A/N: Hey, guys! Two warnings for this chapter. It's a little long one compared to the others. Also, this chapter is rated mature for some pure Rodrick smut. Please do NOT read if you are under 18 years old. Thank you and have fun reading!
Need a playlist for your reading? Check out the Anarchy Road Playlist on Spotify!184Please respect copyright.PENANA0xrEmzZBw1
Chapter 27— Touch Me
184Please respect copyright.PENANA4WV9edSz0Q
Over the bridge and past the Plainview park, there we stayed. Both of us, cherry wine coolers in hand, stood side by side with our elbows cutting into the stone railing. My fingers had nearly gone numb from the cold, and the very tips of my ears blushed pink. The stars above us glowed white and peeked through the thick, gray clouds. I watched them, praying for a sign telling me what next to say or do. Because Rodrick was there next to me, heavy eyes staring at the frozen creek. I listened, but there was no calming crutch of babbling water to break the silence. Only our breaths and the breeze rustling through the nearby trees. I wondered what he was thinking. His pursed lips and dark knit brows chilled me to the bone and froze any hope of redemption I had left in me. I kept coming back to what he’d said.
This is for a girl I know—knew…
He said knew.
“I’ve never been here before,” Rodrick said, sitting up and casting his eyes towards the horizon.
“What?”
“I’ve never been here…at the bridge. Didn’t even know it was here.”
“Oh,” I mumbled, “Yeah. I found it a couple of months ago. Kinda helps me clear my head when I’m upset or…confused.” I knew he was watching me, but I couldn’t bear to see his frown. I took a sip of the sweet wine cooler and swallowed hard. “Your band was really good. I’ve never heard you play before.”
Coldly, he replied, “Is that by your standards or rockstar standards?”
His words bit into my skin. I almost shivered. “One and the same, right?”
Oh no, this is not the way I want this conversation to go.
Rodrick went silent, either from contempt or frustration. The bridge suddenly felt shaky under my feet. Part of me hoped it would crumble and I’d fall straight through. But, no. I wasn’t that lucky. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second and pushed the thought away. I can’t keep hiding from this. Rodrick deserved more than that.
“You didn’t tell anyone about me,” I said.
He halfway shook his head. “Not true. I told Angie.”
I turned to him and jabbed eyes at him. “That’s not what I meant. You could’ve told anyone if you wanted. No one would’ve blamed you.” He said nothing. “Why didn’t you?”
He rolled his eyes and gripped the wine cooler can in his hand tighter. “You know why.”
I didn’t push him further. I did know why.
I ducked my head and sighed, feeling a bit of stuffiness in my chest release as I admitted, “Well, you were right. I should’ve told you—told you everything. I fucked up. I really fucked it all up.” I desperately suppressed the cracking in my voice as fresh tears began welling up inside me. “I love the band. But it all just gets in the way. And it’s like I can’t even breathe without someone wanting something out of me and wanting me to be someone. All the time. And you…you’re the only person who didn’t. I felt like I could finally start being myself and then…fuck.” I wiped a hand across my face to capture the falling tear. The emptiness in my chest opened back up again.
Stop crying. You have to stop crying.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked, my voice soft and weak. “I’m so sorry.”
A snug warmth brushed over me. I blinked back to see Rodrick draping his ripped black denim jacket over me, his face softening. He set aside the wine cooler. A corner of his mouth lifted and his dark eyes twinkled back at me like stars. How was he so beautiful?
“Hey,” he hummed, letting his hand rest on the edge of the jacket. “Look at me.”
I fiercely wiped away the rest of my stray tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Philly—”
“I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t stop saying it.
“Hey.” His big hands grabbed my shoulders, and I had no choice but to look up. The way he looked at me, pupils huge in his dark eyes, made me feel held without an ounce of his touch. How could someone do that?
He stepped closer into me, and I could nearly feel his breath on mine, igniting weakness in my knees.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Philly, I’m still gonna be your biggest fan.”
The opening in my chest crackled and sizzled, scorching even the hairs on my arms. The way his wide lips pulled into a smile, so playful and reassuring. That intoxicating smell of Axe and Red Hots that brought me back to the first day we’d ever met. It was too much for me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
Rodrick turned back to the railing, speaking out to air, “I mean, I already have your CD and everything—”
But he didn’t get another second to finish before I rose to my tiptoes and pressed a pure, gentle kiss to his lips. I felt him freeze against me, and I pulled away, immediately terrified that I’d gone too far. I gazed back at him the same way he had at me the night of Homecoming, oh so hesitant and unsure. The beating in my heart had slowed to a near stop, frozen in anticipation of him. When I sunk back down, Rodrick peeled his eyes open again and nearly gawked, his lips parted and his chest taking shallow breaths.
I ducked my head back down, kicking myself for it.
What the hell am I thinking?
“Sorry, I—”
Then, there were his fingers—grazing the bottom of my jaw and slowly tilting up my head. He teased me, brushing his thumb over my chin and piercing his eyes straight into mine without a single word. His lips parted. My lower abdomen quivered. He began to float closer to me, his face mere inches from mine. And just as I thought our lips might finally touch, his head dipped to the side and his kiss landed on my jaw. Excitement ripped through my veins like a shockwave. My nerves liquified as he planted kisses all down my neck, excruciatingly slow and playful. The nerves bundled in my stomach, twisting me into knots at his every move. And finally, when I thought I might burst, Rodrick pulled his lips away and captured mine, tracing my bottom lip with his tongue. Cherry and Red Hots.
Fuck, I might die.
I let him inside and his tongue explored mine as his hands finally took action, digging themselves into my hair and pulling me closer into him.
Oh God, I thought. Yes.
The nerves in my abdomen tortured me to no end. I had to have this. I needed him. I finally pulled away from his kiss, my breaths already hot and panting. “Rodrick,” I whispered, need staining my voice.
“I know,” he echoed back, his hands drifting down to my hips. “Come with me.”
In another minute that seemed to flash by in hazy images, we were in his van and flying down the street to get to his place. My head, so clouded with excitement and shock, hardly took in my own movements. And when we finally reached his front door, Rodrick planted another kiss on my jaw.
“What about your—”
“New Year’s party. Remember?”
Fuck yes.
The door flung open, and he pulled me inside by the arm, slamming it behind both of us. It was at that moment that all bets were off. We seemed to attack each other with our touch, hands exploring one another’s eager bodies. And nothing would stop us this time. We stumbled our way up the stairs, our lips never leaving one another’s. In between kisses, jackets were hitting the floor. Shoes tumbled off down the stairs. Rodrick pulled me into his bedroom and immediately pushed me up against the door, slamming it closed. The breath knocked out of my chest, and he took the opportunity to latch onto my neck, running his hands down my skinny jean thighs.
“You know…what I wanted to do…when I saw you smoking…behind the cafeteria?” he huffed, restraining moans as I dipped my hands towards his lower abdomen, feeling for the edge of his shirt.
I didn’t reply but moaned breathlessly as he nipped right at my collarbone. My hands groped around and finally reached the end of his shirt, ready to tug, when Rodrick’s hands clasped both of my wrists together and restrained them against the door above my head. Momentarily powerless, Rodrick took the opportunity to reach around and palm my ass.
He whispered in my ear, “I wanted to push you up against the wall…just like this…and I wanted to strip you down…” His fingers undid the string of my blouse, letting the sheer fabric fall open and expose my bra. My chest heaved against his touch. I was sure my face was a hundred different shades of red. He reached a hand and pushed my bra out of the way, releasing and groping my breast. His thumb grazed the nipple and he watched it harden under his touch. A dripping heat emanated from in between my legs. I wriggled under his touch, my every nerve upended.
“That feel good?” he sighed against me.
I could only nod my head, eyes shut tight. He traced the nipple in slow circles, fucking with my head the same way as before. It was everything in my power not to scream out from the sheer torture.
“Rodrick,” I squealed, wriggling like a worm in his grasp.
“What?” he hummed.
“Rodrick, please.”
“Please, what?”
“Please…touch me.”
But he did the one thing I feared the most. He let go. His hands fell and he took a step back, leaving me empty and frustrated beyond belief. Rodrick wore that stupid, mischievous smirk I knew so well. He stood tall and proud like a king owning his territory. His eyes darkened and swept across me in pure amusement. How could he be so proud of this?
“You want me to touch you?” he teased.
I stared back, my chest heaving. He knew the answer. I sucked in a breath and bit my lip at him, challenging him back. Rodrick scoffed, a hand reaching down and unbuckling his belt before me. “I’ll do so much more than that.”
Fuck.
He nodded his head towards his bed. I crawled over, and he followed. As I sat on the side, I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to the boy who seemed so hesitant. What happened to the boy I straddled and nearly owned? Now, before him, I felt weak to his movements, to his touch. What had he done to me?
His lips fell back onto mine, stinging and warm. My hands, finally free, dug into his messy hair and held on for dear life. I breathed him in, all my senses completely clouded by his stingingly sweet taste and his scent. My hands slithered back to his shirt and tugged hard. Rodrick complied, peeling the shirt from his chest and grabbing my face back in his hands again. After several more seconds of intensity, that aching feeling in the pit of my stomach gnawed at me once again, and I began grabbing at his arms.
“Rodrick,” I squeaked in between kisses. “Rodrick, please.”
I felt his smirk against my lips. He was enjoying this way too much.
“Take off your shirt,” he whispered, almost completely out of breath.
My hands could find my top fast enough as I flung it up and around my body. Rodrick pulled away for just a second, his eyes drinking me in slowly. They glinted back the same mesmerized look from before. Would he ever get used to seeing me like this? I hoped not.
I opened my mouth to mutter a sarcastic remark, but I was cut short as Rodrick pushed my upper half onto the bed. My head hit the covers and my curls flew out everywhere. In an instant, his lips returned to my blazing hot skin, trailing kisses down from my collarbone to my bra and down towards my belly. When he reached that tender spot on my stomach, I felt every muscle inside of me clench and shake. I’d only ever done this once—once or twice. What if it all went wrong?
His long fingers slithered up my thigh and teased the hem of my jeans, waiting for permission. And when I looked down at him, I saw his near-black eyes staring back at me, wide and patient. Well, not that patient. And amidst all my shaking nerves, I forced a quick nod and guided his hands down to the button of my skinny jeans. Rodrick’s cheeks flushed a bright pink as he came to the same conclusion I’d reached. This was for real. This was jumping into the deep end.
Like handling a sacred artifact, Rodrick slowly and cautiously rolled my jeans down my legs, slipping past my hips then my thighs then my knees. Every muscle in my body was stiff as stone, ready to shatter apart at any moment. But when Rodrick’s eyes floated down to my panties, his face lit up as red as a poppy flower. His lips fell open, and his eyes darted between my face and the wetness in between my legs. But there was something off. Some sort of hesitation in his movements. I couldn’t help but wonder…
“Rodrick,” I started, taking a second to slow my breaths, “have you never…?”
He said nothing, almost refusing to meet my eyes. His lips pursed shut and his jaw hardened. My mind went blank. So, he really never had…
I felt him beginning to pull away, but like a snake attacking its prey, my hand latched onto his and he froze.
“No.” I pulled his fingers slowly up to my lips and kissed them, letting my lips stick and linger onto each fingertip.
His eyes locked onto me and his bottom lip fell open. A real, infuriating fire had ignited in my stomach to think that no one in the whole goddamn school had fucked this boy. Then, the slow realization and excitement set in at the thought that I would be the first. I would be his first. And, boy, would I fuck out his brains.
My lips parted, and his fingers sunk into my mouth. My tongue toyed around them, gently sucking and nipping like a babe. His expression, astonished yet entranced, fueled me up to the brim. I imagined all the things I would do to him. All the things I’d let him do to me. God, no other thought had felt as sweet.
I pulled out his fingers and trailed them down my stomach towards the tenderness of my sex. His hand suddenly halted at the flimsy fabric of my panties, and he looked up.
“But, what if I’m—”
I shushed him, pressing his fingers to his own lips. “You won’t be. I trust you.”
He halted, gazing at me like I was the most beautifully written song in existence. I knew that look. I owned that look. Then, like I’d said the magic words, Rodrick’s fingers began to move with mine and crept closer and closer towards the edge of my panties. I knew he’d see how soaked I was for him. The pinkness bloomed across my cheeks at the very thought. But when his fingers finally slipped in and grazed my folds, I gasped and clamped down onto the bedsheets with my other hand.
“Fuck.”
Something snapped in Rodrick’s eyes. They darted back and forth between my panties and my grasping hand. He didn’t need a word. It wasn’t like I could utter one anyway. His other hand joined the party and began tugging my panties off until they collected at my ankles. I wriggled desperately, half of me needing his touch and the other half embarrassed for him to see me so…exposed. But, he just looked at my glistening sex then right back up at me.
“I was right…”
“What?” I whimpered, ready for his hand to start moving again. “What do you mean?”
He smiled and said, “You look like an angel.”
My legs liquified. I couldn’t stop staring. He was so wonderful. Worse, he was so real. He was so…Rodrick.
Finally, his fingers began their move, creeping over my sex and rubbing the outside, and slowly petting my folds. My clit ached to be touched, but part of me was sure he didn’t even know where it was. But there was something magnetic about the way he traced the soft pink of my flesh, soaking his fingers and drawing them back over me again.
“Fuck, Rodrick,” I moaned, biting the inside of my cheek and pressing my head into the mattress. And, when his fingers accidentally grazed across my clit, a guttural and high-pitched noise escaped from my lips—something I’d never heard before. My face flushed, and he stared back, shocked. The very edges of his lips tilted up. He liked it. No, he loved it. It was a dare. A challenge. And nothing would stop him now.
His fingers attacked the soft spot of my clit, tracing delicate and hardly innocent circles around the nub until I was ready to scream. His every movement followed around the small gasps and squeaks that snuck out of me. Every twist of my hips and thighs told him where to go, what to touch. Every moan ate him up and struck a devilish grin on his cheeks. But soon the aching inside of me and in my abdomen could be suppressed no longer. It wasn’t enough. I needed more of him.
I moaned his name, grabbing at his face and bringing him up closer to me. “I need you.”
His lips parted in a teasing smile, pulling away from me right when I craved him the most. “Need me?” he echoed, coyly and infuriatingly.
My head burned and every clenched muscle inside of me fought for complete control. Of course, he was enjoying this, enjoying finally seeing me unmasked and defenseless. Why did he have to be such a dick about it? Refusing to play around any longer, I grabbed onto Rodrick’s shoulders and released every bit of pent-up energy by flipping him underneath of me. His back hit the mattress, stunning and knocking the breath out of him.
“God,” he grunted, sucking in a sharp breath, “I forgot how strong you get.”
It brought a smile to my face and reminded me of the last time we were in this position—me straddling his hips and feeling the eager need underneath of me, his chest rising and falling against my palms. It was enough to light me on fire. My hands traced down his shoulders towards his chest. When they finally hooked onto his jeans, I watched his eyes shut tight and his brow furrow. My fingers undid the button. His breathing quickened and his lips formed a tight line. He was so warm in my hand, so ready. And that first touch stopped his breathing. His eyes snapped open like he was coming back to life. My hands explored, feeling his hardness and the heat radiating off of his thighs, pulling his jeans down slowly. I leaned my head down to his ear, whispering, “Is this what you wanted?…Me touching you?…Just like this?”
Rodrick said nothing, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut as he let himself become completely dazed. Only his breaths remained. And for a moment, I thought maybe he really was through the clouds until a moan passed his lips that stopped me. “Philly.”
It was a beautiful sound. One of the most amazing sounds I’d ever heard. It was musical, lyrical. The way he whispered my name like it’d always been there on his lips. I could hear him say it a million times over. I’d never ever get enough.
My stopped hand brought him out of his enchantment, his eyes blinking back open to find mine. A new worry spread over his face, and he lifted a hand to cup my head. “Hey…You okay?”
I barely nodded and said, “Say it again…My name.”
His face softened and he traced a thumb across my cheek. “Philly.”
A new feeling, one I craved more than any burning desire, glowed warmly in my chest. I could feel the glow in my cheeks, in my fingertips. I pressed a kiss to his lips, clinging on like this would be our last. And when we pulled back, his cheeks were glowing, too.
“Never stop saying it,” I whispered back, “Never.”
He smiled, still out of breath but ardent enough to say, “Shouldn’t be hard…” he said, running his thumb over the soft of my cheek once again, “With a name like that…you kinda stick out.”
ns 172.70.131.95da2