“Talk,” my brother James said. It sounded more like an order however. I took a deep breath.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaf83oe8AU
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“Okay. So, as I told you, I wasn’t alone yesterday,” I begun.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPTvJdevTE
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“Yes. And it wasn’t Alex. Right?” he looked at me. He still didn’t believe me. Or he just wanted to be sure.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OC5yWdQYd
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“No James. It wasn’t Alex,” I assured him and already seemed to relax.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtJDayuiwi
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“Then who it was?” he asked curious now. I winced; my mouth twisted as I frowned a bit. He chewed his food as he waited for me to answer.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSGiOiv7Xi
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“It’s been going on for three weeks,” I begun “No one else knows yet and I would like to keep it that way for now.”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8KaTx1ER1
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“Okay,” he frowned as he spoke slowly and took a sip of his drink.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTbb6InE4w
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“I was with Damien,” I said. James almost choked.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84Vkuxmh1X
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“As in the twin’s brother, Damien? Damien Simmons?” he asked; his eyes wide. Was that such a bad thing? Not a good first reaction.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h77wiDZ5m
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“Yes. Now stop repeating his name please,” I said, my voice small, as I took a bite of my food and looked rapidly around in case there was anyone I knew sitting within a hearing distance. James chuckled suddenly and I turned my eyes towards him.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BhkS0xObS
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“It was about fucking time sis!” he smiled. I blinked. Huh? “You were head over heels for the guy for almost a century. It was about time you two got together.”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXNFG49gi6
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“Fuck. Was it that obvious?” I winced. What if everyone else could tell I was in love with him? What if Max and Cleo noticed? Is this why my mom always making jokes about wanting him to marry me?444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJ5s906KMq
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“Well, yeah.” I frowned. “But don’t worry, you confused everyone when you started going out with Alex,” he narrowed his eyes as he said the name. My chest ached for a split of second but then my thoughts turned to Damien. “So, when are you planning on talking to Cleo and Max?”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUwDZOuInO
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I groaned in response. “I’m working on it. Damien is bugging me enough, you don’t have to be in on that too,” I narrowed my eyes at my brother.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGAFbVBJbp
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With Christmas being only two weeks away, I was feeling more and more anxious. My first exams were near and I knew I had to talk to Cleo and Max. And I had to do it soon. The stress was overwhelming. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. It had to be done!444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R2oen9Ctn
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Since I talked to James yesterday, I figured that it would be easier if I talked soon to the twins. I texted Max to go out for coffee with me when I knew Cleo was busy with Mike. As I was waiting for him, I was only sure for one thing; that Max could locate me from the door without even looking for me. My heart was bouncing so hard that I was pretty sure he would be able to hear it as soon as he stepped into the shop.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2gT7H8W0K
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I greeted him with a smile when he sat down next to me and asked him what he would like to drink. I offered to get our drinks just to calm myself down. I returned to our table five minutes later.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjC8q0SAUyX
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“Dude, stop fidgeting. What’s wrong?” he frowned. I was so transparent sometimes.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzTeN2d8ei
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“I need to talk to you about something,” I mumbled.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkUktVQAoH
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“Sure,” he nodded.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIrqBPuEtU
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“Please don’t freak out on me cause I need you,” I winced and looked at him.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mh7XVJd0O
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“Are you back with Alex?” he frowned.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ikR2kROQU
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“What is wrong with you people? Why would I do that?” I exclaimed.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGHSrdoJwj
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“Okay okay,” he raised his palms up in defense “Now I know it’s not that, I’m all ears,” he said.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2E7P6S6ai
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“I’ve been seeing this guy…” I began.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrh2naYx8D
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“What? Who?” Max interrupted; a wide smile on his face. In my strange state of my mind I could almost relate him to The Joker. I shook my head to get out of the paranoia.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdYc25E0qp
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“Let me finish,” I looked at him and took a deep breath. “I’ve been seeing this guy and I wanted to share this since the first day but I couldn’t.”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uv4GEL8pr
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sz314hXWG
“Why not?” He frowned. I sighed. “What’s with you and all the secrecy? You never told anyone about Alex either,” he asked. Good point but I needed to get it out of my system.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9L11olojv9
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“I’m dating your brother,” I blurred out and waited for some loud response. Max blinked.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoBxYQqEzb
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“You and Damien,” he mumbled; his voice so low I could barely hear him. I felt dizzy. He took a sip of his coffee and looked back at me.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDzZ0SfJ1S
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“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Max frowned.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwh3iHMkh7d
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“Why the fuck are you apologizing for?” he asked and I was puzzled “It was about fucking time you told him how you felt.”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpHIUKZLAJ
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“Um…okay,” I winced, trying to take in his reaction “He made the first move actually.”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeorwVszxer
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“Should have known. If he waited for you to make the first move, we would be having this conversation while having tea and our teeth would be in a glass of water on the table because we would be 74,” he mocked.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQcl4Zr7SX
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“Max this is difficult. I haven’t told Cleo yet,” I got right to the point; the thing that hurt the most.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiPeVpCLmp
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“Why not?”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXY10oGo6og
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“Because I’m scared of how she’ll take it. She probably won’t like it,” I confessed my fear and took a sip of my coffee.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHOg6myRuz
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“She’s your best friend, I can’t see why she won’t be happy for you; especially after what happened with Alex,” he pointed out.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWQMFWbHqU
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“A few years back, she made some comments that made it clear to me that she didn’t want me telling Damien anything.” This was the first time I spoke about this to someone else.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB0FLzMA0c
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“I’m sure it was a misunderstanding. I can be there with you when you talk to her if you want,” he suggested.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqWv6vJuRM
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“Thank you.” I really hoped that this would go well but no matter how much I hoped, a feeling I had didn’t make me very optimistic. I was way too nervous about it.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8Ihnmx2Uw
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I told Max on December 12 about Damien and me. I was planning on telling Cleo the next day but when I went for class that Monday, one of my classmates reminded me that we had a project due to Friday the 17th. After the first shock was over, the only thing I could think of was how to finish the project. Or start it actually.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAVNgFjuXc
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I had to give away the full blue prints of a 140 square meters house; small project but not able to cover in a week. My hand searched for my mobile in my big bag and dialed Damien’s number.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFizRUkPbmt
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“Hey baby” he greeted me; my heart flattered. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to hearing Damien calling me baby.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGo97bLfSe
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“Hey” I breathed.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbTr3IZOZQ
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“What’s wrong?” he asked and I could hear the frown in his voice. I explained about the project and heard him chuckle.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxfxoUG3Ez
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“It’s not funny you idiot. I’m never gonna make it,” I frowned and almost cried.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSVpAgyamJ
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“That’s why you need to thank your amazing man about this,” he said proudly.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvSeAa0JYF
I narrowed my eyes.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3PzO517D7
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“What do you want in exchange for your help?” I asked and he chuckled.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKmfT23Xar
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“I’m at work right now, so I’ll get back on you about that, later,” he said and I could hear his smirk. I couldn’t get enough of him. I don’t think I will ever get used to his or believe that I’m with him.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrrhBtMBh8
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“Sure,” I smirked too “For real now, call me as soon as you get off work please. I’m heading home right now.”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloL098BpTY
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“Okay ladybug, we’ll talk in about an hour then,” he told me and we hang up. Thank God he existed. Even if he wasn’t my boyfriend, I would still count on him for help but now it was even better.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBNc03mb6x
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Only thing to do besides my project was to talk to Cleo. I had to talk to Cleo.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujUtLkrhRm
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On my way out of the university I met some other friends and stayed for coffee with them. I ended up running towards my car because Damien texted me before calling me.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnoTFlzcos
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“I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” he told me.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8b68GAPHrJ
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“I’m waiting for you,” I lied as I made a right turn to get out of the campus.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqapI2wG28M
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“Liar,” he chuckled “I can hear your bug growling.”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SR8VwRiTq
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“Leave my bug out of this Simmons,” I said; my voice strict. He chuckled and told me goodbye.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3jznCmFvu
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Cleo had called me later that afternoon with a coffee invitation which I turned down due to the work it had to be done. I told her the truth; that I had called Damien for help because I had completely forgotten about the project.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTSzwhk6Sh
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I didn’t pay much attention to her reaction because I couldn’t bear the extra stress to my day. It took me two days to completely finish the ground plan and only had two days to complete the project.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsO2kFVnw2
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Damien had taken half of the work and was so pleased to help and seemed cheerful. Me on the other hand, I was going insane. I had to finish the blue prints and I had to talk to Cleo. Within the stress and the madness that consumed me I never neglected to appreciate Damien’s presence. I simply found it impossible not to steal quick glances.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQdZ5K446R
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As I worked I could still see his long fingers as he held the pencil and occasionally a cigarette on his left hand and the T square with his right. His hair had grown longer since he returned home from Italy. I remember the first time I saw him again, his hair was cut short, laying messy on his forehead. Now that they were longer, he was parting them on the left and pulled them away from his face. Most of the times, he would caught me staring at him and caused me to blush. What a wonderful feeling.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq5u7KLI7a
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“Fuck this,” I exclaimed and threw my pencil on the table. I pushed the chair back and got up. I turned the volume of the speakers up and let the music fill the room. I needed to calm down.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDHJGzg0XC
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I stood there for a second; my palms covering my eyes trying to relax before I walked towards my bed. I threw myself backwards on the mattress and concentrated on the music. As soon as the song changed, Damien crawled on top of me. Neither of us talked; he just parted my legs and placed himself between them. My heart flattered every time.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXlleE2lwX
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His left elbow was against the mattress and his right hand was griping my left thigh tightly. I put my right hand on his lower back, underneath his grey t-shirt, while the other messed his hair on the back of his head as his lips moved against mine.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4H4Yzlper
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I moved my hand from his back and put it against the waistband of his jeans, between us. He slightly moved his hips upwards but instead of letting me unbutton his jeans, he took my hand and pinned it on the mattress above my head. I groaned in irritation and he smirked while moved my other hand above my hand as well.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3nsBrkzUz
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“You’re not helping,” I groaned as his lips touched my neck.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhaugjkIcE
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“We’re not going to have sex,” he whispered against my skin.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBympwunhe
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“Why not?” I asked “I want you, you want me,” I tried to reason him while pushing my hipbones upwards towards his pelvis “We’re lying on a bed and you’re kissing me,” I whispered seductively. Maybe if I turned him on enough, he would give in.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaijXcjMu2h
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“I see right through you ladybug and it’s not going to work,” he smirked and sat up.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKz312hIWf
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“Where are you going?” I asked and rested my weight on my elbows against the bed.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySJ9IijBUR
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“We’re going to work,” he said strictly. His tone suggested that he wasn’t taking no for an answer. Not even my father sounded like that! I groaned and got up from the bed as he turned the music down. I walked to the table and sat down on my chair.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tfx6V25vW
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“Are you going to stay with me tonight?” I pouted.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6zMuG6uxn
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“Nope,” he said as he drew a line with the pencil. I narrowed my eyes at him.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsD0v82738
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“Is this happening because I made you help me?” I asked; my eyes still narrowed. Damien turned to look at me and smiled. I groaned in response of his confirmation and he chuckled.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9utRd8XEyu
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“Do not push your luck Simmons,” I threatened.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0wQ2TH1Rj
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“Oh!” he snorted “Why?” he smirked and lid a cigarette.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUWSQfR4Z2
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcbyULlyyB
“Because I’ll win in the end,” I smirked back and got up. I walked to the fridge and got a soda. I returned to my seat without paying attention to him.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgv5nK2tCX
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“I’ve known you since the dinosaurs’ ages,” he chuckled “You’ve never won against me!” he smirked and released the smoke he inhaled just a few seconds earlier. I licked my lips and stretched one of my feet forward. I placed it between his parted legs on his chair.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU26KxDg3mW
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87VsRTtPNi
“We weren’t having sex before,” I pointed out and stroked his inner thigh with my foot; a wicked smile appeared on my lips. He narrowed his eyes and caught my foot. Thank God it was winter and I was wearing socks; otherwise I would be on the floor laughing.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJWbxkZfIh
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As I bit my lip, a grin on my face, someone knocked the door. He smiled and pushed my foot down.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgmKzEy3Yr
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“Coming,” I yelled to the door and got up. I walked to Damien and he turned towards me a little surprised. “Saved by the bell,” I grinned as he put his palm against my waist and I kissed his lips lightly before walking to the door.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyEsyk7dLX
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpGD2B3Ady
“Hello kids,” Max said when I opened the door. “Good, you’re not having sex.” I frowned at him as he walked past me. I heard Damien choking on his own smoke.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lVnIzMwus
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“Oh yeah, I talked to Max,” I winced at Damien.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iEYDM6tWj
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“Thanks for sharing baby,” he grinned sarcastically.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrbYbDkIq3
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“Cleo is on her way by the way,” Max said at the same time as he sat down on the couch.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOMtbwF0iE
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“I totally forgot. I got the news about the project, freaked out and forgot to tell you,” I slid a small smile at Damien right when someone knocked on the door again; Cleo as I assumed.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CkvT86vCt
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“Hey babe,” I smiled at her as I stepped aside.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowFv3HzwQD
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“Hello. How’re you doing?” she asked as she walked past me and waved at her brothers.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98iUmIsHlx
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“I’m about to die from stress, thank you,” I smiled “You?”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyEi2AW1FU
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“I broke up with Mike,” she said as she sat down next to Max.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SLCT7aeDI
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“What? Why?” I asked as I followed her and sat on the table across from her.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2hhjGNAM8
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“He just said he wanted some time apart. He couldn’t handle exams and me together,” she said; her voice low.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCZ3WSu1Lk
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“Oh,” I breathed and put my hands over hers.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1oJ9wbfm0
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“Fuck him,” Max said and leaned back on the sofa.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxeC1oGZL0
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“Want me to be brutal honest little sis?” Damien spoke.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntbjBWywoP
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“No!” I spoke before anyone else. “Be honest on Friday. Now it will only hurt,” I told Damien and then turned to Cleo again. “You have two and a half days to cry your eyes out and crawl under your covers. Friday night, after I give away my project, we’ll go out and drink to forget! Okay sweety?”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hQauJWfAr
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“Okay,” she breathed. “I’m gonna go home now,” she said and got up.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFD1jijMmi
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“Okay,” I told her and followed her once again.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKa7fBxdxW
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“I’m right behind you,” Max called after her.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfyGzucCCW
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“Fuck!” I whispered and as I rubbed my forehead.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliBHr8fauC
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“You can tell her Friday night,” Max told me and gave me a friendly nudge on the shoulder as he walked pass me. Damn.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZXP8rutsr
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“See ya, bro,” I heard him saying at Damien. I sat down on the nearest furniture; my bed. Why does the universe hates me so much? Why this task was so hard? I sighed and leaned forward; resting my head into my palms. I heard Damien getting up once again; his footsteps getting closer.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeSlDa8A8v
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“Why is this so hard? I don’t understand,” he asked as he sat down next to me. I rubbed my forehead without turning towards him. How can I explain this to him without revealing too much? I don’t think I was ready to reveal the true volume of my feelings just yet.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByL5BS6t8x
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“A few years back, on your 21st birthday to be exact,” I begun “I remember that you were teasing me in your kitchen,” I raised my eyebrows as it was such a common thing for him to tease me. He chuckled at the same time. “When I left the kitchen and returned to where Cleo was, with a friend of yours. That girl asked Cleo if I was your girlfriend,” at that point I noticed that Damien grinned but didn’t comment. “And Cleo almost exclaimed her negation.”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVR2e6YV2N
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Damien had his left hand under his chin and looking at me. I guessed he was trying to understand why that affected me so much.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANxblrbX5C
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“If she didn’t like the idea, back then, I can’t see why she will like it now,” I explained. I didn’t want him to realize that that comment had affected me more that I let on. I always thought that I wasn’t good enough for him; not pretty enough; not smart enough. But Cleo’s reaction that night simply assured those fears.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBD4hMatmd
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“You’re giving this a lot more thought than necessary, baby,” he said and put his palm against my knee. “You were just 14-15 then. A lot have changed.”444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVA00yEUiZO
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“I guess,” I mumbled. I really wasn’t ready to tell him everything that crossed my mind. Not yet at least. “Come on, got work to do,” I told him and got up.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzShoByfYM1
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He caught me from behind and put his arm around my neck; his palm resting on my opposite shoulder as he leaned to the side of my face. His other arm found its way around my waist.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gxNwYyYXv
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“Don’t worry,” he whispered. I wanted to tell him that I love him. I wanted to say it so bad. I exhaled loudly and turned around in his grip. As soon as I put my arms around his waist his grip tightened. I closed my eyes as I rested my forehead against his chest.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2FB9UR4TK
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It was unbearable how much I loved this man.444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRbFIDSRY5
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Breathe Today by Flyleaf
