It felt as if the entire world had stopped. My ears began to ring, and I didn’t have to touch my other hand to know they were sweating. I couldn’t even answer her. The only adult that could have any idea of my sexuality was my aunt, and she didn’t even know the full story.
To me, all adults don’t handle news like teens do. They take it more seriously, and they somehow need to know every single detail about it. For instance, Delcan’s parents. When he practically forced me (I tried to fight back, but I lost in a matter of seconds. I didn’t know how at the time, but now I do) to tell his parents I was gay, they got pretty serious about it. Of course, his parents were kind, but they wanted to know why I never said anything in the first place, and they also tried to make me understand my sexuality in a different light.
If I told Haven’s parents I was gay, I’d also have to tell them that I cheated on their daughter with a guy, and one who’s not too kind. I already knew what the end result would be: Haven’s dad would hate me for cheating, while Haven’s mom would be confused, doing her best to be kind about it. Haven has no clue about Angelica knowing, and that’s already enough stress as it is. It’s already too much.
Plus, with school on top, it’ll be like a burning pressure constantly.
“That’s cute,” I told Haven. My mouth was dry, but I tried to pretend it wasn’t.
Haven raised her eyebrows. “I can tell whoever I want Ezra,” she said. “Plus, it’d make sense. You’re crazy if you don’t think nobody notices the way you look at Delcan.”
I don’t look at him in a certain way. “I-” That doesn’t matter. I need to get to the point of this. I shook my head and then crossed my arms over my chest. “Why are you blackmailing me?”477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUwSYyqySu
She slowly nodded, looking down at the ground. “Hardly though, sweetheart,” she said, her head popping back up as she looked at me. “Do you wanna keep your secret to yourself or not?”477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKn13rvS3s
“I don’t look at Delcan in a certain way,” I argued.
Haven rolled her eyes. “Please,” she said. “I’m not that stupid to realize my boyfriend-ex boyfriend, has emotions for somebody else. Just take the deal, okay? I can’t tell my parents on my own.”
Blushing, I asked: “Why do you have to tell them in the first place?”
She looked at me like I was about to get murdered. “Ezra,” she said, her voice going as low as it possibly could. “Take the ⟴ deal or so help me, I’ll ruin everything you’ve worked for.”
I guess my mom was right. You can be in a relationship or a friendship with someone for so long, that you’ll never notice their bad sides. I knew who she was talking about, but I didn’t know if she knew there was a person like that in my life.
Whatever the case was, I could probably convince Mrs. Bronx to convince her husband not to tell anyone.
“Fine,” I said angrily. “Tell me when I need to come over.” 477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwc24JE8zkF
⟴⬉⥦⥦⥦⬈⟴477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JC9CIj9Lh
Eric insisted on driving me over to the Bronx house before we went home. All I had to do was his chores for another week, and babysit Emmanuel, and both Eric and Evelyn would cover for me. My siblings have been acting weird-and a lot nicer-since we went over to Delcan’s house and nothing really happened. I didn’t know why, so I never asked questions.
We already dropped off Emmanuel, and Evelyn stayed in the car as Eric drove us to the Bronx household.
“You should text Delcan,” Evelyn advised me. I turned to look at her, and then realized something. I hadn’t talked to Delcan all day, and after the night we made out, that makes me seem like a jerk. Well, it’s not like he hasn’t done the same thing...once or twice. 477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVqza0kY6d
“It’s not that big of a deal,” I said. Of course it was, though. My body knew, too, because my brain as spinning, and my hands were both shaky and sweaty. “He’s probably busy doing homework.”
Eric chuckled to himself. “No offense, Ezra,” he said. I turned to the window, already knowing what he’d say. “But I don’t think Delcan has ever done a sheet of homework in his entire life. He’s too pretty for that.”477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbW9YTRqAX
“He-” ⟴, he’s right. I was the one who did his homework, while I’m sure he didn’t listen. “That doesn’t matter. Just drive so I can get this over with.”477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEiwBVo5th
Evelyn exhaled. “You shouldn’t have to do something for your ex, bro,” she said. “Seriously, I hate Haven with a burning passion, and she’s just using you because of your own guilt.”
“Well, it’s working,” I told her.
Eric pulled up into the driveway. “Text me when you need a ride,” he said.
I got out of the car, and turned back around to look at my older brother. “Actually,” I told him. “I was thinking about walking back home. It’s just three miles.”
“Fine by me,” Eric shrugged. He drove off, and I started to bite the inside of my cheek. There’s nothing to worry about, I told myself. Well, there was, but it wasn't like I wanted to think about that at the moment.
Walking up the stairs, all I could feel was burning regret. Why am I doing this to myself? Are Haven’s parents knowing better than the school figuring it out in a matter of days?
Yes. Yes, a thousand times, a part of my brain said.
I knocked on the door, then held my hands to my side while I twisted them around. Mrs. Bronx opened up the door, her dirty-blonde hair in a tight ponytail. She was wearing this fancy, dark green dress, and I looked down at my casual jeans and not-washed T-shirt. Dinner. I was underdressed, and I had to tell them at dinner.
Mrs. Bronx gave me a kind smile. “Hi, Ezra,” she said. She gestured her hand inside of the house. “Come on in.”
I nodded, and then shoved my hands into my jacket as I walked into the house. ns 188.8.131.52da2