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Widow of Highfire
Writer Frances
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  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
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Widow of Highfire
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#4
The Ruins of Ignit Covert
Frances
Comments ( 16 )

- I like how Hania isn’t afraid to speak her mind and how she is staying true to herself. This chapter revealed a lot about her character and family; however, I felt like the pacing was slightly off. The scene with her brother escalated quickly. 
2 years agoreply

Aretice N. Treader - I like Hania's character, not out of personal attachment but rather an appreciation for the potential she has as a character. She could either grow positively because of the new situations she's facing, or she could sink to lower depths. I'm a bit excited to see which way she goes. (I'm not entirely sure what Brisam sees in her, but he knows her better than I do. I'm sure he can see more good in her, having known her before she became bitter and everything.)

Unimportant question about an insignificant detail: Are siblings often named with the same first syllables in their given names? Hania and Haneric, for example. Or is that just a coincidence?
2 years agoreply

Aretice N. Treader - Also, though I would not want to try to befriend Hania at this stage in her life, I do pity her for not having good relations with her family. (Except for her father, perhaps, but I'm not sure we've been revealed enough to know how things truly were between them.)
2 years agoreply

Frances - @Aretice N. Treader, Thank you so much for your critiques! As far as the name question is concerned, that was just the case with them. I guess I wanted to show that they are more similar than Hania is willing to see, she is kind of in denial about how much of a bitch she actually is but gradually begins to see it and instead of changing herself, she accepts it. 

This is SUCH a rough draft, its not even funny. I have several chapters mapped out that need to go in between these in Part One and A LOT of editing I want to do but I don't want to stop my roll until the whole first draft is done. These are very bare bones at the moment. I just had Hania's voice in my head and I needed to get her out on paper. I don't have affection for her either, she admits it herself that shes not a likable person, but shes got a lot of ways to grow. 

Honestly, I think I'm going to add some more interaction between Hania and Brisam to show their relationship and what he sees in her. But that's another thing that will be added later.
2 years agoreply

Aretice N. Treader - @Frances, Thank you for writing this story. Even as a rough draft, I think it's going very well! (I'm sorry I'm reading it so slowly, but I'm really trying hard to leave thoughtful comments to thank you for the amount of effort you've been putting into writing this story.) Honestly, for "bare bones," everything seems as if you've put quite a bit of thought into it.

I hope I didn't portray my thoughts wrong. While Hania isn't a very lovable character, I don't think that's a bad or good thing. I like that she's really complex. I don't mean to criticize her or anything—after all, no one can be liked by all. I just like her complexity more than Hania herself.

That's a good idea, yeah. I don't mean to be too critical of Hania x Brisam, either, sorry. I actually tend to stay away from romantic ships until I've grown to know the characters well enough to really consider them together. Everyone else seems to ship the two, so I think you're doing a very good job with the two. I'm sorry; it's really just my fault.
2 years agoreply

Frances - @Aretice N. Treader, oh my goodness! girl, please don't apologize! I want you to be honest!! You didn't at all, in fact your reaction to Hania is exactly what I'm shooting for, shes got a Scarlett O'hara thing going on where you don't like her but you do admire her. She is mostly inspired by a real person in history, Margaret Beautfort the mother of King Henry VII of England, and that's exactly how I feel about her so it sounds like I'm on the right track.

And please don't worry about not being super into Brisam/Hania, I am picky about my ships too and I know I just threw the two of them out there, it needed more build but you'll see what happens there.

Don't you dare apologizing, you give INCREDIBLE feedback. Just the kind of stuff I need since you read critically very well. Thank you, you are amazing!
2 years agoreply

Aretice N. Treader - @Frances, Oh, I'm so relieved that my comments are helping you and that you appreciate them. I'm always afraid that I'll unnecessarily offend other authors with my comments. >.<

I took the liberty of reading the Wiki page (I know, so credible XD) of Margaret Beaufort, and wow, the Countess of Richmond and Derby really is such an interesting person! It's no wonder you had to base an equally interesting character off her. I really pity Margaret, for being a widow three times by age 28. That's just awful.

I'm really looking forward to seeing how both Brisam and Hania grow in the story to come.
2 years agoreply

Frances - @Aretice N. Treader, what's interesting about her marriages though, none of them were for love and it seems like the only person she ever loved was her son and she became the mother of the greatest dynasty England ever saw, she was a super cool lady
2 years agoreply

Heminor - I have never thought of such a creative way to display insincerity 
2 years agoreply

Frances - haha, thank you! you mean Haneric or Hania? They are both hot messes thats for sure. 
2 years agoreply

Heminor - @Frances, While I can't remember any names for the life of me, the line that went something like "an understanding smile that didn't reach his eyes" struck me as to mean insincerity. Am I wrong? As for the characters, the style of historical writing is still new to me, and so I'm not yet fully aware of the complete character portraits, having mostly to rely on what's overtly explained rather than implied
2 years agoreply

Frances - @Heminor, yes exactly! And yes, that is her brother. She is a mess but he's worse
2 years agoreply

Heminor - @Frances, True enough! So far what I can tell of these historic type characters is that not much is hidden, and without modern access to counsel and the like, the symptoms of depression are common, as well as devotion to religion and physical scarring being equated to emotional strength. 

And was was it not the... Servant? Who was insincere with his reassurances?
2 years agoreply

Frances - @Heminor, Brisam is more guarded. He cares for Hania which is why he tries to reassure her even though he is upset to see her distressed by the state of her home. He isn't being insincere there in a malicious way, its more like a white lie.

And yes definitely. Hania is actually inspired by a real historical figure that I find fascinating, Margaret Beaufort. She was the great grandmother of Queen Elizabeth I. She had her only son when she was thirteen and schemed him onto the throne. She was known for being fanatically religious as well but a real ball buster. I think she's a bad ass.
2 years agoreply

Heminor - @Frances, Yes, that is the sense that I got from Brisam. I also enjoy the subplots of power struggles, unveiled by social obligation or a sense of justice. Especially that Hania is so messed up at the moment and so alone that she's unable to maintain the needed authority over Brism, now that the people that held authority over both her and Brism are gone, and her sudden freedom from being the underdog to having to be alpha has her experiencing things that she's unable to swiftly deal with. The good old-fashioned fight for respect is always intriguing 


yeah, for the time that does seem very badass! Makes me excited to see how this character evolves.. 
2 years agoreply

Frances - @Heminor, Thank you so much! Wow, I'm so glad I am being clear in her character development. That makes me feel so much better! She's kind of a bitch but I love her for it.
2 years agoreply

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