I prayed for this time to be easier. I wished that this time won’t be as hard as the last time we broke up but the hole in my chest was there again. And it hurt.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQy6D1VQz2
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His words still echo in my mind; his reply, that I loved him enough to make him love me back. Some nights, when I feel weak, those words run through my head again and again, like a broken old vinyl. And a giant “what if” is tattooed in my mind. What if he really meant it? What if he really did love me after all? What if?491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMBlo4NXsS
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fJFDjtEyr
At this point I would toss and turn in my bed, torturing myself with questions. It was the worst part of the day; the part where I would be most weak and vulnerable. I was trying to keep myself from sending him a message. Just an “I miss you” would do enough damage to me. I didn’t know what his response would be but I broke up with him for a reason. He cheated twice. It was enough.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgUM8qYOga
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaInKYXiRf5
I pushed the sheets off of my body and got up. I threw my mobile on the couch, got my car keys, wore my sandals and left the garage. I was wearing only a tanktop and a short but it didn’t care; where I was headed I didn’t need to put on an outfit. I just wanted to be away from my phone.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlNsACJpmj
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzSNC8RWON
I stopped at the red light. There was a car beside me but the sad song coming from the speakers distracted me.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ut6ev1Nwo
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFTnsD6m3U
“..how do you love with a faith full of rust, how do you turn what the savage take..”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWwa5jlG1F
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I groaned and pushed play on the CD.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbSTtG3sY3
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszT8GJ4BBQ
“..I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been It's your right and your ability to become my perfect enemy..”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuclGd1zqs5
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mewvCzh0j
That’s more like it. I would rather be angry at him; fantasizing a revenge. I wouldn't go any further than I already have -sending a girl to have sex with him and report back was enough- but imagining that I could yell at him and hating made me feel better. The moment my eye caught sight of the green light the driver from the car next to mine pushed his horn. I didn’t turn to see why.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EfEkrZVym
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUhyEosaRM
As Metallica followed the previous song, I didn’t hear anything else but the music as I drove to the clearing in the middle of the night. I turned off the engine but kept the music on. I hate silence.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBbPX93XbD
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hcjk3oWYN
I pushed back my seat and crossed my legs on it; leaning back. I closed my eyes and tried to lose myself in the music. I heard tires on the road behind and my eyes snapped open. Who would drive here at 3 o’clock in the morning? The first thing I did was to push down the locks. Then I turned my eyes on the review mirror to see the car. The driver had the lights on so I didn’t have any luck.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvl7A6M0HYF
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzpX35LqUA
The car came into a stop right next to mine and I could look at the car and the driver. I furrowed my eyebrow in confusion but in relief also. It was Damien.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjIL5A1m9V
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegAk9MGsnp
I saw him getting out of the car and walking towards my door. I unlocked the door and opened it; getting out just as he came closer.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlEZN8vegh
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKazx9bQ1G
“Hey,” he said and stopped behind the opened door.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnHSUkv4xL
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUddQc5hxl
“Hey,” I replied, confused “What are you doing here?”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZa7WwsLht
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvx6jSvBuso
“What are you doing here?” he asked “Its 3 o’clock in the morning!” he said.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUCAMgNPlm
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRCJchAIWS
“Who made you my dad?” I scoffed. What’s with him? I sat back in my seat, my legs bended on the door frame. He came at the other side of the door, so he was now standing in front of me.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0hjyLktdc
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5dhxGuKTW
“Sorry,” He apologized, seating on his lap “I just saw you at the red light and I was worried and you weren’t answering your phone so I followed you,” he explained while I was looking anywhere but him.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGgHn7U94S
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSnSpDNEBb
“Oh that was you,” I said, realizing that he was the driver next to me earlier. “My phone is at home,” I mumbled.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡym7H0q9DMw
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJa0vYzh8Q
He didn’t speak for another minute or two. He got up and right when I though he was leaving, he walked across my car and opened the passenger’s seat and sat next to me. I turned towards the wheel; sitting straight.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqG8GWPbcgY
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmCsTMphmE
“How are you?” he asked. I sighed deeply, not wanting to answer. I didn’t want to cry over Alex in front of Damien again.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcncv1ORdFk
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4tH6hb4KA
“I'm alive,” I replied looking at my folded legs before me “How are you?” I asked.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRql0vcj7rC
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz9XzyA6QV
“I'm alive.”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XIZonCbKF
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFRedYy77U
“What? Problems at the honeymoon suit?” I chuckled; remembering his girlfriend.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlob19856RR
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“Something like that,” he replied his tone serious; unlike mine.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZX0lqVODJ
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7WdhZAyT7
“Don’t worry. It will pass,” I said, painting my voice with false hope “As long as she doesn’t cheat,” didn’t manage to mask my bitter tongue here.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaxCLxChbj
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzO6SLg5AWX
“It’s not her. It’s me,” he mumbled.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBvdZBG523
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“Why?” I asked “If you want to tell me of course,” I added quickly. I saw him flinch at my question.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnltjlENjZd
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1OuqxV9te
“How can you be like that? Seriously,” he snapped; turning towards me.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtIRtPMwxK
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“What do you mean?” I asked confused.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLT65i2BLa
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eAMblsCQH
“Like that!” he motioned towards me “After everything that happened and you still keep the act,” I still couldn’t understand what he was saying. I kept quiet, too scared to ask him again what he meant.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYirZctwuj
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWWKtOQ2VO
“I’ve kissed you twice and both times you kissed me back,” he began “And even with all the staring…” I shifted my torso “You’re…” I didn’t let him finish, grabbed his face in my hands and crushed my lips onto his. I felt his shock but as I parted my lips, he relaxed and parted his lips too; his tongue entering my mouth.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbExOdxUAg
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeHCSxmdR8
As soon as I realized that I was actually kissing Damien, that I was the one that made the first move; a moan escaped my throat. But I didn’t care; I was too emotionally tired to feel shy. He broke the kiss and pushed back the seat; pulling me on top of him. I thanked my old car for the wide seats and put one leg on either side of him as our lips met again. He put one hand on my hip and the other on the back of my neck; through my hair.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfbzswJmoy
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsto0nSckSy
I loved this man. I loved everything about him. The way he made me laugh, the way he teased me, the way he looked in the morning, his beautiful eyes, his touch, his lips, his sweet taste. A sigh escaped my lips and he pulled me even closed to his body. He pushed me away suddenly and I looked at him confused.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwBJyNGw4t
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRctdY2bjDH
“What’s wrong?” I asked.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNU5z813bC
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“Sorry,” he chuckled “but if we keep this up, I won’t be able to drive home,” he grinned.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICj3oz8NQe
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“You don’t have any condoms with you?” I asked and he raised his eyebrows. I think I surprised him with my bluntness.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOQIaKzP4k
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshGevcVXf5
“No,” he winced. I smiled and kissed him again before returning to my seat. If he kept this going, I would go all the way. That’s what I was thinking at least. I don’t know what I would do when the time would come.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yhOoiZ4pD
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvFTLQkzmZ
Thankfully things came that way though. I didn’t want for this to happen like this. I wanted it to be great; because with him everything felt right. The hole in my chest didn’t exist.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQtziJcdvg
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[+++]491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSYYJcqJei
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“You look funny,” Max said; looking at me as I joined him at the backyard. I found him sitting at the table next to the pool, drinking his afternoon coffee.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVju6dZJLp
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“Excuse me?” I raised my eyebrows as he removed his RayBan sunglasses.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lSMsHt5OB
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“Something happened? You look weird,” he replied with a question. Damn. Was it that obvious?491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsNdJ1wU2Z
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cYA0btr9f
“No,” I lied “I'm just feeling better,” I half smiled and sat down beside him.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGD1d9ufuP
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“That’s good,” Max nodded and put the glasses back on his face. With the corner of my eye I’d noticed Damien passing through the kitchen door.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXW6jli5vB
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPDYX76Yyq
“I'm going to get something to drink,” I told Max and he nodded. I needed to see what Damien’s behavior would be. Then, I would know if I had to freak out about Cleo and Max and whether I would tell them or not.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHPt2jKQPL
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My question was answered as I entered the kitchen and his face light up. It was good to see that I made him feel like that.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6TM9Q0ckW
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jmxHkI9WD
“Hello,” I greeted him; smiling as I walked to the fridge. I still wasn’t sure though.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhfJWvGQX9
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQi2JX3n6DX
“Hello to you too,” he replied as I opened the door. He came behind me to return the juice bottle. He put one hand on the small of my back and kissed my shoulder before returning where he was. My heart was bouncing.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pqAMou2RS
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwfSSh3SKQ
“Hey sweety,” I heard Cleo calling from behind me. If my heart was bouncing before; it was nothing compare to this. Did she saw Damien kissing my shoulder? Doubt it. She would say something if she saw him.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwG2K2PednQ
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM41uOkXyf8
“Hi,” I said and grabbed the juice bottle. I closed the fridge and smiled at her. I felt Damien’s eyes on my face before he walked to the door that led to the living room.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXzYMmdMRq
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY510810vw8
“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Cleo asked me, taking the juice bottle from next to my glass on the kitchen counter. I didn’t have the time to answer for Damien returned to the kitchen.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6ogxTAZX6
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“Oh, Ladybug, I have a book that you might like. Come up to my room for a second,” he motioned towards the stairs with his head.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRptF9QIlgi
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“In a bit,” Cleo asked for me.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNn1GBhCBqS
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“In a bit,” I repeated and he disappeared from the doorway.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeRcRHliL4
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“So?” Cleo asked.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50DiGqbv4z
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRwNeo9Rl4
“Let’s go for a beer at “Johnny’s,”” I suggested “I need a healthy dose of metal and beer,” I smiled sheepishly; making her laugh.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFMx3ETFPc
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCNASvNK3j
“You mean you need to get drunk.”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiNsN3mYAU
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtKLQAA5Cq
“Yehh...and metal music shaking my bones,” I said with the same tone. It’s been a while since we last went at my favorite bar. I need the loud music to ease my brain.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEFF3GEAGa
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“Done,” She nodded with a smirk as I walked towards the doorway that led to their rooms.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulNAXiPvVZ
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“Where’re you going?” she asked confused “Max is out back.”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hSw7qTDu9
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16jp35soAw
“You know, the guy that stood in the doorway before wasn’t a hologram,” I mocked.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrYPP85Ylh
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“Oh yeah. Right,” she laughed and went out the kitchen door.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7exCFaGuQ
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhLCJOZddK
I went up the stairs and to Damien’s room thinking about Cleo and her reaction if she found out about last night. What am I going to do?491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEBG5bpk0J
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Hlun1jGE8
Okay. First things first; let’s see what Damien thinks. I knocked on his door and when I heard his soft voice replying and the door opened. He was standing right next to it, looking at his bookshelf.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltQ771Zndc
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWB6NdOTpDr
“Hey,” I smiled and closed the door behind me.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFSxOsuNHO
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“Hey Ladybug,” he grinned. That was a good or a bad sign? I didn’t know.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFO2iSAMH6
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ekpxYjTWp
“Here,” he said and gave me an architectural book. There really was a book then. He sat on his couch and looked at me as I sat down on his bed; three meters away from where he was seated.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdYo9rHp4h
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDo5xGDG5v
I was seating as far away as possible. We almost had sex last night you stupid stupid man and you giving me a book? I opened the book and take a look at the designs.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCiLpkCdSY
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWT83JBYin
“Cool,” I mumbled.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVgJ16XuPJ
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“You can sit outside the room if you want,” he said sarcastically and I looked up at him.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZC1XSVKQ4
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“Huh?”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxNo3mDMgz
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“Come here,” he sighed. I stood up and sat next to him on the couch; keeping my eyes in the pages of the colorful book. I was feeling awkward.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgC3AUSCeH
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfnqqId0zF
“Really nice,” I smiled.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp56g4VqPzw
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKCzdZ9YqV
“You can have it.”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYQBNuLyHa
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgurN1Ur5ad
“What?” I looked at him. This was a huge book, probably 600 pages, it must worth a lot.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MmFXxsnhi
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF81Nd4ZmDm
“You can have it.”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOofILMg6jC
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPoGxP2olq
“No,” I shook my head and he was about to protest “I'm here all the time anyway, I can borrow it anytime,” I explained. He didn’t reply.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XUGXq1PWI
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQtCFkaqB2
I licked my bottom lip in frustration and the moment I looked away, his lips crashed onto mine; his hands on either side of my face. I gasped as I felt his soft lips on mine. I kissed him back for a little bit before I pushed him away and covered my lips with the back of my palm.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBlUjfdeRm
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“What’s wrong?” he asked.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZagVE5Xnxf
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“Max and Cleo are downstairs,” I mumbled.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXO0Wyeiap2
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“So?”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVBuANHKRv
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“Are you kidding me?” my eyes widened and he shook his head. “Cleo will probably stop talking to me if she finds out.”491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDS36Rz0iB
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“So, I guess, I can’t say anything,” he said.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyVUW1eaZ8
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“Of course not,” I said and then I remembered something “Um, don’t you have a girlfriend?” I raised an eyebrow.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUn6dfUFlkY
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“I'm breaking up with her tonight,” he said simply.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQMvgbJZns
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“What? Why?” I panicked. His eyes moved away from me; widening like the reasons where obvious.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HyKVgy2gU
491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDYlNpdXvo
“Because of me?” I asked and stood up “No. No,” I shook my head. What if he didn’t like me? He knew me since we were kids, yes, but he didn’t knew me all that well.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsxzySpDUt
What if he suddenly realized that he didn’t liked me and regretted breaking up with his girlfriend?491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBKMWQIUXu
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“Fine,” he said and for a moment my heart fell. I didn’t want him to break up with her because of me but it would be nice thing to do.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQATD8hGZs
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“I'm not breaking up with her because of you,” he continued. Again my heart fell. “Does that sound better to you?” he mocked and I smiled.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qsSxEHjAG
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“You’re such a clown,” he chuckled as he caught my smile.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwfBRH1Kk4
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“I'm sorry. It’s just…I’ve been cheated,” I explained “Twice,” I narrowed my eyes as the thought.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuzWO2ztq0
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“Yeah, I understand,” He nodded and got up.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQd3kmEiuB
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“We’re going at “Johnny’s” tonight,” I began as I walked to the door “Come if you want, though it will be weird, since I’ll be with Max and Cleo,” I winced.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxDyUD3phC
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“I’ll see how it will go tonight and probably text Max in the honor of the secrecy,” he smiled.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JLkvNhA1I
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“Okay,” I smiled and put my hand on the handle.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFUJZoXG2U
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“Hey,” he stopped me and I turned around to look at him. He put his palm against my cheek and kissed my lips; my heart rate increasing. He pulled away and smiled. I had no idea what we were from now on.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxKMzQO8Ra
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He did, made it at “Johnny’s” that night. I was leaning against the wall with my cold beer in my hand and Damien was next to me, eyeing me and teasing me. But then again, he was always teasing me.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKQ5PSeBS7
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However, I noticed Cleo giving us some weird looks but I hoped it was my imagination combined with the alcohol. Still, the thought that she looked at me weird didn’t help my courage enough. I was sure she wouldn’t approve.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXIT1t75sy
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I remember two years ago, when we were all at a party and Damien was teasing me like usual and someone asked if I was his girlfriend.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYiuDq2WBt
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“No,” Cleo had exclaimed. I could still remember her tone. Like she was saying “Her? No way!.” I was hurt so badly that night that I decided that it was over. No matter what feelings I had for Damien, I should get over them and move on.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJNiZGP12n
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But what about now? Now that he liked me too? What she would say now? What if she stopped talking to me? I know her my whole life. She’s like my sister. I guess I wasn’t good enough for her big brother. I didn’t know what else to think.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93tyG36nQa
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For now I would keep this a secret and hoped for the best moment to tell her. But tell her what? That I’m seeing her brother? I would wait and see where things with Damien will go first and then try and find the right time to tell Cleo. And Max.491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNrUl3nbqI
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Title Credit:491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rZZG6PaOE
Gravity by The Perfect Circle491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28LxoI2iR7
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This is one of my favorites, when they finally get to be together a bit mor than usual...what do you think??491Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlC1vX70hxM
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Merry Christmas I wish to you all and I hope you'll have a great time! :)
