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Writer Alef Magnus
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
8257 Reads

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XI. Lightning
Alef Magnus
Comments ( 5 )
Frances - Bam. Genius. The woman drowning scene and it being her true identity was astounding. You are rocking this mother.
4 years agoreply

Alef Magnus - Writing the dissociation into imagery was fun and satisfying. This part has a strong implication on the next chapters that would include a big reveal about Glory. You can look back at this again and the many times it was hinted in other chapters. And you'll know what it is when you read it, I believe.

And thank you!!! :D
4 years agoreply

jamber86 - At first, I thought that perhaps you dropped the electro-shock bombshell too soon, but then you followed it with this chapter. This is the best chapter I've read in this story thus far. The imagery in the 'dream-sequence' is great but more than anything I love the transition back to reality. It's so smooth and subtle. I know you've taken a break on this story, but I hope you come back to it.
4 years agoreply

Alef Magnus - This is one of those parts that I'm going to really add more imagery on as it is the shortest chapter (but I personally liked not having too much words for this because that would dilute the dream sequence) And thank you so much! I try to visualize the stories how I would watch it if it were a movie. This is great input and I would try to keep the transitions as smooth as this one. I'm currently done with my second script work so I'll have more time for this! I'll be reading yours when I get the time! :)
4 years agoreply

Nicole Armas - Great work man! I loved the emotional intensity that played out when Glory confronted Lucian and just how dark and twisted the world of the story is turning out to be. The pacing is good and you reveal just enough information to keep a reader interested. I hope to see more!
4 years agoreply