“Talk,” my brother James said. It sounded more like an order however. I took a deep breath.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYteGz3YdQd
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“Okay. So, as I told you, I wasn’t alone yesterday,” I begun.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwlxFbSHNL
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“Yes. And it wasn’t Alex. Right?” he looked at me. He still didn’t believe me. Or he just wanted to be sure.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6adfieAYIT
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“No James. It wasn’t Alex,” I assured him and already seemed to relax.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQVYt7mxHI
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“Then who it was?” he asked curious now. I winced; my mouth twisted as I frowned a bit. He chewed his food as he waited for me to answer.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2cO2VuFVu
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“It’s been going on for three weeks,” I begun “No one else knows yet and I would like to keep it that way for now.”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNV60BDuC1Z
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“Okay,” he frowned as he spoke slowly and took a sip of his drink.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgX2QnWGBsl
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“I was with Damien,” I said. James almost choked.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNnErCEgXd
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“As in the twin’s brother, Damien? Damien Simmons?” he asked; his eyes wide. Was that such a bad thing? Not a good first reaction.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBzZWv1ak0
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR93DEUYfMi
“Yes. Now stop repeating his name please,” I said, my voice small, as I took a bite of my food and looked rapidly around in case there was anyone I knew sitting within a hearing distance. James chuckled suddenly and I turned my eyes towards him.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ESvlwh9lO
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“It was about fucking time sis!” he smiled. I blinked. Huh? “You were head over heels for the guy for almost a century. It was about time you two got together.”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04ZyIKwli5
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“Fuck. Was it that obvious?” I winced. What if everyone else could tell I was in love with him? What if Max and Cleo noticed? Is this why my mom always making jokes about wanting him to marry me?439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7K8o9TnuQU
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“Well, yeah.” I frowned. “But don’t worry, you confused everyone when you started going out with Alex,” he narrowed his eyes as he said the name. My chest ached for a split of second but then my thoughts turned to Damien. “So, when are you planning on talking to Cleo and Max?”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQ0Mte4ykX
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I groaned in response. “I’m working on it. Damien is bugging me enough, you don’t have to be in on that too,” I narrowed my eyes at my brother.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjt005EQVaq
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With Christmas being only two weeks away, I was feeling more and more anxious. My first exams were near and I knew I had to talk to Cleo and Max. And I had to do it soon. The stress was overwhelming. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. It had to be done!439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKU6e76yxi
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy85KOG5F7c
Since I talked to James yesterday, I figured that it would be easier if I talked soon to the twins. I texted Max to go out for coffee with me when I knew Cleo was busy with Mike. As I was waiting for him, I was only sure for one thing; that Max could locate me from the door without even looking for me. My heart was bouncing so hard that I was pretty sure he would be able to hear it as soon as he stepped into the shop.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGq3bplMWGX
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I greeted him with a smile when he sat down next to me and asked him what he would like to drink. I offered to get our drinks just to calm myself down. I returned to our table five minutes later.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoY4bkNaTl
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“Dude, stop fidgeting. What’s wrong?” he frowned. I was so transparent sometimes.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObfsnScr7C
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“I need to talk to you about something,” I mumbled.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamTE45uWYL
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“Sure,” he nodded.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbOsSbo60Y
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“Please don’t freak out on me cause I need you,” I winced and looked at him.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3OpG2Ukv2
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“Are you back with Alex?” he frowned.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEv1Y33wlu
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“What is wrong with you people? Why would I do that?” I exclaimed.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROPHiOI5fU
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“Okay okay,” he raised his palms up in defense “Now I know it’s not that, I’m all ears,” he said.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiKwohiFSe
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“I’ve been seeing this guy…” I began.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qvrrjz0Jw
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ088acxcIZ
“What? Who?” Max interrupted; a wide smile on his face. In my strange state of my mind I could almost relate him to The Joker. I shook my head to get out of the paranoia.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfAVq19Qjd
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“Let me finish,” I looked at him and took a deep breath. “I’ve been seeing this guy and I wanted to share this since the first day but I couldn’t.”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAkQJH8ikW
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLofVtEI75O
“Why not?” He frowned. I sighed. “What’s with you and all the secrecy? You never told anyone about Alex either,” he asked. Good point but I needed to get it out of my system.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrap8epop8o
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“I’m dating your brother,” I blurred out and waited for some loud response. Max blinked.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXpQagslFg
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“You and Damien,” he mumbled; his voice so low I could barely hear him. I felt dizzy. He took a sip of his coffee and looked back at me.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhp7LAUACOS
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“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Max frowned.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGTyiD0CX6
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“Why the fuck are you apologizing for?” he asked and I was puzzled “It was about fucking time you told him how you felt.”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqkQzxdArW
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“Um…okay,” I winced, trying to take in his reaction “He made the first move actually.”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAz0WYHspOB
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“Should have known. If he waited for you to make the first move, we would be having this conversation while having tea and our teeth would be in a glass of water on the table because we would be 74,” he mocked.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfadDwC0MyS
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“Max this is difficult. I haven’t told Cleo yet,” I got right to the point; the thing that hurt the most.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVwKUYfxmK
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“Why not?”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjG4PozOBBY
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“Because I’m scared of how she’ll take it. She probably won’t like it,” I confessed my fear and took a sip of my coffee.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6HmCxGnl6
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“She’s your best friend, I can’t see why she won’t be happy for you; especially after what happened with Alex,” he pointed out.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLblmyKPpxV
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooyUBes37T
“A few years back, she made some comments that made it clear to me that she didn’t want me telling Damien anything.” This was the first time I spoke about this to someone else.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2UeG9t3wN
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“I’m sure it was a misunderstanding. I can be there with you when you talk to her if you want,” he suggested.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUIvMSy06t
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“Thank you.” I really hoped that this would go well but no matter how much I hoped, a feeling I had didn’t make me very optimistic. I was way too nervous about it.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5THHfvVLyb
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I told Max on December 12 about Damien and me. I was planning on telling Cleo the next day but when I went for class that Monday, one of my classmates reminded me that we had a project due to Friday the 17th. After the first shock was over, the only thing I could think of was how to finish the project. Or start it actually.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jgP48Yekz
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I had to give away the full blue prints of a 140 square meters house; small project but not able to cover in a week. My hand searched for my mobile in my big bag and dialed Damien’s number.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V4wHW5D5S
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“Hey baby” he greeted me; my heart flattered. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to hearing Damien calling me baby.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRk2p8xqyc
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“Hey” I breathed.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Kk4ARbuQ2
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“What’s wrong?” he asked and I could hear the frown in his voice. I explained about the project and heard him chuckle.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9ngeQrwW7
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“It’s not funny you idiot. I’m never gonna make it,” I frowned and almost cried.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBg7qzVh9E
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“That’s why you need to thank your amazing man about this,” he said proudly.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMgVj5sb2U
I narrowed my eyes.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUCHbUuQu3
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“What do you want in exchange for your help?” I asked and he chuckled.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9VeSSM4QX
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“I’m at work right now, so I’ll get back on you about that, later,” he said and I could hear his smirk. I couldn’t get enough of him. I don’t think I will ever get used to his or believe that I’m with him.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiE2lXfMYD
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“Sure,” I smirked too “For real now, call me as soon as you get off work please. I’m heading home right now.”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCzjgxo8Q3
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“Okay ladybug, we’ll talk in about an hour then,” he told me and we hang up. Thank God he existed. Even if he wasn’t my boyfriend, I would still count on him for help but now it was even better.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEHw64bHp2
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Only thing to do besides my project was to talk to Cleo. I had to talk to Cleo.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0QGzp0FO2
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On my way out of the university I met some other friends and stayed for coffee with them. I ended up running towards my car because Damien texted me before calling me.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYuIMtw5tO
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“I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” he told me.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSka5l58Y6
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“I’m waiting for you,” I lied as I made a right turn to get out of the campus.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwZPsnZMlB
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“Liar,” he chuckled “I can hear your bug growling.”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBjy3BLQCV
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“Leave my bug out of this Simmons,” I said; my voice strict. He chuckled and told me goodbye.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ65skbtoPD
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Cleo had called me later that afternoon with a coffee invitation which I turned down due to the work it had to be done. I told her the truth; that I had called Damien for help because I had completely forgotten about the project.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOYPHBd7vx
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I didn’t pay much attention to her reaction because I couldn’t bear the extra stress to my day. It took me two days to completely finish the ground plan and only had two days to complete the project.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzA4Gho5qSA
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Damien had taken half of the work and was so pleased to help and seemed cheerful. Me on the other hand, I was going insane. I had to finish the blue prints and I had to talk to Cleo. Within the stress and the madness that consumed me I never neglected to appreciate Damien’s presence. I simply found it impossible not to steal quick glances.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUqDJHdKsC
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As I worked I could still see his long fingers as he held the pencil and occasionally a cigarette on his left hand and the T square with his right. His hair had grown longer since he returned home from Italy. I remember the first time I saw him again, his hair was cut short, laying messy on his forehead. Now that they were longer, he was parting them on the left and pulled them away from his face. Most of the times, he would caught me staring at him and caused me to blush. What a wonderful feeling.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVeSnZwJ4P
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“Fuck this,” I exclaimed and threw my pencil on the table. I pushed the chair back and got up. I turned the volume of the speakers up and let the music fill the room. I needed to calm down.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0fzh2h6Lq
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I stood there for a second; my palms covering my eyes trying to relax before I walked towards my bed. I threw myself backwards on the mattress and concentrated on the music. As soon as the song changed, Damien crawled on top of me. Neither of us talked; he just parted my legs and placed himself between them. My heart flattered every time.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSqLtTJfUy
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His left elbow was against the mattress and his right hand was griping my left thigh tightly. I put my right hand on his lower back, underneath his grey t-shirt, while the other messed his hair on the back of his head as his lips moved against mine.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinNHpzgih9
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I moved my hand from his back and put it against the waistband of his jeans, between us. He slightly moved his hips upwards but instead of letting me unbutton his jeans, he took my hand and pinned it on the mattress above my head. I groaned in irritation and he smirked while moved my other hand above my hand as well.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz838N0wdC0
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“You’re not helping,” I groaned as his lips touched my neck.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoA1OJQMBz
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“We’re not going to have sex,” he whispered against my skin.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHXHCn5uBF
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“Why not?” I asked “I want you, you want me,” I tried to reason him while pushing my hipbones upwards towards his pelvis “We’re lying on a bed and you’re kissing me,” I whispered seductively. Maybe if I turned him on enough, he would give in.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIfScaw3vu
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“I see right through you ladybug and it’s not going to work,” he smirked and sat up.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hxWToPhYE
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“Where are you going?” I asked and rested my weight on my elbows against the bed.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3yfskGK0l
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“We’re going to work,” he said strictly. His tone suggested that he wasn’t taking no for an answer. Not even my father sounded like that! I groaned and got up from the bed as he turned the music down. I walked to the table and sat down on my chair.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zOB0d6ysN
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7T5HogCAM
“Are you going to stay with me tonight?” I pouted.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPGgTX1Hu2
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“Nope,” he said as he drew a line with the pencil. I narrowed my eyes at him.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8Zs1xYktv
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNnvHsZ37x
“Is this happening because I made you help me?” I asked; my eyes still narrowed. Damien turned to look at me and smiled. I groaned in response of his confirmation and he chuckled.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3qaZCWLq3
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“Do not push your luck Simmons,” I threatened.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtKoyuSyLJ
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“Oh!” he snorted “Why?” he smirked and lid a cigarette.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfYnCwIPgt
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpupD8QR5E
“Because I’ll win in the end,” I smirked back and got up. I walked to the fridge and got a soda. I returned to my seat without paying attention to him.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrW2bb6LbJ
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0d5ZRJVCyA
“I’ve known you since the dinosaurs’ ages,” he chuckled “You’ve never won against me!” he smirked and released the smoke he inhaled just a few seconds earlier. I licked my lips and stretched one of my feet forward. I placed it between his parted legs on his chair.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nGR6LWm1T
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqVtINsZvr
“We weren’t having sex before,” I pointed out and stroked his inner thigh with my foot; a wicked smile appeared on my lips. He narrowed his eyes and caught my foot. Thank God it was winter and I was wearing socks; otherwise I would be on the floor laughing.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRfbIvXPiX
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As I bit my lip, a grin on my face, someone knocked the door. He smiled and pushed my foot down.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVsNTfawzJ
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“Coming,” I yelled to the door and got up. I walked to Damien and he turned towards me a little surprised. “Saved by the bell,” I grinned as he put his palm against my waist and I kissed his lips lightly before walking to the door.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFet24qqzM
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnle6iuWPe
“Hello kids,” Max said when I opened the door. “Good, you’re not having sex.” I frowned at him as he walked past me. I heard Damien choking on his own smoke.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nB2NN5FFB
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“Oh yeah, I talked to Max,” I winced at Damien.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPVBGJXhdh
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“Thanks for sharing baby,” he grinned sarcastically.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2urSYBsUny
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“Cleo is on her way by the way,” Max said at the same time as he sat down on the couch.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkegCwNPlV
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“I totally forgot. I got the news about the project, freaked out and forgot to tell you,” I slid a small smile at Damien right when someone knocked on the door again; Cleo as I assumed.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Lo4yna2oD
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“Hey babe,” I smiled at her as I stepped aside.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wuDNeN4jK
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“Hello. How’re you doing?” she asked as she walked past me and waved at her brothers.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKxCrbJ7mb
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“I’m about to die from stress, thank you,” I smiled “You?”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGvPSxJfIR
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“I broke up with Mike,” she said as she sat down next to Max.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9E6tSKrqef
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“What? Why?” I asked as I followed her and sat on the table across from her.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOx6uX87aC
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“He just said he wanted some time apart. He couldn’t handle exams and me together,” she said; her voice low.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10wmuY5boZ
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“Oh,” I breathed and put my hands over hers.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDihohOuTRS
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“Fuck him,” Max said and leaned back on the sofa.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11sNhX1R56
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“Want me to be brutal honest little sis?” Damien spoke.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmu2yefevTz
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“No!” I spoke before anyone else. “Be honest on Friday. Now it will only hurt,” I told Damien and then turned to Cleo again. “You have two and a half days to cry your eyes out and crawl under your covers. Friday night, after I give away my project, we’ll go out and drink to forget! Okay sweety?”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK9zAQtHyZ
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“Okay,” she breathed. “I’m gonna go home now,” she said and got up.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VUloB2HZv
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“Okay,” I told her and followed her once again.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzW0Va5bfv
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“I’m right behind you,” Max called after her.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCa491fjImK
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“Fuck!” I whispered and as I rubbed my forehead.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqbQtDf4mL
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“You can tell her Friday night,” Max told me and gave me a friendly nudge on the shoulder as he walked pass me. Damn.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyYPeanJzI
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“See ya, bro,” I heard him saying at Damien. I sat down on the nearest furniture; my bed. Why does the universe hates me so much? Why this task was so hard? I sighed and leaned forward; resting my head into my palms. I heard Damien getting up once again; his footsteps getting closer.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvh8X2zzvW
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“Why is this so hard? I don’t understand,” he asked as he sat down next to me. I rubbed my forehead without turning towards him. How can I explain this to him without revealing too much? I don’t think I was ready to reveal the true volume of my feelings just yet.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RQ1ObVCDl
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“A few years back, on your 21st birthday to be exact,” I begun “I remember that you were teasing me in your kitchen,” I raised my eyebrows as it was such a common thing for him to tease me. He chuckled at the same time. “When I left the kitchen and returned to where Cleo was, with a friend of yours. That girl asked Cleo if I was your girlfriend,” at that point I noticed that Damien grinned but didn’t comment. “And Cleo almost exclaimed her negation.”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZts5402nv
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Damien had his left hand under his chin and looking at me. I guessed he was trying to understand why that affected me so much.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVC8C6Vpk4
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“If she didn’t like the idea, back then, I can’t see why she will like it now,” I explained. I didn’t want him to realize that that comment had affected me more that I let on. I always thought that I wasn’t good enough for him; not pretty enough; not smart enough. But Cleo’s reaction that night simply assured those fears.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5QtTHJXXj
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“You’re giving this a lot more thought than necessary, baby,” he said and put his palm against my knee. “You were just 14-15 then. A lot have changed.”439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaEELQkNNF
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“I guess,” I mumbled. I really wasn’t ready to tell him everything that crossed my mind. Not yet at least. “Come on, got work to do,” I told him and got up.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfH6FINSPnX
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He caught me from behind and put his arm around my neck; his palm resting on my opposite shoulder as he leaned to the side of my face. His other arm found its way around my waist.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bS2SSvpGd
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“Don’t worry,” he whispered. I wanted to tell him that I love him. I wanted to say it so bad. I exhaled loudly and turned around in his grip. As soon as I put my arms around his waist his grip tightened. I closed my eyes as I rested my forehead against his chest.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNH8BAUyOVh
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It was unbearable how much I loved this man.439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMNAKQRFaC
♠ ♠ ♠
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Breathe Today by Flyleaf
