I couldn’t help but feel insecure again. I should be out of my mind with happiness. And I was. But a little piece of my mind was having other thoughts; thoughts that were causing me to doubt and feel scared. Again.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84APNjLSmG
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Damien once promised me that he’ll never leave. Actually no. He didn’t promise that. He promised not to cheat on me. Then I guess the fact that he left me five months ago was different. He didn’t break a promise. But he did break my heart.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmE5dpCR6mt
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A heart that I thought was healed in Italy when he told me he loved me for the first time. But a part of me was still suspicious. Then again, maybe there wasn’t a way to completely feel secure in a relationship. I knew that sometimes he could see right through me, read the fear in my eyes, because he would assure me that he loves me as soon as he noticed the slightest change in me.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6koQjWxu8
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But now it was a different fear. Damien was clear about his feelings from the start. I was the one holding back, too afraid to show him how much I really love him and that made him feel insecure. I could tell because everytime I mentioned Alex, his eyes would change and he felt the need to hear how I felt about him.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qdWdZoSri
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Now, I was scared that he asked me to marry him because he felt insecure. But we were both clear on our views on the matter; “If a person wants to cheat, it will happen; married or not”. So I doubt that marrying me would make him feel safe and secure.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEQIpVP47T
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So what was it? Why I couldn’t just let go and be happy? I needed another opinion. I knew that Damien was Cleo’s brother but she was also my best friend. Thankfully, after we made up, she didn’t seem to have a problem with my relationship with him.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6mTQMM4IK
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“Where are you?” I asked Cleo on the phone.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFohx3dfaiB
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“Home, what’s up?” she asked.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaX9yORP0k
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“Oh, good. I need to see you. Can I pick you up in a while? Some shopping is in order,” I replied.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGG8ZaqmNMx
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Half an hour later, we were inside our favorite store, walking around and looking at clothes.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8lotBSUth
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“So, Damien is being weird,” I said.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdNxjP15CV
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“Weird? Already?” she chuckled “Have you even had time to talk? I bet you were only having sex since last night,” she mocked.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp0UCcc02Q
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“That can’t stop someone from talking!” I raised my eyebrows and smirked.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJryqGeank
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“Dear Lord,” she winced.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvc6teBLonz
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“What if he just feels insecure that I’m over here without him when he’s away in Italy?” I asked out of the blue. “What if he changes his mind when he gets back?”525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1leEsg4KGa
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“I’m confused,” she let down a top she was holding and turned towards me.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBm4PolB8bD
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“He asked me to marry him,” I explained. I couldn’t fight back the smile.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENzFxJmFXq
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“What?” she asked so loudly and thrilled that some girls turned to look at us. I looked around me sideways and then back at her; a wide smile on her face. “Why aren’t you thrilled?” she narrowed her eyes.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFpuGdzEw6
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“I told you. What if he asked me to marry him because he’s just feeling insecure? He was always clear about his feelings towards me and I was always afraid to tell him.”525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQFkMxR44c
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“I thought, after Italy, everything was great. I thought everything was out in the open,” she asked.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5jefsPbBW
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“And you’re right. But what if he still feels like I’m holding back?” I asked; my fingers fidgeting.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknFC1iDynr
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“Baby,” she begun “What you’re doing now, this is how you’re holding back,” she said “Look at me,” she told me and I turned my eyes to hers “The love of your life asked you to marry him and you’re overanalyzing it! Just be happy!!” she smiled.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6Uuon3KJe
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I stared at her for a few seconds. She was right. I looked at my hands for a second before a smile appeared on my lips.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMuApxLeaW
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“You’re right,” I smiled. “Damien asked me to marry him,” I said in order to digest it. She nodded and hugged me. “And he did it while we were having sex, by the way,” I chuckled.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmp82MD3PB
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“Come on! You ruined it for me! Ew!” she winced and pulled away from me. I laughed and told her how everything happened.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzma82LPdE
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“So, we have to keep it a secret?” she frowned as we got into the car. “What is it with you and secrets?”525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENNXd30EVR
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“I’m scared that he’ll change his mind when he gets back,” I mumbled.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72s8FIOVwY
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“Why will he do that?” she questioned rhetorically “I doubt that he would have asked you in the first place if he wasn’t sure about his feelings,” Cleo said.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuo7IZPOQi
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“We haven’t been together that long. What if he doesn’t like me? My everyday me, I mean,” I replied truthfully. I had to get this out of my chest.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjK1NY6uC3
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“Honey, do you listen to the words that come out of your mouth?” She frowned and shook her head. She didn’t even ignite the engine. “Damien loves you!” she said and sighed. “Talk to him,” she suggested.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSW5M3fFAx
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“What? No!” I shook my head. “I don’t want him to know that I’m scared again!”525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKDvXPoHxh
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“You can’t hide your feelings for him if you’re gonna start a family someday. It’s not right,” She pointed out.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlp61UykJe2
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“You’re right,” I sighed. “I’ll try and talk to him,” I agreed.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sJQLHHd4a
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Damien was in the country for ten days. And of course, they weren’t enough. I didn’t see him again after the morning he proposed because he had plans with his friends. I also went out with the twins in order to stop myself from over thinking; something that never leads to good things.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5g7cHiDRG1
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I returned home and went straight to bed; hugging the pillow he was sleeping yesterday. Sometime during the night my phone rang. Damien wanted me to let him in.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4mz7its2b
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“You should get your own key,” I told him half asleep as he closed the door behind him.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK39MdMXbdZ
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“I’m not even your official boyfriend,” he mocked referring to the fact that only our closest friends knew about our relationship.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4gWBy10PF
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“Fine, then. Next time you can sleep in your bed. Alone.” I arched my eyebrows.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NybFRKMmR
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“I can start now,” he smirked and took a step towards the door.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiTePJOvys
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“No!” I cried softly and lunched to his arms. His hands were around my body in a second and I heard him chuckle. He smelled like whiskey and cigarettes. I have forgotten that smell that I learnt to love because of him. Damien gripped my butt and led me towards the bed.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL45EXMb6TB
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“Do you want to go back to sleep?” he asked me softly as he was kissing my jaw line.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxP2tVxWdj
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“I want you,” I replied. I could sleep next week that he won’t be around.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNKK9niE5L
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He gripped my thigh tightly as I closed my legs around his torso and pushed myself against his body. He nibbled the skin on my neck. I mingled my fingers through his long hair and kept my eyes open to take it all in.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfw1ke11Rz
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He pulled back after a while just to remove his jeans and t-shirt. He returned on the bed and pulled my underwear down before returning on top of me.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡko8Fq6LR5y
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He entered me slowly; that sweet pain of fulfilling between my legs. He stared at me with those marvelous grey eyes of his and kissed me lips softly as he remained inside of me.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0ZxU9OCLg
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“I love you,” he whispered and made my heart fly.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfrohqdVs8
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“I love you too,” I breathed.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2IJsfA2GF
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I fell asleep intoxicated by his musk scent and his warmth; Things that I could never get used to having.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiPkmGcXqs
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“So where are we going?” I asked Damien as I was seated in his black M6 for a trip to the unknown. He only told me we were going for a casual drink so I was wearing a maxi floral sun-dress witha low cut v-neck and my wedges. Nothing fancy and out of the ordinal.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrLCpGiH2L
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He, on the other hand, was wearing a shirt. That was surely out of the ordinal. Damien was wearing shirts only if he was going out; never for coffee or a casual drink in the afternoon. Of course he was wearing his jeans, but that shirt made me wonder what he had in mind.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PzkAqLunQ
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“Somewhere we haven’t been for a while,” he said still not answering my question. I frowned.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRWYCmKcD9
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“Enlightening! We haven’t been anywhere for a while,” I narrowed my eyes. He laughed bitterly because the reason was that he was in Italy. He put his hand on my thigh and squished it.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUgiR1MlVZ
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“I’m sorry I’ve been away,” he sighed. I placed my hand on top of his quickly and held it as he drove.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDxpiKDFGZ
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“Don’t you dare apologize again for that!” I told him “It’s for your future!”525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnumd1EEZP
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“You’re my future,” he said quietly. My heart flew. I smiled and I put my hand on the back of his newly shortened hair; my thumb caressing his unshaved cheek. I adored him no matter how he looked, but Damien with short hair was giving me shivers and butterflies.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmU7mC4mv1
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“You know what I mean,” I said trying to recover my thoughts and he nodded giving me a smile. “So, tell me where we going!” I demanded.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGqjTK1ouZ
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“Nope,” he grinned. I pouted defeated. I only knew one thing we were going somewhere far away.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLdtmVVdcL
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We were talking about random stuff for a while until I began noticing the familiar surroundings. We were driving to the Summer house. It’s where he first kissed me and where we made love for the first time.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGK6xd23rRu
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I turned to look at him. Butterflies attacked my stomach just like that very first time. I smiled. He turned his eyes towards me for a moment and smiled too.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPMObamM6b
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“The gates are open,” I frowned. He didn’t speak. Weird. He drove up the driveway and stopped the car.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHo8FzXFj9
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“Wait here for a moment, please?” He told me, looking at me in the eye. His hand pulling a handle and the trunk clicked. “And try not to look,” he smiled.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPdg8wHdQH
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“Okay,” I agreed. I was dying to find out what was going on. It wasn’t our anniversary or anything. Could it be -? Was it possible that he was going to propose for real? No. I doubt it was that.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFszqdyAZvb
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He closed the gates behind the car and I realized that I didn’t have any clothes with me. “But who cares, it’s not like I’ll be wearing any of them around him.” I saw him taking out something from the back of the car quickly but I tried not to see what it actually was. Not that I could make out in the dim light that was coming from the house.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkD3x9BdxAf
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A few minutes later he walked out of the house and walked to my side of the car, opened the door for me and helped me get out. The light breeze made my dress fly as he closed the door behind me and took my hand in his.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1UJiEF5h3
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We walked into the house and straight towards the back glass doors. He stopped in front of the closed curtains and told me to keep my eyes closed.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7kbAWOkgV
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“Okay,” I nodded. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and my heart racing with anticipation.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59lc5DtWDV
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He placed his hand on my lower back and carefully led me outside. I felt his palms against my cheeks and his lips pressing against mine softly.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFTMEBVl7o
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“You can open your eyes now,” he said softly.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8z2OWAQI8
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The small lights from around the yard was on and the swimming pool lights too. Also, there was a small table on the other side of the pool, between the pool and the roofed sun bed.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8AFEghvJx
Plates and candles was on the table and next to it a trolley with what I guessed to be dinner and red and white tulips; my favorite. I was speechless.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNt3tJCOnz
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“So beautiful,” I mumbled. I didn’t even care what the reason was. If he went into all this trouble, I only had to enjoy myself.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmbuTKxgij
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“I’m glad you like it,” he smiled and led me towards the table. “Would you like some wine?” he asked me.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4IIb1UrIp
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“Yes, please,” I smiled. And I haven’t even spoken to him about my concerns. He poured wine into two glasses and gave me one. I walked towards the edge of the pool and stared at the water smiling.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2loF8TGYr
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“You look so beautiful,” he said quietly from a few feet behind me. I turned around; my dress still moving away from my legs in the rhythm of the breeze. I noticed him putting his mobile back on the table and smiled. He must have taken a picture. Then I noticed him fidgeting as he left his glass on the table too.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7igEwHWSZ
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“Why are you so nervous?” I frowned. Damien chuckled as he walked up to me.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiwgnR2NXO
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“I love you,” he smiled and looked at me with his marvelous grey eyes.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcltUzWWBUJ
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“I love you too baby,” I smiled and kissed him softly on the lips.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6FGqFRJ45
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“I know you’re having second thoughts about asking you to marry me,” he begun and for a moment I turned my eyes elsewhere. But then he kept talking. “I’ve thought about it a lot when I was away and I actually can’t think about a future without you in it. And everything I want to do is to create a better future for you. I know we are not together that long and you’re scared about that,” he said and I bid my bottom lip but I couldn’t keep my eyes away from him. At first it sounded like he was about to propose, again, but he confused me. “But we do know each other your whole life,” I chuckled as he emphasized our age difference. He took the glass from my hands and placed it on the table behind us.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC8FlGUWgT
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“I know that by asking you to marry me, you won’t stop being afraid,” he said and a sigh escaped my lips. “But I’m hoping to make you remember that I won’t leave you or hurt you in any way. I know that I promised that once again and I broke that promise -”525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe839Uqwdup
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“Actually, you only promised not to cheat on me,” I mumbled and smiled softly.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUglgKEdhCD
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“I actually promised to myself not to do anything to hurt you like Alex did. So, I did broke my promise,” he said and those days came back to my mind. My heart fell. He cupped my face and made me look into his grey eyes.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobjIJg3N9K
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“I promise not to ever hurt you like that ever again. For as long as I live and breathe,” he vowed “I want you to know that I’m committed to you and us. And I will do anything in my power to keep you happy. And so I wanted to do this properly,” he said and before I asked what he was talking about he got down on one knee and took a little box out of his pocket. I parted my lips in order to breathe properly when he asked the question.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsbSbFmxXf
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“Will you marry me?” he asked. My lips curled up to a smile. The ring was not silver like all engagement rings. It was a material I couldn’t place and on the top, a grey rock surrounded by little white rocks. I smiled as it instantly reminded me my favorite set of eyes.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7gakyPE38
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“Yes,” I smiled and he took the ring out of the box and placed it on my finger. He stood up and cupped my face and kissed me. “I want you everytime you look on your ring to remember my promise. Okay?”525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0xNMa0SZF
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“Okay,” I mumbled as I got lost into his arms.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF5NrvY6DO
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If there’s a Heaven, I’m pretty sure I was seeing it and feeling it right that moment. So this is how it felt having all your dreams coming true.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUr5MUaOOX
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“So, I guess with a rock on my finger it will be very hard not to tell our families…” I trailed; a small grin on my lips as I sliced my chicken. Damien chuckled.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38W5BIVDJJ
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“A bit too late for that,” he grinned and ate his last bite.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolOioOJgcB
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“What do you mean?” I frowned and left my fork down.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBBwr2poz6
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“I’ve already told you; I wanted to do this properly!” he said and got a sip of wine. I was waiting patiently. “I’ve talked to my parents and then visited your parents early this afternoon,” he smiled, eyeing me carefully and waiting for a response.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJZcjOfSzk
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“Okay,” I breathed out slowly. Where was I during all of this? Oh right, I was with Max. I’m sure he was in on it.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3TQQAar2o
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“I told them that we’ve been seeing each other for almost a year,” he begun.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5azmrXuO2
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“That’s a lie,” I smirked. Damien laughed.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7cNsOMA4k
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“It’s been a year since we first kissed,” he arched an eyebrow. “We’ve been in love for much more, but I kept the details for ourselves.”525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZELZZ5iCbI
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“Good thinking,” I chuckled. There wasn’t a need for our parents to know everything. “So?”525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OUJSof7Qy
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“Well, to be honest, our moms did seem to relax at the fact that we are planning on waiting until you get your degree,” he said.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLmBmuIbYy
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It was such a beautiful night. I couldn’t care less if I was barely 19 and was engaged to a man that I was in a relationship for under a year. Because Damien wasn’t just a man. He was everything I adored and longed for since I could remember myself.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGnnP6d2qe
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“Why were you so nervous, anyway?” I asked curious as I sipped my wine. He took a sip from his as well and chuckled; blushing. “Oh my God, I made you blush!” I exclaimed happily and he laughed as I got up from my seat and landed on his lap; hugging him.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFGpQJQ9Bs
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“You are the love of my life. I wanted this to be perfect,” he explained softly.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5N9XBhhRw
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“It is perfect, baby,” I smiled and kissed his lips.525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisAIXnRoQU
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit:525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXMaWSctWh
"Hearts Don't Break Around Here" – Ed Sheeran525Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVEhZ5TDcQ
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One of the new (published in 2017) chapters!!! Let me know what you think!!
