
我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。557Please respect copyright.PENANAn4MVzM1pqg
557Please respect copyright.PENANAeWPqSbomrN
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。557Please respect copyright.PENANAGbFZUAyza1
557Please respect copyright.PENANA31rsnGazSe
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。557Please respect copyright.PENANACdiZ1XCryO
557Please respect copyright.PENANAdabacxLu8m
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。557Please respect copyright.PENANAO2r7n2McF9
557Please respect copyright.PENANAF4wLBBYHaM
壓力似乎一併消散。557Please respect copyright.PENANAkd8X9MpRf8
557Please respect copyright.PENANAsPcFc4Mzlt
茶盡。我再續杯。557Please respect copyright.PENANAiqMZoBnjt5
557Please respect copyright.PENANAaS0Yw5OpA1
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。557Please respect copyright.PENANAey5t7PCUzW
557Please respect copyright.PENANAxMKkUgD4qt
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。557Please respect copyright.PENANApejFlqw4N9
557Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8QjCWybb3
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。557Please respect copyright.PENANA7fh4a8t2pV
557Please respect copyright.PENANAVeZ3smyUH0
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。557Please respect copyright.PENANATXHGOjwTrg
557Please respect copyright.PENANAbIa6w51rsm
夢醒一場空。557Please respect copyright.PENANAKnKRVG9uHj
557Please respect copyright.PENANA7Yq5W2UpPV
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。557Please respect copyright.PENANA51bch8YNOc
557Please respect copyright.PENANACkKqVOuRA8
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……557Please respect copyright.PENANAUnTeBA17hU
557Please respect copyright.PENANA5YQyBhUdPS
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。557Please respect copyright.PENANAFpnc1t6Vp1
557Please respect copyright.PENANAe3pwqFSbz0
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。557Please respect copyright.PENANANkf3jynZ88
557Please respect copyright.PENANAN8QmIFhmdC
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。557Please respect copyright.PENANA8AO5OCVNhm
557Please respect copyright.PENANAroRcG4P6Pv
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。557Please respect copyright.PENANAWzRP4aNmLW
557Please respect copyright.PENANAbxRE2uzfap
我沾沾自喜。557Please respect copyright.PENANAzB1AR0vZlD
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細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。557Please respect copyright.PENANAdow9oBc2fc
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但我沒有向同學們坦白。557Please respect copyright.PENANAOF4PcuupXn
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因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。557Please respect copyright.PENANAHihwaOObv8
557Please respect copyright.PENANAqguRQy96SU
努力,努力,努力。557Please respect copyright.PENANAIdINvTpPUd
557Please respect copyright.PENANAwDUWKf9pOu
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。557Please respect copyright.PENANAkTokwJV9Bu
557Please respect copyright.PENANANb9iEOVNsz
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。557Please respect copyright.PENANAQTESyahyw6
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以為。557Please respect copyright.PENANAZxAOC38O2L
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告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。557Please respect copyright.PENANAJYzd5LYSeq
557Please respect copyright.PENANAwdbXz0z3OF
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。557Please respect copyright.PENANADmtuxSQcr6
557Please respect copyright.PENANAC0WdMIOd0C
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!557Please respect copyright.PENANAlhVUOLUOtQ
557Please respect copyright.PENANArU4MVaKDzB
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。557Please respect copyright.PENANAxfjTtilSdo
557Please respect copyright.PENANAiVYI5boKxA
我的作品感動了我。557Please respect copyright.PENANAelOAYQDUcr
557Please respect copyright.PENANAb5yZDBklzJ
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。557Please respect copyright.PENANAVH0qf9aNNu
557Please respect copyright.PENANA40vIFM3eKz
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。557Please respect copyright.PENANAdqoBQA2iZH
557Please respect copyright.PENANAt22aAikzLu
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。557Please respect copyright.PENANAgUPhXRqBuE
557Please respect copyright.PENANA4NcEhK3glg
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……557Please respect copyright.PENANAo6vcLggbYm
557Please respect copyright.PENANAmrsPHatEwj
熱茶又涼了。557Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9VXd4lv8V
557Please respect copyright.PENANAJg3YiCyaST
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。557Please respect copyright.PENANAPUQMIXvHq6
557Please respect copyright.PENANAQtIAxr5WEI
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。557Please respect copyright.PENANAhdd6A6EZPk
557Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0VzvwkJSH
我的作品只感動了我。557Please respect copyright.PENANATt4tctBiCy
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因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。557Please respect copyright.PENANAlowa933XTw