I couldn’t listen to my professor any longer. My mind was running away from class. 590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGghVjAi2T
More specifically, it was running towards Italy and the old Villa that Damien is reconstructing for the last two months. I bid my lower lip and tried to focus on the words that were coming out of my professor’s lips.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84jcEu1LPL
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3HkFxoTpp
But I wasn’t able to succeed. I could see his lips moving but no sound reached my ears. I was wondering what would happen if I tried calling him. For a reason, I couldn’t even lift my hand up and touch the phone. I was so scared that the pain would return that my body was immobilized.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUblz0bYkc
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I was comfortably numb. And planned to keep it that way.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEDStcTZ1a
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0080zuQ6V
If Damien wanted me out of his life, I could live with that. I knew it would happen sooner or later anyway. I knew that no guy would ever catch up to him in my head; or in my heart. But I would try to feel human again.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgByQ2KlaA
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A loud knock on my door startled me as I was leaning over a ground plan that was starting to get on my nerves. I walked towards the stereo first to turn the volume down before making my way towards the door.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPX8kn724NW
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYboKmHeT3R
Behind the door was Cleo; looking slightly bored. I took a step back and let her come inside. She had come with the most absurd idea ever. She wanted us to take a trip. To Italy.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7G0W8XUm0
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXvlJluvfd
“Seriously?” I questioned astonished.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerUmFVeDvs
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“Yeah, you have the tickets. They’re going to expire!” she said and sat down on the couch. I was still standing where I was; staring at her.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHaeZQIEYy
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DUWcUSYZN
“He is in Italy,” I said, trying to make her realize what she was asking me to do.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzlfYP2Ktj
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsforeE5Cm
“He’s not all over Italy,” she narrowed her eyes at me “It will be fun. We need vocation.”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbP3fyTs580
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnTC0TEOa5
I didn’t reply. I closed my mouth, as I realized it was hanging open the whole time, and sat at the nearest chair.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8zB4Q3cmf
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5lizIT8hl
“We don’t have to visit him,” she said softly. I’ve always wanted to visit Tuscany but the idea of being in the same area as him terrified me. And thrilled me at the same time.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn5DOliGs4
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc29fzNemyc
“Promise?” I asked.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGMByv5WMZ
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfj7x313lc
“Yeah,” she smiled “I can always see him some other time,” she explained. “You don’t have to worry about that.”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5LHNq2LoV
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnE76KDgPx
I took her word for it.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5Fl0gQ0tX
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A week later, I was sitting in an airplane towards Firenze; a city in Tuscany, just one and half hour away from Siena by train. Siena, the city that Damien was. It mortified me that I was so close to him.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiTKzRXnnT
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jKEuNXtVl
I desperately wanted to see him. But I was so afraid. I was even afraid to talk about it to Cleo, fearing that she might do something stupid. I did wax my legs and got all my nice underwear with me though. Just in case. I told myself that the waxing would have happen anyway, but I was obeying Cleo’s orders about the lingerie. I secretly wanted to be prepared for anything. I wanted to be prepared for him. But I wouldn’t dare admit it.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qF2Nki93m
I believe that is Break Up Rule No. 2 as said by Carrie Bradshaw “Lie. It is a lot easier than admitting the truth”.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhIIEoSNf7
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCyBgJuPQM
Thankfully, the mind blowing landscape and my enthusiastic friends took my mind off of him. Of course during the day it was amazing. My head couldn’t stop turning and my eyes couldn’t take in enough details of the amazing city.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LqEQdkWyL
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUqJv5juip
The nights, however, were almost a torture. Italy is a very romantic country. And in the back of my head there was always a picture of Damien and me in Tuscany. Even though there wasn’t a possibility now that that would happen, the picture still existed. Just to make my life miserable.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyi575CkrM
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFDfbvsqfE
“I have a question,” Cleo asked as we were seated on the ground at Piazza Del Campo, sipping our aperol spritz. Her voice lower so that the happy couple, Max and Lexie, wouldn’t hear.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLJW0eJnR2
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uCH3jVYRw
“Shoot.”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBszRq2nLq
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjHXfHKCoV
“If you knew why he left, would you call him?” she asked and made me turn my head. She knew I couldn’t call him. So why was she asking me that?590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFxh4NN5bF
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHD6IiIUUd
“Depends,” I replied softly. She understood that I meant that everything was about the reason he left. One of the many things I loved about my relationship with Cleo was that I didn’t have to say much. And vice versa. We totally understood each other.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjnXM7Z2Yz
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwcMv10lzO
Cleo opened her handbag and pulled out something. As she unfolded it, I noticed that it was a piece of paper. Max and Lexie had turned their attention towards us. Cleo handed me the now unfolded paper. A ripped front page of a gossip magazine.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4DySERdbl
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSfjrveXxy
I exhaled deeply as I saw Alex and me on it. It was the day I met him in the City; the night before I returned home. It was the moment we were hugging. There were also smaller pictures; one at the beach again hugging and another one by the car, his hand against my cheek. He was hugging me to thank me. My eyes snapped back at Cleo for a moment.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GyB23Jvx0
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYFi5q8KgB
“I found it in his desk, at his office,” she explained. I didn’t ask why she was searching his desk in the first place.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBB3TVh787R
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64yMCf59y8
I parted my lips to say something as I released that this is what made Damien leave. But did it matter? For him it didn’t apparently. I closed the paper into my fist and threw it in my bag.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1LmYDuCYr
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoYiycba7n
“You don’t want to call him?” Cleo frowned.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIrh03W9R7
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaN4PmkXwei
“What is it?” Max asked and I noticed with the corner of my eye, Lexie shoving her elbow right on his ribs. Max frowned and closed his mouth. I took the paper from my bag and gave it to Max.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZYTNaCVrt
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2O0D74Juf
“No,” I exhaled “If he cared for an explanation, he would have stayed.” Obviously, this wasn’t the reason, it was just an excuse. They never mentioned it again and I was happy with that.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZun882j00
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWudAsxGP0
We had two nights left and we decided to visit a Pub that was two blocks down from our hotel. I could feel Cleo eyeing me as I was getting ready. She made me feel nervous.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6H8judCVh
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT0j9eFbUU
I wore my black skinny jeans, a long black top, my black high heel boots and several accessories. I put on my make-up, eye liner and red lipstick and turned towards Cleo that was also completely dressed in colors now too.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZpoaVrZoN
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ08r5VdvGJ
“Okay?” I raised my eyebrows to get her approval.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmHjRPwNJb
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsyiRtYWG4
“Sure,” she nodded “Though you look like a frigging vampire!” I narrowed my eyes at her.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRJiRbYe83
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VF7TEVAOb
“Do you want me to slap you?” I threatened.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvIdnaoDLW
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Fxze1ENXt
“Bring it on bitch!” she said before she laughed. “You’re gorgeous,” she smiled and I smirked.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfWz4Bu7jD
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Break up rule No. 5:“No matter who broke your heart, or for how long it takes to heal; you will never get through it without your girlfriends.”. Fact.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TQTw3eIpr
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtTJfVqC0k
We were having such a wonderful time, drinking and dancing. Max and Lexie were occupied with each other, so Cleo and I danced alone. I took the last sip of my second beer and left it on the bar counter, asking for a third one.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcqHJFQF3y
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxlRGtY5KM
“Bathroom,” I mouth to Cleo as the barman place the new beer in front of me. She nodded and I walked away from them.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jLbmh51OI
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6Z0L7J5l2
Ten minutes later I walked out of the bathroom and made my way through the crowd to find my friends. But they weren’t alone.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6BnTouhwB
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4moMJmNvM
Break up rule No. 4: “Never stop thinking about him for a moment because when you do that is when he will appear.”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbZRHmqxlQ
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGu55xYJWtj
I could recognize his figure anywhere, anytime. My heart accelerated. I only noticed that his hair were longer because he had them wrapped in a small ban. I think my heart left my chest and collided on his back. I stood there and inhaled. I was certain my heart hit him because a moment later he turned around. And another moment later, our eyes met.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXqqSMwDdY
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvX5g8uxjH
I parted my lips in order to breath. He was unbelievable beautiful. He was unshaved and had grown a mustage. I think I could see a small line of hair underneath his bottom lip but I wasn’t sure. For a split of second he reminded me of a musketeer.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgXhECQVbo
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTl4hCwRfyC
I averted my eyes, narrowing them at the same time. Should I walk over to them and pretend that everything is okay? Or should I run for the exit?590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgOoFk39zC
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLzaHhDCOQ
I saw a guilty smile on Cleo’s face. I narrowed my eyes even more. I couldn’t stay here and act like nothing has happened. I grabbed my phone from my bag and as I walked towards the exit I typed a massage towards her. “Be ready to scream pain in every language that was ever spoken on planet earth! And you’re paying for the drinks!”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFL1jAMRc3o
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgVdcY3Vjm
I pushed open the bar door and walked outside. Some men that were outside smoking started whistle as I stood there trying to catch my breath. I walked passed them, trying to ignore them.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvsqvnFb3T
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj82UmhwM8J
“Wait,” I heard him calling. I didn’t stop but he caught up to me. “I said wait,” he told me “It’s dangerous to walk alone in the middle of the night,” his voice became softer. I never looked at him.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0rTdmTNWU
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCS6j4o40mv
“Whatever,” I mumbled as I kept walking; my hands inside my black leather jacket clutching my mobile.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5WxvzvrN9
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskVwAyRTxY
My heart was running; unlike my feet. I couldn’t calm down as I felt him so close to me. When we finally reached my hotel, I thought he was going to leave. But he followed me in the lobby.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWAAx5Fh80
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0AnKF886w
“Thank you. Goodnight,” I mumbled and took a step away.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhU7ZH0ekGP
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OV9MAfqdA
“That’s it?” he asked and made me stop. I turned around and for the second time tonight my eyes lied on him. My heart ached. He was even more gorgeous in the light of the hotel lobby.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCa5uJXJXk
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3FBU9yfB5
“What else do you want?” I asked. I wanted run to my room and cry.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5wjchfkJs
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5ZnVhlK2g
“I thought you would at least talk to me,” he said. I couldn’t understand the emotion behind his voice.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPX5ckwUchQ
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYYLofkFfa
“I don’t have anything to say,” I replied softly “Nothing that you’re interested to hear anyway,” I mumbled. I looked at his grey eyes, butterflies attacking my body, and shook my head lightly. “Goodnight.”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡareexThQgA
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEagVkWFj9
“Will you stop saying goodnight?” he asked, frowning; frustration in his voice.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtB5lHaYpL
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkT6Ujm17bS
“Dear Lord,” I exhaled impatient. The torture just wouldn’t stop. “I swear to God, as from tomorrow, you do not have a sister,” I said in a hollow voice. She would pay for calling Damien and making him appear after two and half months in front of me, willing to hear me.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17h5rQcxPW
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEH0URDwsM
“Let’s go upstairs and talk,” he offered as if it was his hotel room. I turned around and started walking, without saying a word. Damien followed. Why was he here?590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BkstaeCLx
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jGBQIvKy5
I felt like crying. I felt like punching someone in the face. I felt like crawling in a u-shape. I felt like screaming.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvq3bx82rHI
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtkOB77J0R
I opened the door and walked inside. The room was a mess but I couldn’t care less. Not even if our bras were lying on the bed in plain sight. I threw my leather jacket somewhere on the pile of clothes.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxA1QU1Xcsa
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zTlkfKI6n
“Let’s get it over with,” I mumbled as I grabbed a bottle of water from the table.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gzvb33HGp
“I suppose Cleo called,” I raised my eyebrows and had a sip of water.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjSFliF2gN
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPANO0XKnA
“Yes she did,” Damien confirmed. “She also called three weeks ago and demanded to know what happened. When I didn’t say, I suppose she went through my stuff,” he winced. I bid my lip. “Because she called today and said we needed to talk,” he said and walked towards the balcony, retrieving his cigarettes from his pocket.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnc3BuyIeJ
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJna08ogv6o
“Oh! You needed your sister to tell you that?” I asked breathing through my nose aggravated as he walked outside the room. “You’re a grown man and you need your baby sister to tell you that you need to explain to your -now- ex girlfriend why the hell you left, huh?” I scoffed, as he lid up a cigarette “I thought you were more mature than that!”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8mgR8WP0e
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVOUvxFiky
“Explain what, Erica?” he said, trying to keep his voice down “I saw my girlfriend hugging her ex in the front page of a magazine!” he frowned; throwing his hands in the air.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprVbryFVwP
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtwUnoh4oR
“I texted you that night! I told you I had some news to tell you. He was in a terrible shape,” I tried to explain.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNI0EspCCd
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33jopxndI9
“He’s your ex boyfriend! Who cheated on you twice!!” he said now not even bothering to keep his voice down.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LgZKhKpGo
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk01gS6o9ub
“He started using drugs! And keep your voice down!” I said as he breathed in from his cigarette.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1QTxGvJky
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWPp6Ljgkv
“And who are you? Mother Teresa?” he mocked.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22QTZORU9G
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEYc5gnRoO
“I just run into him. He has no one else,” I said “You didn’t even bother to let me explain,” I said, my voice defeated and low.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0l8o2v15C
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2pXVkxJih
“What was there to explain?” he said his voice low this time “I was walking to the office and saw the damn paper. How do you think that made me feel?”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K1sfwBIf1
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXZLKrirU9
“Oh, because leaving without a word was such a smooth move huh?” I asked aggravated. “I really don’t have the energy to fight over something that happened almost three months ago,” I sighed.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMJec29oVw
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMzRtG0w70
“You never got over him did you?” he asked. I saw his liquid eyes glowing in the middle of the night as I stare at him confused.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36rz5sIrKN
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewJ0wEMt9w
“What?” I frowned.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt31bbnLez6
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJuBdhKSQh
“We started seeing each other just as you left him again. There was no time for you to get over him,” he explained. I stared at him in a pained expression. He had no idea.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3U0RzQMO9Y
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxELLOagpz1
“You weren’t just a rebound guy,” I shook my head lightly.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkO4Qz0u6D
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbSXUMhlQi
“That’s what it felt like,” he replied.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfy1n0c6o4
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95ibVQyeQk
“I asked you to be patient with me,” I mumbled and leaned against the balcony doorframe. “But you left, didn’t even bother to talk to me first or even answering your phone,” I whispered now as I tried not to burst into tears.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuyL0NodTp
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM31mde7Wfi
He didn’t say anything. He put his cigarette in the ashtray that was on the balcony table. I sighed softly and went inside the room. I pushed some clothes out of the way and sat on the foot of the bed.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1l7L5mhc1
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aRB44MRau
“It hurt watching you crying over him. Again and again,” his voice came from the balcony doorframe where I stood earlier. “He tore you up and you took him back again. I felt betrayed when I saw the pictures on that magazine,” he confessed.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5Kk93r35z
“And he had the nerve to call me,” he scoffed.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLuY7pol00
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“What?” I frowned and turned to look at him.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44NqkuZhiD
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISiZr3XGyu
“He called me about a month ago,” he replied. I was admitted to the hospital a month ago. I narrowed my eyes.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb15fdaKIjS
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXPd8rFN8f
“Why does no one mind their own fucking business anymore?” I breathed through my nose. “What did he say?”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡge8vRfPLmX
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6Gknz6l4a
“That he needed to say something but I never let him finish. I really have no interested to hear what he has to say,” he said and I could see the frustration oozing out of his body. I inhaled and exhaled deeply. It was now or never. But he beat me to it. “Just tell me the truth,” he pleaded “Do you still have feelings for him?” he asked.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWDS948enn
590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9mUFDHkhK
“Why is it still about Alex?” I asked, my voice loud, as I shot up from the bed “It’s been two and half months since you left and I still don’t feel human! I’m like a damn zombie! I don’t allow myself to feel anything because the only thing I feel is pain,” I confessed. Tears run down my cheeks. “I might have cried over him for a few months but it’s been like this with you for years! So stop talking about him! It’s not about him!” I stopped my ranting in order to breath.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kdmtr8aMJ
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“You’re not answering,” he mumbled.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBef0B3NCW
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“Dear Lord! NO!” I said losing my patience “I don’t have feelings for him anymore. He’s just a friend.”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxC6toSF8SW
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“You’re friends now?” he raised his eyebrows.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENlcoOznyT
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“He was there when you weren’t,” I mumbled. I didn’t want to tell him about the hospital.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqptIHgwPnB
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“Fair enough,” he breathed. I noticed he was already in the middle of another cigarette.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNO08TVcYy7
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“You’re smoking too much,” I told him as the death stick was hanging on the side of his mouth. God, how much I love this man. A faint smile appeared on his lips before his expression turned serious again.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BJHn3nBca
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“You said that it’s been like this with me for years…” he trailed “What do you mean?”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKd5mf2y5l
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“You really have no idea?” I frowned. Clueless. That’s what he was.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJJpbcF8mr
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“You never actually told me what’s going on inside your head. I’m always guessing,” he told me. He had a point. I sighed.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqvyvMlK3k
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“It was always you,” I begun, my blood pumping through my veins as I was about to finally admit the truth to his face “I even remember the way I looked at you when I was in grade school. Or how happy I felt when you were holding me that summer at your summer house. I think it was the first time we went there,” I said and leaned against the tv table.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIRzsLjMKD
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“You were three,” he whispered surprised. I turned to look at him.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4wHF5Op8Q
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“I guess,” I shrugged my shoulders. “Then you grew up and forgot all about me,” I said trying to mask the hurt in my voice “Once you went to Junior High, you stopped coming over or hang out at family dinners,” I smiled bitterly at the memories. I was having such a hard time to accept his absence even back then.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItx9dZzg0F
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“I even remember how I felt when I saw you kissing your girlfriend by the swimming pool. I think I was eleven then,” I winced. “I realized it was jealousy,” I chuckled embarrassed. “A year later, Cleo got her first boyfriend and I finally put a name to what I felt about you,” I smiled.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCvL2RAKKZ
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“Did she know?” Damien asked; his voice hoarse. I turned to look at him as I came out of the memories. He looked dazzled.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡariZgbHyLN
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“No. No way. Neither did Max.” I shook my head “I forgot about you when you finally left for college next year. But I guess I never got over you,” I sighed. “It was always about you,” I breathed.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuK2d4nhTA
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“I thought I was imagining things,” he chuckled after a while. “You never said anything,” he said and looked at me. “Even now, I started this,” he frowned.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8MwXDvLfZ
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“And If you didn’t, I would probably have stayed quiet,” I whispered.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2f0ttBF4R
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“That’s what I don’t get!” he said sounding impatient “Why?!” he shook his head trying to understand.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzn46ofbimc
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“Because I know who I am. And I know who you are. Plus I didn’t know how Cleo would take it.”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlujfCjHb1W
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“Will you stop talking in riddles for once?” he looked at me and took a step forward and put out the cigarette.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfPDTqDkNR
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“I know that the only thing I managed to tell you so far is that I was afraid. I was afraid of opening up to you and talk to you because I knew that if you, out of all people, hurt me I wouldn’t be able to deal with it,” I said staring at the floor “I wish I was wrong,” I mumbled.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEycG1uqA1
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“What? What do you mean?”590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHc3k8JwY6W
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“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said. It was the wrong thing to say however.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzq3FyiDsYt
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“Oh, that’s a new one!” he scoffed “You never want to talk about it. You always talk with riddles. You never tell me what you’re thinking or how you feel! Even now, Erica, you speak about the past,” he said and I was looking towards him but not directly at him. “You never talk about the future! Or about now!” he said. He was all over the place.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44cpdswkb2
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“Talk about what?” I said frustrated and got up. “I know I’m not good enough for you! My head is mess. I’m scared to open up and I know I’m not worth your valuable time. You have a beautiful mind, you’re gorgeous, educated, you know how to talk and behave. I’m...I’m…whatever,” I winced and threw my hands in the air.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNk4OAsQwx1
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Someone knocked on the door just as I realized that tears were running down my cheeks again. I wiped them off with my fingers and walked towards the door. Cleo was standing there.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWDlABB20z
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“Baby, are you okay?” she asked and took a step forward.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDI1ZUNQT9K
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“Can you sleep in your brother’s room tonight?” Damien startled me as his voice came from behind me and opened the door wider so he could see his sister. Cleo looked at him and then back at me. I was looking at the floor and I looked at my friend only when I felt her eyes on me.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXr7rnOtsI
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“Sure,” she nodded “Text me if you need anything,” she told me and left.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiwJdhVmj1
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I closed the door slowly and turned around. I didn’t know what to expect from him. I took two steps away from the door just as Damien walked up to me. He didn’t stop; he just put his palms on either side of my face and stared into my eyes. How much I adore those grey eyes.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7PPx4UNrW
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“I love you,” he said. The world stopped. I couldn’t believe I heard those three little words coming out of his mouth. My heart flew, it felt alive again. “You’re more than enough,” he whispered. “Don’t ever dare to believe otherwise. Your head might be a little bit disturbed sometimes,” he smirked and made me chuckle “But it’s the best place to be,” he assured me.590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTw0ZGeQvW
♠ ♠
Title credits:590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlP5Mnwa64
Bullet For My Valentine - Hearts Burst Into Fire590Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0CbfRtzrl
