It’s been two weeks since the renovation begun. Isolation has been installed on the walls, the bathroom is ready and right now I’m supervising the lime green kitchen counters being installed. Not a big deal as I only got four cupboards.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgIChaz5kS
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Apart from Cleo and Max, Damien and I spend a lot of time together those two weeks. We even decided to take the trip to Italy soon after the renovation is done. He gave me the space I needed though; not trying anything as to kiss me again. I did catch him staring a couple of times; making my heart tremble, but Alex never left my mind.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXwEQEMo3u
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I was starting to feel like I had a ghost. I felt him with me everywhere I went. I felt him holding me every time I tried to convince myself to feel better. I couldn’t believe that such a short period of time with someone would grow such a big addiction.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7cXvPSWMR
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The kitchen was done and the workers had left me alone in the empty renovated garage. I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. I tried to catch my breath only to start hyperventilate; my heart pounding against my chest.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCjDY9dR9T
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I sat down next to my new kitchen counter and put my head between my legs. My sight blurred from the tears and felt revealed as the ache from my chest was leaving me. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I inhaled and exhaled but no air filled my lungs. I panicked for a moment but then I sat up, and begun breathing slowly and steady.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGX6qLXCTU
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I was trying to calm myself down when I felt someone next to me; startling me. I opened my eyes and saw Damien. I wiped away my tears with the back of my palm and looked down; a sob leaving my lips. He reached out and pulled me into his arms; holding me tight.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsqh8odur5
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“Come on ladybug. Calm down,” he whispered into my ear. I curled up into his arms tried to calm down. I felt safe.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjftLZcBFqO
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I didn’t want for Damien to see me like this; not knowing that not so long ago I used to cry over him. Crying for not being able to show him what I felt.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlzvUt2uSt
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I slightly pulled back gazing at the floor. Damien whipped the moisture from my eyes softly. I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch and calming down. Until I felt his lips hitting mine. A sigh left my lips and as I opened them to breath; the kiss turning more fierce.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYZpST8xib
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My mind went blank and I just kissed him back; tasting my tears. When reality hit me, I pulled back; covering my lips with my fingers.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JKSWyzM5A
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“I shouldn’t...” I murmured to myself. I shouldn’t have kissed him back. It wasn’t fair.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYra9C1lPb
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“I'm sorry,” he whispered “I'm really sorry,” and shifted so that he had his back on the counter.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbbGHiGuQD
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“Maybe we should postpone the trip,” I suggested. I wasn’t over Alex and this wasn’t the way I wanted for things with Damien to start. He wasn’t just a rebound guy for me.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkGjx4YASL
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“As you wish,” he said and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y2CyvVmmY
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“This,” I began searching for words “This can’t happen now,” I murmured.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWrMEudQnO
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“I know,” he nodded and a moment later he started walking towards the door.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT2pt8YfWX
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The only thing left to do was moving my stuff from my room to the garage and buy or steal some stuff from my mother’s kitchen.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dj82iMc2i
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Cleo and Lexie came with me to IKEA to buy random things for the decoration. Max, Mike and Damien helped with the boxes and my bed. I was surprised that Damien showed up that day. I didn’t expect him to do so after the second kiss we shared.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Stcr2GBXF
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I was with the girls in the garage, unpacking my stuff and listening to RnB while dancing. For the first time in a long time I was actually enjoying myself. But I guess fate didn’t want me to. The girls were frozen at the sight of someone behind me.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtILlxNl54
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“What?” I asked confused. Cleo fidgeted her way to the radio and killed the music. That wasn’t good. I slowly turned around and froze there; forgetting even to breath as my heart skipped a beat.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOdd8wY0yH
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“Call me,” Cleo called and hurried with Lexie to the door. I shook my head, recovering, and waved at her.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7cOCZnOah
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“Hello,” I manage to say, not even bothering to smile. Alex was standing in front of me wearing an expensive black suit looking gorgeous as always; his hands in his pockets.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlKK0cvXU8
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“Hello,” he said; his tone soft. He, unlike me, smiled slightly “Like what you’ve done with the place,” he said looking around “Damien helped?”512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIepT7taEYK
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“Thank you. Yes he did,” I replied smiling awkwardly. He turned his eyes on me and I looked away quickly.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1970vRhpK
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“I missed your smile,” he said and I felt like I was suffocating.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyw2xUnHu4k
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“Why are you here?” I snapped.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyd8f58IeIx
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“I just wanted to see you.” I think I heard a cocky tone on his voice; that only bothered me more.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvY8E4i0Aaa
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“It’s been three weeks Alex.” My voice cold.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluCpsPnmVY
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“I’ve missed you,” he replied and I turned around, walked to the fridge grabbing a soda. I felt like crying. Now he remembered that he missed me? I put the soda on the kitchen counter and opened it; my back to him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRGyGOidLs
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“It hurts,” I mumbled and rested my hands on the counter-top “I can’t. Leave, please,” my voice cracking. I heard him walking up to me; I could smell the familiar cologne. I turned around and faced him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6MZsUXwzG
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“Come over tonight. We’ll have a drink and talk,” he almost sounded pleading.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDdNj1ySLk
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“What’s there to say?” I asked and got away from him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMWoBpyx0q
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“I want to explain why,” he said, not moving from where I’ve left him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnDYTZso1K
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“I don’t know,” I mumbled. I wanted to go but I was scared.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVkKYm4whw
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“I’ll be waiting for you at eight,” he said sounding confident. I’ve almost miss his arrogant attitude. He came close and before I could move away, he leaned down and kissed my cheek; my heart imploding.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2fohmm4n7
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He walked to the door, not taking a glance behind him and closed it as he stepped outside. I was left alone trying to take in what just happened.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcmgQ7PcXs
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It’s 7:45 and I’m sitting on my couch. I’ve showered, fixed my hair but instead of getting dressed I sat there with my towel wrapped around my body; doing absolutely nothing.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8mSidwW1P
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I haven’t decided on whether I would go meet him or not. I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and pressed number 3 on speed-dial.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRqoG7Dytb
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“Hey. Dressed yet?” Cleo asked.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vnoVpxxsw
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“I don’t know what to do,” I sighed.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKsekQ8AOM
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“Get dressed. Be fabulous and sexy and go,” she said “If you’re feeling uncomfortable or don’t like what he has to say all you have to do is leave.” I thought about it for a moment and agreed as it sounded reasonable enough.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeD6AHYXZkF
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“Call me,” she said and I could hear the smile in her voice.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOsggMxeIG
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I got up and walked to my closet. Tonight I would be as fabulous as ever. I always thought that we looked weird together; him wearing always formal pants and shirts while I was looking like a girl that was forgotten behind by the seventies. So tonight, I wanted to feel like an equal. I wore my skinny jeans with a red loose top and my favorite black long vest. I did my makeup, wore my black peep toe heels, grabbed my little black bag and got into my ’69 purple beetle.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RZorYoYUJ
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I knocked on his door at 8:20. I waited for Morris, his butler, to come to the door but not tonight; tonight he appeared at the door. He was wearing black pants and a gray shirt, leaving two buttons opened –unlike usual as he always wears a tie-.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9MoLQSndm
My heart fluttered as our eyes met. He looked so handsome.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xnnm5o4rj
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“Welcome,” he smiled and took a step back so I could walk in.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaQC8QZKHP
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“Hello,” I smiled back and walked passed him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsH5SMqUaX
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“Let’s go to the bar,” he said putting one hand lightly on my waist while he motioned towards the dining room with the other.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qtblfs5lc
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We walked into the dining room, where we had lunch the first time I came to his house and to the double doors on the opposite wall from where we came in. It was a room I never saw before; painted in a dark shade of blue with a pool table on the right, next to the wide windows. On the left there was a corner couch facing the room and at the far end the bar he was referring to.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66n3Lb9ECM
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He walked straight behind the bar counter. I stayed on the other side; sitting on one of the stools.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqPKrKEJfZ
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“Beer I assume?” he asked.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctINU39Ucj
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“Old habits die hard,” I smiled; habits like drinking beer; partying; sleeping around.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaE00BS5gg
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“Not always,” he said softly and I almost rolled my eyes at his comment. He opened a beer bottle and poured vodka into his glass, took both our drinks and rounded the bar.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDESK8GhKY1
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I slightly turned my stool to the side so I could face him as he sat on the stool beside me, giving me my bottle. I left my bag on the counter and took a sip of my beer, looking away from him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXhOvYeVP9
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“You’re very beautiful tonight,” he said and I could feel his eyes on me.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIbSAZ9NuI
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“Why did you come back?” I said impatiently. I couldn’t sit here and make small talk with him while his mere presence makes my heart ache. He sighed in response.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwUnXUeR5p
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“I’ve missed you,” he said. If it wasn’t for his arrogant tone it would be very nice thing to hear.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiW7U6jIfKB
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“So?” my voice flat. His arrogance was one of the things that irritated and attracted me at the same time.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DYoibAH40
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“What do you mean?” he asked confused “I wanted to see you again, that’s why. I wanted to see how you were.”512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehlrz2J3nU
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I took a big sip from my beer and got up from the stool; walked a few steps, thinking.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEUdrpTO6Z
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“Let me get this right,” I paused “We spend a great weekend together –where obviously I misapprehended several things,” I said quickly but then decreased my tone “Then you ignore me for a week,” I paused “Cheat on me,” I paused once more thinking this over “Eventually leave town without a word,” I said raising an eyebrow “And you’re showing up at my door after a month because you felt like seeing me again?” I demanded.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeVaQRMmfY
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“You broke up with me,” he mattered almost defeated. But his accusation was over the top. He ripped my heart out and put the blame on me for breaking up with him?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdGm8YFLrf
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“You’re so arrogant,” I spit “You can’t always have what you want,” I said bitterly and grabbed my bag from the counter. He came back expecting what? Me, waiting for him with open arms as if nothing happened? He put his hand on my wrist to stop me from walking away.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3EEi2diT8
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“Erica, wait...Please,” he said in a low voice.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK40c9alZeu
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“Why?” I asked and turned to look at him “You wanted to see me. Here I am,” I waved my hands around me “Wanted to know how I am? I’m fucking fabulous, love,” I said sarcastically glaring at him; a bitter smile on my lips.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OKHQUQoVj
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“When did you get so cold?” he asked. His question surprised me. I thought he would speak another arrogant thought.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xtQMVYQYK
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“I had a great teacher,” I breathed. He put his glass on the counter and got up. I just stared at him. He walked up to me, my heart pounding inside my chest, cupped my face and leaned down to touch his lips onto mine. I didn’t have time to move; so I just didn’t kiss him back. He pulled away only to rest his forehead against mine.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ylJ5MleG1
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“I know you still want me,” he whispered as his thumbs were stroking my cheeks. He kissed me again. I was about to kiss him back but I pushed him away. He looked at me and I could see in his eyes that he knew I wanted him still.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBlkQZHIYC
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“You’re so arrogant,” I whispered breathing heavily; fighting the urge to kiss him. He smirked and pulled me to him; cupping my face and forcing his lips on mine. My hands against his chest; my breath came into a gasp and my fingers tighten around the expensive fabric of his shirt.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFN5hKibLih
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This time I kissed him back eagerly. I relaxed as I felt his tongue brushing mine; his familiar taste in my mouth again. My hands traveled upwards, around his neck; my fingers mingled in his blond hair. My heart was going to explode and tears run down my cheeks. He must have noticed because he pulled away, only to rest his forehead against mine; looking at me.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN3F4e6fJo
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“Are you okay?”512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbG9jFYitoj
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“Why you left?” I asked lowering my eyes, trying to catch my breath.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmXgMSPm5V
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“You left me” he said quietly.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT39qImD0O1
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“Oh my God, Alex,” I exclaimed impatiently; pushing away from him. This man knew how to push me to my limits and drive me insane. “You left without a word Alex,” I exclaimed “I’ve read it in the newspapers!” I was boiling now. I could feel my heartbeat increasing again “Have you got any idea what it felt like? How much it all hurt and still is?” I breathed; tears oozing from my eyes.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHfkGfHotf
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“I wouldn’t have left if I knew you felt so much,” he said and pulled me back to him “You made me fall in love with you,” he admitted whispering “That’s why I cheated. That’s why I let you broke up with me and that’s why I left.”512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6IvZVJ8CK
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I was looking at him not knowing what to do. He came back as I wanted and he was finally letting me know how he felt. But was I strong enough to take him back? I was scared. What if he cheated again or what if he got bored? Logic was screaming for me to walk out that door and keep my heart away from him. But all my heart wanted right now, was to hold him and touch him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UkeqnwXFE
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I took a deep breath and walked back to him. I put my palm against his cheek and stroked his beautiful lips with my thumb; a small smile appearing on my lips. It was all he needed to see. He leaned down and kissed me again. He slowly brushed my tongue with his but quickly his kiss turned more passionate.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMLa9x0gkV
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“Let’s go to my room,” he breathed against my lips.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eqV0kG2vN
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He took my hand and led the way upstairs and to another room I never saw before. He opened the door and waited for me to get inside first. I walked in but only took a glimpse of the room for as soon as he closed the door he hugged me from behind, planting soft kisses on my neck.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyvihFapLZ
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I turned around and pushed him towards the bed; making him seat on the edge as I stood between his legs. He smiled and put his hands on my hips as I unbutton the rest of the button of his shirt. I threw my waistcoat and my belt on the floor and leaned down to kiss him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhJzwS9yO5
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He took off my top and unbuttoned my jeans, letting them fall to the floor. I knelt down between his legs and kissed his lips while unbuttoning his pants and then trailed down to his neck and chest. As I reached the waistband of his boxers he leaned back, resting his palms on the mattress and looking at me with lust.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTC4X49kD4
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I licked my lips and pulled down his boxers. I bit my lip as he was already hard and took his length into my hand; sliding up and down. I looked at him once again and put it in my mouth. He leaned back, resting his palms against the mattress and tilting his head back as I slide my mouth and hand quickly on his length making him moan. I pulled away for a minute but kept my hand there; making smaller moves. I looked at him and licked the bold vane from the base of his shaft to the top. I cupped the head and licked it making him moan.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c8gMUZmd8
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“Come on,” he breathed and pulled me on the bed. He pushed me slightly on my back and placed his hand between my legs; stroking my clit. He suddenly entered two fingers inside of me making me moan. He kept his fingers there; pushing them in and out while making circles on my clit with his tongue. I collected fistful of the sheets in my hands as he kept going. He licked and sucked the sensitive skin making me climax with loud moans.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLbazdeokM
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He took the time I needed to catch my breath and put on a condom. He came on top of me and begun kissing my lips softly. I pushed him back against the mattress and climbed on top of him. He smiled and helped me slid on his length; sitting down and letting him fill me slowly. He kept his hands on my waist and hips as I slid up and down more quickly every time.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A7zCJ4v9J
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Only moments later, emotions rushed through me as I was coming near the end. Butterflies erupted my stomach and I began hyperventilating as his grip on my hips tightened. But then the butterflies turned to something else; I felt the heartache again. My stomach flipped, my chest ached and I was on the verge of tears. As my walls shuddered around him, my jaw tightened and pushed his hands abruptly against the mattress; leaning on top of him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEaJHD6JUB
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He shivered beneath me and I let go of myself; arching my back and my feelings disappeared like redemption was brought by my orgasm. I rolled off of him and collapsed on the bed next to him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PEuGfbuvi
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I got up and walked to the bathroom; closing the door behind me. I was confused. I didn’t know if I wanted to give him another chance or not. I’ve missed him but I was scared that he would hurt me again.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGM4Esk8OE
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“Erica?” I heard him call outside the door. I washed my hands and opened the door.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7V6v49fON
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“Hey,” I smiled.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZercSITyZ
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“You okay?” he asked as I stood in front of him and kissed his chest.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLM1xdLnZg
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“Yes,” I lied. He leaned down and kissed my lips before leading me back to bed.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgJhXHdbfA
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I woke up by the touch of his fingers stroking my naked back. I was lying on my side; his hand underneath my neck. I kept my eyes closed as he tangled his fingers softly in my hair. At first I felt happiness filling me but as became more conscious fear rushed through me again. I breathed deeply and half opened my eyes.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxXcrz3nqc
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“Good morning,” he whispered; kissing the spot underneath my ear. I let out a soft murmur, making it sound like «good morning» and got up from the bed, wore his shirt, buttoning one button only and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and my teeth and went back inside the room. The moment I entered the room, he did too, from the other side of the bed.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNaqysIn5Y
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“What’s in there?” I asked curious.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd7d5STiJt
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“A bathroom,” he smiled. I winced, raising an eyebrow and fell into the bed.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKrB9euXbK
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“You’re going to ruin my shirt,” he said faking a serious look. I groaned. It was too early for small talk. He flipped me over and started kissing my neck slowly while his hands traveled down my body.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6K67zpqeCo
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“Today, you’re going to forget everything,” he paused to kiss me, and I didn’t know if he meant me attacking him last night or the confusion in my head “And make love to me,” –kissed me again- “Slowly and sweet.” I just smiled and let him have his way with me; at least I could enjoy him.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFgvc42cYQ
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I might have felt confused and scared about letting go and giving him another chance but while making love with him I was fully there and with him. When he collapsed on top of me, I wrapped my legs around his waist and kept him there until we caught our breaths.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9iwrBXv15
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He rolled to the side and pulled me on to his chest; wrapping his arms around me. We lay there in silence for several moments before I begun panicking. What if I couldn’t leave now? What if I made the wrong decision?512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYs4UX5yWz
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“You haven’t decided yet,” he muttered. I don’t know if it was meant to be a question, but he said it like stating a fact. I breathed trying to think of something to say but there’s nothing I could say at that moment. Because no matter what I said, it would have been a lie. I couldn’t tell him what I didn’t know.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48YnmyzdK3
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“I'm really sorry,” he whispered, his grip tightening around me. I guess my silence spoke for me. I sighed and kissed his skin. I wanted to say that I was scared and confused but I felt like my tears would beat me to it so I chose to stay silent yet again.512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5q5X4Xe1SD
♠ ♠ ♠
Title Credit:512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNJomoJ8yG
This Is How It Feels by The Veronicas512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtlA7jAufH
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too many steamy chapters I know..but I wasn't writing this the same time as Just a fling so..forgive me:P512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwju5q4gDj
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comments my lovely and fabulous readers and subscribers?? :)
