I woke up at eleven in the morning, had breakfast and left for home. The drive back was easier, mostly because I was so excited to see Damien after three days.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡye8M9CJTKU
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX7wu4Bazm
I was planning on going home, do laundry and find Cleo. I wanted to try and talk to her one more time. We were best friends since we were babies, her opinion meant the world to me and I wanted to be clear about that; even if she haven’t contacted me at all since I left town.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCrrN1ausA
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42wtr9q2iu
As soon as I arrived I went towards my parents kitchen; not even bothering going into my garage.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwCKh7Llo6
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63ZakJ2a5m
“Hello,” I greeted my mom as I entered the kitchen from the back door.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIXVnwCjXl
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLKfhzCt8Z
“Welcome home baby,” mom replied “How are you?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScaCuSTkbR
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU13V4tX7O6
“Fine, you?” I smiled and left my bag on the floor.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWuZ0QYxb4
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LPJ6fbeD8
“Got dirty clothes?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83Y4Omxoef
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMhaxphZFv
“Yup,” I grinned “Why aren’t you at the office?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLzVeLat4D
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZ2O04OtbR
“Have to visit a client in a bit,” she explained and narrowed her eyes when she noticed I was smiling at her. “Don’t look at me like that, do laundry yourself.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKexPB3xZtJ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxmC2NeO1W
“Fine,” I groaned and I retrieved my bag before walking towards her. I kissed her cheek as I passed her by and exited the kitchen. I turned right and entered the laundry room. I left the bag on the ground once again and took my mobile out of my back pocket. I dialed Damien’s number and put it on speaker phone. His phone was disconnected. I put the phone back into my pocket thinking he must be at work.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSY7DDua4VM
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8QAlJM22x
After putting all my clothes into the washing machine I sat in the kitchen with my mom until she left for work. I tried calling Damien again and like earlier his phone was disconnected. I sat into my parent’s living room to watch some television, though I should probably be into my garage and try and study.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Xr52weoGd
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6zD4mLOds
I dialed Max’s number and put the phone on speaker. It took three rings before he picked up.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhjEoozB7b
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB94rgcu9Wi
“Hey,” he breathed, sounding weird.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0I8eESP806
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw91vDJrkJ4
“Hello to you too,” I frowned a little bit “Are you okay?” I asked referring to his weird greeting.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYW1PK3ebV
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp71XLE5dKz
“I’m okay, how are you?” he asked, still sounding weird.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVxUOehVjS
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvMj7A5bRd
“Fine,” I replied “Where are you? I’m home!” I smiled. He didn’t reply for a moment.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4q8sZAWVV
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu3XQdRt5T
“Fuck,” he mumbled “Dude, I’m gonna have to call you back,” he said; the word rushing out of his mouth.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnhGlMcrmL
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVITrTfClG
“Okay, don’t be late because I’m so bored!” I replied and hung up. I wanted to call Cleo but something stopped me. So I texted her instead. “I’m back home, if you want a coffee.” I remained on that couch until three o’clock in the afternoon when Max finally called me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gPwX5ReHm
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi74Kk0pXni
“Hey, “ he breathed “Offer still stands?” he asked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTYwPRMoc6
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswFelbgK6W
“Of course,” I replied “Come over!”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0mEtXSgl1
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUxsfKZLjw
Max turned up soon afterwards. He said Cleo was trying to finish a project that she working on since I left. She was trying to keep herself occupied as I understood.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJn5QpCiyIU
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡallpDYOwtM
He told me she had a date with Mike two nights ago and that she looked very optimistic. It looked like Max was trying to avoid mentioning Damien, so I left it at that, doing the very same thing but not really understanding the reason.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmc2Ttzb8v1
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehHGmPcE8T
About an hour later, that I still haven’t heard from Damien, my mom returned home. I refused to cook for myself because I was cooking the whole time I was living with James, so her arrival made me extra happy.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSjPe1Nh9A
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlai3R67xw3
I was sitting with Max in the kitchen sofa playing cards until the food was ready. Thankfully mom had prepared the meat and now I only had to wait half an hour until it was grilled. At some point I heard mom talking on the phone, telling someone to bring a soda for us. A while later Evita, the twin’s mother, walked through the kitchen door.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh02AUSKhti
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL78PjLWXs4
“Hello guys,” she greeted us “Welcome Erica.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBC03Omjv9e
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA893vzNu7S
“Hello Aunt,” I smiled and got up to take the soda that she put on the kitchen counter. “How are you?” I smiled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqt4TgOiXj
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIWwEyyPiy
“Here,” my mom said at the same time and left some money on the counter.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrhm15U4m5
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72bxXskLwn
“Don’t even think about it,” Evita replied to her. “I’m still trying to digest the fact that my baby left again,” she sighed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8Evb9X2hA
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnAQxVZJwR
“Which baby left?” I frowned with a half smile as I walked towards the cupboard with the glasses. Max was here. Cleo was at home. That only left one person that could leave…422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTgoG2IAm0
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytsKV721QG
“Damien,” and a deep sigh escaped her chest the same time the realization hit me. My heart fell. I blinked; staring at the shelves. My chest started going up and down quickly as my heartbeat increased. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took one glass in my hands.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGe52Xeb0zo
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyRVppSmpY
“Wasn’t he supposed to leave in two weeks?” I asked trying to sound as casual as possible. I took another glass out of the cupboard and opened up the soda bottle.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenhYZit7sK
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5uihRMDU7
“Yeah,” Evita said “But he said he got a call this morning at work from some friends and he’s meeting them in Rome before going in Tuscany,” she explained. I felt a strong pain in my chest as I tried to keep the tears back.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZW2bQzSB9
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMsVGIjpMl
“That’s nice,” I noted and put the soda into the fridge; never turning my head towards Evita or my mom. I wanted to keep my expression hidden because I didn’t even know how I looked like.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvEaGBqw5K
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMDfy6Tzza
“You kids should go and visit, using those tickets he got you for your birthday,” she suggested as I was walking towards Max.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyA5yzgccS
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl0Ou49zHq
“Maybe after their exams,” my mom spoke. I put the soda on the table in front of Max, never looking at him.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX79GNuwgNG
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEq8so9ZBhT
“Yeah, after the exams,” I replied and sat down with my back towards the kitchen. I didn’t care if Max saw me crying, but I didn’t want Evita to see me. I took a deep breath and focused on my cards.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDfml5kaAo
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoMZdzBWlt
“Your turn,” I said to Max. He didn’t move for a moment.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Qf3fn36SE
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DHY3DEDg1
“Yeah,” he breathed after a while and put a card down. I sipped my soda and took a deep breath. I couldn’t stop staring at my phone. We haven’t even finished the game when I grabbed it from the table and dialed Damien’s number.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmba62nIZno
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkud1Yk9DB
Nothing. His phone was disconnected. My breathing started to increase and I leaned forward, touching my elbows on my knees, as I tried to calm myself down. “Why would he leave like that? Things were fine last night” I was thinking over and over again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdOKbNxEea
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqZM0hzTVV
My mom approached us then, holding two plates with grilled chicken and left them on the table. I thanked her, not really talking, and pulled the plate in front of me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN42KCYcjrn
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVlAraGQQV
[+++]422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXg5c0GruJ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJQN4oi9lu
Max closed the door behind us as we walked into the renovated garage. I took small steps towards the bed and sat down; my chest aching.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjshiLF9iJC
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YyVkoDGN9
“Did he…” I breathed “Did he really left?” I frowned looking at Max for the first time.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCRKom8KSG
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4vjMSh4eO
“Fuck,” he mumbled and leaned against the door “You didn’t know. He said everything’s okay,” Max frowned.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtLa1maXJG
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MXYh1WD1r
“When did he say that?” I asked; my voice fainted.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHKH4AZPU6
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZynaSp9Ug
“He woke me up this morning,” Max breathed and took a step from the door “And said he’s leaving. I asked where he’s going because I got confused because I knew he went into the office this morning and he said that he got a call from a friend and that he’s meeting his old buddies in Rome before going up to Tuscany,” Max explained like he knew I needed to hear the story one more time.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIsNTCP0CM
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4fbaSatqS
He walked towards me as he spoke again “I followed him to the door and I asked if you knew about this,” he said and finally sat down beside me. I swallowed. “He said “everything’s okay kid”, hugged me, hugged Cleo and left,” he breathed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTRKLaxXGk
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GGOfo2TjM
I couldn’t speak. Everything was fine last night. He was excited that I was finally coming back home. What could possibly change overnight? Or if nothing changed, and everything was okay why he left without calling or texting? Or at least answering his phone?422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3C3WIyHKQ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0HfXlqOJ7
“I…” I stuttered “We spoke last night…” I breathed. “I don’t understand,” I whispered and pulled back on the bed, pulling my legs against my chest. Max turned towards me and put his hand on my ankle; stroking my skin with his thumb.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5nN5188pj
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7C6XAaTnvi
“I’ll talk to him. He’ll call sooner or later,” he said.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5kdEztdQm
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ3OsiqzYP
“No, no,” I rapidly shook my head.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnf3TaFIMe
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquP4uZgeFk
“Why not?” Max frowned.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrBjrhrt3W
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw1hRj6XIM
“Don’t get involved please,” I shook my head again but slowly this time.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiUPq1Ucjr
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwCOc6xQrE
“I wanna know too,” he blinked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvmp00rsCR
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpONLPr3t5
“Please don’t. For the past two months I’ve been trying to keep this casual, like I wasn’t dating your brother. You getting involved will cancel all that out,” I explained.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIfO8WXwiA
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFS0SvFxhqP
The truth was that I was afraid. I didn’t want him to feel pressure about anything. If his brother got involved he would probably feel pressured and that would pushed him further away from me. If it was possible to be further apart.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJqvXtRpWf
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq1R7OzX5Z
[+++]422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFECDyY59Ih
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzWDsE7TPJ
I should have left. I should have taken the chance to go away for university. Then none of this would have happened. Even if I have taken up on Alex’s offer. I wouldn’t have stayed and Alex wouldn’t have broken my heart and most importantly I wouldn’t be around to fall in love with Damien once again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziWh4KEyie
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRtkFpioUu
It hurt so badly. What I was feeling now was nothing compared to how I felt when Alex cheated or when we broke up. My heart was shuttered into a million little pieces inside my chest and everytime I had a thought of him it was like those little pieces cut through my flesh; burning my insides and killing me even more in the process.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkLlrHaYir
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡom7PCYjs6a
I even made my mother cry when she came to check on me that day. And it hurt more. I was avoiding the mirrors because I didn’t want to see how I looked like. The way I felt was enough.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQcee0Bw9s
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4i7bsYHHcN
There were moments that I couldn’t understand why he would leave like this. Moments that I was going insane, running our last conversations over and over and over again into my mind trying to find what went wrong. And I would pick up the phone and dial his number.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NlKTz1s7m
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2mIxRtPIs
He never answered; even if the phone was now working, two days after he left. And why would he? We didn’t belong together. I wasn’t enough. Why would he stay with me? It was a miracle we even had those two months together. I should be happy I had those two months. I should be happy I got to taste his bittersweet lips, stare into his mesmerizing grey eyes. Deep down I was glad I never got to tell him how I really felt because he would probably laugh.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8Pmnu5YOu
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4MCm2B5ZY
But what about all those times he held me into his arms and stared into my eyes? The times when he wanted me to say I was his. Why would he do that if he never cared? Or when he assured me that he would never cheat on me. Why would he do that? He knew I hated big words. He knew I hated promises and yet he would say those things.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZofpWNCgF
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XA9wJZ3aj
Every time the phone rang my heart fluttered. But it was never him and the soft pain in my chest returned again. Max was calling regularly to check on me; trying to get me out of the house. Cleo had texted me, asking if I was okay but I wasn’t ready for her or the outside world yet.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOz9qyOVgy
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzckdpQ039
Only the third day I got up from the bed and opened my laptop, trying to slowly have a connection with the outside world. Yesterday and the day before that my mother came home from work to cook and bring me food; that only made me feel more pathetic but I never argued.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJNAVY9LwN
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0VXbbvlsr
After I was done eating and I was ready to sit on the couch and ignore the world around me, including my examinations, my phone rang. My heart fluttered but fell when I saw that it wasn’t him. It was Alex. I had completely forgotten about him.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LkLkobqqC
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZCzCkZezT
“Hello,” I answered; my voice completely lifeless.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zsPZD8QUe
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkO8xErS78o
“Hello,” he said slowly and I could hear the frown on his features “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding anxious. I breathed sharply.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtLAJTrJjq
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs87Bk8M2gd
“Yes,” I lied automatically.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4pbD6ZYI7
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRwHIm4Ztb
“I thought that by now you’d know better than to lie to me, love,” he said softly.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjsdDTY88R
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1SOKr8x0K
“I’m not in the mood Alex,” I replied; the impatience coloring my voice.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Axp6yCOyK
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSv0cWhAQGO
“I’m coming to pick you up,” he said but by the time I refused he had already hung up the phone.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN3wUYfR7Z
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmiZQT7ySX
He arrived sooner than expected; right when I was done getting ready. Not that I made an effort. I just put on a pair of jeans and a simple black top. Thankfully it was daytime and I could hide my red puffy eyes under my black sunglasses.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKS2GUxGrc
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡla2xhsOWCj
I greeted him heartlessly as I sat beside him in the black Aston Martin. He breathed a greeting back and never spoke again until we were at the mansion.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbt7FrWpYj
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceDvG3ixf3
“When did you arrived?” I asked as we got out of the car.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23ClLWYDUV
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNthpnA8fn0
“This morning,” he replied as he walked beside me towards the double doors of the entrance. “How did you know?” he smiled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrwPcSFiUa
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKp6apWmMPU
“You came too fast,” I made an attempt to smile but failed. Smiling felt strange. He looked at me for a moment and then turned around, opening the door and walked inside.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVia1imMN2
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeKclCXPIN
I never thought that I could talk to Alex so freely about what I felt. Maybe it was because when we were together it was the only thing I never wanted to do. But I didn’t care anymore. I knew he wouldn’t judge me for having feelings for Damien.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdpmI0wds8
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡct2ugdRGBB
When, at some point, I burst into tears he pulled me into his arms and held me there. And as he kept me I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have talk to him at all. Three days ago our positions were reversed, maybe it was selfish talking to him; after all he had his own problems to deal with. I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiIZsv61kZ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq0ZNTfknS
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3f8tLER28
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFzhzxEEEA
“I’m better, thank you,” I swallowed and pushed my fist against my chest, trying to ease the pain. “How are you?” I looked at him, trying to keep my mind occupied. I saw him looking at my hand that was against my chest before looking at my eyes.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3lRp2I5Fh
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEt9mtk6jp
“I’m better too,” he smiled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEazSstKm2
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdh6szaYTb
“Have you gone to the cemetery?” I asked. He turned forward and looked at the floor, brushing his face with his fingers.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBRNAP2gEe
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntH3AaFPAD
“No.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3GWdX98mB
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW6JZPM3yh
“We’re gonna go together,” I told him “I’ll be there with you,” I assured him. He breathed and nodded. “What about your father? Have you talked to him?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBPaLULcOQ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33fs7mb5aH
“No,” he said his expression hardening “My father and I don’t talk.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnEBTvbG1S
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3skVA1fv58
“Well, he’ll notice when you’re better and everything will be okay,” I told him and took his hand in mine. He turned towards me and looked at me; his brown eyes liquid.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljS7m9F46T
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HKYoS5gft
“I admire you for being able to do that,” he mumbled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18nQdhQ2Fv
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgScsYxBfCc
“Do what?” I blinked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8QFPTjJHg
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCb8wgWZgB
“Be so strong.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLv7rn8GMd
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9cOPHIaLL
“There’s no strength left in me,” I whispered, shaking my head lightly and looked at the floor.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcVpLA5kJn
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuJX6nl1ad
“Hey,” he said and searched for my eyes. I turned to look at him before he spoke again. “You’ll get over this,” he said sounding confident.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OJwBo3oaz
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9qyT6Yev6
“I can’t,” I winced and my tears betrayed me once again. I turned my head away from him and tried to wipe the tears away.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIcDO9da0E
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnEZmOO4e6
“Come here,” I heard him saying right before he pulled me to his arms again. He put his palm against the side of my head as my cheek was laying against his collar bone. “Calm down,” he whispered and a déjà vu hit me; Damien holding me as I was crying over Alex. I pulled away abruptly from him as my breathing fastened and the pain in my chest hardened.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvV44Z0W3Y
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIqJD3nxNA
“I’m sorry,” I breathed. Alex looked at me shocked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3h9Og9DlKK
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs32nH3uzFD
“What?” he asked confused “About what?” he frowned and I got up.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BmiHGLboS
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIATVxL1xz
“It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault,” I mumbled as the air filled my lungs quickly; my chest going up and down rapidly. “Four months ago he was the one holding me,” I begun talking quickly and started hyperventilating “As I was crying over you. Now it’s happening again but in reverse. It’s me. I keep doing this,” I rambled, tears oozing from eyes.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56GsyxjrR5
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUQEBIHETD
I was doing this. Alex was never the right guy for me and maybe neither was Damien. Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad, because I wanted him to be that guy so bad. My chest was going up and down quickly and aching. I didn’t noticed Alex moving, until he was standing in front of me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7b5O7rI1h
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqCFHn5QVW
“Erica, calm down,” he said, putting his palms against my cheeks and looking at me. I bit my bottom lip trying to calm down with no success. Everything was great before he kissed me that day in the swimming pool for the first time. Why would he do that? I was fine before. I was fine just imagining that kiss, imagining him looking into my eyes with care. I was fine before.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yxLA24RwM
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEf2liQoSx
But I was glad I lived it. Grateful that I was free to caress his beautiful face and that I saw the way he looked and smelled after sex. I was thankful even if now my insides were aching and burning like a demon’s flesh that’s being touched by holy water. I breathed out a whimper and put my palm against the center of my chest.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4KjR410gz
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrREnC0fXfb
“It’s the same thing isn’t?” he asked; looking at me. I just stared at him. “Let’s go,” he said and grabbed my hand.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVyAv2srqq
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75WxdnssIG
“Where?” I asked breathlessly.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEFsFvexiX
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzJaLSrv5D
“To the hospital,” he said; his voice colored with his intimidating tone.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11wmbh7Fir
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVaZT6ftP2
The ride towards the hospital helped a little bit, mostly because Alex had my window wide open. If I cared the slightest about myself at that point, I would be worried about getting pneumonia.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaqOjE0C3e
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGW433JXcd
At some point I heard him talking on the phone to one or two people but I didn’t pay attention. I was just glad that he didn’t know the twins or my parent’s number. Or at least I hoped he didn’t. I was too lost in my trance to worry about that. My mind was spinning and I had lain back enjoying the ride.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0lBCA7xfy
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bUrSxcGZ1
Only when we walked into the Emergency Room I became aware of what was really happening. The pain in my chest wasn’t so bad anymore but I still felt something. Maybe it was my heart that was ripped out.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr7bOwTSf7
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJEzH2WXCN
I guessed that the phone calls that Alex made as he drove me to the hospital were to a doctor because we didn’t have to wait at all. A doctor led the way towards one of the beds and told me to sit down. When he asked how I felt I was very tempted to say that it felt like I was hit by a truck but I thought it would be better to avoid my bitter humor.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLdBEqvhMJ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1cqy1sOqO
“Does it still hurt?” he asked as he took my pressure. Alex was standing on the end of the bed, his one arm against his chest and the other over it as his fingers were tracing his mouth; the whole time staring at me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfpj9FFgJO
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUnopZgGRV
“No,” I replied “But it tickles,” I frowned not sure if that was the right word to describe the feeling.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaKR1RhVZ6
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndL3GGyxVH
“Mr. White, can you please pull the curtains close?” he asked Alex and then turned towards me. “Lift your shirt please, I need to listen to your heart,” he told me. I nodded not even thinking that Alex was there.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBClTKFTGuX
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gROFODhcB
“Do you want me to …” Alex told me, pointing outside. I shook my head politely. It wasn’t like he would see anything he hasn’t seen before. That thought brought a scoff to my lips that I chocked as the doctor place the stethoscope to my chest and then my heart rate increased again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpNCv5pGG9
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZtyGyD0et
“Take another deep breath please,” he told me and I noticed a light frown. My sight blurred for a moment but then I controlled myself and did what the doctor asked. “Okay, turn around,” he asked and I turned towards Alex; my top still upwards. I blinked to control the tears and gave a weak smile to Alex. “Okay,” the doctor exhaled and removed the stethoscope. I pulled down my top and turned towards him again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz01xhjFAAC
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBXOp3FXlR
“You just had an anxiety attack,” he looked at me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrH7xJovOY7
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9p17HOFHVb
“But I’m not anxious about anything,” I frowned. I didn’t give damn about my classes at this point.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0TfdL38N5
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIsRB1YHP2
“From your symptoms, pounding heart, shortness of breath, hyperventilation and insomnia I can come up with one answer and that is anxiety attack,” he begun. “But I can say that grieving can also be a cause. Grieving is a powerful emotion that can have physical effects on our autonomic system and can even cause arrhythmias or bursting of weakened blood vessels,” the doctor explained. I wasn’t surprised he thought of “grief”; my red eyes were one of my symptoms.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5ZqN68KFh
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65oeWJ71H7
“Oh,” was all I managed to say. “What can I do?” I asked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGo1nPSTiH
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9KvedVxxS
“Because this have happened again in the past, I’m going to prescribe something to just calm you down,” he said.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYb8IZ6RJEt
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8XUL2vc9A
“Anti-depression drugs?” Alex asked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSRZ1XEGTB
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMGhwCiz25
“What?” I frowned “No,” I turned towards the doctor as I realized what drugs he meant. “I have my exams to study for,”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAjeT7YXQ3
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsjraqQlSF
“Alright, take one before you go to sleep for two nights in the row. It will help you sleep and rest. Then take them if you start having any symptoms again, okay?” the doctor smiled and wrote something on a paper and left it. “Though I don’t think it will happen again soon.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxovXuaSMnx
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg7951bwhF
“Thank you Dr. Wallace,” Alex said as I nodded. The doctor smiled at him and shook his hand before leaving us alone. I exhaled deeply and got up from the bed. Alex walked next to me, his hand on the back of my waist as we exited the hospital.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYLlMaWUcz
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7gT8K9CxV
“That was interesting,” I smiled as approached the car. “Many people have been dumped before but how many were they diagnosed?” I laughed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQ4wC7XdFn
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsl7LT1iAY
“I need to know that you’ll be okay,” Alex told me as he sat opened the passengers door for me.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3iIECCAdq
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16pTW3InxP
“I’ll try,” I mumbled.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagbILUOJ6J
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJfyl2y5RM
[+++]422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2mMy26rIe
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNDJE25OXC
The next two days I did sleep well thanks to the drugs the doctor gave me but the third night was as the same as the first night I learned Damien left. I tossed and turned, curling up into a ball. I tried to avoid taking a pill again because I’ve heard that you can get addicted to anti-depressing’s.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tGLuE4aks
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrvufUlOFo
I wanted to hear his voice so bad; to hear that everything was okay. And I made the mistake to pick up my phone and call him; because this time he picked up. My heart almost exploded.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXSaFs8EKX
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJh2684C3pf
“What?” he asked so abruptly that made my heart shutter into a million pieces.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcfqXNlcjq
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMv38N6KKB
“Hi,” I breathed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7Lxkv5hU9
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKlBm1PfDT
“What the hell Erica?” he asked. I never thought it would hurt this bad to hear him calling my name “It’s four o’clock in the morning!” he replied; his tone cold and distant.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEq1wz76XyD
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pF0x6CniE
“I’m sorry,” I whispered “I just needed to hear your voice,” I swallowed hard.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmvj4Ixjbk
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrT6foX1Et
“So what?”he breathed out. He sounded like he was struggling too but it still hurt so badly. Tears filled my eyes and I hung up the phone before throwing it at the end of the bed. I wasn’t ready for this. I fell against my pillow, covering my face and smothered the sound of my sobs.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkyxcYUWhi
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2LM7UZHOi
And that’s when it happened again; the pounding pain returned to my chest. I sat up trying to calm down and looked at my phone, thought of calling Alex but I didn’t want to wake him up. So I stood up and walked into the shower. But again, tears came out of nowhere. I couldn’t calm myself down. I wrapped my towel around my body, between sobs, and walked into the room again.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeROyZyroKl
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGAhj1N7R2
“Yes?” Alex answered his phone sleepily.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rgT3IC8oZ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuismt1KoV
“I’m sorry,” I said softly “I…” I trailed. And that’s when Alex must have realized it was me on the phone.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcLREb3w7z
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QoTiIEieF
“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbj6pDooNtY
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpAlyyxoTg
“I don’t know,” I whispered but my breathing was still quick.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZ3niUX8nw
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVwyaoTOzJ
“It happened again?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iJ7ofVrhV
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIfEjHhAbb
“Yes,” I breathed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyRKeFfOrN
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxz5549plu
“Get dressed.” He said and hung up the phone; not even giving me the chance to argue with him.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpJ2mGZMlO
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYeN6eGynk
[+++]422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGTDso33A2
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRA9JXCesN
This time the doctor that examined me thought it was best to keep me in. He said that it was suspicious for a girl my age to get those episodes so regularly. I tried to delay notifying my mother as much as possible as I didn’t want to scare her. I was lying in a bed, with stickers against my chest and my heart beat was beeping through a machine for the entire room to hear.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTDjhSiTjo
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGl8smg568
“You need to call your mother,” Alex said from the foot of the bed. I studied him for a moment and noticed that I never saw him dressed so casual and I frowned.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6xO4Ncrdt
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnORB2dTCHK
“You’re not wearing a button up shirt,” I stated. He chuckled and shook his head.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMokSxKIms
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxUlymgsZh
“Yeah, sorry,” he smiled “I didn’t have time for a formal outfit,” he mocked.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQDwCmgSOJ
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMbZhNWgWM
“Thank you for coming,” I smiled at him. He looked at me for a moment and then sat down at the end of the bed; exhaling deeply.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzI6AF2KYw
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJuipef5tU
“Three days ago, when you’re having that episode, you said something,” he begun “You said that you keep doing this to yourself,” he said. I felt uncomfortable and the beeping sound on the machine picked up. He looked at the machine for a second and then took my hand in his. I swallowed waiting to hear what he would say next. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he sighed.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4uodqCgCF
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8lnlMuHDt
“What? You’ve lost me,” I frowned.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuky2NkyDpU
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudbyfOCwRE
“If we haven’t met that night, you wouldn’t be in here now,” he explained but I was still lost.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvn87hiJlA
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbDNPZQMCw
“Alex, what are you talking about?”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnohwcZ1x4G
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Xv5KyZfre
“I’ve been thinking about this since that night at the club you had the first episode,” he explained and that’s when I realized what he was talking about. That night when we were out together after the second time we got together. I couldn’t breathe inside the club and accidentally told him this was happening often since he left.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGuZVJ2hFW
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmqGIoGwQe
“Oh my God,” I frowned “This isn’t your fault,” I breathed and tried to sit up.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fPSZGSFcV
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOpoDq7m11
“Stay down,” he said and stopped me from getting up “This is my fault. I damaged you so badly and he…” he trailed. The thought of Damien brought a sharp pain into my chest that made me ignore what he said.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQmuoW0l77
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZeYVBvJOL
“He broke me,” I smiled a humorless smile; the machine giving me in. Alex looked towards it and stood up.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPEw1zGQwp
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53YZt9c8R2
“Damn it, I shouldn’t have brought this up now,” he frowned. “Here,” he said and gave me my phone “Call your mother. It’s seven a.m.”422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R71fZxtts
422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNMTKtig9e
I looked at him and sighed. It was best to hear it from me that I was in the hospital; to see that it wasn’t anything serious. Or at least I hoped it wasn’t.422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIae7FV6wW7
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit:422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xrITrCSuv
Conjure One - Tears From the Moon422Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTS80Ut5Q1x
