Mr. Pollack sighed as Crash and Spike walked into his office. He then began to rub his forehead in frustration. Spike couldn't help but snicker a bit.
"First period again?" Mr. Pollack asked, closing his eyes and setting his head on his hand. "Really?"
"Not our fault that Miss Ziegler is in a terrible mood again," Crash said. "She really needs to go to anger management classes or something, because I swear I'm starting to see smoke coming out of her ears."
"It's Ms. Ziegler, Myron. Also, I really wish y'all could've waited until at least third period before acting up. I had an awful morning and I'm not in the greatest of moods right now."
"Why is everyone in a bad mood today?" Spike asked. "Is there some sort of virus going around? The grump virus?"
"Why do the two of you always have some sort of smart remark to say? This is just getting old. I'm tired of seeing y'all in here and I'm tired of having to deal with y'all's behavior. It's getting old. And it's obvious that nothing I do ever works on you two. Do I need to hold y'all back a grade?"
"If you hold us back, can we have Miss Ziegler first period again?" Crash asked. "She's a really great alarm clock. You know, since she's always shouting."
Mr. Pollack put his hand on his forehead.
"You know what, forget it," he said, sighing again. "Maybe I'll think about holding y'all back sometime in the future, but right now I'm way too tired to even bother. Let's see...how angry did Ms. Ziegler get today?"
"She was so mad that her head burst like a volcano," Crash replied. "Her brains sprayed all over the floor. And then lava burst out of her open neck hole. And then she exploded."
"And then the pieces exploded," Spike said. "And then Miss Ziegler's ghost exploded."
"You know what, never mind," Mr. Pollack said, rubbing his forehead. "How does three days of ISS and a week of detention after that sound? Fair? Simple?"
"Three days of ISIS?!" Crash asked. "That's a little too much, sir!"
"Ha ha, you're absolutely hilarious, Myron. Three days in ISS it is."
Mr. Pollack wrote down everything on a piece of paper and then set it on a stack of other papers next to him. He then looked at his computer for a moment.
"So, do we start tomorrow?" Crash asked.
"Nope, you'll be heading to ISS in just a few minutes," Mr. Pollack replied.
"Ah, come on, sir! I Mr. Cramer said he would bring a whip yesterday! I wanna' see if he actually did!"
"He probably did. And it's a shame that I'm not going to get to see him going to town on y'all. It would've been amazing finally seeing some sense knocked into y'all."
"Don't you mean whipped into us, sir?" Spike asked.
"Yes whipped into you. Sorry for my poor word choice. Anyway, I'm sure Ms. Ziegler will also be sending two more referrals my way. That should be pretty fun to read. Honestly, the only thing I can say at this point is that it sure is a good thing that middle school performances aren't generally looked at by colleges. If that were the case, then y'all's reputation would be so damaged that I doubt even a community college would take you."
"Not if you sent a good word out for us, right?" Crash asked.
"Don't press your luck, brother."
"Can they at least know that I have a million dollar smile?" Spike asked.
"I really wish y'all lots of luck in your future. Really, I do."
"Thanks, Mr. Pollack," Crash replied. "I'll be sure to give a shout out to you somewhere on my Wikipedia page in the future."
"Can I have one, too?" Spike asked.
"Go to ISS, guys," Mr. Pollack said, sighing. "Try your hardest not to get on Mrs. Winchell's bad side today."
"I'll try my hardest, sir!" Crash said, standing up and walking out of the room. "But if Mrs. Winchell explodes, Spike's gonna' clean it up this time."
"Oh hell no," Spike said, following at him. "Hell freaking no. Mrs. Winchell is probably full of-"
Mr. Pollack didn't hear the rest of Spike's remark, but an angry shout he suddenly heard from Ms. McKibbon made it clear that it wasn't a pleasant one. Not that Mr. Pollack would ever have expected a pleasant remark to come from Myron Collins or David Bilodeau.
After taking another deep breath for a brief moment, he picked up his phone and dialed Ms. Ziegler's classroom phone number.
"Hello?" Ms. Ziegler said as she answered.
"Hey Steph," Mr. Pollack replied. "Can you stop by when you're free?"
"For what?"
"Just...you know."
Mr. Pollack heard Ms. Ziegler breathe into the phone.
"I'll get there as soon as I can," Ms. Ziegler said.
"Sure. I'll see you in a little bit."
Mr. Pollack hung up the phone and stared down at his desk for a moment.
"Yeah Garfield, I'm with you," he muttered to himself.
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