Today is not a good one. Neither was yesterday. All I can hear is the frantic voice of my high school sweet heart trying to explain what just happened. My hand became sweaty and shaky the more she tried to explain. "I just got hit by another car" she explains. My heart dropped to my stomach as I kept wanting more details. "Are you okay?, Are you hurt? Is there any pain your feeling?" She's scared she says. Of course. I'm scared! We've been running this marathon for 9 years now. Two kids, a boy and a girl. Words can not begin to describe the importance of her life to me. She made me a better man that's no doubt. When you find someone who makes you better, you have to do everything in your power to keep them. 

Nevertheless, the down word spiral continues. This is the cherry on top since I lost my job or demoted is the correct term. Anyhow, this was all on me and I knew it. My crave and desire for marijuana pushed me to all this crap. All because I can't control myself. Or couldn't. See, things are going to change as I write it down. Marijuana is not my problem. It makes me happy. It makes me feel alive. But should it? Shouldn't I feel like that without marijuana. If i get to that point in my life where I can control my impulses and desires, I can later do as I please on my own time. TIME! My god I never knew how valuable time was!! Now I know. I need to make my time worth something. I always had a talent for writing and poetry. I will use this outlet to not only express what I feel but to also improve my life day by day. 

The Marathon Continues....