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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSicoNaF1mw
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCAHb5HA1X
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoaU5PETMm
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbSvPvp5Xx
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVKhuMoTNq
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74rsf5pgjp
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5Xdmgz7Rw
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokzOkcaDwb
壓力似乎一併消散。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhikBR55wqW
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0LuBqWvQN
茶盡。我再續杯。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNx9NKsnlX
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHuf8R74IS
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghTomqiOkO
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOdJr7QpJb
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcg2vrfLbIS
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7n1JiZF4if
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01Deo1ogu4
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNxbIBIYB3
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWPcUvZYFm
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3j2VY86IX
夢醒一場空。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9GnmJt7xN
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkU7ZkLSqJ
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBPOml1EWy
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ4Yx6kbPL
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRf7RJcX4Le
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBTmJbqGCr
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPKO0Aftm0
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYCozNDg77
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4aWcB1fwn
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyDaYUcMrp
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vXcLKZJsa
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuSFOlDMVz
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41cAXXryu8
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXcbwy61oY
我沾沾自喜。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkTuFkGGZ2
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhtER3s8fw
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgL3WW4DhVp
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf3SJGMscH
但我沒有向同學們坦白。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21w70i3XBl
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TV828NmiF
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuEzOlDrnA
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6iZaIbvPO
努力，努力，努力。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxavdfbobm
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQx0OeeqqqG
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjMxoj1cYQ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAuV0Cnp4k
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB0jw6vfPd
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3BgIjTST1
以為。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21AQLSQHfu
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpoZ1G75ko
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifGbdzJU2j
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dQY9TYH7T
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxOOS8ILj7
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrbZtjBTC5
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0RtBw8dJx
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoRJERAIFw
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRfmxArTmv
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30ZRHffsPX
我的作品感動了我。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSm5Ft7DqE
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqgUToSWZn
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3gUy8mu2M
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV11cEZgQ7X
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVJwVUVrK1
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvzofSMKHU
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGPtkkE7Ck
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxgmX6gRTG
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAf9aJLrzN
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2zBcBlqpd
熱茶又涼了。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOoZaBLKPF
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCdYUK7AWK
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5K2emiRj3V
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gV0GiWggS
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7TUojcbYf
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBoEXJhlyr
我的作品只感動了我。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnUxlg7fxu
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzjQ74R78v
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcazbQbVZxf
