“WHAT?!” Haven screamed. I watched her as the tears began flowing, and I didn’t know what I could possibly say to her. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIReTZDBBs 維尼
I made sure that I didn’t smile because my mind was thinking about how thankful Delcan would be about all of this. “I said, I wanted us to break up.”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyD3qoftio 維尼
“I’m so confused. What did I do?!” Haven was screaming and crying at the same time while I suddenly realized how much this mattered to her. She threw her hands up in the air, and I almost grabbed the door handle in order to leave. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31gXg1VvSj 維尼
“Seriously, Ezra. You can’t just leave me without an excuse! Why?! What did I do?! Is it something that I said? If so, I’m sorry, okay? I’m really sorry!” She grabbed my arm when I turned away from her. “Please, tell me what I did. Why are you acting like this?”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JJaNlMXIX 維尼
“Haven, we’re done. Stop it.” It was all I could say to her. I had no excuse other than the fact that I did like somebody else, and her sister knows about it. And if I don’t say anything soon, she will. Her parents will know soon, and so will everybody else. Haven deserves better than a guy who’s lying to her and cheating with somebody else. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡYw5brczoRA 維尼
Haven’s face was full confusion. “NO!” she screamed. She tightened her arm on me, and my body began to fill with anger. Just leave me alone, Haven. How do you not get it? “Tell me what I did. Why are you breaking up with me?”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXnTz3RQ2v 維尼
“Haven, seriously-” I began to say.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡfL0itSYryd 維尼
“WHY?!” she screamed.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwORzKSAkC 維尼
“Because I’m gay!” I screamed. I was breathing heavily, and I think she was too. The entire house was silent, and I didn’t even want to believe the words came out of my mouth. They didn’t. They couldn’t have. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu90eO8pN1 維尼
I just imagined it.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLHvmMrJpA 維尼
“What?” Haven asked. She looked at me up and down, and I could see her beginning to cry again. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0UvIE8Vic 維尼
I did say it. She knows now. She knows why we never should’ve been together in the first place - and why I left her after the Halloween party. But I said it again just for extra measure. “I’m gay,” I said silently. I felt myself start to spin a little bit, but I was trying to relax a bit more.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6PgkexEVQ 維尼
Haven bit her lip hard, and she was trying to catch her breath. “No,” she whispered. “You’re not gay, you’re dating me. You love me.” She tried pulling her lips to mine, but before she could kiss me, I pushed her off with gentleness. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ4Z5310kQ 維尼
“I don’t love you,” I said. That’s when Haven burrowed her head in her hands. I suddenly realized how horrible that sounded. “No, I mean. I do love you, just not in that way. But I love you like-”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡpc9rXGDfyd 維尼
“That means nothing to me, Ezra,” Haven said. She was crossing her arms over her chest, and I felt a sting of guilt hit me right in the heart. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEUCRJ0yLm 維尼
There was nothing I could say to make the situation better, so I just kept on talking. “Look,” I said softly. “I’m sorry that I lied to you. I should’ve told you about my sexuality sooner. I just-I don’t love you like that.”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrqVwZPEQp 維尼
Haven put her head down. “Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked me, tears running down her face.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡniKLs8ldYJ 維尼
“I don’t know,” I muttered. But truthfully, I was scared. I was scared of the possible outcomes - but I wasn’t expecting this one. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c0o2g6qiS 維尼
She nodded slowly. Her voice had gone from the loudest I’d ever head it to as silent as the fan blowing in her room. I watched as she began digging her nails into her arm. “Okay,” she whispered.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvamnLuQTI 維尼
I pulled her hands away from her arm, and tried to get her to look at me - but she wouldn’t. “I’m going to leave, okay?”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡgePR9qKMcf 維尼
Haven nodded.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCLuGmv6sF 維尼
“Are you gonna be alright?” I asked her again. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8P0PqIRfrw 維尼
She hesitated, then nodded again.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXz7r1nFLo 維尼
“Okay.” I let go of her hands as she put them down to her sides. It hurt to see her like this, a lot more than I thought it would. I’d never seen her look so tired in her life as if she’d ran for a straight five miles. I don’t understand how she could possibly feel right now, but I wish that I did. “I’ll leave you alone now.”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡTH6a9Acj3r 維尼
I turned to walk away, and that’s when I heard Haven say something to me. “Who is it?” she asked. When I turned around, she was making eye contact with me now. I don’t think Haven was crying anymore, but her mascara was running, and her eyes were red and puffy.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyzgWt7HC5 維尼
“Who?”436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADUwxJxKDD
8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLos9bB6jc 維尼
“The guy you’re cheating on me with,” Haven said, still looking at me.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTzg6VfVPP 維尼
I shook my head. “I never said that I was cheating.”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5VOVlIJvD 維尼
“Ezra.” Haven began pulling her blouse back on, and I looked at the floor until she was finished. “You were my first time and the first guy I ever had feelings for. The least you could do is give me a ⟴ name.”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡXukFvQkXOl 維尼
She was angry now.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1B2yh1rooz 維尼
I knew how mad she must be - because I was angry with myself, too. But I couldn’t tell her. I felt my stomach turn and had to get the words out of my mouth quickly. “See you later.”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeHzH8FyBD 維尼
When I closed the door behind me, I felt my stomach reject the breakfast I’d had this morning as Haven’s crying and screaming filled the house. Clearly, she was upset. And I knew why. I didn’t blame her if she tried kicking me in the nuts at school tomorrow.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMpSIUzUH4 維尼
I swiftly ran outside of the house and a few places down then threw up everything I’d eaten.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmIB3vC5mp 維尼
There was really no exact reason why I was throwing up. It wasn’t because of Haven kissing me at all, but because of how guilty I felt for lying to her about everything. It was more than I was disgusted with myself than anything else because I’d been such a liar. I’d lied to so many people, and I sat there as Haven cried - unable to really do anything. I kept on throwing up for what felt like hours at a time, and then my body was done.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoxSTc2Q4P 維尼
My stomach was still in pain from how much I’d vomited, but I still felt horrible. I pushed my hair out of my face and tried to relax, making sure I wouldn’t look down at the mess I created. Dad thinks that I’m girly in the sense that I can’t look at my own puke, but I can look at others. I don’t know why - it just happened that way.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuuTvrnqTZ 維尼
And then there was a voice behind me. “You alright, dude?”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGPdljkaN0 維尼
It was from Eric. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡnW45Jns0eZ 維尼
I didn’t respond with words - because I felt like another load of leftovers would come out of me, but I nodded. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCTa7eYnp8 維尼
“You sure?”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpWujp3jGu 維尼
This time, I made eye contact with him and nodded again. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiQbNruyiJ 維尼
Eric shrugged. “Alright…” he made no try in believing me, but it didn’t matter too much. We walked to the car together in silence as I tried to make it seem like I wasn’t holding my stomach. My abs were sore from staying at the gym for my punishment, and it hurt to breathe. Maybe I was having a panic attack or something - I don’t know.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡAT22xD9Oid 維尼
When we arrived at our house, I got out of the car and slammed the door behind me. Right when I was about to enter the house, Eric hit my shoulder. “What?” I almost yelled. My mood changed - and it was like a volcano was bubbling up inside of me, waiting to blow up.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ091iZSU2E 維尼
“I’ll be here if you need to talk, Ezra,” Eric told me. I understood that he was trying to care, but I couldn’t accept any of that right now. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3sh2NwpoL 維尼
Shrugging him off of me, I nodded. “Okay.”8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vqCotyZ9X 維尼
Eric moved past me and walked into the house. But before he turned around and left me outside to myself, he said one last thing. “You’re still doing my chores, though.” He smiled when I flipped him off, then closed the front door behind him.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHyVV5NqKx 維尼
Before walking into the house, I shut my phone off and then took a few deep breaths. You’ll be fine, you’ll be fine. Just breathe. Breathe. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9UzXpsjmc 維尼
And I walked into the house.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnEtBRikcO 維尼
“Phone.” Dad’s voice was strict without any questions to be asked. I set my phone down in his hands and prayed that he wouldn’t try going into it and looking through my messages. I needed to talk to somebody else about this - without anyone else really around. 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuniAVY0sn 維尼
I walked up the stairs and went into Eric’s room, which was wide open. Both Eric and Evelyn were in there, talking in hushed voices. They both stopped talking and looked at me whenever I cleared my throat.8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tH3MTIz5x 維尼
“When Mom and Dad are asleep,” I started to say. Eric and Evelyn raised their eyebrows as they waited for what I was about to say. “Get your keys. I’ll need them to go over to Delcan’s.” 8964 copyright protection432ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBrbHWMWxg 維尼
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