I prayed for this time to be easier. I wished that this time won’t be as hard as the last time we broke up but the hole in my chest was there again. And it hurt.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8Tm6udgy5
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His words still echo in my mind; his reply, that I loved him enough to make him love me back. Some nights, when I feel weak, those words run through my head again and again, like a broken old vinyl. And a giant “what if” is tattooed in my mind. What if he really meant it? What if he really did love me after all? What if?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaibu4mmLeF
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At this point I would toss and turn in my bed, torturing myself with questions. It was the worst part of the day; the part where I would be most weak and vulnerable. I was trying to keep myself from sending him a message. Just an “I miss you” would do enough damage to me. I didn’t know what his response would be but I broke up with him for a reason. He cheated twice. It was enough.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2ZB6edsxI
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I pushed the sheets off of my body and got up. I threw my mobile on the couch, got my car keys, wore my sandals and left the garage. I was wearing only a tanktop and a short but it didn’t care; where I was headed I didn’t need to put on an outfit. I just wanted to be away from my phone.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YFEJiKYHg
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I stopped at the red light. There was a car beside me but the sad song coming from the speakers distracted me.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuWxIQmG3L
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“..how do you love with a faith full of rust, how do you turn what the savage take..”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60aGSyE3Cw
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I groaned and pushed play on the CD.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4FC9kQmO6
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“..I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been It's your right and your ability to become my perfect enemy..”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcLrEs2vQ2
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That’s more like it. I would rather be angry at him; fantasizing a revenge. I wouldn't go any further than I already have -sending a girl to have sex with him and report back was enough- but imagining that I could yell at him and hating made me feel better. The moment my eye caught sight of the green light the driver from the car next to mine pushed his horn. I didn’t turn to see why.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlb1NRJPgyC
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As Metallica followed the previous song, I didn’t hear anything else but the music as I drove to the clearing in the middle of the night. I turned off the engine but kept the music on. I hate silence.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt4n4ZVxqz
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I pushed back my seat and crossed my legs on it; leaning back. I closed my eyes and tried to lose myself in the music. I heard tires on the road behind and my eyes snapped open. Who would drive here at 3 o’clock in the morning? The first thing I did was to push down the locks. Then I turned my eyes on the review mirror to see the car. The driver had the lights on so I didn’t have any luck.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Uqe2AEdsr
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The car came into a stop right next to mine and I could look at the car and the driver. I furrowed my eyebrow in confusion but in relief also. It was Damien.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsgFglSLhs
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I saw him getting out of the car and walking towards my door. I unlocked the door and opened it; getting out just as he came closer.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nmjXYDYEf
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“Hey,” he said and stopped behind the opened door.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhTEMhYgHS
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“Hey,” I replied, confused “What are you doing here?”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCO9Mtg5e8u
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“What are you doing here?” he asked “Its 3 o’clock in the morning!” he said.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlt6OFbCIM
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“Who made you my dad?” I scoffed. What’s with him? I sat back in my seat, my legs bended on the door frame. He came at the other side of the door, so he was now standing in front of me.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgN97ULtY21
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“Sorry,” He apologized, seating on his lap “I just saw you at the red light and I was worried and you weren’t answering your phone so I followed you,” he explained while I was looking anywhere but him.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxGI47Vxiv
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“Oh that was you,” I said, realizing that he was the driver next to me earlier. “My phone is at home,” I mumbled.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFtpv2g8Jt
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He didn’t speak for another minute or two. He got up and right when I though he was leaving, he walked across my car and opened the passenger’s seat and sat next to me. I turned towards the wheel; sitting straight.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQP6FFG3y1
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“How are you?” he asked. I sighed deeply, not wanting to answer. I didn’t want to cry over Alex in front of Damien again.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1cnC7DCru
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“I'm alive,” I replied looking at my folded legs before me “How are you?” I asked.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRvzgoVlUp
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“I'm alive.”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjoEP0kW0m
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“What? Problems at the honeymoon suit?” I chuckled; remembering his girlfriend.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSEp1CXeEk
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“Something like that,” he replied his tone serious; unlike mine.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2N8TJgZ83
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“Don’t worry. It will pass,” I said, painting my voice with false hope “As long as she doesn’t cheat,” didn’t manage to mask my bitter tongue here.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAf7z0ZQpl
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“It’s not her. It’s me,” he mumbled.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0Bjv2BPEW
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“Why?” I asked “If you want to tell me of course,” I added quickly. I saw him flinch at my question.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDZ5VJLoIT
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“How can you be like that? Seriously,” he snapped; turning towards me.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡel7gvwfH93
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“What do you mean?” I asked confused.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDo366lKS6D
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“Like that!” he motioned towards me “After everything that happened and you still keep the act,” I still couldn’t understand what he was saying. I kept quiet, too scared to ask him again what he meant.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0f7qTHwPck
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“I’ve kissed you twice and both times you kissed me back,” he began “And even with all the staring…” I shifted my torso “You’re…” I didn’t let him finish, grabbed his face in my hands and crushed my lips onto his. I felt his shock but as I parted my lips, he relaxed and parted his lips too; his tongue entering my mouth.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTm8gwFwX0I
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As soon as I realized that I was actually kissing Damien, that I was the one that made the first move; a moan escaped my throat. But I didn’t care; I was too emotionally tired to feel shy. He broke the kiss and pushed back the seat; pulling me on top of him. I thanked my old car for the wide seats and put one leg on either side of him as our lips met again. He put one hand on my hip and the other on the back of my neck; through my hair.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87ld5NWvfj
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I loved this man. I loved everything about him. The way he made me laugh, the way he teased me, the way he looked in the morning, his beautiful eyes, his touch, his lips, his sweet taste. A sigh escaped my lips and he pulled me even closed to his body. He pushed me away suddenly and I looked at him confused.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiT1mu61WBs
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“What’s wrong?” I asked.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWcAc9p4Ts
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“Sorry,” he chuckled “but if we keep this up, I won’t be able to drive home,” he grinned.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKgaZpjams
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“You don’t have any condoms with you?” I asked and he raised his eyebrows. I think I surprised him with my bluntness.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4McFfov3k
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“No,” he winced. I smiled and kissed him again before returning to my seat. If he kept this going, I would go all the way. That’s what I was thinking at least. I don’t know what I would do when the time would come.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7xn5BF76X
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Thankfully things came that way though. I didn’t want for this to happen like this. I wanted it to be great; because with him everything felt right. The hole in my chest didn’t exist.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejU3fh2Zxw
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[+++]500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJeE1ts3RL
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“You look funny,” Max said; looking at me as I joined him at the backyard. I found him sitting at the table next to the pool, drinking his afternoon coffee.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4TrpWhukp
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“Excuse me?” I raised my eyebrows as he removed his RayBan sunglasses.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpYcfVTsMd
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“Something happened? You look weird,” he replied with a question. Damn. Was it that obvious?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7O41SGO1L
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“No,” I lied “I'm just feeling better,” I half smiled and sat down beside him.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUaFGsVRcp
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“That’s good,” Max nodded and put the glasses back on his face. With the corner of my eye I’d noticed Damien passing through the kitchen door.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ESosYbdIm
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“I'm going to get something to drink,” I told Max and he nodded. I needed to see what Damien’s behavior would be. Then, I would know if I had to freak out about Cleo and Max and whether I would tell them or not.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlkJdjmX4r
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My question was answered as I entered the kitchen and his face light up. It was good to see that I made him feel like that.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziFqaCTKZn
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“Hello,” I greeted him; smiling as I walked to the fridge. I still wasn’t sure though.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3umvWI1eg5
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“Hello to you too,” he replied as I opened the door. He came behind me to return the juice bottle. He put one hand on the small of my back and kissed my shoulder before returning where he was. My heart was bouncing.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1ypZk8Yw7
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“Hey sweety,” I heard Cleo calling from behind me. If my heart was bouncing before; it was nothing compare to this. Did she saw Damien kissing my shoulder? Doubt it. She would say something if she saw him.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYuuDpfpVp
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“Hi,” I said and grabbed the juice bottle. I closed the fridge and smiled at her. I felt Damien’s eyes on my face before he walked to the door that led to the living room.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHvy4fMAZs
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“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Cleo asked me, taking the juice bottle from next to my glass on the kitchen counter. I didn’t have the time to answer for Damien returned to the kitchen.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqo04wXXDl
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“Oh, Ladybug, I have a book that you might like. Come up to my room for a second,” he motioned towards the stairs with his head.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeuruTG0Fb
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“In a bit,” Cleo asked for me.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuV8N1KzXbo
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“In a bit,” I repeated and he disappeared from the doorway.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSjVrknYEK
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“So?” Cleo asked.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmA9abvzCk
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“Let’s go for a beer at “Johnny’s,”” I suggested “I need a healthy dose of metal and beer,” I smiled sheepishly; making her laugh.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zCdnTu0Dz
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“You mean you need to get drunk.”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK7ipn5A1W
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“Yehh...and metal music shaking my bones,” I said with the same tone. It’s been a while since we last went at my favorite bar. I need the loud music to ease my brain.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqoNHHt7oo
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“Done,” She nodded with a smirk as I walked towards the doorway that led to their rooms.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBu7SElV6ho
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“Where’re you going?” she asked confused “Max is out back.”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlfUNAVYQW
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“You know, the guy that stood in the doorway before wasn’t a hologram,” I mocked.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrV8KKa5Qg
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“Oh yeah. Right,” she laughed and went out the kitchen door.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5xcnFVD5S
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I went up the stairs and to Damien’s room thinking about Cleo and her reaction if she found out about last night. What am I going to do?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AvaQdXIFd
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Okay. First things first; let’s see what Damien thinks. I knocked on his door and when I heard his soft voice replying and the door opened. He was standing right next to it, looking at his bookshelf.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxyRphEheQ
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“Hey,” I smiled and closed the door behind me.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYbhgqZ24N
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“Hey Ladybug,” he grinned. That was a good or a bad sign? I didn’t know.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7tJc3CQZq
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“Here,” he said and gave me an architectural book. There really was a book then. He sat on his couch and looked at me as I sat down on his bed; three meters away from where he was seated.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDbwvelVkm
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I was seating as far away as possible. We almost had sex last night you stupid stupid man and you giving me a book? I opened the book and take a look at the designs.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu7X56pUXb
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“Cool,” I mumbled.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyY5vsVLrYT
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“You can sit outside the room if you want,” he said sarcastically and I looked up at him.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJEJe7zY9V
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“Huh?”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksobfjHdpa
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“Come here,” he sighed. I stood up and sat next to him on the couch; keeping my eyes in the pages of the colorful book. I was feeling awkward.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycSXYtunFB
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“Really nice,” I smiled.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOY5BjIlQJ
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“You can have it.”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgv8yY9mcMh
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“What?” I looked at him. This was a huge book, probably 600 pages, it must worth a lot.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjIW6D3gJJ
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWP1pXqJvWV
“You can have it.”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAz8fDRJRDm
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“No,” I shook my head and he was about to protest “I'm here all the time anyway, I can borrow it anytime,” I explained. He didn’t reply.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWJY03c7To
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I licked my bottom lip in frustration and the moment I looked away, his lips crashed onto mine; his hands on either side of my face. I gasped as I felt his soft lips on mine. I kissed him back for a little bit before I pushed him away and covered my lips with the back of my palm.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHZs61rrFd
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“What’s wrong?” he asked.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPBsQWVhoT
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“Max and Cleo are downstairs,” I mumbled.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FjcGTSa99
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“So?”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuN38RdDj3m
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“Are you kidding me?” my eyes widened and he shook his head. “Cleo will probably stop talking to me if she finds out.”500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbY1Bd4fZ9w
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“So, I guess, I can’t say anything,” he said.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfPwYaZ0WF
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“Of course not,” I said and then I remembered something “Um, don’t you have a girlfriend?” I raised an eyebrow.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSd3A6ij27M
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“I'm breaking up with her tonight,” he said simply.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1QA7jRKIf
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“What? Why?” I panicked. His eyes moved away from me; widening like the reasons where obvious.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zOlTqCJNq
500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZeKdKZfON
“Because of me?” I asked and stood up “No. No,” I shook my head. What if he didn’t like me? He knew me since we were kids, yes, but he didn’t knew me all that well.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQSoA3rkT0
What if he suddenly realized that he didn’t liked me and regretted breaking up with his girlfriend?500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOprYS0nmiJ
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“Fine,” he said and for a moment my heart fell. I didn’t want him to break up with her because of me but it would be nice thing to do.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2t2w7xqiY
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“I'm not breaking up with her because of you,” he continued. Again my heart fell. “Does that sound better to you?” he mocked and I smiled.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnk4YdBSP4
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“You’re such a clown,” he chuckled as he caught my smile.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSt380Co28f
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“I'm sorry. It’s just…I’ve been cheated,” I explained “Twice,” I narrowed my eyes as the thought.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKGpWlr3P8
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“Yeah, I understand,” He nodded and got up.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VBoFyb6iU
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“We’re going at “Johnny’s” tonight,” I began as I walked to the door “Come if you want, though it will be weird, since I’ll be with Max and Cleo,” I winced.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUvhyD4UWm
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“I’ll see how it will go tonight and probably text Max in the honor of the secrecy,” he smiled.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRatJ2rqPu
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“Okay,” I smiled and put my hand on the handle.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGcjKeRP9N
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“Hey,” he stopped me and I turned around to look at him. He put his palm against my cheek and kissed my lips; my heart rate increasing. He pulled away and smiled. I had no idea what we were from now on.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWWP5g4m3Y
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He did, made it at “Johnny’s” that night. I was leaning against the wall with my cold beer in my hand and Damien was next to me, eyeing me and teasing me. But then again, he was always teasing me.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBrpYsxais
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However, I noticed Cleo giving us some weird looks but I hoped it was my imagination combined with the alcohol. Still, the thought that she looked at me weird didn’t help my courage enough. I was sure she wouldn’t approve.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguSJOArIw0
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I remember two years ago, when we were all at a party and Damien was teasing me like usual and someone asked if I was his girlfriend.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0USF9rWXvV
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“No,” Cleo had exclaimed. I could still remember her tone. Like she was saying “Her? No way!.” I was hurt so badly that night that I decided that it was over. No matter what feelings I had for Damien, I should get over them and move on.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmTZJYWG58
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But what about now? Now that he liked me too? What she would say now? What if she stopped talking to me? I know her my whole life. She’s like my sister. I guess I wasn’t good enough for her big brother. I didn’t know what else to think.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziGbT3w0nC
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For now I would keep this a secret and hoped for the best moment to tell her. But tell her what? That I’m seeing her brother? I would wait and see where things with Damien will go first and then try and find the right time to tell Cleo. And Max.500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpJjBgTEHG
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Title Credit:500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYsC52p6Is
Gravity by The Perfect Circle500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXldvPpjej
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This is one of my favorites, when they finally get to be together a bit mor than usual...what do you think??500Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiRt7fNsgM
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Merry Christmas I wish to you all and I hope you'll have a great time! :)
