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School
Humor
An Autocrats Guide to High School
Writer Lij Wynter
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG-13
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An Autocrats Guide to High School
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A - A - A
#2
Hell(o) School
Lij Wynter
Aug 1, 2017
0
0
56
6 Mins Read
No Plagiarism!7yF1kNGv54ZIywEf1LBtposted on PENANA

"So. This is a bit awkward." spoke a voice in front of an entire classroom. It was dead silent. Until "pftt" escaped the lips of some random person, more chuckling could be heard gradually increasing in volume. The classroom was filled with large smiles and teary eyes at the sight of Eliot standing still at the front of the class. He blinked twice quickly and the whole class erupted in a tumultuous laugh fest, all merging into a volcanic explosion of manic and vulgar laughter, he could swear a few drops of spit cleared the room to his face. Boys, girls, all laughed at him, some taking pictures at his unreactive face, and even the teacher let out a small laugh, trying to hide it. Through the walls of the class came even more laughing and voices asking "Hey, is the pants shitter in today!?" "That's the *haha* only *haha* wayyy anyone would laugh so *wheeze* so, so Ha-hard!" "Brave Guy!". In all this unadulterated laughter, Eliot's expression stayed as dead as it always was, just his eyes a bit more opened than usual and his lips slightly folded in on themselves. To him, he never saw his classmates laughing at him, only his future slaves in the corporate world and cackling mules. He kept this to himself though. 60Please respect copyright.PENANAxd6c3dIAoO
60Please respect copyright.PENANACGE7N1sC4b
copyright protection56PENANA6mn1SMs0u1

"*HeHe* Oh boy, *hahaa* o-okay class, that's enough, no more laughing." Said a teacher not doing what he preached. The man could barely keep himself together, trying not to laugh. A good five minutes passed before Mr. Wilson actually got the class to stop mocking the boy. "I say you should flip them off and tell them to "**** off ***** ****** or **** themselves and **** ***** dogs. Yeah, definitely that" said some voice only audible to Eliot. "No... Don't you have an off switch?" He responded, "Yeah, its called suicide, you might wanna try it sometime, *kehahaha*" it retorted. "Hrrr." The only sound Eliot made the entire time. As the laughter gradually died down he walked with a small limp to his seat, the third one to the back at the far right, and placed a pink cushion on his chair. All eyes were on him and skinned teeth ready to laugh all over again. He sat down, just like that, didn't even flinch. Sat down and placed his books on his desk. He unfolded his lips and lowered his raised eyes a bit and faced forward. "Hey, aren't you supposed to like, squint from the pain or something" asked Fred to Eliot. He was the seat right behind him, typical athletic kid with rich parents. Nothing special. Eliot turned to him to say "No, why would I... ever do that?" with a wry smile. "Oh no reason *heh* its just that I can't figure how anyone could sit when their ass' been wrecked like that *pfft* *hahaaha*" returned Fred, what came next was unexpected for anyone to hear. "Maybe you should ask your mom when her pimps done with her." Snapped back Eliot in a cool voice. "Ohhhh snap!" Brad couldn't help but say, the class fell out of giggling and in unision all said "Oooohhhhhhhh!". copyright protection56PENANAGBzmDT9jpe

[Jeff: You ain't taking that Fred! Right?] copyright protection56PENANAnpXWWCcXnN

[Hank: Damn savage.] copyright protection56PENANArt9Pu2BX36

[Alexia: What did he say? I thought he was better than that.] copyright protection56PENANAZJHy5ksfES

[Rufus: You got that on camera right?] copyright protection56PENANAu2irYe3bcr

All this and more was heard in the class. Freds expression lost its smile and turned grim in a second. "F*** did you say?" He stood up with nothing but aggression and flung his desk and chair aside. *Klang* the metal from the desk and chair struck the ground and resonated in the silent class. copyright protection56PENANAYDU8tpb4me

[Bob: Hey! Your chair hit me!] copyright protection56PENANAalYSU4dnkR

[Fred: Shut up Bob! No one cares about you! Now what did you say you c***sucker?] copyright protection56PENANAgOUyfSNj3Z

[Eliot: Teacher, you won't allow this will you? He just said a bad word.] copyright protection56PENANAK2DFa64mbq

Eliot playfully said to the teacher with a small smile. Fred was noticeably more aggravated at this comment, Mr. Wilson spoke out in anger. "Eliot, go to the principal's office, now!" copyright protection56PENANABlMAeHEr5Z

[Eliot: Make me.] copyright protection56PENANAjlNdU36Ima

[Mr. Wilson: Boy, if you don't get out this class right now I will go to him myself and give you 2 weeks suspension!] copyright protection56PENANAH7clMnrQKC

Eliot turned his attention to him and said; copyright protection56PENANAhlY3VcLAEQ

[Eliot: I'm sure I'll learn more with no teacher for 2 weeks than with you wasting my time.] copyright protection56PENANAzYcmc7pjPM

Mr. Wilsons blonde hair began to unfurl itself and his face began to redden in ruby rage, quite a brilliant scene to behold to say nothing of this spectacle. Eliot smirked... until... *Thud* A heavy impact hit his desk and he fell to the ground with blood leaking from his forehead. copyright protection56PENANAtxTGSF4jwO

*** copyright protection56PENANAWN9VR47CFM

[Eliot: Whu- whu... Uhhh, oww. What, where are I?] copyright protection56PENANAteLFBXN1gC

[Ms. Nurse: On a highway to hell.] copyright protection56PENANANKaHr2nvmT

[Eliot: Soooo, the nurses office?] copyright protection56PENANAjiGtexymad

[Ms. Nurse: Winner winner, want some dinner?] copyright protection56PENANA8DsUj3R648

[Eliot: So schools over too?] copyright protection56PENANAJSTTzkWWPi

[Ms. Nurse: You're getting better at this.] copyright protection56PENANAP9BwDP4bbf

[Eliot: I aim to please... mostly myself] copyright protection56PENANAokTRecU6jZ

[Ms. Nurse: And the wrath of others, want me to tell you how you got here this time, or do you wanna figure it out yourself?] copyright protection56PENANAf3S8XrtToj

[Eliot: Yeah, I think I wanna try this time, can I get a... *ugh* mirror... and a Panadol?] copyright protection56PENANAcetOL6EPhP

[Ms. Nurse: In a minute.] copyright protection56PENANA4GaXxpasvu

The nurse went over the medical cupboard and took out three items: A mirror, Panadols, and a sticker. She walked over and handed them over to the ailing student. He thanked her as she did so and he looked at her and said; copyright protection56PENANAsLxkUvMnpa

[Eliot: Do you have a map, because I got lost in your eyes] copyright protection56PENANAHBpapag3Zy

The lady chuckled and responded appropriately "5 out of 10, you'll have to try better than that." "Oh, I was talking to my reflection, sorry." He just smiled it aside and looked in the mirror as she got back to business. He took notice that on his forehead was a large white patch, properly bandaged up and everything, no blood to speak of, but he could still feel a stinging pain. He popped open a Panadol and some water from the faucet near him and took his medicine. Feeling that not much else could be done, he looked at the injury more carefully and surmised the cause. But before he said another word, he looked to the nurse sorting through her low drawer looking for something, and he couldn't help but notice that her shape was positively amazing as usual. His eyes were locked on her back as if he were firing heat seeking missiles. copyright protection56PENANAT4e42MtdfZ

[Ms. Nurse: You know I can feel your eyes on me right?] copyright protection56PENANAHHKf1EKN19

[Eliot: Darn: How do you do that?] copyright protection56PENANAYILnTbx9fx

[Ms. Nurse: Intuition and mirrors.] copyright protection56PENANAH9CWdFIGSX

They both chuckled at this and so Eliot filled in "I'm guessing that Fred the Ted bashed my head into my desk when my head was turned." "Mhmm" she responded nodding, "Can you guess how you got here too?" He thought a bit more and thought of how. "Was it... Xia?" He said. He got a positive answer from her "yup". copyright protection56PENANAGAEqPG4Au6

[Eliot: Where is he now?] copyright protection56PENANAKsPvQIHoSW

[Ms. Nurse: He's outside waiting, and he said I should tell you he has your phone or something." copyright protection56PENANAVz5yvjde05

He panickily checked his person to find his phone was gone. "Huh". He shrugged, "well, that's cool. Thanks, Ms. Nurse! See ya" copyright protection56PENANAbGFQ6vxb51

[Ms. Nurse: Mhmm, I'll see you next week.] copyright protection56PENANAhQu7mlP3JH

She said as she waved him off with a smile.  copyright protection56PENANA0Fh6dNpr1q

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