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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnvudU54O7
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWCJZz6xEa
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAG0iAmFxW
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkm29lKrWp8
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JhvMotvpA
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGL378ARsrM
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPAzaQg9Oj
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4ImSM1zi1
壓力似乎一併消散。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffNxJT2WnS
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto0L30rG0f
茶盡。我再續杯。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s2M1SUsUr
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gSzTEFg8T
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mdZwYDbF2
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgmLZSc26g
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ681Wl3d8dJ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNtp3Z3rWV
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sA3CNfgaf
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPK2kRIYSI
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPirkd7EiD
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgDM5l1g1X
夢醒一場空。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJYqirKLdo
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdI2RJWfyB
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAbRypApeJ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBMHDpOd4u
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvOEqKWHn0
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoKvLso9sB
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1StaNPvI7
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdajiyjI6K
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBDHcAmLbS
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPA3PSdVLN
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaS0xrB0ja9
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgVUmfUuWf
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprhJOpGY4y
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXrJGcTMuG
我沾沾自喜。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdwTvVp8VV
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNPafdsIg6
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKb2LT3VzhH
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVADgUUSB3O
但我沒有向同學們坦白。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEX8KvrRdHz
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FuDf7e114
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY0iX1bct6
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MYHcRqyoG
努力，努力，努力。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz3utudqIw
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OOrguj64Y
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycQrdbB0rc
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Qcl70P4Ti
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmtuqDB86U
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2hN2W6HMf
以為。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsG2xWUi6VE
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3QvKkzw5x
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LipklwEZw
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMxPqAOZjr
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3B59hpZJb
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdovi2GceRc
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oLDdglLlk
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEygrcY9Sa
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡou4eMf9alM
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAS7JxjKuHu
我的作品感動了我。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHsYJNBa5I
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVR6NOKjHN4
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6x9JictAA
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaAAjAhPrG
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLehoRIYgl
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4TD8LPM23
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0ekYz8rsL
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9G0epf1gJC
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseuoMZ5o1x
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfTeqFyaMt
熱茶又涼了。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxVcJT3LEZ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhkxau0GNN
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalCJFKfLki
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AfzuCl71O
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYGSbvkvlN
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv47Lm0eKr
我的作品只感動了我。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4e839puKG
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylnnRy0PzF
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTCrAG3fb9
