午餐用膳後,男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場,或場上打籃球,或場外觀賽。我亦不例外,在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際,一個籃球高速自後側飛來,狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉,我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁,沒把事情放心上。當然,我也沒所謂,小事一椿。312Please respect copyright.PENANAFc688pnmJt
312Please respect copyright.PENANAVUnD9LCCHW
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。312Please respect copyright.PENANAqzgjCzbdJ4
312Please respect copyright.PENANAXgrzs6CgIH
匆匆一笑,半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑,僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。312Please respect copyright.PENANA1mTii2t442
312Please respect copyright.PENANAQxohDSolcy
但我還是記住了那抹笑容,記住了他的臉容氣質,記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。312Please respect copyright.PENANAZhXnqI5xBh
312Please respect copyright.PENANAMwLR445w08
為何記住?我解釋不了。312Please respect copyright.PENANA1U7kUZWNC1
312Please respect copyright.PENANAILed45ptgm
好幾個月過去,夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目,男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起,動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒,說吃飽想睡不想動。312Please respect copyright.PENANAL36eBZbYKF
312Please respect copyright.PENANAXCz0CEMoRv
我獨坐長椅一邊,納悶之際,兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。312Please respect copyright.PENANAn4Qjjl1Hyq
312Please respect copyright.PENANARV16K1cibQ
其中一個是他。312Please respect copyright.PENANAejWaOuRj8B
312Please respect copyright.PENANAFOnO7RYPBi
那笑那臉那明暗,歷歷在目。312Please respect copyright.PENANAcTE5NjRRP5
312Please respect copyright.PENANAyxh8Zilzzj
心頭一顫,我馬上別過臉去。數秒後,我稍為冷靜,意識到自己的失態,佯裝無異,繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣,有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。312Please respect copyright.PENANAXF5IIfpQJa
312Please respect copyright.PENANA5eNSegFVIW
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時,他竟從後叫住我。312Please respect copyright.PENANAaFYaEd8559
312Please respect copyright.PENANA3W1A13wIWu
「你遺下銀包。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAAPokloYI4B
312Please respect copyright.PENANAJu9uECNlSY
「謝謝。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAV5GZ12sbZA
312Please respect copyright.PENANAJd9zRqnx3M
「不用客氣……」312Please respect copyright.PENANAtgh1VeNMRw
312Please respect copyright.PENANAbPj1BUZR61
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣,他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼?不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題?甚或是「為何要展開話題」?312Please respect copyright.PENANAXQqbTKJXFC
312Please respect copyright.PENANAEW09w41vk1
氣氛尷尬,四目交投,卻不知如何是好。312Please respect copyright.PENANAQLhfOY45Ft
312Please respect copyright.PENANAUm02ldDxnS
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過,彼此才回過神來,甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上,他往下。312Please respect copyright.PENANAI0iOC0CKtt
312Please respect copyright.PENANA9m09oMshAD
誰料在午飯時間完結後,我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊,所以未曾正式認識。312Please respect copyright.PENANAsi1A6BZeHK
312Please respect copyright.PENANA77siNWuo0m
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。312Please respect copyright.PENANA7o13abWOnp
312Please respect copyright.PENANAsaKmjbRfDC
「我是文班許家偉。」312Please respect copyright.PENANADH8fJEX9sU
312Please respect copyright.PENANA8AVFOr1Sjs
「我是理班李浩榮。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAxmq9nBQWBk
其實我早已知道許家偉。312Please respect copyright.PENANA61Vj7VFD5F
312Please respect copyright.PENANAiDgmHzuaaj
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。312Please respect copyright.PENANAVEMYkeEsbj
312Please respect copyright.PENANAsmLa8ppNe5
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。312Please respect copyright.PENANA5j0gfXWO7q
312Please respect copyright.PENANAWK5gtufuGJ
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別,亦無專長或短處,是個存在感不強的乖學生。312Please respect copyright.PENANAWZVFw3MSnu
312Please respect copyright.PENANAUFHkgYySnN
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他?312Please respect copyright.PENANAmDGYAhUJRd
312Please respect copyright.PENANAGasiUmryxy
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝,只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。312Please respect copyright.PENANA360DnE6xnb
312Please respect copyright.PENANA9n6pBChUk3
不服氣。312Please respect copyright.PENANAT5A66x0uR8
312Please respect copyright.PENANAVMWGOlEwzb
繼續觀察他。312Please respect copyright.PENANAxTIUCsXxv4
312Please respect copyright.PENANAJKSKJwAetA
匆匆數月,秋去冬來,我對許家偉好奇不減。312Please respect copyright.PENANAOeBK8Nq0Iu
312Please respect copyright.PENANApD91cLGBXU
某天午餐後,我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅,於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端,近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光,動身離開。正感沒趣,阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡,看見許家偉的學生證。312Please respect copyright.PENANAVctfGu33UP
312Please respect copyright.PENANAZgnO3YSTU7
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證,再將銀包交到校務處。我反對,擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應,僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步,將銀包遞給我。312Please respect copyright.PENANAnPzEmwlKHe
312Please respect copyright.PENANA66dWqVAKBr
我急步追趕許家偉。312Please respect copyright.PENANAftfOfG9XbX
312Please respect copyright.PENANAOxdAA4kLNh
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問,我不是討厭許家偉嗎?人前,我一直表達對許家偉的討厭;人後,我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有,尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。312Please respect copyright.PENANAYy5RlKQFKW
312Please respect copyright.PENANAQxIpT6kncy
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。312Please respect copyright.PENANAiPjAffhiol
312Please respect copyright.PENANA9ADpaYgJC9
遠遠看見他的身影,我自然而然打起十二分精神;聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉,我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的;走經中五級壁報板,會不經意試找許家偉的名字……312Please respect copyright.PENANAKnP3T5SnIS
312Please respect copyright.PENANAbleZpzepNu
「你遺下了銀包。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAVColjIiRAc
312Please respect copyright.PENANATWfp8DpifQ
「謝謝。」312Please respect copyright.PENANABWD9FhE0Zi
312Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9RhCPlBm6
「不用客氣……」312Please respect copyright.PENANAKoytmK1KDv
312Please respect copyright.PENANAqAtA6HGRyA
經已物歸原主。他道謝,我虛應,然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。312Please respect copyright.PENANA28fbsD6qCT
312Please respect copyright.PENANAzQXaOFHJmY
該要說甚麼?還需要說甚麼?沒有啊!但我們還是原地愣著。312Please respect copyright.PENANACAJ8yLC5KH
312Please respect copyright.PENANAJqoOn2YxvT
他是否一早知道我?他是否早已察覺我在留意他?不會吧……312Please respect copyright.PENANAkZapw8wxKJ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAkrAed27wX7
我望入他雙眼。312Please respect copyright.PENANAlPJr0yrWOv
312Please respect copyright.PENANAht5keTkPaE
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑,似乎在期待甚麼……312Please respect copyright.PENANAGtmyk7mUtb
312Please respect copyright.PENANAeme7AudC5S
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來,低頭轉身離開。312Please respect copyright.PENANABdeJbX4MWx
312Please respect copyright.PENANAnljRtkNC6B
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在,問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容,認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的,不會繼續討厭他。312Please respect copyright.PENANAtxLihjcVFj
312Please respect copyright.PENANAitM1OzyAvO
上課鈴聲響起,學生魚貫回課室去。人群中,我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了,笑他遲鈍,後知後覺。312Please respect copyright.PENANAY0EsnrDXTg
312Please respect copyright.PENANAxc8YrxVhRF
許家偉臉紅,禮貌地點點頭,上前自我介紹。312Please respect copyright.PENANAoimt7UqmDE
312Please respect copyright.PENANA8zi65h5NQo
「我是文班許家偉。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAyFSpCc3Wq3
312Please respect copyright.PENANAs72mXyZxVE
「我是理班李浩榮。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAlCMo2zLfWs
畢業多年,我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講,舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料:「你們當年那麼要好,竟然未曾聯絡一次?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAyKlvjue7Pl
312Please respect copyright.PENANALtGqaRKSK2
我笑笑點頭,不多解釋。312Please respect copyright.PENANAtkwxrm0Ite
312Please respect copyright.PENANARM0z9Ibo7m
畢業禮當晚,他告訴我,他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰,我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必,因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪:如已釋懷,為何重提。312Please respect copyright.PENANAx7Nz9iR6VF
312Please respect copyright.PENANAM7P59JhyKW
李浩榮笑笑,笑說他已覺悟,明白人的真正作用。312Please respect copyright.PENANAJYzEziX8o9
312Please respect copyright.PENANAVNlWpuaqAA
聽到這莫名其妙的答案,我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。312Please respect copyright.PENANAOFFoyLouU6
312Please respect copyright.PENANAZSwvvNZviY
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起,或是把深交的兩個人分開,例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中,而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。312Please respect copyright.PENANAg2wAVvAaQq
312Please respect copyright.PENANA2bWOniyLKP
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過,有點無奈,有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後,我和李浩榮再無交集。312Please respect copyright.PENANAvi78SuXNGm
312Please respect copyright.PENANAIfkydR7sPg
但我沒有阻止他。312Please respect copyright.PENANANLUy9cN7SJ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAD1BmKEJJj9
他壓抑已久,情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。312Please respect copyright.PENANAFCf2nkmpzi
312Please respect copyright.PENANA9VS9MQy3Iv
我慫恿他繼續說下去。312Please respect copyright.PENANATjxuesDNxS
312Please respect copyright.PENANAOpTSO9A3XJ
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子,經常氣得老師向父母投訴,父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀,起初會擔心對方身體,後來發現彼此不怕捱打,只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑,再玩再捱打……玩著捱著,二人同甘共苦十四年,彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我,反倒羨慕我的不起眼。312Please respect copyright.PENANAXaYmpmdOdz
312Please respect copyright.PENANASougsSnmjm
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。312Please respect copyright.PENANA1f2Wxgobjw
312Please respect copyright.PENANAMWZMjTYuqX
「不被注意、不被期望,方能活得自由稱心。」312Please respect copyright.PENANA9quCEilMC1
312Please respect copyright.PENANA4RkRApbRSk
我問他是否有煩惱,可以向我傾訴,也許我能想出好辦法。312Please respect copyright.PENANAl4Ch6dWDxj
312Please respect copyright.PENANAoqQ1EJNtm2
李浩榮報以苦笑,沒有正面回答。312Please respect copyright.PENANAFfWc8CaLbQ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAnoYClvC88L
那夜,他喝得爛醉,我送他回家。312Please respect copyright.PENANAfjgOU8jk3u
312Please respect copyright.PENANATWcwNlY8e0
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦,語調急促,不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮,留下一句道謝,利落關門。312Please respect copyright.PENANAlZviPxL9kS
312Please respect copyright.PENANA5KeDMNTh6j
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。312Please respect copyright.PENANAlinBtQCdZo
312Please respect copyright.PENANANuu31ijfU2
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害,亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。312Please respect copyright.PENANA6EzkLhXMew
312Please respect copyright.PENANA7dO5lQ42gN
但我掛念他。312Please respect copyright.PENANA8CJ0fs5Pb0
312Please respect copyright.PENANA0QkwYZdwcU
不是偶然想起,不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助,不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯,是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。312Please respect copyright.PENANAg863jyzT57
312Please respect copyright.PENANAasbUaA8Se7
想起他,我不期然會笑;想起他,我感覺窩心;想起他,我會自覺孤單可憐。312Please respect copyright.PENANA4tmLHfkwUQ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAWnZLjP2S3A
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。312Please respect copyright.PENANAC8jGizK2d7
312Please respect copyright.PENANAISvZW0vOdL
糟糕了!怎麼辦?怎麼辦!不知道。312Please respect copyright.PENANAZPrF6SLcr3
312Please respect copyright.PENANA09iB7K5KLA
不要說。不要聽。不要見。312Please respect copyright.PENANAb77REMFFMs
312Please respect copyright.PENANAeEkFhzlyT9
希望時間會沖淡一切。312Please respect copyright.PENANAUr9gkvYyCM
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。312Please respect copyright.PENANAyfG8vrn3DH
312Please respect copyright.PENANA1GLoKK9A9X
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應,煞是暈眩,有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。312Please respect copyright.PENANAE4fgSzLWwh
312Please respect copyright.PENANAjGVoTLIgwQ
阿媽沒有理會我,背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說:「昨晚是他送你回來。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAS1e2mazUKs
312Please respect copyright.PENANA46TPCqv9Qq
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛,重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算,反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。312Please respect copyright.PENANAD0uBY1cOEF
312Please respect copyright.PENANAxgR7uurE90
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAoRlOfxnXMk
312Please respect copyright.PENANAEy9ebHo6kZ
「我也不明白。」312Please respect copyright.PENANA5rvAoSEkZQ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAPdRgzeUypb
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAMlgBzEyrRm
312Please respect copyright.PENANAPrCcwCnDkk
「感覺,並非可以自由控制的。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAZchEVvfVBH
312Please respect copyright.PENANAiaV64tHpgn
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAne5j18DLPs
312Please respect copyright.PENANAATvwwUQXA0
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」312Please respect copyright.PENANA8ITRiZrw9w
312Please respect copyright.PENANAk2HvcIDoNH
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」312Please respect copyright.PENANApdjKfEzUxh
312Please respect copyright.PENANAMyeJUrhzeb
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」312Please respect copyright.PENANASfmVN3s4zY
312Please respect copyright.PENANAlbqJT2iOja
我晦氣,毫不掩飾對她的討厭。312Please respect copyright.PENANALlyVe4mz9F
312Please respect copyright.PENANAGFg1dEKknj
阿媽沒再多話,繼續在廚房忙著。312Please respect copyright.PENANAKTk4Xi6Pp4
312Please respect copyright.PENANAFeIX1cwUX8
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我,為何旁人總愛插手?312Please respect copyright.PENANA4XQGfmG5aU
312Please respect copyright.PENANA1nLnA5Ml88
抵著頭痛,我硬撐起身子小便去。312Please respect copyright.PENANAy1ELbnELtw
312Please respect copyright.PENANAHibJ7AWWuA
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下,小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少,昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。312Please respect copyright.PENANAIP8ElenA9d
312Please respect copyright.PENANA7OrJoWwWjO
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。312Please respect copyright.PENANASV1TX0TKq7
312Please respect copyright.PENANAXahd8qZlgg
真的嗎?我真的把話說出口?312Please respect copyright.PENANAzIObZSofUE
312Please respect copyright.PENANATFxRelp2BX
為何這麼驚訝?阿強醉倒後,我特意喝下更多酒,不就是為了把話講出口嗎?312Please respect copyright.PENANAFOABpAJI8W
312Please respect copyright.PENANAmjYLbm72iv
便意盡,醉意消,騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。312Please respect copyright.PENANAwFZkQHn9OJ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAh63oBh2uKm
為何要走到這一步?312Please respect copyright.PENANA0vLJJ0hvZS
312Please respect copyright.PENANA04iSylc4B6
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情,擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我,乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態,冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。312Please respect copyright.PENANAO8yEO5iKaX
312Please respect copyright.PENANAdOSXRWApZd
「世人表裡不一。口說開明,實質守舊。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAewOfHb4XM1
312Please respect copyright.PENANAcDpMKimDx2
「是嗎?你呢?你口說放棄,心底裡在支持我吧?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAuO26xsUzDy
312Please respect copyright.PENANAnJ39TAfFVC
「別倔強。」312Please respect copyright.PENANA3CWMLEGVyt
312Please respect copyright.PENANAmGHXpM6AbL
「我想要知道你的真正想法!別敷衍!別蒙混!」312Please respect copyright.PENANA97PjeRnOKb
312Please respect copyright.PENANAHDXuRhNvpZ
「我想你放棄。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAk3SkVqrOMG
312Please respect copyright.PENANABQHUlDHWrm
「原因?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAzKLVYTQVMy
312Please respect copyright.PENANATRPeEtbgvG
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」312Please respect copyright.PENANASKvHD7pnc7
312Please respect copyright.PENANAvx9GHB1TrD
「我知道。」312Please respect copyright.PENANABijnfPAFWE
312Please respect copyright.PENANAC5WxmgDhEU
「何解還要繼續下去?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAd1mgLPHtR0
312Please respect copyright.PENANACGavNRmPwx
「感情易放難收。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAjxmLDaTgOq
312Please respect copyright.PENANAOyhMxCqbnP
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智,她還有何話可說,只得被動地待我回心轉意。312Please respect copyright.PENANAOv1acdfVvC
312Please respect copyright.PENANAXKrdmDwgan
傍晚,我約見阿強,在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀,有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣,我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此!我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足!312Please respect copyright.PENANAfp51UTgrBU
312Please respect copyright.PENANA59yZCSyW2I
架後,我沒有留下片言隻字,待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去,懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。312Please respect copyright.PENANAJCEAa1tPcf
312Please respect copyright.PENANAnM0cXdytop
阿媽見我身上有傷,許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事,沒有多問,亦不予關心。312Please respect copyright.PENANAIUXaZbt8me
312Please respect copyright.PENANAAD681zDvZt
我不在意,一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……312Please respect copyright.PENANAgwhvpWwM52
312Please respect copyright.PENANAxBlo4vuRii
畢業禮,是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊,戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜,能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉,齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。312Please respect copyright.PENANALIShEpc7Hh
312Please respect copyright.PENANAqvhNhFwCxZ
阿強取來一支烈酒,邀我對飲:「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAznu0vkf3do
312Please respect copyright.PENANAdS4aziEQTV
我欣然接受。他很了解我,許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈,自小經常一起偷偷喝酒,十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下,沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。312Please respect copyright.PENANA8icVaiCgmX
312Please respect copyright.PENANAs96RfpywEx
小醉。半醉。大醉。312Please respect copyright.PENANAxvowi2qa4b
312Please respect copyright.PENANAauQqmMiZF5
阿強半伏枱邊,傻笑問我:「想好如何表白了沒?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAi4mQ545mhb
312Please respect copyright.PENANAcZbNFN4Sx2
「直接講我愛他。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAs3IiPTYkqi
312Please respect copyright.PENANAc15hguyWRF
「如果他拒絕?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAEhztNA3lNg
312Please respect copyright.PENANAXUWlsMn8FM
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAEBqeyyjT4i
312Please respect copyright.PENANA0Tt8dccgfh
「如果他接受了?那怎麼辦?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAup1zhinVMq
312Please respect copyright.PENANAFfRuocUWF6
「我當然是高興!」312Please respect copyright.PENANAYERg0qyz8Q
312Please respect copyright.PENANAPJalpgiApC
「我在問,他會怎麼辦?你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAz7YzjbRV5s
312Please respect copyright.PENANAyPnu52L8i5
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。312Please respect copyright.PENANAB9KvtlvEeg
事隔四十年,我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。312Please respect copyright.PENANAZWXzaH4uSu
312Please respect copyright.PENANAnTDSgLL9UT
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻,但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。312Please respect copyright.PENANACIs8fsDu0R
312Please respect copyright.PENANABYMR6ZjOm5
李浩榮苦笑,笑容意味深長。312Please respect copyright.PENANA9IviUMFN8b
312Please respect copyright.PENANA6HUGGdXBCI
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」312Please respect copyright.PENANA9CKpoKW0XN
312Please respect copyright.PENANAOnBAMLqc6N
「活了那麼多年,經歷那麼多事情,我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAZigjiJxjJJ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAghtlvKMPCl
「你仍然單身?」312Please respect copyright.PENANANRg70M0UdZ
312Please respect copyright.PENANANkRRTYg7vq
「是的。」312Please respect copyright.PENANA7oE5dLLSVX
312Please respect copyright.PENANAnKzVxFlMUJ
「要我當媒嗎?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAfZKD3OJeGv
312Please respect copyright.PENANABDX8ffdDKC
「不了。難為情。」312Please respect copyright.PENANA9jG6Zw1Hqt
312Please respect copyright.PENANA38845gYbcZ
李浩榮失笑,笑我不值得被愛。312Please respect copyright.PENANAtnQtNLAfKQ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAUrN3u7aUOH
我陪笑,笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。312Please respect copyright.PENANAd0ACC2M5tu
312Please respect copyright.PENANAMqrOLEqJ4E
多寒暄幾句,我和李浩榮相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。312Please respect copyright.PENANApgluHhEExD
312Please respect copyright.PENANA2xji9rJfLQ
抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。312Please respect copyright.PENANAqEC91USq9Q
312Please respect copyright.PENANApGozgI6rO2
回家吧。312Please respect copyright.PENANASaJFCF5zzK
312Please respect copyright.PENANAZwosHnmljv
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。312Please respect copyright.PENANA0NIDvsDNA8
312Please respect copyright.PENANAz9qgbnWjcO
「戚戚慘慘悽悽,清清冷冷,覓覓尋尋。」興之所至,我一邊脫鞋,一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。312Please respect copyright.PENANAC3pnPhm7Mw
312Please respect copyright.PENANAfCjMa5raXS
「尋他千百度,驀然回首,那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪,懶洋洋得撲到梳化上,順口接上《青玉案.元夕》末句。312Please respect copyright.PENANACx5TVrN5ew
312Please respect copyright.PENANAhHesC6UXzK
枕臂望窗,映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗,憶起他的臉容氣質,憶起那抹笑容。312Please respect copyright.PENANAzWiOkw3kDG
312Please respect copyright.PENANAHmsmzKdC8L
大概是一見鍾情吧。312Please respect copyright.PENANA2l6fdqTWxF
312Please respect copyright.PENANAdOja1Yi1JG
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂,後知後覺。312Please respect copyright.PENANAiKCeFYXbwU
312Please respect copyright.PENANA0OZkTecu7l
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向,結果會否不一樣?312Please respect copyright.PENANAcBX0CSw7te
312Please respect copyright.PENANAtsLEyC8wfh
我笑自己想多了:結果會是一樣的。312Please respect copyright.PENANAxpbVHMlpOU
312Please respect copyright.PENANArtjMYhRQX1
我是懦弱的人,我珍愛自己,所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情,亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。312Please respect copyright.PENANA1BXrQJ7F6J
312Please respect copyright.PENANAEgObYbdLch
李浩榮說得沒錯,我不值得被愛。312Please respect copyright.PENANAmcuMyA056D
事隔四十年,昔日摯友躺在棺材裡,往日心上人站在我面前。312Please respect copyright.PENANAyNYIdLDggT
312Please respect copyright.PENANAB2JnfmPwSp
百感交集……312Please respect copyright.PENANAlxkVFkD0pU
312Please respect copyright.PENANAVLNO7i9Z82
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻,事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人,情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候,還以為痛楚會一直維持下去,有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。312Please respect copyright.PENANAsIhZtzjgAJ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAreVx3B8FRv
不過電影終究與現實不同:角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡,情感故此顯得激烈而深刻;現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素,例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。312Please respect copyright.PENANAgINkfJXk2k
312Please respect copyright.PENANAYh4nSMfUxY
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力,直至今日再聚……312Please respect copyright.PENANAMrraV6gqVL
312Please respect copyright.PENANAmOOyR8w6kn
「認得我嗎?我是許家偉。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAFhvwterSUS
312Please respect copyright.PENANAHKjqExzzPq
「認得。你是文班的。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAFXee3RYVTe
312Please respect copyright.PENANA0xiICu6NcI
許家偉淺笑,笑容如昔,淡然清雅溫婉。312Please respect copyright.PENANACuVw2Y22S4
312Please respect copyright.PENANAW5AB5t2nAC
閒聊之間,發現他仍然單身。究其原因,他只道難為情。312Please respect copyright.PENANAUnjnRYXid3
312Please respect copyright.PENANAgz6zq1oiBR
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。312Please respect copyright.PENANAGpHyE96a4l
312Please respect copyright.PENANAQmB9FMSqvk
四十年過去,許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。312Please respect copyright.PENANAha1jwjoCld
312Please respect copyright.PENANAgyPUBw6Td3
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。312Please respect copyright.PENANAZvldEmWAHY
312Please respect copyright.PENANAfxT3TLvjol
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。312Please respect copyright.PENANA1H3ke0v6mC
312Please respect copyright.PENANAyd5wt8fzGD
許家偉在認真?他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑?312Please respect copyright.PENANAVUCpDrIhLQ
312Please respect copyright.PENANApnP3dfCGoL
我哭笑不得。312Please respect copyright.PENANAOrk8ooJdl5
312Please respect copyright.PENANAuW3HB6S32A
無意跟他繼續對話。312Please respect copyright.PENANAW9JQ0AMPmY
312Please respect copyright.PENANAAoeHO9eYmZ
多寒暄幾句,我和許家偉相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。312Please respect copyright.PENANAGYdGjOWUJG
312Please respect copyright.PENANAXP929usvQ9
抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。