I couldn’t help but feel insecure again. I should be out of my mind with happiness. And I was. But a little piece of my mind was having other thoughts; thoughts that were causing me to doubt and feel scared. Again.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrioroqNGC
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Damien once promised me that he’ll never leave. Actually no. He didn’t promise that. He promised not to cheat on me. Then I guess the fact that he left me five months ago was different. He didn’t break a promise. But he did break my heart.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuk1pMSxs7
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A heart that I thought was healed in Italy when he told me he loved me for the first time. But a part of me was still suspicious. Then again, maybe there wasn’t a way to completely feel secure in a relationship. I knew that sometimes he could see right through me, read the fear in my eyes, because he would assure me that he loves me as soon as he noticed the slightest change in me.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUl75ak9sLA
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But now it was a different fear. Damien was clear about his feelings from the start. I was the one holding back, too afraid to show him how much I really love him and that made him feel insecure. I could tell because everytime I mentioned Alex, his eyes would change and he felt the need to hear how I felt about him.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2MlLL4U4s
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Now, I was scared that he asked me to marry him because he felt insecure. But we were both clear on our views on the matter; “If a person wants to cheat, it will happen; married or not”. So I doubt that marrying me would make him feel safe and secure.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuTwKvu2zE
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So what was it? Why I couldn’t just let go and be happy? I needed another opinion. I knew that Damien was Cleo’s brother but she was also my best friend. Thankfully, after we made up, she didn’t seem to have a problem with my relationship with him.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiDbTurYLS
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“Where are you?” I asked Cleo on the phone.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCwNYsXKuu
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“Home, what’s up?” she asked.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUS9N3yjiE
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“Oh, good. I need to see you. Can I pick you up in a while? Some shopping is in order,” I replied.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJQSzps32K
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Half an hour later, we were inside our favorite store, walking around and looking at clothes.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYw4MXkTNfk
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“So, Damien is being weird,” I said.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIQk1mNobk
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“Weird? Already?” she chuckled “Have you even had time to talk? I bet you were only having sex since last night,” she mocked.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmJGfdE1KW
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“That can’t stop someone from talking!” I raised my eyebrows and smirked.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4F5F41JHU1
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“Dear Lord,” she winced.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgij0nf434
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“What if he just feels insecure that I’m over here without him when he’s away in Italy?” I asked out of the blue. “What if he changes his mind when he gets back?”535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PsAYeN74a
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“I’m confused,” she let down a top she was holding and turned towards me.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdElxKfMd8u
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“He asked me to marry him,” I explained. I couldn’t fight back the smile.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKsI3hFwLm
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHw9koWB4Y
“What?” she asked so loudly and thrilled that some girls turned to look at us. I looked around me sideways and then back at her; a wide smile on her face. “Why aren’t you thrilled?” she narrowed her eyes.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqF1QWZeUK
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“I told you. What if he asked me to marry him because he’s just feeling insecure? He was always clear about his feelings towards me and I was always afraid to tell him.”535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLu5bnmMUpC
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“I thought, after Italy, everything was great. I thought everything was out in the open,” she asked.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsRCkaFtLl
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“And you’re right. But what if he still feels like I’m holding back?” I asked; my fingers fidgeting.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8G9D84ClxZ
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWM143Q8pJ
“Baby,” she begun “What you’re doing now, this is how you’re holding back,” she said “Look at me,” she told me and I turned my eyes to hers “The love of your life asked you to marry him and you’re overanalyzing it! Just be happy!!” she smiled.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uz2WDhuPG
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I stared at her for a few seconds. She was right. I looked at my hands for a second before a smile appeared on my lips.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73J3cAbkKe
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“You’re right,” I smiled. “Damien asked me to marry him,” I said in order to digest it. She nodded and hugged me. “And he did it while we were having sex, by the way,” I chuckled.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXghY3uyNv2
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“Come on! You ruined it for me! Ew!” she winced and pulled away from me. I laughed and told her how everything happened.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1zaJhCFNC
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“So, we have to keep it a secret?” she frowned as we got into the car. “What is it with you and secrets?”535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbaVCfeHq4
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“I’m scared that he’ll change his mind when he gets back,” I mumbled.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiM6P1VGrT
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“Why will he do that?” she questioned rhetorically “I doubt that he would have asked you in the first place if he wasn’t sure about his feelings,” Cleo said.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZjsOejGqs
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“We haven’t been together that long. What if he doesn’t like me? My everyday me, I mean,” I replied truthfully. I had to get this out of my chest.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmDT66nnZS
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“Honey, do you listen to the words that come out of your mouth?” She frowned and shook her head. She didn’t even ignite the engine. “Damien loves you!” she said and sighed. “Talk to him,” she suggested.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavAIndJ0g4
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“What? No!” I shook my head. “I don’t want him to know that I’m scared again!”535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKi8rj2gD0s
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“You can’t hide your feelings for him if you’re gonna start a family someday. It’s not right,” She pointed out.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9cLAEkmBn
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“You’re right,” I sighed. “I’ll try and talk to him,” I agreed.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKkEAy7PiA
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Damien was in the country for ten days. And of course, they weren’t enough. I didn’t see him again after the morning he proposed because he had plans with his friends. I also went out with the twins in order to stop myself from over thinking; something that never leads to good things.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrCvx7kzwN
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I returned home and went straight to bed; hugging the pillow he was sleeping yesterday. Sometime during the night my phone rang. Damien wanted me to let him in.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQxynikV5T
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“You should get your own key,” I told him half asleep as he closed the door behind him.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7ia84ECTj
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“I’m not even your official boyfriend,” he mocked referring to the fact that only our closest friends knew about our relationship.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQssqeJOlP0
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“Fine, then. Next time you can sleep in your bed. Alone.” I arched my eyebrows.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFkUsBufcg
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“I can start now,” he smirked and took a step towards the door.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pR6DStpPX
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“No!” I cried softly and lunched to his arms. His hands were around my body in a second and I heard him chuckle. He smelled like whiskey and cigarettes. I have forgotten that smell that I learnt to love because of him. Damien gripped my butt and led me towards the bed.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIW17kK2MH3
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“Do you want to go back to sleep?” he asked me softly as he was kissing my jaw line.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCP1YyuAYI8
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“I want you,” I replied. I could sleep next week that he won’t be around.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC41VJIYvIb
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He gripped my thigh tightly as I closed my legs around his torso and pushed myself against his body. He nibbled the skin on my neck. I mingled my fingers through his long hair and kept my eyes open to take it all in.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyJqumu5ZI
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He pulled back after a while just to remove his jeans and t-shirt. He returned on the bed and pulled my underwear down before returning on top of me.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBfpOo0bZc
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He entered me slowly; that sweet pain of fulfilling between my legs. He stared at me with those marvelous grey eyes of his and kissed me lips softly as he remained inside of me.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvPqansAIl
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“I love you,” he whispered and made my heart fly.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghXLtXhsHi
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“I love you too,” I breathed.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwDFef3xLf
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I fell asleep intoxicated by his musk scent and his warmth; Things that I could never get used to having.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl71s00jmrM
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“So where are we going?” I asked Damien as I was seated in his black M6 for a trip to the unknown. He only told me we were going for a casual drink so I was wearing a maxi floral sun-dress witha low cut v-neck and my wedges. Nothing fancy and out of the ordinal.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhJjtl5Ktf
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He, on the other hand, was wearing a shirt. That was surely out of the ordinal. Damien was wearing shirts only if he was going out; never for coffee or a casual drink in the afternoon. Of course he was wearing his jeans, but that shirt made me wonder what he had in mind.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4tPQ3ZLKL
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“Somewhere we haven’t been for a while,” he said still not answering my question. I frowned.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgGpP4PpWK
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“Enlightening! We haven’t been anywhere for a while,” I narrowed my eyes. He laughed bitterly because the reason was that he was in Italy. He put his hand on my thigh and squished it.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRJ17maJEm
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“I’m sorry I’ve been away,” he sighed. I placed my hand on top of his quickly and held it as he drove.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4GTqiKc18
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“Don’t you dare apologize again for that!” I told him “It’s for your future!”535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzlZcw73DA
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGioGzJgEQs
“You’re my future,” he said quietly. My heart flew. I smiled and I put my hand on the back of his newly shortened hair; my thumb caressing his unshaved cheek. I adored him no matter how he looked, but Damien with short hair was giving me shivers and butterflies.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCOxs0aWWs
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“You know what I mean,” I said trying to recover my thoughts and he nodded giving me a smile. “So, tell me where we going!” I demanded.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUaeTVzsVR
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“Nope,” he grinned. I pouted defeated. I only knew one thing we were going somewhere far away.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBUIZQha3J
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We were talking about random stuff for a while until I began noticing the familiar surroundings. We were driving to the Summer house. It’s where he first kissed me and where we made love for the first time.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWQkvEGOrp
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBej01Dt5j1
I turned to look at him. Butterflies attacked my stomach just like that very first time. I smiled. He turned his eyes towards me for a moment and smiled too.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIV5I6QmnE
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“The gates are open,” I frowned. He didn’t speak. Weird. He drove up the driveway and stopped the car.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6lCaG4dQH
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“Wait here for a moment, please?” He told me, looking at me in the eye. His hand pulling a handle and the trunk clicked. “And try not to look,” he smiled.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8ew1WhKwu
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“Okay,” I agreed. I was dying to find out what was going on. It wasn’t our anniversary or anything. Could it be -? Was it possible that he was going to propose for real? No. I doubt it was that.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sMUcT3QUQ
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He closed the gates behind the car and I realized that I didn’t have any clothes with me. “But who cares, it’s not like I’ll be wearing any of them around him.” I saw him taking out something from the back of the car quickly but I tried not to see what it actually was. Not that I could make out in the dim light that was coming from the house.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7s6AkBns1
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A few minutes later he walked out of the house and walked to my side of the car, opened the door for me and helped me get out. The light breeze made my dress fly as he closed the door behind me and took my hand in his.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OUd4Hjpib
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We walked into the house and straight towards the back glass doors. He stopped in front of the closed curtains and told me to keep my eyes closed.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqXclQXveH
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“Okay,” I nodded. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and my heart racing with anticipation.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl49TdvHNr
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He placed his hand on my lower back and carefully led me outside. I felt his palms against my cheeks and his lips pressing against mine softly.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAyel4GI1o
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“You can open your eyes now,” he said softly.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ogTLxGW9W
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The small lights from around the yard was on and the swimming pool lights too. Also, there was a small table on the other side of the pool, between the pool and the roofed sun bed.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCRTpbZ1WF
Plates and candles was on the table and next to it a trolley with what I guessed to be dinner and red and white tulips; my favorite. I was speechless.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvc9KBlkNT
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“So beautiful,” I mumbled. I didn’t even care what the reason was. If he went into all this trouble, I only had to enjoy myself.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTs1c15PgbZ
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNZay4PlpV
“I’m glad you like it,” he smiled and led me towards the table. “Would you like some wine?” he asked me.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAqhnXGXEM
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“Yes, please,” I smiled. And I haven’t even spoken to him about my concerns. He poured wine into two glasses and gave me one. I walked towards the edge of the pool and stared at the water smiling.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tWHdnqI5L
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“You look so beautiful,” he said quietly from a few feet behind me. I turned around; my dress still moving away from my legs in the rhythm of the breeze. I noticed him putting his mobile back on the table and smiled. He must have taken a picture. Then I noticed him fidgeting as he left his glass on the table too.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjKHJfzMo7
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“Why are you so nervous?” I frowned. Damien chuckled as he walked up to me.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasrUrrJ10S
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“I love you,” he smiled and looked at me with his marvelous grey eyes.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsL40f8nji
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“I love you too baby,” I smiled and kissed him softly on the lips.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdr50r1fq2
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“I know you’re having second thoughts about asking you to marry me,” he begun and for a moment I turned my eyes elsewhere. But then he kept talking. “I’ve thought about it a lot when I was away and I actually can’t think about a future without you in it. And everything I want to do is to create a better future for you. I know we are not together that long and you’re scared about that,” he said and I bid my bottom lip but I couldn’t keep my eyes away from him. At first it sounded like he was about to propose, again, but he confused me. “But we do know each other your whole life,” I chuckled as he emphasized our age difference. He took the glass from my hands and placed it on the table behind us.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQn4VApWes
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“I know that by asking you to marry me, you won’t stop being afraid,” he said and a sigh escaped my lips. “But I’m hoping to make you remember that I won’t leave you or hurt you in any way. I know that I promised that once again and I broke that promise -”535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7MH8b99TE
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“Actually, you only promised not to cheat on me,” I mumbled and smiled softly.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QZafnKoxI
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“I actually promised to myself not to do anything to hurt you like Alex did. So, I did broke my promise,” he said and those days came back to my mind. My heart fell. He cupped my face and made me look into his grey eyes.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiB23llgE3V
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“I promise not to ever hurt you like that ever again. For as long as I live and breathe,” he vowed “I want you to know that I’m committed to you and us. And I will do anything in my power to keep you happy. And so I wanted to do this properly,” he said and before I asked what he was talking about he got down on one knee and took a little box out of his pocket. I parted my lips in order to breathe properly when he asked the question.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuD1KJNHEVI
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYsnkD807r
“Will you marry me?” he asked. My lips curled up to a smile. The ring was not silver like all engagement rings. It was a material I couldn’t place and on the top, a grey rock surrounded by little white rocks. I smiled as it instantly reminded me my favorite set of eyes.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx3eI9ZoNT
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“Yes,” I smiled and he took the ring out of the box and placed it on my finger. He stood up and cupped my face and kissed me. “I want you everytime you look on your ring to remember my promise. Okay?”535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13qRSrmdDV
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“Okay,” I mumbled as I got lost into his arms.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsoxZciitX
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If there’s a Heaven, I’m pretty sure I was seeing it and feeling it right that moment. So this is how it felt having all your dreams coming true.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FR6uLvPvG
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“So, I guess with a rock on my finger it will be very hard not to tell our families…” I trailed; a small grin on my lips as I sliced my chicken. Damien chuckled.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTqDJi6ert
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“A bit too late for that,” he grinned and ate his last bite.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivOcbpk5JX
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“What do you mean?” I frowned and left my fork down.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ50FWiRR7y
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“I’ve already told you; I wanted to do this properly!” he said and got a sip of wine. I was waiting patiently. “I’ve talked to my parents and then visited your parents early this afternoon,” he smiled, eyeing me carefully and waiting for a response.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcjsoV1B8E
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“Okay,” I breathed out slowly. Where was I during all of this? Oh right, I was with Max. I’m sure he was in on it.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GCej0Juu8
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“I told them that we’ve been seeing each other for almost a year,” he begun.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJRGkPkyxI
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“That’s a lie,” I smirked. Damien laughed.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeRbrKW8SW
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“It’s been a year since we first kissed,” he arched an eyebrow. “We’ve been in love for much more, but I kept the details for ourselves.”535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TRw2nm2Sc
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“Good thinking,” I chuckled. There wasn’t a need for our parents to know everything. “So?”535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiCHhtRpsV
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“Well, to be honest, our moms did seem to relax at the fact that we are planning on waiting until you get your degree,” he said.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hMPZAOyBl
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It was such a beautiful night. I couldn’t care less if I was barely 19 and was engaged to a man that I was in a relationship for under a year. Because Damien wasn’t just a man. He was everything I adored and longed for since I could remember myself.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxd21wqigD
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“Why were you so nervous, anyway?” I asked curious as I sipped my wine. He took a sip from his as well and chuckled; blushing. “Oh my God, I made you blush!” I exclaimed happily and he laughed as I got up from my seat and landed on his lap; hugging him.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskCjd4PMl1
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“You are the love of my life. I wanted this to be perfect,” he explained softly.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRtDoUnona
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“It is perfect, baby,” I smiled and kissed his lips.535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPR1Inmm0b
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit:535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkltomhVib
"Hearts Don't Break Around Here" – Ed Sheeran535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUL2wQAaX6
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One of the new (published in 2017) chapters!!! Let me know what you think!!
