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Chapter 19— Homecoming
152Please respect copyright.PENANAV8vEnDELI5
A single red curl tumbled down the bare skin of my shoulder, landing comfortably on the edge of my dress. Or should I say Angie’s dress. The dark emerald green dress fit me far too comfortably. The silky, glossy fabric cut off across my thigh and hugged my waist tightly. The hemline dipped low into the cleavage of my chest, teasing just a bit more than Jenny Tyler ever would. And normally, that sort of thing would never fly. But, tonight was Homecoming. And I’d decided. Fuck Jenny Tyler.
“Final thoughts?” I chirped, flipping over the camera on my cell phone so that Valerie on the other end could get a look at my semi-formal getup.
“Wow…” Valerie sang, pulling her nose away from the camera to at last take in the full image. “Love the hair. Glad you finally decided to let it down.”
I smiled, touching my red curls that had been released from their typical braided bondage and tamed by my mother. “Thanks. It’s not too much, right?”
“I mean, I think it could use some piercings and maybe a leather jacket. But, you still look great.”
I smiled back at her through the screen, feeling the deep dread I’d been harboring fade for a brief moment.
“I miss you.”
Valerie winked. “Miss you too, Philly. By the way, you haven’t heard from Marcus recently, have you?”
“No, not since the interview.”
“Oh. He texted me the other day saying we should have a band meeting soon. I’m sure it’s just for interview logistics. He set me up doing a magazine interview last week, too.”
“Have fun?”
“You bet. My favorite part was when they asked me my bra size.”
Suddenly, my mom’s voice coming from downstairs broke our friendly banter. I’d been dreading all night to hear what she said. I turned back to Valerie, ignoring the furious fluttering in my stomach that made me want to puke. “Hey, um, I’ve gotta go. Call you tomorrow?”
“You know it. Have fun. Don’t get pregnant.”
I chuckled. “I won’t.”
“Oh, wait. You’re forgetting something.”
I furrowed my brows, taking a look in the mirror and noticing the missing piece. I drew my fake black glasses from my dresser drawer and slipped them on my face. And suddenly, what was supposed to be a fun Homecoming dance was now a Masquerade Ball.
I got off the video call with Valerie and braced myself for the next part. Each step down the stairs rolled shockwaves down my spine. The notorious fears and worries broke through any ounce of excitement I could possibly have had. And I just wanted to throw up. What if this all went wrong? What if he didn’t like the dress? What if he didn’t like…me?
Halfway down the stairs, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to imagine how different it had been nearly two months ago when I’d first arrived in Plainview. When my only care was making it through the day unnoticed.
“You new here?” I heard Rodrick say, like a whisper deep in the back of my mind. My eyes almost fluttered open at the languid sound of his voice. And the seductive smell of cigarette smoke wrapped me up like a blanket.
“Maybe,” I felt myself mouth back, almost instinctively.
“It’s kind of a small town,” he whispered back.I could feel his grin and the warmth of his fingers across my cheek—fingers I’d never even held. “Looking like that, you stick out.”
When I opened my eyes again, there he was. But, not the ridiculous punk boy who’d stolen a cigarette from my fingers. But, one who gazed back at me as if we’d never met before until that very moment. And in many ways, we hadn’t. Rodrick’s eyes, dark and wide, caught mine first and nearly trapped me. But, I saw that his flannels had been replaced by a white button-down that’d been rolled at the sleeves and a deep gray suit vest. He’d changed out his Converse and jeans for real dress shoes and slacks. He even wore a tie. The only remnant of the old Rodrick was the ruffled dark hair that always stuck up in every direction.
His hands were together in front of him, holding a small clear box that revealed a corsage of gorgeous red roses and white baby’s breath flowers. I took a few steps towards him, remembering to smile. He looked so different. So much…older. He couldn’t yet form a smile but eventually said, “You wore green.”
I softly smiled and pressed a hand to my dress, suddenly aware of my own appearance. “Yeah. It’s a friend’s.”
“You look beautiful.”
My stomach flipped, and I couldn’t help but stare back at him, feeling each of my worries slowly disappear. The edges of his lips turned up into a small smile but his wide eyes told a very different story.
“You both look great,” chirped my mom from the living room.
I instantly took a step back, remembering that we weren’t the only ones in the house. My mom was a bundle of excitement while my dad was steeped in pride and curiosity for who exactly Rodrick was. The pictures commenced, stiff and awkward as they were. And just as I’d begun to think that maybe there was no reason to worry, I felt Rodrick clam up beside me at the mention of getting to Homecoming. We left the house after a parade of typical parent-talk and vague threats from my father about my wellbeing.
The van door slammed shut on Rodrick’s side as the last of the dream-like haze left my body. Rodrick ran a nervous hand through his hair, laid his hands on the steering wheel, and stared ahead.
“Your parents are nice,” he said.
“Yeah…I think they just like you.” Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
“That’s good, right?” he tried.
I shrugged, staring ahead out of the van’s front windshield. “If you want it to be.” Man, I really shouldn’t have said that.
Rodrick was quiet for a few seconds, though I could hear his breath stuck in his throat. He started the van with a loud roar that probably scared the neighbors.
“Ready?”
“Ready.”
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152Please respect copyright.PENANAj04ScwE1B8
The cool night air prickled goosebumps all over my bare shoulders as we walked across the parking lot towards the rowdy school gymnasium. The only sound between Rodrick and I was the scuffing of his shoes against the asphalt and the muted click of my heels. It’d been similarly this quiet for the entire ride there. Thankfully, Rodrick had found a CD to play to ease the discomfort. Looking at Rodrick, I couldn’t tell what exactly was bothering him. His gaze strayed off into space and his movements were stiff and mechanical. Maybe it’s the suit, I told myself. That tie looks pretty uncomfortable.
Far off behind me, distant laughter separated my thoughts. Glancing behind, I saw a group of suited-up boys and three girls in sparkly cocktail dresses, hair perfectly straightened. Then, I saw the line of trucks nearby and realized it had to be Kurt Klein and his jock friends. And with him had to be Heather Hills. Only one thought crossed my mind at that moment. Poor Jeremy.
The school gymnasium was decorated like a Christmas tree, the electric lights glowing different colors in the darkness. Streamers and school-colored balloons decorated the bleachers. There was even a silver disco ball hung up high in the steel rafters. Loud pop music blared from the stadium speakers, the very ones used to announce fouls and goals for basketball games. Each surface, from the walls to the photo booths, seemed to vibrate Katy Perry. A hoard of students decked out in a rainbow of colors filled the gymnasium. Many of them took to the dance floor, moving their bodies in ways the chaperones were sure to despise. Some freshman kids I’d seen in the halls were playing the role of a wallflower, watching the beautiful chaos from the sidelines. Others drifted from place to place, either searching for dark corners to make out in or trying to find a way to conceal their flasks. Rodrick cast his eyes to the colorful chaos, and I wondered, if I wasn’t here, which kind would he be?
“Jenny!” exclaimed a familiar voice from one of the bleachers. Down the steps, Angie came pattering down, dressed in a vibrant blue gown that fell all the way to her feet. The blue streaks in her hair had been freshly dyed to match her dress. She looked, in a word, stunning. And so so happy.
I smiled at the sound of her voice as she ran up to my side, taking my hands in hers.
“God, look at you. I knew that color would be perfect on you. You look like a model.”
“Well, I guess that makes two of us,” I agreed, letting the warmth in my heart light up my cheeks. “You look amazing.”
Angie took the opportunity to smooth down her dress and look over herself. “You think so? I was so nervous about tonight that I bought two different dresses. I didn’t know which one would look better with Jeremy’s eyes.”
I smirked and mentally rolled my eyes. “Speaking of Jeremy, where is he?”
“Oh, in the bathroom. He’ll be back soon.”
A quiet moment passed between the three of us as Angie suddenly remembered the third person silently standing beside me. Angie took a step back to fully look Rodrick up and down. Her ecstatic smile slowly fell as a more judgmental scowl took over her face. Rodrick, on the other hand, seemed just about as uncomfortable as you could get, darting his eyes between the two of us and shoving his hands in his pockets. It was then that I remembered what I’d told Angie about Rodrick and me—about how I was taking Rodrick to Homecoming solely out of pity. That familiar feeling of guilt crept its way back in.
“Oh,” I piped up, just now coming to this realization as well. “Angie, I don’t know if you’ve met Rodrick yet.”
“—You’re Greg’s brother, right?” she cut in.
Rodrick cleared his throat quickly before saying, “Yeah. You know him?”
Angie crossed her arms. “We’re friends. Just like I’m Jenny’s friend. Also, I’m on the yearbook team. So, I’m pretty good at doing my research.”
I glared daggers at Angie and mouthed for her to cut it out. I didn’t need her scaring away a guy who already seemed to be looking for an exit.
“That’s…cool…?” he said, confusion straining his voice.
After a few more seconds of me and Angie’s unspoken argument, Angie’s demeanor suddenly changed. Her face went blank and pale white as she stared at something over my shoulder. I followed her gaze and found Kurt Klein and Heather Hills crossing the threshold, smug and prideful looks on both of their faces. Immediately, Angie asked to pull me aside and led me over to the bleachers, a strong grip on my wrist.
“What is she doing here?!” Angie whispered fiercely, fire lighting up her eyes.
I glanced back over my shoulder again. “I don’t know. I saw them in the parking lot. Heather must be doing this as some sort of power move. Or maybe it’s Kurt. I don’t know.”
Angie stifled a frustrated groan and kicked the side of bleachers with her rounded heels. She winced and squeezed her eyes shut in annoyed pain. “Jeremy is gonna freak if he sees them here. He’s just now getting over her and I don’t know what I’ll do if he—”
“Hey, Jenny,” came a voice behind us. We both spun around to see Jeremy, dressed up in a nice suit and his hair perfectly combed.
“Jeremy!” I squawked a little too loudly. I tried positioning myself as best I could in front of Kurt and Heather. “You look great. Nice tie.”
He looked down at his silver and blue ornate tie and adjusted his glasses. “Oh, thanks. You look pretty great, too.”
The Katy Perry music came to a stop and the lights shifted to a warm purple color as a slow Jason Mraz song started over the speakers. Jeremy curiously admired the romantic scenery. The lights glinted off of the surface of his glasses and he raised a hand to block the glare. And it was at that moment that a brilliant idea hit me. Well, maybe a somewhat brilliant idea. And it would maybe only halfway work.
“You know,” I continued, sending a telling look towards Angie, “I think the yearbook would be robbed if it didn’t have a great photo of its president and his right-hand girl at Homecoming together, right?”
Jeremy unsurely looked between the two of us as I took out my phone. “Oh, um, sure. Believe it or not, as much as I work on the yearbook, I’m never in it all that much,” he laughed.
I chuckled back and gestured for the both of them to stand closer together before snapping a photo.
“Um,” I said, faking a concerned look, “Jeremy, I think your glasses have some glare. Must be from all the lights. I can hold them for you real quick.”
“Oh.” He paused, slipping the large Buddy Holly glasses off his face, “Okay.”
A perfectly timed slip of the wrist later and the glasses hit the floor, the right lens popping out and sliding under the bleachers. Perfect.
“Oh my gosh,” I exclaimed, feigning shock in my voice. “I’m so sorry. I’m such a klutz.”
Angie and Jeremy crouched onto the gym floor, picking up the remains of the glasses. Their hands scuttled across the dark floor, searching for the missing lens. But, a single touch occurred between their hands—an innocent touch that made them both look up at one another. They held one another’s gaze for what seemed like forever before Angie said in barely a whisper, “I love this song.”
Jeremy blinked a few times, his eyes unmoving. “You wanna dance?”
Angie nodded and they both smiled. As they drifted off to join the slow-dancing couples in the middle of the gymnasium, I felt a strange mixture of emotions filling me up. Pride, happiness, relief. But, also a bittersweet longing. They were awkward at first, unsure of where to put their hands on one another. But, they soon found it for themselves. And maybe it was because Jeremy couldn’t see anything, but he leaned so close into Angie. I didn’t stay much longer to watch the two but instead looked back to the end of the bleachers and found Rodrick sitting alone.
“Hey,” I said as I sat beside him. I could hardly see his face in the dimness, lit only by a soft purple glow, but I could feel him looking back at me.
“Your friend’s a little scary.”
I smirked and teased back, “She can be.”
And for the first time that night, I saw Rodrick smile. Not his big toothy smile, but a smaller one that calmed some of my twisted nerves. I looked back at Angie and Jeremy on the dance floor, had another brilliant idea, and stood up.
“Hey, I know Homecoming dances are lame. But, do you wanna—maybe—dance?”
Rodrick looked back at me, a troubled look darkening his face. He held his hands together and shifted uncomfortably. “Um, I don’t know if that would be such a great idea…”
My heart dropped—dropped low in my chest—and my face fell. It felt as though someone had ripped out my lungs for a moment. And all of my fears were confirmed.
“Oh,” I mumbled, every thought screaming in my mind for me to run away. “Alright.”
We were quiet, devastatingly quiet. And it seemed like, in a single moment, we were once again strangers and nothing from before amounted to anything. I couldn’t help but think, Maybe I really did make all of it up.
I left Rodrick’s side without another word and quickly escaped into the girl’s bathroom, locking myself in an empty stall.
You’re not going to cry. You’re not going to cry. You’re not going to cry.
The words repeated in my brain on a constant loop and acted as the only thing keeping me from completely falling apart. The tears threatened to spill over my cheeks. And I found I was balling up my dress so tightly in my fists that my knuckles were going white. Why did I let myself get so caught up in him? He was an idiot. He was arrogant. He was selfish.
And, stupidly, I’d let myself believe that, for a little while, he was so much more than that.
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