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Fantasy
Romance
Red Dragon
Writer Msmarv28
Writer
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
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26 Likes
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Red Dragon
5 Bookmarks
Red Dragon
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A - A - A
Intro 2 3 4 5 6 7
#1
FAILURE
Msmarv28
Comments ( 2 )
C.M.F. Wright - Wow! This is a really gripping first chapter. There were a couple issues with verb tenses (sometimes you are in present tense and sometimes you are in past tense), and the grammar relating to dialogue could also have been more polished. Both of these things jolted me out of the writing a bit. I also confess to initially thinking this might be a game of thrones fanfiction in disguise with assassin!Arya and then later realizing it was a unique story.  



Other than that, I had few complaints. The story has a strong opening and I love how you quickly establish tension between Malich and Arya. Arya seems like a strong female character, eager to prove herself, still growing/learning and potentially about to undergo some major and interesting life changes. I look forward to reading more about her.  Malich seems like a jerk who may become the main antagonist in the story - or not, unclear at this point - but the tension between him and Arya, and their dynamic, make me want to read on. Strong work!
10 months agoreply

Capt. leon - i love it! is so good!
1 year agoreply

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