鴻運當頭獅子頭,發財就手燜豬手。copyright protection135PENANAaMBQ7O3l02
開年飯的意頭菜說到底也只是一道寓意的象徵,最重要的莫過於是所有家人齊齊整整的團聚在一起,樂也融融共度慶祝新年。copyright protection135PENANAhSNe8FHj05
然而,對於我們甘家來說,開年飯的意義卻完全有別於主流。copyright protection135PENANAuRu65KeB8L
每一道意頭菜式均是為了謝絕親戚前來聚餐誕生而成,藉此帶出不要前來探訪或逗留過長的訊息,好讓我們家裡能夠在新年裡頭樂得一絲的安靜。copyright protection135PENANARjxt9Fhd0i
三表姐,九姨婆,十八姑丈,二十三舅父....copyright protection135PENANAfib3xjIeCJ
父系甘家的族譜好比千年古樹的老樹盤根,千絲萬縷,錯綜複雜,親戚的數目足以能夠包下一整間劇院的坐位。copyright protection135PENANAk7BOeGzshI
讓人感到無奈的是,母系因家的族譜亦絕對不比甘家的為之遜色,舅父舅母數以十計。copyright protection135PENANAd91LCbqUpr
因著父親甘尚生的事業略有所成的關係,我們家的面積是雙方親戚中最為龐大的,順理成章便成為了兩家所有親戚在新年時候共聚一堂的理想地點。copyright protection135PENANAcEJnIgHruk
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雙親均是愛好寧靜的人,性格同時略為內斂,不太敢向親戚們直接道出不要在新年期間前來打擾的意願。copyright protection135PENANAVlTX6v8xqx
「聰明」的雙親為了婉轉地向親戚們傳達出自己心中的想法,決意在每年的意頭菜裡頭做上手腳,好讓眾人們能夠識趣地知難而退。copyright protection135PENANAYDcH0UXIls
「鵝們這一家」,用上鵝掌、鵝翼、鵝頸等部位砌成花師奶的模樣,再用上攪拌機把鵝肉及內臟榨汁奉上,實行一鵝兩味。copyright protection135PENANA2whtiV9K8h
「如魚得水」,把曬乾的鹹魚與及鴨肉慢火熬製成老火湯水,未見已能聞其惡臭的噁心氣味。copyright protection135PENANAu4Cn1JSagi
「雞玉滿堂」,那年適逢麥樂雞特價出售,父親用上貨車大手搜羅各區的麥樂雞,與母親二人合力一手一腳的把麥樂雞填滿在火雞裡頭,再把其附送的醬汁塗在火雞表面放進焗爐烤製。copyright protection135PENANAIeVUWWPTFb
這道菜式的效果在眾多之中最為顯注,至今我還記得親戚們拿起餐刀把火雞切開,目瞪口呆看著堆製如山的麥樂雞一塊一塊的從山上滾下來的模樣。copyright protection135PENANAmHHEbZzlJI
翌年及期後的年份,有份參於割開火雞肚皮的親戚們如人間蒸發般的消失蹤影,紛紛改用郵寄或電子轉帳的方式送上利是錢。copyright protection135PENANACdMeAOYtYf
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奈何,儘管雙親們每年花盡腦汁製作別出心裁的「意頭菜」,家族排行十九的十九舅父及舅母依舊每年均風雨不改地拜訪我們這一家,讓雙親感到心煩又心躁。copyright protection135PENANADbgqqRepkd
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「老婆,我終於想通了!copyright protection135PENANAcrTsSkj6JE
原來我們一直也是用上了錯誤的分針呀!」139Please respect copyright.PENANADpW5fJ04Qc
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這一年,父親甘尚生在閱讀佛學書籍的時候領悟出了一道真理。copyright protection135PENANAWXcuQ2nXcb
「色即是空,空即是色,無招勝有招!copyright protection135PENANAEoDyQvSaCB
我們今年甚麼意頭菜也不煮上的話,他們定必會感到無癮,下一年便不會再來拜訪吧!」copyright protection135PENANAOW0AawbTBi
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「老公!!!你真聰明!抵錫!」母親因賞吻了父親一下,亮出甜蜜的笑容。copyright protection135PENANACJnfheL9on
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誰不知,聰明反被聰明誤,翌年十九舅父和十九舅母竟然擅自攜帶菜式前來拜年....copyright protection135PENANAiVryGtFsUJ
「新年快樂,財源廣進呀,尚生!」copyright protection135PENANAswsQMJ4xTt
十九舅父雙手拿著盛滿餐盒的環保袋,作出一道恭賀的手勢。copyright protection135PENANAVEGfqtKJt7
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「嗯....新快....」copyright protection135PENANAIFYbvKUziO
得知自己的「色即是空」政策徹底地失敗後,尚生一臉無癮,垂頭喪氣的作出超簡短回答。copyright protection135PENANA2dtJtTcdDG
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「呵呵,祝你學業進步,快高長大呢,甘時!」copyright protection135PENANAlt1kEw4z5n
十九舅父跟父親作出恭賀,隨即把衣服口袋裡藏有「硬塊」的紅利是交到我手中。copyright protection135PENANAn8BQR4K4hn
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「多謝十九舅父、十九舅母!祝你們心想事成!」copyright protection135PENANAwcbywQ4Bp9
感測得到利是裡頭竟然是一塊五毫硬幣後,我心中的怒火猛烈的燃燒起來,用上年初四的口臉跟二人作出祝賀。copyright protection135PENANAZNiADaEoeW
139Please respect copyright.PENANAqW9ivXpOMA
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「呵呵,真乖!」copyright protection135PENANARjs3RZTVBj
十九舅父右手輕輕掃過我的頭髮後,呵呵大笑擅自進入大屋裡頭。copyright protection135PENANA5A6oaKyP8N
彩鳳迎春、年年有餘、發財好市、百花如意卷、四喜鮮蔬.....copyright protection135PENANALUMlkYWJ7J
出乎意料之外,十九舅父舅母所帶來的賀年菜可真不少,而且更是色香味俱存,具大師級的風範。copyright protection135PENANAZZ3r3VrXQ2
其中那道雞蛋煎年糕更是讓我感到極為驚訝,不但有嚼勁不黏口,蛋香與及年糕的甜味更是配合得恰到好處,達天人合一之境。copyright protection135PENANAgWCnlN7TCf
大概是跟我有著同感的關係,雙親全程只是埋頭苦幹的默默進食,不發一言。copyright protection135PENANAHnauJvsFeA
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「時仔,你知道雞蛋煎年糕的典故由來嗎?」copyright protection135PENANA9QbLdwylqb
十九舅父率先在寧靜的飯局作出破冰舉動。copyright protection135PENANAB8yLCig5Xu
「不知道。」copyright protection135PENANAGnIgPnTdut
我皺起雙眉,漠然搖頭道。copyright protection135PENANAsDkDpyaYTB
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「相傳呢,一名寡婦妒嫉自己家姐婚姻美滿的關係,特意為她的兒子烹調雞蛋煎年糕,取其快高長大意頭的同時,暗中詛咒其所有考試測試均取得零雞蛋零分呢!」copyright protection135PENANA18lKob8hpD
十九舅父名副其實的揚起了一道「十九」的笑容。copyright protection135PENANAKRg5vGDFFx
「甚麼!?」copyright protection135PENANAhO11xinyPQ
聽到這個典故後,我嚇得把口中的雞蛋煎年糕碎塊連忙吐出來。copyright protection135PENANAwRYSBm4JDt
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「放心!放心!時仔,雞蛋煎年糕的詛咒可是有很多拆解方法的!」copyright protection135PENANAENOGPmYdUN
十九舅父此時展示出一道嚴肅的模樣。copyright protection135PENANA3rE1jgnn01
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「例如呢?copyright protection135PENANAlFmalcwjpr
呀! 我想到了!是不是聆聽防彈少年團的歌曲呢?」copyright protection135PENANA7sSMtc2RA2
聰敏的我當下想出了「食字」的拆解辦法。copyright protection135PENANASrpiEqbHMc
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「吓?甚麼是防彈少年團?」copyright protection135PENANAgEG9qalt2V
十九舅父一臉不惑的看著我,雙手放在身後蠢蠢蠢欲動起來。copyright protection135PENANAvUnVd1loI7
「正確解法是吃下大量嘉頓雜餅,再灌下大量清水,迫使自己扣喉把詛咒完整吐出來呢!」copyright protection135PENANABYftByHrne
十九舅父像魔術師似的變出了一罐紅白家庭裝嘉頓雜餅放在桌前,哈哈仰天大笑起來。copyright protection135PENANAFETmNkx9Nz
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啪!copyright protection135PENANAsamW7doFQk
啪!copyright protection135PENANAFxEebVo3wt
此刻,雙親一臉激動的大聲拍打由雲石所製造的餐桌,滿臉通紅的一致地對我作出大聲呼喚。copyright protection135PENANAZYEmRm4hiE
「時仔,你還在等待著甚麼!copyright protection135PENANAMKO8HWl6Cc
現在可是嘉頓雜餅在前呀! 士可殺不可辱呀!」copyright protection135PENANArhJ5vV1UYy
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與雙親確認過眼神後,我隨即用上了多年苦練而成的筷子功,以慢卻雙親零點三秒左右的時間把夾上「發財好市」的蠔豉,塞進十九舅父的口裡,一家三口心有靈犀的大喝一聲。copyright protection135PENANAnxKTz6hYvX
「食屎啦你!」copyright protection135PENANAGzo9sZjhVA
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