Revision: Anxiety!Dark
P.O.V: First Person
(A/N: Before reading this, if you don’t know anything regarding this song, please take note that it details many aspects of depression and suicidal thoughts and behaviour. This chapter and hopefully this chapter only will contain such as well. If you are okay with this, do enjoy.)
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There was a boy I met in kindergarten
My head hurts...
He was sweet, he said that I was smart
Another visit from Dr.Panic and Nurse Anxiety.
He was good at sports and people liked him
I miss him,
And at nap time once we shared a mat
I miss the old days:
I didn't sleep I sat and watched him breathing
When we’d stay up till Dawn just fooling around,
Watched and dreamed for nearly half an hour
I miss those times,
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
But it was all a fantasy, a dream, a SICK nightmare.
Then he woke up
I dont know whether to be happy or sad that I woke up.
529Please respect copyright.PENANAr7o2eN9cx6
He pulled a scab off one time playing kick ball
Bumps and lines of dark, velvete maroon decorate my wrists like a christmas tree.
Kissed me quick then pressed it in my hand
It hurts but I dont say a word.
I took that scab and put it in a locket
I let my hair down, jagged strands and uneven chunks dangle and flow in the cold night wind.
All year long I wore it near my heart
My heart sobs with an agonizing stinging.
He didn't care if I was thin or pretty
Screaming at me to just end it.
And he was mine until we hit first grade
But I just let a tiresome sleep consume me,
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Falling into the same nightmare again...
Then he woke up
But I cant escape reality.
529Please respect copyright.PENANADo29ftwBGI
Last night I dreamed a horse with wings
Mascara drizzle down my eyes in hopes of a rebirth from their black and sorrowful stain.
Flew down into my home roomOn its back there he sat
I shakily toss circles and ovals in my mouth, generous amounts.
And he held out his arm529Please respect copyright.PENANAJL3ZNl6tdQ
So we sailed above the gym
Suddenly my hands stop shaking and Im back on my feet.
Across the faculty parking lot529Please respect copyright.PENANA56uWwaT2Ip
My kindergarten boyfriend and I529Please respect copyright.PENANA3VkFqNLS6P
And a horse with wings
My heart high on today’s ‘breakfast’.
529Please respect copyright.PENANAkF24pb8nLp
Now we're all grown up and we know better
I just want to get it all out...
Now we recognize the way things are
But...
Certain boys are just for kindergarten529Please respect copyright.PENANAce3uTLFOuG
Certain girls are meant to be alone
I guess Im all alone..
But I believe any dream worth having529Please respect copyright.PENANA4EIMJbhzpq
So today's the day.529Please respect copyright.PENANAXhdPNe8sP2
Is a dream that should not have to end529Please respect copyright.PENANAsXhdNrDWCt
So I'll build a dream that I can live in529Please respect copyright.PENANAqkd0NwBctc
I sigh heavily, holding my arms out in despair.529Please respect copyright.PENANADSo18uTex9
And this time I'm never waking up529Please respect copyright.PENANAfnMNMJxnqR
My body swings dangerously, 529Please respect copyright.PENANA4SX4MQVKB1
And we'll soar above the trees529Please respect copyright.PENANA6sh1O7Fpdh
Back and forth..529Please respect copyright.PENANAiK9fu0GFlq
Over cars and croquet lawns529Please respect copyright.PENANAyGeGm7xNwm
Back...and...forth...529Please respect copyright.PENANAJoNUY2fkUF
Past the church and the lake529Please respect copyright.PENANA9fSoQ3bS1i
And the try-county mall
Suddenly, a new found fear dissolves into my dangerously unstable mind.
We will fly through the dawn529Please respect copyright.PENANAd2MxBG1CxZ
To a new kindergarten
I shake it off, tears blurring my vision;
Where nap time is centuries long
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
I let myself fall forward...
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh529Please respect copyright.PENANAQrETJHdidH
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
The thumps echo up the stairs, Soon falling in sync of the throbbing headache I have.
Ooh ooh
”NO!! DONT!” Wait—!
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