When I arrived in the parking lot, Eric was just about to leave. “I’m here,” I yelled out. He turned to look at me with a sigh, and a large sense of dread in his eyes. Evelyn must’ve already been in the car with Emmanuel, who I could only assume is passed out.
Eric leaned on the passenger side of the car. “What was it about?” he asked.
I pushed past him. “It’s really none of your business,” I said. For me to tell Evvie’s secret to others would make no sense. She didn’t need that type of attention - and I’m sure her family didn’t want it either. Just like she was doing with my secret, I needed to be a loyal friend. “We should get home.”684Please respect copyright.PENANAG0A9Zm0pFR
“Okay,” Eric said, shrugging as he went to his side of the car. Once I sat down, I turned to see Emmanuel asleep in Evelyn’s lap. Meanwhile, my sister was texting someone, her face beaming.
It’s a guy.
“Who are you texting?” I asked her.
She put her phone down quickly. “Callie,” she instantly said.
I raised an eyebrow. “You like her?” Evelyn opened her mouth in shock as Eric cracked up laughing, almost waking up Emmanuel.
“Since when could I not have girl-friends?” she asked.
Smiling, I shrugged. “Never said you couldn’t have one,” I said. “But seriously, Evelyn Taylore, you’ve really got no reason to lie.”684Please respect copyright.PENANAX2owtW5nGr
My sister closed her mouth and looked out the window, messing with Emmanuel’s hair as my brother started the car. As I relaxed in the comfortable leather seats we were so happily granted with, I got a text.
Speaking of Calliannah Heslop. 684Please respect copyright.PENANA2K4iPFKs9u
Callie:
Hey.684Please respect copyright.PENANAm6ysGBoDbf
Hey? What am I supposed to respond to with hey? Callie hardly even texts me, so getting a “hey” is making my brain spin. Maybe I’ll respond later or something. I don’t even know what to do.
Hey.
Yeah. I’ll respond to it later.
Eric turned on the radio so there’d be some noise in the car but shortly had to turn it off after Emmanuel started crying after waking up from the music. I continued tossing my phone around in my hands before we finally got home.
After it took three people to wake up Emmanuel, all of us went our different ways into the house. I think Evelyn went into the backyard or something, Eric went up to the living room, and I walked upstairs.
I had been doing my homework for thirty minutes before there was a knock on my door. “Not right now!” I yelled, getting aggravated as I broke the pencil lead. Once I got a second one and I had turned the page to my science homework (which is surprisingly easy. Seriously. At this point, it isn’t even like science is a challenge for me), there was another knock on my door.
“Leave me alone!” I said again.
This time, my door just opened.
Why knock if you’re going to open it in the first place?
I turned around in my chair, prepared to yell at Eric or Evelyn, but instead my mother was standing in the door. I sat up and then gave her a smile, trying to look as innocent and as sweet as I possibly could. “Hi, Mom.”
She was holding my laundry in her hands, which I told her I would’ve done, but soon after I had started trying to figure out how the washer worked, she gave up and just did it herself. Mom sat my laundry down on my bed before she began folding my things. “You don’t have to do that,” I told her.
My mom looked at me with her blue eyes, the exact same color as Evelyn and Eric’s. “Please, Ezra, keep working. This’ll take a few minutes.”684Please respect copyright.PENANArKQK6aWNYI
Dad would’ve been angry if he were to see me forcing Mom to work. It was fine if he did it, but not if we did. “Seriously,” I said, standing up and trying to take a pair of my jeans away from her. “I’ve got it.”
She sighed, then allowed me to begin folding my laundry, which actually made me kind of upset. When I say that I can do something on my own, it typically means 25% of me is serious about that, while the other 75% really just wants that person to do it themselves. On top of that, I didn’t even know how to fold my laundry like Mom did. For some reason, my mother stayed in my room.
“How’s school been, sweetie?” she asked.
Great. Small talk. “Good,” I muttered.
“And..how are your friends?” she asked me. I turned to her when she said that and raised my eyebrows. She began messing with her hands, a sign she was nervous. “I mean, typically you would have Adam or Thomas over sometimes. But lately, I haven’t really seen them too much.”
I looked at my underwear for a few seconds, trying to understand how I was supposed to fold this. “We see each other at school, Mom. We’re chill,” I said.
“Good,” she told me. “It’s...good to have friends.”684Please respect copyright.PENANAq0aELQdVQf
“Yup.”
As I gave up on trying to fold underwear the right way, I moved on to the shirts which were to the right of the basket. Mom still was talking to me about whatever she thought was so important. “Speaking of friends…” she said. Great, I thought to myself. Now we have to talk about dating. “What are your plans for the dance?”
I completely forgot about that.
Because of the income from our school applications and also from things such as G.A.T.E. and brain wiz competitions - along with scholarships for sports (which I am very thankful I haven’t gotten yet), our school has dances pretty often. There was said to be another dance to the end of February when the weather was better, which all the girls are already obsessing over.
Wait...maybe that’s why Brielle is talking to me so much.
The back of my head wanted to go with Delcan. I wish it would’ve been fine for me to simply go into that dance (Delcan probably looking 1,000 times better than me) while my friends and I hung around as guys awkwardly asked others to date. I actually thought it’d be fun to go to the mid-winter dance and hold Delcan’s hand as if he were my own, maybe even calling him my boyfriend one day.
But most of all, I wanted us to slow dance.
Not that I knew how to.
I gave my mom a smile. “I’m not really thinking about taking anyone,” I told her. “Or going, for that matter."684Please respect copyright.PENANAkEOXLF7tJU
That was a lie, and I knew it.
Mom nodded. “It wouldn’t be bad to have people with you,” she suggested. Finally, I had finished folding my clothes. It didn’t look like when Mom did it, but hey, I was trying. “Friends or not.”
“Yeah.”
After a moment of silence, Mom said something that made my heart stop. “You know…” she whispered. “If there’s anything you feel like you can’t say, I wouldn’t judge you. Nobody’s perfect, Ezra, and I don’t expect you to be either. Regardless, sweetheart, I’m still going to love you the same.”
Did she know?
I was always quiet growing up, and I don’t ever remember giving so much as a hint that I wasn’t like Eric was. I had no idea how she could possibly know. She didn’t see me kissing Delcan in our house, which was stupid now that I think about it, but she also has never looked through my phone like she says - so she has no idea about my private messages with Delcan, either.
Regardless, I felt my throat clam up and my hands sweat. My back was turned to her, so I hoped that my breathing looked normal, like I wasn’t affected by the words she just told me. Like I didn’t just think she knows.
I wish I could tell her. I wish it wouldn’t be so huge for me to simply say I liked guys, and that I actually wanted my relationship with Delcan to go somewhere - even though he seems pissed for some stupid reason. I wanted it to be meaningless like I shouldn’t even have to say anything for her to just know to drop it - but that wasn’t the life I lived.
She would tell Dad, and my life wouldn’t be the same.
“I’m not a virgin,” I said, trying to make myself sound like I was embarrassed when I said that. She already knew I wasn’t, but it seemed smarter to pretend I had no clue rather than just asking her what she meant by that.
When I turned around, my mother had her eyes clothes as she looked utterly disgusted. “I’m aware,” she said. “Are you being safe?”684Please respect copyright.PENANAqI8aOObFNo
She thinks...oh. I nodded. “Yeah,” I told her. She nodded before shaking her hands for a few seconds. Clearly, she was uncomfortable. “Sorry. That was probably too much information for you.”684Please respect copyright.PENANAFTEFueUKbj
“No.” Mom moved her hair to the side of her face. “I’m happy that you told me. But your father already let me know. But that isn’t what I meant, Ezra.”684Please respect copyright.PENANAmIJ5KCGSF7
Why can’t she let this go?
“What else could that mean, Mom?” I asked, rolling my eyes as if I was annoyed. When I looked down at my left hand, I realized that it was shaking badly. Putting my hands behind my back, I raised my eyebrows.
Mom opened her mouth before there was a knock on my door, and we both turned to face Dad.
When I saw my father standing in the doorway, he was wearing jeans and a grey shirt that showed the muscle and fat he had on his body. I always forget how similar I looked to Mom, the only similar facial expression we have are eye color - which makes me feel pretty self-conscious next to Delcan with his beautiful ones.
“Shouldn’t you be on a date or something, son?” Dad asked, his thin lips curling into a smile. I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.
“Taking a break,” I told him. Mom sighed, turning her face away from both of us as I continued talking. “Sometimes the ladies can be too much.”684Please respect copyright.PENANAw4yvSPWeAv
The ladies can be too much? Seriously?
Dad laughed, his deep voice seeming to fill the hallway. Mom still looked away from both of us, her dirty blonde hair shining in the light. “Tell me about it,” he said. I gave him a smile instead of asking the number one question I always wanted to. “Sarah.” Mom turned her head to look at him, her lips pressed in a thin line. “It’s 5:30. Why isn’t there food on the table?”684Please respect copyright.PENANAkdcvSk5WMu
“I was helping Ezra with his laundry,” she said, her voice sounding like a mouse.
Dad lifted his chin up as his jaw tightened. “He doesn’t need help. Go make me dinner,” he demanded.
I sat down on the bed as Mom put her hair behind her back, leaving my room without any questions asked. Dad watched the lower part of her as she walked away, making me cringe. I don’t think I could ever watch that without feeling my stomach twist and turn. Dad turned back to me when my mom had left the room. “Call up some lady friend soon,” he told me. “Stop wasting your time on that Haven girl.”684Please respect copyright.PENANAIdkBkJ0yoJ
Though I wanted to tackle him to the floor for saying that, I nodded without saying a word as he left my room, giving orders for what Mom should cook as if she was a maid we hired.
In the middle of the night, I realized that I still hadn’t texted Callie back, nor did I feel the need to. We never even talked too much in the first place, anyway, so it made no sense for me to have a meaningless conversation with her.
What I did do, though, was check up on Evvie.
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