I prayed for this time to be easier. I wished that this time won’t be as hard as the last time we broke up but the hole in my chest was there again. And it hurt.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1fAWfhJS9
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His words still echo in my mind; his reply, that I loved him enough to make him love me back. Some nights, when I feel weak, those words run through my head again and again, like a broken old vinyl. And a giant “what if” is tattooed in my mind. What if he really meant it? What if he really did love me after all? What if?485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnhLWq4dut
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At this point I would toss and turn in my bed, torturing myself with questions. It was the worst part of the day; the part where I would be most weak and vulnerable. I was trying to keep myself from sending him a message. Just an “I miss you” would do enough damage to me. I didn’t know what his response would be but I broke up with him for a reason. He cheated twice. It was enough.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZaHd4nlcB
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I pushed the sheets off of my body and got up. I threw my mobile on the couch, got my car keys, wore my sandals and left the garage. I was wearing only a tanktop and a short but it didn’t care; where I was headed I didn’t need to put on an outfit. I just wanted to be away from my phone.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0LUZ6knaz
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I stopped at the red light. There was a car beside me but the sad song coming from the speakers distracted me.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5e2tyuTIB
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“..how do you love with a faith full of rust, how do you turn what the savage take..”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL93IV9sSDx
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I groaned and pushed play on the CD.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hzTOCHR0Y
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7gdVBXk8e
“..I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been It's your right and your ability to become my perfect enemy..”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zSgr19620
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegReODvEM2
That’s more like it. I would rather be angry at him; fantasizing a revenge. I wouldn't go any further than I already have -sending a girl to have sex with him and report back was enough- but imagining that I could yell at him and hating made me feel better. The moment my eye caught sight of the green light the driver from the car next to mine pushed his horn. I didn’t turn to see why.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBVqr2fwoE
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdru2el5GT
As Metallica followed the previous song, I didn’t hear anything else but the music as I drove to the clearing in the middle of the night. I turned off the engine but kept the music on. I hate silence.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0nf9avWB9
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I pushed back my seat and crossed my legs on it; leaning back. I closed my eyes and tried to lose myself in the music. I heard tires on the road behind and my eyes snapped open. Who would drive here at 3 o’clock in the morning? The first thing I did was to push down the locks. Then I turned my eyes on the review mirror to see the car. The driver had the lights on so I didn’t have any luck.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuiKJ8PPvr
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDk9qsDFwM
The car came into a stop right next to mine and I could look at the car and the driver. I furrowed my eyebrow in confusion but in relief also. It was Damien.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnBwlRgRi4
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRqazJ0KrO
I saw him getting out of the car and walking towards my door. I unlocked the door and opened it; getting out just as he came closer.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUItJVVZZI
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“Hey,” he said and stopped behind the opened door.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQd2TxBB3fv
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“Hey,” I replied, confused “What are you doing here?”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhu0sIPTvY
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUOEtzrMXv
“What are you doing here?” he asked “Its 3 o’clock in the morning!” he said.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1d0yZgNDHU
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPUE5puXSY
“Who made you my dad?” I scoffed. What’s with him? I sat back in my seat, my legs bended on the door frame. He came at the other side of the door, so he was now standing in front of me.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aIG0pyCfX
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfD4MzXWJI
“Sorry,” He apologized, seating on his lap “I just saw you at the red light and I was worried and you weren’t answering your phone so I followed you,” he explained while I was looking anywhere but him.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx5BDgO7kL
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“Oh that was you,” I said, realizing that he was the driver next to me earlier. “My phone is at home,” I mumbled.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiP6DWRgp4L
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiacFDY8wR
He didn’t speak for another minute or two. He got up and right when I though he was leaving, he walked across my car and opened the passenger’s seat and sat next to me. I turned towards the wheel; sitting straight.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zoA1OmsQG
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“How are you?” he asked. I sighed deeply, not wanting to answer. I didn’t want to cry over Alex in front of Damien again.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XCcyjM5N2
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLKACaNP7A
“I'm alive,” I replied looking at my folded legs before me “How are you?” I asked.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXGp1eA9k7
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpT23Hl8aLC
“I'm alive.”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMm9PLCjw5u
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgkeOWLxOR
“What? Problems at the honeymoon suit?” I chuckled; remembering his girlfriend.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZ0Jw6fSnq
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4jENOylT4
“Something like that,” he replied his tone serious; unlike mine.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Mj562p2rO
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01JmVIx0ue
“Don’t worry. It will pass,” I said, painting my voice with false hope “As long as she doesn’t cheat,” didn’t manage to mask my bitter tongue here.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIJ45QiAC2
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbMPfQ8uHV
“It’s not her. It’s me,” he mumbled.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrahyhiZsg
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“Why?” I asked “If you want to tell me of course,” I added quickly. I saw him flinch at my question.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKTOGCmRho
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlm01Wj6Ph
“How can you be like that? Seriously,” he snapped; turning towards me.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1gZ8z6tCi
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“What do you mean?” I asked confused.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhUyXu20z2
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa4YDx2xfZ
“Like that!” he motioned towards me “After everything that happened and you still keep the act,” I still couldn’t understand what he was saying. I kept quiet, too scared to ask him again what he meant.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHrZM8nKXU
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9q55JFcBr
“I’ve kissed you twice and both times you kissed me back,” he began “And even with all the staring…” I shifted my torso “You’re…” I didn’t let him finish, grabbed his face in my hands and crushed my lips onto his. I felt his shock but as I parted my lips, he relaxed and parted his lips too; his tongue entering my mouth.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxveYeNXl7I
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmuDvgx0zT
As soon as I realized that I was actually kissing Damien, that I was the one that made the first move; a moan escaped my throat. But I didn’t care; I was too emotionally tired to feel shy. He broke the kiss and pushed back the seat; pulling me on top of him. I thanked my old car for the wide seats and put one leg on either side of him as our lips met again. He put one hand on my hip and the other on the back of my neck; through my hair.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrBVM37pfl
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GSm95GZlc
I loved this man. I loved everything about him. The way he made me laugh, the way he teased me, the way he looked in the morning, his beautiful eyes, his touch, his lips, his sweet taste. A sigh escaped my lips and he pulled me even closed to his body. He pushed me away suddenly and I looked at him confused.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vJRtNDoak
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“What’s wrong?” I asked.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSdmwvNLon
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“Sorry,” he chuckled “but if we keep this up, I won’t be able to drive home,” he grinned.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIqPryuJ9Z
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzj8bahdMA
“You don’t have any condoms with you?” I asked and he raised his eyebrows. I think I surprised him with my bluntness.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lFlPXV8nm
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“No,” he winced. I smiled and kissed him again before returning to my seat. If he kept this going, I would go all the way. That’s what I was thinking at least. I don’t know what I would do when the time would come.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6L52Orj9T
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HPbiMl70i
Thankfully things came that way though. I didn’t want for this to happen like this. I wanted it to be great; because with him everything felt right. The hole in my chest didn’t exist.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFP5mEpAVb8
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[+++]485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZX0TVxuGPL
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“You look funny,” Max said; looking at me as I joined him at the backyard. I found him sitting at the table next to the pool, drinking his afternoon coffee.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dr4Jek22I
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“Excuse me?” I raised my eyebrows as he removed his RayBan sunglasses.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVku5Lv0xg
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCYA0fj1ra
“Something happened? You look weird,” he replied with a question. Damn. Was it that obvious?485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rKrQxVwpk
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“No,” I lied “I'm just feeling better,” I half smiled and sat down beside him.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cZIufdrjB
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“That’s good,” Max nodded and put the glasses back on his face. With the corner of my eye I’d noticed Damien passing through the kitchen door.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsYF00ATla
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1vb7BJUC7
“I'm going to get something to drink,” I told Max and he nodded. I needed to see what Damien’s behavior would be. Then, I would know if I had to freak out about Cleo and Max and whether I would tell them or not.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wqjk7Lm9Q
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My question was answered as I entered the kitchen and his face light up. It was good to see that I made him feel like that.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1yEk27QwV
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8i7EwIpLR
“Hello,” I greeted him; smiling as I walked to the fridge. I still wasn’t sure though.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9e4IqsOAEn
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4p9Shj45K
“Hello to you too,” he replied as I opened the door. He came behind me to return the juice bottle. He put one hand on the small of my back and kissed my shoulder before returning where he was. My heart was bouncing.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA2kQvlBPf
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBXTWhR44K
“Hey sweety,” I heard Cleo calling from behind me. If my heart was bouncing before; it was nothing compare to this. Did she saw Damien kissing my shoulder? Doubt it. She would say something if she saw him.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLd3SYE17A
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“Hi,” I said and grabbed the juice bottle. I closed the fridge and smiled at her. I felt Damien’s eyes on my face before he walked to the door that led to the living room.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15shOAaaUW
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMrHlUqERN
“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Cleo asked me, taking the juice bottle from next to my glass on the kitchen counter. I didn’t have the time to answer for Damien returned to the kitchen.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhouP4TnUO2
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“Oh, Ladybug, I have a book that you might like. Come up to my room for a second,” he motioned towards the stairs with his head.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4Qr6yWVcq
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“In a bit,” Cleo asked for me.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRFDIYCkQN
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“In a bit,” I repeated and he disappeared from the doorway.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsjIvFInGC
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“So?” Cleo asked.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSYFCFTJVI
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkY5YkxzYB
“Let’s go for a beer at “Johnny’s,”” I suggested “I need a healthy dose of metal and beer,” I smiled sheepishly; making her laugh.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkP1BTVdhGM
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU91a1VS8VW
“You mean you need to get drunk.”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLDuVYgcmf
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MB383dIDO
“Yehh...and metal music shaking my bones,” I said with the same tone. It’s been a while since we last went at my favorite bar. I need the loud music to ease my brain.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EBZzhlWlP
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“Done,” She nodded with a smirk as I walked towards the doorway that led to their rooms.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPb1wuQFHm
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“Where’re you going?” she asked confused “Max is out back.”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ7G05n5kU
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“You know, the guy that stood in the doorway before wasn’t a hologram,” I mocked.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAajemIOph
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“Oh yeah. Right,” she laughed and went out the kitchen door.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLklpRb6wnA
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I went up the stairs and to Damien’s room thinking about Cleo and her reaction if she found out about last night. What am I going to do?485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibWNQ7uF9A
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdkpdphVzM
Okay. First things first; let’s see what Damien thinks. I knocked on his door and when I heard his soft voice replying and the door opened. He was standing right next to it, looking at his bookshelf.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKNhhwm7ma
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjuQKbt3ca
“Hey,” I smiled and closed the door behind me.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXTkWu7EZx
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“Hey Ladybug,” he grinned. That was a good or a bad sign? I didn’t know.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgYOZfpo19
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkKpYPbv8M
“Here,” he said and gave me an architectural book. There really was a book then. He sat on his couch and looked at me as I sat down on his bed; three meters away from where he was seated.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ989QzwFAMl
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz6AacoOUD
I was seating as far away as possible. We almost had sex last night you stupid stupid man and you giving me a book? I opened the book and take a look at the designs.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1qAAz4r33
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNvcWpQJxx
“Cool,” I mumbled.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHgS4BPbPK
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“You can sit outside the room if you want,” he said sarcastically and I looked up at him.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYznNG5xll
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“Huh?”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6DbAqgjPG
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“Come here,” he sighed. I stood up and sat next to him on the couch; keeping my eyes in the pages of the colorful book. I was feeling awkward.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCoK1ggvT8
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuXeCfMdG8
“Really nice,” I smiled.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADvBzcNDz4
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMGxaSZjun
“You can have it.”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMqZMLitYc
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuevCIpa28F
“What?” I looked at him. This was a huge book, probably 600 pages, it must worth a lot.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUaRKmWAIp
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCok0hdMiyy
“You can have it.”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3DD65BZGm
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFFu0qf46y
“No,” I shook my head and he was about to protest “I'm here all the time anyway, I can borrow it anytime,” I explained. He didn’t reply.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBokVqZEky
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJtJ3g8CTP
I licked my bottom lip in frustration and the moment I looked away, his lips crashed onto mine; his hands on either side of my face. I gasped as I felt his soft lips on mine. I kissed him back for a little bit before I pushed him away and covered my lips with the back of my palm.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBjTv1JWKv
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“What’s wrong?” he asked.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KILwzGM8z
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“Max and Cleo are downstairs,” I mumbled.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaePYYiWhlO
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“So?”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oZDQQyYJs
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“Are you kidding me?” my eyes widened and he shook his head. “Cleo will probably stop talking to me if she finds out.”485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWh9QlDjx9
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“So, I guess, I can’t say anything,” he said.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTug8qExSR
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“Of course not,” I said and then I remembered something “Um, don’t you have a girlfriend?” I raised an eyebrow.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJngmtrkdpk
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKZk7Z5yOO
“I'm breaking up with her tonight,” he said simply.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIoDizcDHc
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“What? Why?” I panicked. His eyes moved away from me; widening like the reasons where obvious.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4w8hQwtVb0
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKDD8lrvsE
“Because of me?” I asked and stood up “No. No,” I shook my head. What if he didn’t like me? He knew me since we were kids, yes, but he didn’t knew me all that well.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpX5cK2eEJQ
What if he suddenly realized that he didn’t liked me and regretted breaking up with his girlfriend?485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7R5Gcto4N
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“Fine,” he said and for a moment my heart fell. I didn’t want him to break up with her because of me but it would be nice thing to do.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGzLFC3LTS
485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKwxjnLP2G
“I'm not breaking up with her because of you,” he continued. Again my heart fell. “Does that sound better to you?” he mocked and I smiled.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6QP0qZxbO
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“You’re such a clown,” he chuckled as he caught my smile.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedAWPjBYEb
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“I'm sorry. It’s just…I’ve been cheated,” I explained “Twice,” I narrowed my eyes as the thought.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpq3s60IXBa
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“Yeah, I understand,” He nodded and got up.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yzPMykCtP
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“We’re going at “Johnny’s” tonight,” I began as I walked to the door “Come if you want, though it will be weird, since I’ll be with Max and Cleo,” I winced.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEzaOnrHnq
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“I’ll see how it will go tonight and probably text Max in the honor of the secrecy,” he smiled.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LnVU8o0xb
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“Okay,” I smiled and put my hand on the handle.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDCx1LgZYY
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“Hey,” he stopped me and I turned around to look at him. He put his palm against my cheek and kissed my lips; my heart rate increasing. He pulled away and smiled. I had no idea what we were from now on.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8tNnOm4Ai
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He did, made it at “Johnny’s” that night. I was leaning against the wall with my cold beer in my hand and Damien was next to me, eyeing me and teasing me. But then again, he was always teasing me.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZzalG0XTk
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However, I noticed Cleo giving us some weird looks but I hoped it was my imagination combined with the alcohol. Still, the thought that she looked at me weird didn’t help my courage enough. I was sure she wouldn’t approve.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjMee3HAlj
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I remember two years ago, when we were all at a party and Damien was teasing me like usual and someone asked if I was his girlfriend.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nvPgL423H
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“No,” Cleo had exclaimed. I could still remember her tone. Like she was saying “Her? No way!.” I was hurt so badly that night that I decided that it was over. No matter what feelings I had for Damien, I should get over them and move on.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXfLcaogDF
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But what about now? Now that he liked me too? What she would say now? What if she stopped talking to me? I know her my whole life. She’s like my sister. I guess I wasn’t good enough for her big brother. I didn’t know what else to think.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe36Prs6WdK
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For now I would keep this a secret and hoped for the best moment to tell her. But tell her what? That I’m seeing her brother? I would wait and see where things with Damien will go first and then try and find the right time to tell Cleo. And Max.485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ457h3wgiTu
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Gravity by The Perfect Circle485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVX5yhY87o
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This is one of my favorites, when they finally get to be together a bit mor than usual...what do you think??485Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgh7Q5qAF1O
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Merry Christmas I wish to you all and I hope you'll have a great time! :)
