I woke up at eleven in the morning, had breakfast and left for home. The drive back was easier, mostly because I was so excited to see Damien after three days.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkg2kO6QWU
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I was planning on going home, do laundry and find Cleo. I wanted to try and talk to her one more time. We were best friends since we were babies, her opinion meant the world to me and I wanted to be clear about that; even if she haven’t contacted me at all since I left town.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdIRPTZK8e
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As soon as I arrived I went towards my parents kitchen; not even bothering going into my garage.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpqNmErysG
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“Hello,” I greeted my mom as I entered the kitchen from the back door.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpwxkyj3Wy
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“Welcome home baby,” mom replied “How are you?”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsoKzd3Fsx
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“Fine, you?” I smiled and left my bag on the floor.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdS101Vr8nU
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“Got dirty clothes?”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0e8uc7iqy
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“Yup,” I grinned “Why aren’t you at the office?”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTArv0ivEUN
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“Have to visit a client in a bit,” she explained and narrowed her eyes when she noticed I was smiling at her. “Don’t look at me like that, do laundry yourself.”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6OF3BjaBy
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“Fine,” I groaned and I retrieved my bag before walking towards her. I kissed her cheek as I passed her by and exited the kitchen. I turned right and entered the laundry room. I left the bag on the ground once again and took my mobile out of my back pocket. I dialed Damien’s number and put it on speaker phone. His phone was disconnected. I put the phone back into my pocket thinking he must be at work.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4J71abZWt
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After putting all my clothes into the washing machine I sat in the kitchen with my mom until she left for work. I tried calling Damien again and like earlier his phone was disconnected. I sat into my parent’s living room to watch some television, though I should probably be into my garage and try and study.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAylQWflGmo
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I dialed Max’s number and put the phone on speaker. It took three rings before he picked up.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgERfmsV5GF
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“Hey,” he breathed, sounding weird.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynrYNPF3uc
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“Hello to you too,” I frowned a little bit “Are you okay?” I asked referring to his weird greeting.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJs34R1aNl9
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“I’m okay, how are you?” he asked, still sounding weird.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQ8ixv21rx
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“Fine,” I replied “Where are you? I’m home!” I smiled. He didn’t reply for a moment.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAKo2bRMPl
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“Fuck,” he mumbled “Dude, I’m gonna have to call you back,” he said; the word rushing out of his mouth.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsbmolljnd
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“Okay, don’t be late because I’m so bored!” I replied and hung up. I wanted to call Cleo but something stopped me. So I texted her instead. “I’m back home, if you want a coffee.” I remained on that couch until three o’clock in the afternoon when Max finally called me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWqXsDr3eN
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“Hey, “ he breathed “Offer still stands?” he asked.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6dP98Hoab
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“Of course,” I replied “Come over!”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhnKbTOn6q
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Max turned up soon afterwards. He said Cleo was trying to finish a project that she working on since I left. She was trying to keep herself occupied as I understood.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesD0c1Oqnu
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He told me she had a date with Mike two nights ago and that she looked very optimistic. It looked like Max was trying to avoid mentioning Damien, so I left it at that, doing the very same thing but not really understanding the reason.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBWi2ZgKWH
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About an hour later, that I still haven’t heard from Damien, my mom returned home. I refused to cook for myself because I was cooking the whole time I was living with James, so her arrival made me extra happy.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ325mF4EEvB
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I was sitting with Max in the kitchen sofa playing cards until the food was ready. Thankfully mom had prepared the meat and now I only had to wait half an hour until it was grilled. At some point I heard mom talking on the phone, telling someone to bring a soda for us. A while later Evita, the twin’s mother, walked through the kitchen door.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmtl6mn4p1
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“Hello guys,” she greeted us “Welcome Erica.”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVA13cyZzZ
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“Hello Aunt,” I smiled and got up to take the soda that she put on the kitchen counter. “How are you?” I smiled.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVtEJ6cw7n
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“Here,” my mom said at the same time and left some money on the counter.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovo0INUnvW
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“Don’t even think about it,” Evita replied to her. “I’m still trying to digest the fact that my baby left again,” she sighed.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi5sDrIVsY
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“Which baby left?” I frowned with a half smile as I walked towards the cupboard with the glasses. Max was here. Cleo was at home. That only left one person that could leave…403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVUJYIp2Ku
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“Damien,” and a deep sigh escaped her chest the same time the realization hit me. My heart fell. I blinked; staring at the shelves. My chest started going up and down quickly as my heartbeat increased. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took one glass in my hands.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLpaqj5UaI
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“Wasn’t he supposed to leave in two weeks?” I asked trying to sound as casual as possible. I took another glass out of the cupboard and opened up the soda bottle.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9EXs73jJw
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“Yeah,” Evita said “But he said he got a call this morning at work from some friends and he’s meeting them in Rome before going in Tuscany,” she explained. I felt a strong pain in my chest as I tried to keep the tears back.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU89moTCsR
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“That’s nice,” I noted and put the soda into the fridge; never turning my head towards Evita or my mom. I wanted to keep my expression hidden because I didn’t even know how I looked like.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ESsBenK7b
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“You kids should go and visit, using those tickets he got you for your birthday,” she suggested as I was walking towards Max.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7lkAZzste
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“Maybe after their exams,” my mom spoke. I put the soda on the table in front of Max, never looking at him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLeO15PS67
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“Yeah, after the exams,” I replied and sat down with my back towards the kitchen. I didn’t care if Max saw me crying, but I didn’t want Evita to see me. I took a deep breath and focused on my cards.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JO092VBSn
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“Your turn,” I said to Max. He didn’t move for a moment.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccjbcpVwal
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“Yeah,” he breathed after a while and put a card down. I sipped my soda and took a deep breath. I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. We haven’t even finished the game when I grabbed it from the table and dialed Damien’s number.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfC5vEGwCb
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Nothing. His phone was disconnected. My breathing started to increase and I leaned forward, touching my elbows on my knees, as I tried to calm myself down. “Why would he leave like that? Things were fine last night” I was thinking over and over again.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzjoKuOiix
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My mom approached us then, holding two plates with grilled chicken and left them on the table. I thanked her, not really talking, and pulled the plate in front of me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSIB3GVpF4
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Max closed the door behind us as we walked into the renovated garage. I took small steps towards the bed and sat down; my chest aching.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZ1sBoITCZ
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“Did he…” I breathed “Did he really left?” I frowned looking at Max for the first time.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIRkm7VWT1
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“Fuck,” he mumbled and leaned against the door “You didn’t know. He said everything’s okay,” Max frowned.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSQfpIef84
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“When did he say that?” I asked; my voice fainted.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHm5ELJY1Yk
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“He woke me up this morning,” Max breathed and took a step from the door “And said he’s leaving. I asked where he’s going because I got confused because I knew he went into the office this morning and he said that he got a call from a friend and that he’s meeting his old buddies in Rome before going up to Tuscany,” Max explained like he knew I needed to hear the story one more time.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlhOk5NnOo
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He walked towards me as he spoke again “I followed him to the door and I asked if you knew about this,” he said and finally sat down beside me. I swallowed. “He said “everything’s okay kid”, hugged me, hugged Cleo and left,” he breathed.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eh3l41fAc
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I couldn’t speak. Everything was fine last night. He was excited that I was finally coming back home. What could possibly change overnight? Or if nothing changed, and everything was okay why he left without calling or texting? Or at least answering his phone?403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCCtVeDuTA
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“I…” I stuttered “We spoke last night…” I breathed. “I don’t understand,” I whispered and pulled back on the bed, pulling my legs against my chest. Max turned towards me and put his hand on my ankle; stroking my skin with his thumb.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4psvgefKBY
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“I’ll talk to him. He’ll call sooner or later,” he said.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmrUqcG9pp
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“No, no,” I rapidly shook my head.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2de72qs3og
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“Why not?” Max frowned.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZkjHfSR7Z
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“Don’t get involved please,” I shook my head again but slowly this time.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10EB8EmJU8
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“I wanna know too,” he blinked.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufmYkAxDbx
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“Please don’t. For the past two months I’ve been trying to keep this casual, like I wasn’t dating your brother. You getting involved will cancel all that out,” I explained.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxeS0J0IS1
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The truth was that I was afraid. I didn’t want him to feel pressure about anything. If his brother got involved he would probably feel pressured and that would pushed him further away from me. If it was possible to be further apart.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GbNZ0RUP9
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I should have left. I should have taken the chance to go away for university. Then none of this would have happened. Even if I have taken up on Alex’s offer. I wouldn’t have stayed and Alex wouldn’t have broken my heart and most importantly I wouldn’t be around to fall in love with Damien once again.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0RSsHnFih
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It hurt so badly. What I was feeling now was nothing compared to how I felt when Alex cheated or when we broke up. My heart was shuttered into a million little pieces inside my chest and everytime I had a thought of him it was like those little pieces cut through my flesh; burning my insides and killing me even more in the process.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBSO5zl8BE
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I even made my mother cry when she came to check on me that day. And it hurt more. I was avoiding the mirrors because I didn’t want to see how I looked like. The way I felt was enough.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTucQ6b6qT
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There were moments that I couldn’t understand why he would leave like this. Moments that I was going insane, running our last conversations over and over and over again into my mind trying to find what went wrong. And I would pick up the phone and dial his number.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5Dnd7SZJM
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He never answered; even if the phone was now working, two days after he left. And why would he? We didn’t belong together. I wasn’t enough. Why would he stay with me? It was a miracle we even had those two months together. I should be happy I had those two months. I should be happy I got to taste his bittersweet lips, stare into his mesmerizing grey eyes. Deep down I was glad I never got to tell him how I really felt because he would probably laugh.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOq6kGyw8Uz
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But what about all those times he held me into his arms and stared into my eyes? The times when he wanted me to say I was his. Why would he do that if he never cared? Or when he assured me that he would never cheat on me. Why would he do that? He knew I hated big words. He knew I hated promises and yet he would say those things.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIxRC3bxCZ
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Every time the phone rang my heart fluttered. But it was never him and the soft pain in my chest returned again. Max was calling regularly to check on me; trying to get me out of the house. Cleo had texted me, asking if I was okay but I wasn’t ready for her or the outside world yet.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerG6qWe6mT
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Only the third day I got up from the bed and opened my laptop, trying to slowly have a connection with the outside world. Yesterday and the day before that my mother came home from work to cook and bring me food; that only made me feel more pathetic but I never argued.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6bVnZPXr8
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After I was done eating and I was ready to sit on the couch and ignore the world around me, including my examinations, my phone rang. My heart fluttered but fell when I saw that it wasn’t him. It was Alex. I had completely forgotten about him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseCW2GRnKi
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“Hello,” I answered; my voice completely lifeless.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusbKw8c66a
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“Hello,” he said slowly and I could hear the frown on his features “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding anxious. I breathed sharply.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3kJP8X6i6
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“Yes,” I lied automatically.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4tWoYBGct
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“I thought that by now you’d know better than to lie to me, love,” he said softly.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWFW34xQh7
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“I’m not in the mood Alex,” I replied; the impatience coloring my voice.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EwX9j2ugS
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“I’m coming to pick you up,” he said but by the time I refused he had already hung up the phone.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIefxnSr4Fp
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He arrived sooner than expected; right when I was done getting ready. Not that I made an effort. I just put on a pair of jeans and a simple black top. Thankfully it was daytime and I could hide my red puffy eyes under my black sunglasses.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtIzqgxmzZ
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I greeted him heartlessly as I sat beside him in the black Aston Martin. He breathed a greeting back and never spoke again until we were at the mansion.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9r3reqRk5A
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“When did you arrived?” I asked as we got out of the car.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Xf5VswZeD
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“This morning,” he replied as he walked beside me towards the double doors of the entrance. “How did you know?” he smiled.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfpMF2T5VK
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“You came too fast,” I made an attempt to smile but failed. Smiling felt strange. He looked at me for a moment and then turned around, opening the door and walked inside.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6y8qYzvoH
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I never thought that I could talk to Alex so freely about what I felt. Maybe it was because when we were together it was the only thing I never wanted to do. But I didn’t care anymore. I knew he wouldn’t judge me for having feelings for Damien.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1SfHhqMEq
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When, at some point, I burst into tears he pulled me into his arms and held me there. And as he kept me I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have talk to him at all. Three days ago our positions were reversed, maybe it was selfish talking to him; after all he had his own problems to deal with. I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78aaXg6Obb
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“Are you okay?” he asked softly.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13frqd8XM7
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“I’m better, thank you,” I swallowed and pushed my fist against my chest, trying to ease the pain. “How are you?” I looked at him, trying to keep my mind occupied. I saw him looking at my hand that was against my chest before looking at my eyes.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfybhAJk67R
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“I’m better too,” he smiled.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFxmFVxE7g
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“Have you gone to the cemetery?” I asked. He turned forward and looked at the floor, brushing his face with his fingers.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw5WCWTSqn
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“No.”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMbuGw5dkE
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“We’re gonna go together,” I told him “I’ll be there with you,” I assured him. He breathed and nodded. “What about your father? Have you talked to him?”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyizZTyDdIo
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“No,” he said his expression hardening “My father and I don’t talk.”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQCC3d1LqC
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“Well, he’ll notice when you’re better and everything will be okay,” I told him and took his hand in mine. He turned towards me and looked at me; his brown eyes liquid.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUvn9MZuEo
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“I admire you for being able to do that,” he mumbled.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb47xPBlfLZ
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“Do what?” I blinked.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3ORSpMUhx
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“Be so strong.”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewrw7ggzyB
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“There’s no strength left in me,” I whispered, shaking my head lightly and looked at the floor.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZDCrC2Nb2
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“Hey,” he said and searched for my eyes. I turned to look at him before he spoke again. “You’ll get over this,” he said sounding confident.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V1WX7iaod
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“I can’t,” I winced and my tears betrayed me once again. I turned my head away from him and tried to wipe the tears away.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcE4mTIxJaA
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“Come here,” I heard him saying right before he pulled me to his arms again. He put his palm against the side of my head as my cheek was laying against his collar bone. “Calm down,” he whispered and a déjà vu hit me; Damien holding me as I was crying over Alex. I pulled away abruptly from him as my breathing fastened and the pain in my chest hardened.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1M4GhAZDBR
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“I’m sorry,” I breathed. Alex looked at me shocked.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1bMicDM3D
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“What?” he asked confused “About what?” he frowned and I got up.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFtY3mPh92
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“It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault,” I mumbled as the air filled my lungs quickly; my chest going up and down rapidly. “Four months ago he was the one holding me,” I begun talking quickly and started hyperventilating “As I was crying over you. Now it’s happening again but in reverse. It’s me. I keep doing this,” I rambled, tears oozing from eyes.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANkR1n7DiD
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I was doing this. Alex was never the right guy for me and maybe neither was Damien. Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad, because I wanted him to be that guy so bad. My chest was going up and down quickly and aching. I didn’t noticed Alex moving, until he was standing in front of me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJK7KFxkt2
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“Erica, calm down,” he said, putting his palms against my cheeks and looking at me. I bit my bottom lip trying to calm down with no success. Everything was great before he kissed me that day in the swimming pool for the first time. Why would he do that? I was fine before. I was fine just imagining that kiss, imagining him looking into my eyes with care. I was fine before.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQOW3x7Cx3
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But I was glad I lived it. Grateful that I was free to caress his beautiful face and that I saw the way he looked and smelled after sex. I was thankful even if now my insides were aching and burning like a demon’s flesh that’s being touched by holy water. I breathed out a whimper and put my palm against the center of my chest.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXovfKl13z8
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“It’s the same thing isn’t?” he asked; looking at me. I just stared at him. “Let’s go,” he said and grabbed my hand.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFtRTnvAwr
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“Where?” I asked breathlessly.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPsXMiRotd
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“To the hospital,” he said; his voice colored with his intimidating tone.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TKlp6xM5l
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The ride towards the hospital helped a little bit, mostly because Alex had my window wide open. If I cared the slightest about myself at that point, I would be worried about getting pneumonia.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRXNIzQ0wF
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At some point I heard him talking on the phone to one or two people but I didn’t pay attention. I was just glad that he didn’t know the twins or my parent’s number. Or at least I hoped he didn’t. I was too lost in my trance to worry about that. My mind was spinning and I had lain back enjoying the ride.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3uG8NNPy8
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Only when we walked into the Emergency Room I became aware of what was really happening. The pain in my chest wasn’t so bad anymore but I still felt something. Maybe it was my heart that was ripped out.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRdjRI3JVn
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I guessed that the phone calls that Alex made as he drove me to the hospital were to a doctor because we didn’t have to wait at all. A doctor led the way towards one of the beds and told me to sit down. When he asked how I felt I was very tempted to say that it felt like I was hit by a truck but I thought it would be better to avoid my bitter humor.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg93R3kAte
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“Does it still hurt?” he asked as he took my pressure. Alex was standing on the end of the bed, his one arm against his chest and the other over it as his fingers were tracing his mouth; the whole time staring at me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFShZBqTel
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“No,” I replied “But it tickles,” I frowned not sure if that was the right word to describe the feeling.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NS8hlK0cS
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“Mr. White, can you please pull the curtains close?” he asked Alex and then turned towards me. “Lift your shirt please, I need to listen to your heart,” he told me. I nodded not even thinking that Alex was there.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWwQvRkAYf
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“Do you want me to …” Alex told me, pointing outside. I shook my head politely. It wasn’t like he would see anything he hasn’t seen before. That thought brought a scoff to my lips that I chocked as the doctor place the stethoscope to my chest and then my heart rate increased again.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6s6cO7t5p0
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“Take another deep breath please,” he told me and I noticed a light frown. My sight blurred for a moment but then I controlled myself and did what the doctor asked. “Okay, turn around,” he asked and I turned towards Alex; my top still upwards. I blinked to control the tears and gave a weak smile to Alex. “Okay,” the doctor exhaled and removed the stethoscope. I pulled down my top and turned towards him again.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ln9kbDQGL
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“You just had an anxiety attack,” he looked at me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkkJYn1fK5
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“But I’m not anxious about anything,” I frowned. I didn’t give damn about my classes at this point.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRufTLk5l0
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“From your symptoms, pounding heart, shortness of breath, hyperventilation and insomnia I can come up with one answer and that is anxiety attack,” he begun. “But I can say that grieving can also be a cause. Grieving is a powerful emotion that can have physical effects on our autonomic system and can even cause arrhythmias or bursting of weakened blood vessels,” the doctor explained. I wasn’t surprised he thought of “grief”; my red eyes were one of my symptoms.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKf87YPwlP
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“Oh,” was all I managed to say. “What can I do?” I asked.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmfh5sB9X1
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“Because this have happened again in the past, I’m going to prescribe something to just calm you down,” he said.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtR9nLhCxl
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“Anti-depression drugs?” Alex asked.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAT3szGjyy
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“What?” I frowned “No,” I turned towards the doctor as I realized what drugs he meant. “I have my exams to study for,”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWM4cE3HEK
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“Alright, take one before you go to sleep for two nights in the row. It will help you sleep and rest. Then take them if you start having any symptoms again, okay?” the doctor smiled and wrote something on a paper and left it. “Though I don’t think it will happen again soon.”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELiJfCV43M
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“Thank you Dr. Wallace,” Alex said as I nodded. The doctor smiled at him and shook his hand before leaving us alone. I exhaled deeply and got up from the bed. Alex walked next to me, his hand on the back of my waist as we exited the hospital.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrCtJM5T1l
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“That was interesting,” I smiled as approached the car. “Many people have been dumped before but how many were they diagnosed?” I laughed.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuvIOHFvAb
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“I need to know that you’ll be okay,” Alex told me as he sat opened the passengers door for me.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSo12U8k3XE
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“I’ll try,” I mumbled.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxpYNXpwLB
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The next two days I did sleep well thanks to the drugs the doctor gave me but the third night was as the same as the first night I learned Damien left. I tossed and turned, curling up into a ball. I tried to avoid taking a pill again because I’ve heard that you can get addicted to anti-depressing’s.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlNm3Ug8KB
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I wanted to hear his voice so bad; to hear that everything was okay. And I made the mistake to pick up my phone and call him; because this time he picked up. My heart almost exploded.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzyOQGNdwY
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“What?” he asked so abruptly that made my heart shutter into a million pieces.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwMKClzVSX
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“Hi,” I breathed.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94eIbVeBrc
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“What the hell Erica?” he asked. I never thought it would hurt this bad to hear him calling my name “It’s four o’clock in the morning!” he replied; his tone cold and distant.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMliEQfyoOE
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“I’m sorry,” I whispered “I just needed to hear your voice,” I swallowed hard.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCZQ9gG7G6
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“So what?”he breathed out. He sounded like he was struggling too but it still hurt so badly. Tears filled my eyes and I hung up the phone before throwing it at the end of the bed. I wasn’t ready for this. I fell against my pillow, covering my face and smothered the sound of my sobs.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j6kulEi59
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And that’s when it happened again; the pounding pain returned to my chest. I sat up trying to calm down and looked at my phone, thought of calling Alex but I didn’t want to wake him up. So I stood up and walked into the shower. But again, tears came out of nowhere. I couldn’t calm myself down. I wrapped my towel around my body, between sobs, and walked into the room again.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQAhR85dSK
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“Yes?” Alex answered his phone sleepily.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoNcZoelsM
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“I’m sorry,” I said softly “I…” I trailed. And that’s when Alex must have realized it was me on the phone.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGqyLsNV5A
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“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7FxC2qEkl
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“I don’t know,” I whispered but my breathing was still quick.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcd2gvHu8bv
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“It happened again?”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQIf8OWdlb
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“Yes,” I breathed.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rw9QC5dY3
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“Get dressed.” He said and hung up the phone; not even giving me the chance to argue with him.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgp6eYR7L7U
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This time the doctor that examined me thought it was best to keep me in. He said that it was suspicious for a girl my age to get those episodes so regularly. I tried to delay notifying my mother as much as possible as I didn’t want to scare her. I was lying in a bed, with stickers against my chest and my heart beat was beeping through a machine for the entire room to hear.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0P1LXPWFjN
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“You need to call your mother,” Alex said from the foot of the bed. I studied him for a moment and noticed that I never saw him dressed so casual and I frowned.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgq12YBMBlH
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“You’re not wearing a button up shirt,” I stated. He chuckled and shook his head.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjS8PcdNgHC
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“Yeah, sorry,” he smiled “I didn’t have time for a formal outfit,” he mocked.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyX9hXZn7Y
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“Thank you for coming,” I smiled at him. He looked at me for a moment and then sat down at the end of the bed; exhaling deeply.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIEoJoG6YZ
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“Three days ago, when you’re having that episode, you said something,” he begun “You said that you keep doing this to yourself,” he said. I felt uncomfortable and the beeping sound on the machine picked up. He looked at the machine for a second and then took my hand in his. I swallowed waiting to hear what he would say next. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he sighed.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQVkT85KcZ
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“What? You’ve lost me,” I frowned.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlo0F2HO3XQ
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“If we haven’t met that night, you wouldn’t be in here now,” he explained but I was still lost.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRpvTbUQkM
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“Alex, what are you talking about?”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEAl22IzUT
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“I’ve been thinking about this since that night at the club you had the first episode,” he explained and that’s when I realized what he was talking about. That night when we were out together after the second time we got together. I couldn’t breathe inside the club and accidentally told him this was happening often since he left.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbKOFYGIsS
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“Oh my God,” I frowned “This isn’t your fault,” I breathed and tried to sit up.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cINm1mgC6
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“Stay down,” he said and stopped me from getting up “This is my fault. I damaged you so badly and he…” he trailed. The thought of Damien brought a sharp pain into my chest that made me ignore what he said.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN0keys4pF
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“He broke me,” I smiled a humorless smile; the machine giving me in. Alex looked towards it and stood up.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlywMwBxYDv
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“Damn it, I shouldn’t have brought this up now,” he frowned. “Here,” he said and gave me my phone “Call your mother. It’s seven a.m.”403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4NiI8GHoB
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I looked at him and sighed. It was best to hear it from me that I was in the hospital; to see that it wasn’t anything serious. Or at least I hoped it wasn’t.403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUauIkFmai
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Conjure One - Tears From the Moon403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMcIAIkFRV
