There was no modest feast planned as Estra and I had assumed. I gleaned from Cook that Lord Theodric had ordered a small private supper in the study for himself and his guests. Such an action was certainly a slight towards me.
Not only did he invite others to Highfire without speaking to me of it but now Theodric refused to let me be privy to their discussions. I had no doubt they were planning around the birth of a possible heir to the throne. I would not be used as a mere piece in their game, I was not a girl of thirteen anymore but a grown woman. Tulin Odovacar would have to contend with me for control over my own fate.
I seethed in my chamber, pacing before the fire as I ranted to Teàrlag. The old woman chewed on the end of her pipe, firelight dancing off the tattoos on her forearms as she pushed up her sleeves. Silence fell as she coughed out a puff of smoke.
“If you are so upset, go speak with them yourself.”
I blinked at her, “What are you suggesting? Go there unannounced like a pleading little girl begging for playmates.”
“No, as the mistress of Highfire. You are their hostess.” Teàrlag winked at me conspiratorially.
I caught her hint and snapped my fingers. “I will go have Cook prepare something.”
“And try to be charming, though I know the ability escapes you. Make an effort.”
I grimaced but didn't reply. But Teàrlag was right. I was still mistress of Highfire and I would not allow such an obvious insult.
I dressed in a wine red gown with a silver hem that dragged behind me and bound my hair back in a myriad of braids. The meal for the men had been plain so I spoke with Cook and she put together a few dishes to tempt them. The heavy meat coated in a rich sauce was carried behind me as I strode towards the study. I breathed in the scent of the lavender posy, trying to swallow my nausea. I prayed the sickness would last only a little longer.
Knocking on the door, I took a deep breath and straightened my spine. The anger in my gut had turned to apprehension. Perhaps they were discussing matters that had nothing to do with me. Then I would only come across as a nosy woman. But they couldn't be, not with the plans Theodric had revealed to me.
The door cracked open and Argath peered out. My hands went cold but I managed a slim smile. “Squire, I wish to see your master.”
He eyed me but did not open the door. “I fear he is busy, my lady.”
“I heard you had a long journey home through bad weather and only wish to enrich his table,” I calmly replied.
Silence followed as Argath's face disappeared. But the door did not close. Muted voices and the rustle of fabric then more silence. The door flew open. I jumped back and blinked in surprise at Theodric.
“My lady! I expected to see you at some point this evening,” Theodric boomed with a spell binding Vultuff smile though his eyes were still weary. “You are feeling better, I trust?”
“Quite,” I stammered as he took my hand and led me into the room. “I brought you something rich to eat when I heard your meal was so scant. I did not want our guest thinking badly of us here at Highfire.”
I glanced towards the unknown figure at the table. A napkin was tucked into his gold embroidered doublet, his long silver hair combed back in a braid that was fashionable ten years earlier. My own father had worn his hair in such a way. He certainly was my kin. He was as plain as the rest of us. My father's family was passionate and shrewd, the worst kind of enemy. But none of us were beautiful. With so little to recommend us, no wonder we had lost the crown.
“My lady, I have not seen you since you were a child.” He rose and bowed his head. “I am Tulin Odovacar.”
“I know who you are, my lord. Though I do wonder the reason for your presence here as Lord Theodric failed to inform me you were visiting.” I glanced over at Theodric with a furrowed brow.
Theodric laughed. “You see? She is just as I said, not beautiful perhaps but certainly formidable. A much more useful quality in my opinion.”
He pressed his hand into the small of my back as he led me into the room. I pulled away and shot him a glare. “I am still in the room, you know.”
Tulin Odovacar chuckled, “He knows. But I don't think you care whether people think you are beautiful or not.”
Though the statement was presumptive, I couldn't deny it's truth. “How do you know that?”
“Because you are all your father's side. Prideful but not vain. Reactive but not bombastic.”
“I'm impressed you can gather that much from only a brief exchange with me, my lord.”
Tulin shrugged, “Also from what Theodric has written about you.”
My heart lurched. He had been writing about me as well. For how long, I couldn't know. I hated not being privy to such plans and vowed to make him tell what he had in mind for me. “I can only hope he gave me a shining report.”
Theodric pulled a chair out for me at the table, his fingers brushing my elbow as he moved towards his own seat. I shivered, blocking out the horrifying thought that it was the same hand that had killed Brisam. I clenched my fists in my lap, a deep yearning to have Brisam at my side right then ripping through me. I fought the surge and maintained a placid stare.
“Since Theodric failed to tell me, I would like to know what your business is here at Highfire. You are from Primiad, are you not?”
“Yes. I have been residing at the court of the king for some time. At least since the death of your father.”
I couldn't help wondering if he had profited from my father's unexpected demise. Argath leaned over me and poured wine into my cup. Being among these men felt like taming a pack of wolves. Or bears as it very well could be.
“The roads were very bad riding in,” Theodric commented as he tore into a chicken leg and shredded the meat with his fingers. Grease slicked his fingers and I recoiled at the scent. “Snow was up to the waist and the wolves were hunting.”
“That's all very well but I did not come here to talk of what I can see out my own window, my lord.” I peered up into his bemused grin.
Tulin wiped his mouth. “Of course you did not. You think like me, like your father. Let's cut through the fat and get to the meat of our tryst here on top of the world. I'm assuming you know of the King's death?”
I nodded and sipped my wine.
“The queen is already being swayed by nobles from Ervig's family, the Vittamars. They are a crooked breed-”
“Who would probably say the same of us.” I smirked.
Tulin jutted out his jaw and lifted his cup to me. “Very true. But we have this one chance to gain back the throne from the pretenders. They had the audacity to steal the throne from a sick man and so will we from a child.”
“But to place a child on the throne in return.” I reminded them, gazing over at Theodric. “And one that we don't even know the gender of. I may be carrying a girl.”
Theodric leaned forward in his chair, his bedraggled black waves falling over his shoulders. “But there is the chance. We must make preparations for it.”
“Theodric here has aspirations to become a Kingmaker, something I failed at with your father, m'dear.”
I glared over at Tulin, perturbed by his familiarity with me. “Which leads me to ask another question of you, sir. Why did you persuade my mother to marry me off so soon and to a man much older?”
Argath shifted uneasily by the hearth while Theodric sat still as stone. Tulin narrowed his dark eyes at mine. “It was for your own safety. I cannot explain any more and will not. The matter is passed and your husband is dead. Now it is your choice whether you will take the path we are presenting to you or not.”
I stood, knitting my fingers over my stomacher and walking towards the window. The glass pane was cold under my fingers as I ran them over it. It was too dark to see the water's edge but I sought it as though I were searching for Dylene in the dark. I had to trust that she would see me through any storm, rain or snow. “May I tell you what I want, my lords?”
Theodric rose to his feet. His gaze was almost entreating, as though he was desperate for some hint at my inner meditation. “Please, Lady Hania.”
“I want my own life, without being under the command of another, especially a man. I know that is much to ask for in our country but this is the closest I will ever get to achieving that dream. Not only for me but my children.”
Argath lifted his chin, the harsh line of his mouth softening as he studied me. Tulin furrowed his brow. “I can only say, my lady, that if we suceed in this, you will not only have control over your life but the lives of many others. As Lady Mother to the King, you would possess power your father never touched.”
“And so I would be able to make myself and those I love safe.”
Theodric coughed. “But it is a dangerous path to tread.
I nodded in contemplation. “May I think on it some more? I promise I will give you my answer before you leave us, Lord Odovacar.”
“Of course, my lady.” Tulin bowed his head to me but did not stand.
Not wishing to overstay my welcome and having received what I came for, I left them to their meal.
For the first time in weeks, my dreams were vivid. Whether it was because of the wine I had drunk or my day spent in fevered prayer, I could not tell.
A smoky drift of sunlit green fields at high noon appeared. Two grand armies, one clad in gold with the figure of a red rams head in it's banner. The symbol of the Vultuff family and it's patron god, Noar with the curled horns. The other was led by a flag with a woman's body wrapped in the skin of a bear, the head of the beast baring it's fangs at the enemy.
The two leaders of the opposing forces dismounted and removed their helms. The one of the ram's head was golden, a thick curly mane like a lion with broad shoulders. The other was dark, his face likening to Theodric so much that I shivered at the sight. The two men stepped in front of their troops.
Claws sprouted from bare fingertips, bulk built in their backs and chests, fur eating up their human bodies. They roared as they reached their full monstrous heights. Two giant bears replaced their human forms, their paws slamming to the earth as they panted in anticipations.
Roars echoed across the fields as they hurtled towards each other, their men hollering their war cries as they followed. The bears clashed in a frenzy of teeth and blood. I awoke breathing hard.
I didn't understand it but I knew it had been a vision from Dylene. That was enough for me. I told Tulin and Theodric I would see my son on the throne if they could make it happen.
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