{Tyler}copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGLuJY2h7D
“Fucking hell Tyler! You reek of smoke, and I see the blood starting to soaking through! Give me the bag.” Preston reached for it, but I yanked it back,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡovJvfm7AVk
“No, leave me alone.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxzAefGt3E
“I’m not going to leave you alone if your harming yourself! I’m trying to help!”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyZE4WXfU5
“Well, I’m sorry to say this, but you aren’t fucking helping! You’re just making this shit worse!”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPa3BFdgOP
“Then I'm sorry!” He tossed my backpack at me, whacking me in the face, “You're a fucking asshole.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeuaF7oAMk
“Thanks.” I slid the plastic bag inside, and slung it over my shoulders, and began walking away again,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOgioPddsk
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” He grabbed my wrist, making me wince in pain, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnU7hebp7H
Even though it was clear that he was upset, my brain kept telling me that he was lying to me, that he didn't actually care.copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fnWZv4tgQ
“No. No, you're not.” I shook my head, taking a step away from him.copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5DPB8w9Nq
“Please, Tyler.” A tear streamed down his cheek, and I frowned, scanning over his face again, “Stop being so stubborn. You know that I care about you.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAyIiHWyTM
“No, I-I don't know that.” I turned around, but before I could move, Preston forced me into a hug, and cried into my shoulder.copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡnESc9etH9z
“Tyler, you mean the world to me. I need you to know and realize that.” He sobbed,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgjXqFyPGS
“Stop crying…”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡjk5xQ3bSKt
“I can't help it… I don't like knowing that you're harming yourself, I don't like knowing that you hate yourself, and I sure as hell don't like you thinking that I hate you. I could never hate you.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNy3MN9yW7
“You could.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7E54CBYu9i
“No, I couldn't. I've tried. I've tried so hard to not care, and to hate you, but I can't because I… I…” copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡctLECnTKtK
“You what?” I turned around to face him,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcdV7iMoHK
“Nevermind.” His face was bright red,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBjQPOBmKf
“Okay…” I sighed, deciding to sit on a crate,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJYjf0a2v9
“Can… Can you show me your arms?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0bDP1zyC7
“Why?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡclg3Jqo1ma
“Because you're bleeding pretty badly, and I want to make sure it's not going to become infected, or it needs stitches.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3RRSPIFFW
“Well it doesn't matter if I need stitches or not, I can't just go see a doctor anymore.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8Phg9tRno
“My boyfriend's mom is a doctor, she could do it.” Amiable informed, alerting me to their presence,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡktKouC7K5O
“Oh, uh, okay. Thanks.” I mumbled, avoiding eye contact,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡSznuH39P14
“Just so you're aware, I'm not judging, I used to cut too.” They lifted their sleeve to show me the scars of transphobic slurs that they had carved into their arms.copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡTF7VBNy9nn
“Sorry, it just makes me uncomfortable.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnuzHIyVNh
“Well, there's an empty closet in the back, you guys can go there?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCJyLTuXqY
“Yeah, thanks.” Preston nodded, grabbing my arm so I was unable to protest against him,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wFCeDmcOs
“Ow, okay, let go, that hurts like a biiitch!” copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡikNOnksgMj
“Sorry, sorry.” He released my arm, and opened the door to the closet, letting me enter before locking it behind us, just in case.copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IWw6jcG4P
“Ugh, it smells like weed in here.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTGg5B0ZCj
“How do you know what that smells like?” Preston asked, getting reading to scold me,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA183x7SzN
“Relaaax, some dumbass offered me a joint, I tried it, but it gave me a panic attack, so I didn't do it again after that,”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOvku4YMvR
“Still, you shouldn't have tried it.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfE8dzT2n9
“Well, I didn't know what else to do. I was trying to swap it for cutting. Which is what got me to start smoking, but obviously that didn't work out, did it?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJSNDPWW3K
“Obviously not, now show me what you did.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡWO3mIvezV4
“Uh, I'll show you my arms, but I am not taking off my pants.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX9rDpGpYm
“What? You think I'm gonna look?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tGqAoUFuU
“Ew! What?! No! I've just done way more disturbing shit down there, and I don't want anyone to see that.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5sbeoMNnT
“I'm not going to judge you, and I won't tell anyone else what I saw.” copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3gJWdPqxD
“Trust me, you do not want to see it.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ktKew30Mg
“You lied to me for four years, and you expect me to trust you. Yeah, right.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡziqy9ZkXwj
“Okay, okay, you have a point there.” I admitted, copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQw3W5nYcg
“Are you going to show me, or not?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSyyGq9jgD
“Yeah, in a second… How much of it fo you really want to see?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbfir8nM8f
“All of it.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡBc2t13ijWF
“Fuck, guess I'm stripping then.” I laughed, though neither of us found it funny,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsigdRro1C
“Tyler…” He put a hand to his mouth as soon as I took my shirt off, “Why?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡJO3ACc0vJw
“Honestly? I don't even know.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoDuCyPjnW
“What do you mean?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYjyWCU6L4
“Well, the first couple times I did it, it wasn't because I was upset. Just that something called me to it, and I didn't resist it. Sometimes there are still moments like this, but now there are times I use as an emotional outlet too.” I confessed,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3cjPbqVEV
“Why didn't you… stop?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHmfzBrT4F
“Because it just doesn't work like that. It’s an addiction. No matter what I do, my body craves it. And it sucks. It sucks so bad. I was able to stop for three months, and it felt amazing, but I relapsed after some stupid ass argument.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡavOfWLNHz6
“Wait…” Preston bit his lip, and scanned my body, “This is all shit I've called you before when we fought…” Preston sniffled, as he read the words I had written into my skin, that would permanently remind me of who I really was.copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PB3ZIxKpm
I looked away, not wanting to confirm, or deny his statement, but I think my answer was clear enough.copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eWxXXtOuo
“You aren't insane, you aren't a failure, you aren't an idiot, or stupid, you aren't worthless, useless, and you aren't unloveable. You aren't-” He kept going on, and on, until he had read every visible word on my upper half, “I'm so sorry I did this to you, Tyler.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a7KfdowEH
“You didn't do anything, Preston.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡgONJTu4dtA
“Don't say that. You know that it's not true. I hurt you, and I hurt you really damn bad. I hurt you to the point where you decided that you deserve to imprint words into your skin, because you believed the shitty things I told you! That's not okay, Tyler!”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTOTYq1VfO
“But I forgive you Preston…”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxfwFNm5uL
“You shouldn't. I totally fucked up your head-”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MiRjhYCNX
“Preston, don't say that. I'd be fucked up in the head with or without you. It's not something I'd be able to escape.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOrSWxv46h
“Still, I said really bad things to you. If you had said that to me, I would be pissed beyond belief, and never talk to you again. You shouldn't forgive me for degrading you to this point.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyzC8e1VIR
“But I never let you know that it was happening. How would you have known?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OtoGu3xJc
“I shouldn't have to-”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHCWiyUPnb
“You know what? Let's just stop. I don't feel like arguing right now.” I picked up my shirt,copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV2w7lgTjK
“No, I want to see your legs.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡYq9SBwH1Qz
“Trust me, you don't.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡxES3pHSPSp
“Please,”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGkwKetw5L
“Fine… God dammit…” I pulled my pants off, making Preston sob at the sight of the cuts, and the words.copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡCA7jdrGxDD
“Why didn't you tell someone about this?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2a3SfKwrw
“I wanted to. God, I wanted to so fucking bad, but I was terrified, and I believed that nobody would care anyways, so why bother?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oner1UHC5
“Why can't you understand how much that I care?”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡZS4y2iY8l5
“It's part of my disorder, so no matter how much I want to, I will never feel cared about, because my brain will never let me know that I am.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxTUgHFHXR
“I hate that.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpfFm0BbfC
“I hate it too, but I can't do a thing about it.” I shrugged, “The only way to get better, because it'll never go away, is therapy, and I’ve never gotten access to that.”copyright protection132ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93HecHDnjx
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