二十年前——345Please respect copyright.PENANA1iUrpHad0T
345Please respect copyright.PENANAZeeCHAOv4L
小荷是個人見人愛的六歲小女孩,胖胖白白的臉配上一雙水靈大眼。她每天穿著荷媽親手做的一雙由彩色布碎拼湊而成的小鞋子到處玩耍,有時會跟同村的孩子們跑上山頭採菇,有時會為獨居老人送上新鮮採摘的漂亮花朵,有時會在湖邊遊蕩。345Please respect copyright.PENANAzpEN8fytFx
345Please respect copyright.PENANAes4t2bZigO
荷媽曾多次提醒她切勿走近湖邊,但小荷偏偏喜歡看蓮花,說蓮花是仙女的化身。荷媽忙著預備晚餐,不甚耐煩地反譏小荷幼稚。小荷不堪被譏諷,激動嚷著會帶蓮花仙女回家,然後頭也不回衝出家門。345Please respect copyright.PENANAARczXqGOuK
345Please respect copyright.PENANA3Il323XKGK
傍晚,晚餐備好了,小荷還沒有回家。荷媽心緒不寧,深怕小荷遇上意外。她挑燈外出,急步走往湖邊。345Please respect copyright.PENANA9Nqgumq76K
345Please respect copyright.PENANAptgWMzKgo0
小荷不在。345Please respect copyright.PENANArvs4OddT5e
345Please respect copyright.PENANAyVVhhNwWwG
荷媽的心頭涼了大截,連忙前去村長家求助。沒多久,大伙兒在湖邊叢林間搜索。345Please respect copyright.PENANAdb7Hsk8sNw
345Please respect copyright.PENANAXBRjRPwgW4
無發現。345Please respect copyright.PENANAAodoLdAnXd
345Please respect copyright.PENANAZnJ75LBBgA
村長打算重新部署搜索行動之際,有人指著湖中央的一朵蓮花大叫:「看!湖中那朵蓮花上有一隻鞋!」345Please respect copyright.PENANAd9WNXBztch
345Please respect copyright.PENANA710aoQOyhU
大伙兒定睛細看,卻因光線不足而未能確定那是否一隻鞋。荷媽救女心切,不理眾人勸阻跳入湖中游向那朵蓮花。游著、游著,她的身影突然消失了。345Please respect copyright.PENANAEzsqBEbuhp
345Please respect copyright.PENANAcjfeW1k5wK
為免有更多人命犧牲,村民只得待天亮才落水找荷媽。不出所料,荷媽的腳踝被水草纏住,溺斃湖底。村民認得蓮花上的鞋子確是屬於小荷,但找遍湖底亦找不到她的身影。唯有繼續在林間搜索。無果。個多月後,眾人認為找到小荷的機會渺茫,於是停止搜索。345Please respect copyright.PENANAAauOz2y6ar
345Please respect copyright.PENANAteHz8o2Q96
村裡開始流傳蓮花仙女帶走小荷的傳聞……345Please respect copyright.PENANAdOnjMGdwFf
345Please respect copyright.PENANA2XmmwRqXD7
「那是在你出生前發生的事情?」阿夏一邊聽得著迷,一邊望著車窗外的油油綠草地,驚嘆著這寧靜山村背後竟有這種可怕事。345Please respect copyright.PENANAhrmWbeO3s2
345Please respect copyright.PENANAAE7fP0yebL
「不。當年我十歲,和小荷挺熟絡。」芙兒沒心情欣賞風景,逕自倚著椅背,微微仰首凝視車廂天花那色調偏冷的米光燈。345Please respect copyright.PENANAgTDOKx743J
345Please respect copyright.PENANADLlriphdq7
「小荷失蹤一事是你當警察的原因嗎?」阿夏與芙兒作伴數年,不難看出芙兒心事重重,尤其今趟「回鄉之旅」是離鄉別井十多年的芙兒主動提出,可見其別具意義。345Please respect copyright.PENANA537LgVea0K
345Please respect copyright.PENANA7Jzdbk5jSb
「嗯……一部份吧。不能說是完全因為她,也不能說是與這事情毫無關係。」芙兒苦笑,些許後悔無故主動提及這大煞風景的陳年往事。回鄉目的不是向各位鄉親苦老宣佈自己與阿夏的婚訊和設喜宴嗎?不是要歡天喜地、眉開眼笑嗎?345Please respect copyright.PENANAmQZVCxhJsB
345Please respect copyright.PENANAUcsEYp9pWq
「不管如何……」阿夏是個聰明人,明明對案件內容細節有興趣,但也知道要適可宜止。他輕拍芙兒的手背,安慰道:「事情已然過去,多想無益。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAcWylutUDvp
345Please respect copyright.PENANAUdxnmj56qv
「是的。過去了。」芙兒吁一口氣,似是釋懷,奈何揪心的感覺難以單憑幾句安慰說話連根拔起。345Please respect copyright.PENANAChCvnImHsm
345Please respect copyright.PENANAaB85YdN6O1
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?345Please respect copyright.PENANA375q0H0dEs
345Please respect copyright.PENANAFneW6jSOWH
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。345Please respect copyright.PENANAotSyoQvebA
345Please respect copyright.PENANAKf00oA0qjD
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAXIpBdHvQVI
345Please respect copyright.PENANAS8eOStJih2
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。345Please respect copyright.PENANAy8FSOhnSzD
345Please respect copyright.PENANAkXNjhrIxY1
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。時間彷彿隨著步伐逆行,日落月出,瞬間回到二十年前那個夜晚……345Please respect copyright.PENANAUxkFaMBafE
345Please respect copyright.PENANA4Ntntu0bH4
「我帶芙兒外出散步散心。」晚飯後,芙爸病懨懨地對妻子說。345Please respect copyright.PENANAkJxmNvyopl
345Please respect copyright.PENANA19gcj5t4z5
「嗯。」芙媽忙於照顧病兒,分身不暇。345Please respect copyright.PENANAtIXkaNhoau
345Please respect copyright.PENANAj3cuKYVMWt
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上,芙爸眉頭鎖得更深。芙兒乖乖不作聲,默默尾隨他快步走。345Please respect copyright.PENANAb9IQg6jUCl
345Please respect copyright.PENANAhWm0zNsOEr
「芙兒,你愛媽媽嗎?」345Please respect copyright.PENANAWzPxTHSKzs
345Please respect copyright.PENANAjaYeEtmXLr
「愛。」345Please respect copyright.PENANA3paGUbHlRp
345Please respect copyright.PENANA7A5zJ2Swws
「你愛爸爸嗎?」345Please respect copyright.PENANAuKUa8BJb3J
345Please respect copyright.PENANAloQy8BPXDh
「愛。」345Please respect copyright.PENANA22TMLjeVwo
345Please respect copyright.PENANAmOZAD5h9NX
「你愛哥哥嗎?」345Please respect copyright.PENANA1C3aPgYEdh
345Please respect copyright.PENANAAiaxguaDZi
芙兒心裡一寒,不自已停下腳步——她早前無意間發現爸爸向前任村長秘密查詢有關人口販子的事。難道爸爸為了替哥哥籌措醫藥費而打算賣掉她?345Please respect copyright.PENANAnFjnzKs9ux
345Please respect copyright.PENANAngilrUoWSL
「你愛我嗎?」芙兒無力反問。345Please respect copyright.PENANAHloQWaRTK7
345Please respect copyright.PENANACJ8gR8Pq2x
芙爸沒有回答,繼續低頭開步走。345Please respect copyright.PENANAcIn7kFxPaw
345Please respect copyright.PENANAUfKwJm9NfF
芙兒想要跑回家去,雙腳卻不由自主隨著爸爸走,縱然明知那是不歸路。345Please respect copyright.PENANA8cjgZkAckE
345Please respect copyright.PENANAXpqGlQsjZr
途經蓮花池,巧遇小荷。芙爸倏忽衝前打昏小荷。芙兒明白爸爸的意圖,連忙拉住他。345Please respect copyright.PENANAYEQkyKDWkG
345Please respect copyright.PENANADYEf1Wl1Ic
「小荷是無辜的!」345Please respect copyright.PENANARRqRlPxPRC
345Please respect copyright.PENANABTrB4OAFbJ
「但我捨不得你啊!」345Please respect copyright.PENANAO8k4fgGZk1
345Please respect copyright.PENANAIsvbnIKYlA
芙兒不期然鬆開了手——她聽得出話裡的割捨與堅決。爸爸向來善良老實,日子艱難亦不會做鼠竊狗偷的勾當。奈何今次關乎兒子的生命安危和女兒的命運!他寧可割捨良知,亦要保住家人。345Please respect copyright.PENANAczlWMekL6n
345Please respect copyright.PENANAFYFvKSxVLf
芙兒理解了、妥協了,芙爸眼神反倒更為悲憤不安。他脫下小荷的一隻鞋,使勁拋向蓮花池。鞋子剛好不偏不倚落在池中央的一朵大蓮花上。345Please respect copyright.PENANAMNAwoHXeTB
345Please respect copyright.PENANAFRuEjvW6iM
父女兩人不約而同望向那朵大蓮花。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。345Please respect copyright.PENANAnbpRXsv3mL
345Please respect copyright.PENANAuPcC3EUIUB
小黑點,人生裡的大污點。345Please respect copyright.PENANAIvLRrCuOwc
345Please respect copyright.PENANA1EySvKjA7K
來到約定的地方。人口販子沒有芙兒想像中的鼠頭獐目。他相貌平凡,打扮平凡,舉止平凡,有如田裡的一顆穀粒,獨一無二卻平凡普通。345Please respect copyright.PENANA48sqCEzLjJ
345Please respect copyright.PENANAVdo1pAvq1f
二人無聲的奉上小荷,默默的收下金錢,不能見光的交易在無光的樹林中順利完成。345Please respect copyright.PENANASQ7aS9Q1fN
345Please respect copyright.PENANA5Dqzgv2ur7
芙兒自此在這夜池邊中無限輪迴。345Please respect copyright.PENANASv5jSpm9xp
345Please respect copyright.PENANAvx0TxwER3r
晝如夜,夜是夜。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,異裝同臉。池中有蓮,家中有蓮,路中有蓮,蓮上有鞋。345Please respect copyright.PENANAKK8txmteu2
345Please respect copyright.PENANAFK0CtilEZv
瘋了。芙兒的世界瘋了。345Please respect copyright.PENANAUGwPXae0g6
345Please respect copyright.PENANA61m7S8TnJ9
需要救贖。無人能救。只得自救。345Please respect copyright.PENANA993lgzrwMQ
345Please respect copyright.PENANADtJtwHpdaX
救哥哥,犧牲小荷。救自己,犧牲誰?345Please respect copyright.PENANAPE8rAfIxAF
345Please respect copyright.PENANAIHGD3mafG7
「記住,賣掉小荷的人是我,不是你。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAbM89v8e8Fh
345Please respect copyright.PENANAJRsLVBXRc7
「我沒有阻止你。」345Please respect copyright.PENANA4ea64ioZTs
345Please respect copyright.PENANAAvDeueVBTf
「阻止得了麼?」345Please respect copyright.PENANAoSFlqxPSQ1
345Please respect copyright.PENANAOSqFODxI0d
「至少,我該要嘗試。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAbNxLW78sFS
345Please respect copyright.PENANAbu4SWcoPuD
「嘗試有用麼?」345Please respect copyright.PENANARMJnJWYQEC
345Please respect copyright.PENANA6mdgMXCF8Y
芙兒如夢初醒——芙爸企圖獨自扛起一切責任,救贖芙兒。她不自控笑著流淚,內心得到救贖的同時又跌落另一深淵——自己得救,爸爸犧牲。345Please respect copyright.PENANAuoQNEvRIy1
345Please respect copyright.PENANAzebzkew4hN
真的得到了救贖嗎?不肯定。345Please respect copyright.PENANA79U6EcCHIz
345Please respect copyright.PENANAd1ze8Fnw59
她離鄉到城市尋找工作,輾轉當上警察。對失蹤案尤感興趣。找人,找救贖。找到人,找不到救贖。345Please respect copyright.PENANAVdMz7LIN0u
345Please respect copyright.PENANARW4D6cRGyp
收到來自家鄉的信,提及哥哥病逝。她丟掉信件,假裝未曾收到。根本沒意義,根本誰也沒能得救,無論犧牲多大。345Please respect copyright.PENANA4X4Vv792zE
345Please respect copyright.PENANATx7CQrLJGw
芙媽來了,問芙兒為何不出席哥哥的喪禮。她說不知道哥哥逝世一事。芙媽低頭掩面大笑,笑了很久,然後哭了很久。「你爸說你不會為此回來,我說你不是狠心的人。原來我們都錯了——你根本不知情。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAGjuF5s0RN8
345Please respect copyright.PENANApdQiZiavli
有甚麼值得笑或哭?芙兒不明白。或許媽媽也不明白,純粹為笑而笑、為哭而哭,無謂卻有為。至少她的情緒得以紓緩,面容不再繃緊。345Please respect copyright.PENANAT6tvPATGMi
345Please respect copyright.PENANAVgIIHXofWh
數年後,芙媽死了。芙兒同樣沒有出席喪禮。她向上司請假數天,躲在家裡,足不出戶。不斷憶起媽媽當日又哭又笑的癲狂模樣。真羨慕。沒有隱藏,沒有秘密。345Please respect copyright.PENANAbxsWEoIW4v
345Please respect copyright.PENANAJgfKujIcVO
假期完結後,芙兒重投工作。警局來了一個新丁,名叫阿夏,比芙兒年輕數載。他長有一張孩子臉,胖胖白白,水靈大眼,像小荷。芙兒的目光離不開阿夏,主動接近他、勾搭他。二人由相識至同睡一床,僅是三天內的事。345Please respect copyright.PENANAFYeMgNoh6a
345Please respect copyright.PENANAecfDKRiYnc
阿夏不解。345Please respect copyright.PENANA08BhPgoHZM
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「你不似是水性楊花的女人。」345Please respect copyright.PENANA55DV6x6z1D
345Please respect copyright.PENANAOhoYfE1wAH
「你不似是諸事八卦的男人。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAivh5chJNGG
345Please respect copyright.PENANAxQsb2Diumo
阿夏開始追求芙兒。芙兒不接受,卻偶爾與他同睡。為何不愛他卻會與他睡?是發洩,是鬱悶,或是對往事的情感投射?芙兒解釋不了,亦不想解釋——找到解釋之時,另一個問題就會隨即出現。345Please respect copyright.PENANApBXIHrhCxo
345Please respect copyright.PENANAiq5M9vr5uw
繼續同睡,繼續被追求,繼續找人找救贖。生活不過如此,平平凡凡,無無謂謂。345Please respect copyright.PENANAkQUS92nfiL
345Please respect copyright.PENANAW1WfZ6WKma
數年後的某天,芙兒收到來自兒時鄰居的一通電話。對方說芙爸病重,行將就木,希望她回鄉探望。345Please respect copyright.PENANATKFKN3Hwdo
345Please respect copyright.PENANAW3JxhbElBN
「是他希望我回去,或是大家希望我回去探望他?」345Please respect copyright.PENANAhWhRWcj0B3
345Please respect copyright.PENANAxg570WuKvb
「他堅持不要通知你,但大家還是決定要告訴你。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAIbO1IK9Zxj
345Please respect copyright.PENANAGkhSdshbb1
「我明白了。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAzBynYAovKL
345Please respect copyright.PENANAgC8Pj4KW7u
當晚,芙兒跟阿夏說要盡快回鄉宣佈婚訊、設喜宴。345Please respect copyright.PENANAOi38BhnTEV
345Please respect copyright.PENANA4ryOzqDkjj
「你跟誰結婚?」阿夏詫異。345Please respect copyright.PENANAOQ5DKrHSvn
345Please respect copyright.PENANAfggdA4AbfI
「你。」芙兒明白阿夏的不明白。345Please respect copyright.PENANAZfmXC8WtHW
345Please respect copyright.PENANAvGGhiQUF8s
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?345Please respect copyright.PENANA03AjLwsNYX
345Please respect copyright.PENANAwP8HBxJLZ5
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。345Please respect copyright.PENANAAwWxSe1Gab
345Please respect copyright.PENANA4dxGUQxfUw
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAHfySJamrpk
345Please respect copyright.PENANAVkRdCDpg6q
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。345Please respect copyright.PENANAevGzeirYe8
345Please respect copyright.PENANAvlOOn0tpSM
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。踱踱踱,時間有可能隨著步伐逆轉,帶她回到二十年前的那個晚上嗎?若明知結果,她還是會不阻止爸爸賣掉小荷嗎?345Please respect copyright.PENANAy9payw33cf
345Please respect copyright.PENANAvxaGvhHDhC
老家陋宅裡,趁著阿夏上廁所的空檔,芙兒湊近芙爸耳邊直接問:「若明知結果,你還是會賣掉小荷嗎?」345Please respect copyright.PENANARkMVdmwNbm
345Please respect copyright.PENANAO0GllH2Z0p
「會。」氣若柔絲的芙爸斬釘截鐵:「因為我是當爸的。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAJZnFYW1ldN
345Please respect copyright.PENANAEJC4A3NsIK
「若沒有遇上小荷,你會賣掉我嗎?」345Please respect copyright.PENANA2QNAzw32TK
345Please respect copyright.PENANAH6qM8djGSf
「會。因為你們兄妹倆都會活著。活著才會有希望。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAN15BlcaURj
345Please respect copyright.PENANAzJq0C66UCi
芙兒大受刺激,轉身奪門而出。345Please respect copyright.PENANAaNxyUQazYa
345Please respect copyright.PENANAtlFxQVSycb
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上行人疏落,卻異裝同臉,小荷的臉。路中倏忽生出白蓮朵朵,蓮上皆有小彩鞋一隻。芙兒知道自己瘋了,眼前盡是幻覺。理智脫軌,她不再恐懼,像個十歲的少女那樣跳脫輕盈,一步踏一蓮,來到池邊。345Please respect copyright.PENANAZUt7rk1dnD
345Please respect copyright.PENANAodoEw1dVdq
池邊有人,像小荷,像芙爸,像人口販子,像阿夏。她握著一隻彩色小鞋,木無表情直盯池中那朵大蓮花。芙兒走近女子,女子報以微笑,遞上手中小鞋。345Please respect copyright.PENANALbHPsHFRbh
345Please respect copyright.PENANATA3hXrooxL
芙兒接過它,模仿爸爸當晚的姿勢,以完美的拋物線弧度拋出小鞋。小鞋不偏不倚剛好落在池中央的蓮花上,有如二十年前的那夜。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。345Please respect copyright.PENANAUp8BPJgxvC
345Please respect copyright.PENANAzhl9UbhrPx
女人哈哈大笑起來,笑聲豁然開朗。芙兒腳下的白蓮和小鞋驀地消失隱去,唯獨女子依然完好站在面前。笑過以後,女子轉身離開,身影沒入林間不復見。345Please respect copyright.PENANAZLoW204BOV
345Please respect copyright.PENANAacA7Z15z06
芙兒惘然——她不肯定對方是幻覺或是確切存在的真人。345Please respect copyright.PENANAbxzLDRQ99v
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數日後,芙爸與世長辭。345Please respect copyright.PENANAnMn7yRiqPx
345Please respect copyright.PENANACmMTRQJHfk
「既然不需要沖喜,你還會跟我結婚嗎?」345Please respect copyright.PENANAphND2FZ8m0
345Please respect copyright.PENANAMnpXrgTVqw
「你想跟我結婚嗎?」345Please respect copyright.PENANARbIKSye0Gt
345Please respect copyright.PENANAgsqPvsBG3U
「想。我愛你。」345Please respect copyright.PENANA4oJ9kSK8KY
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「那就繼續吧。」345Please respect copyright.PENANAzrVMQC0RDk
345Please respect copyright.PENANAgbdWirO36k
喜慶夜,大排筵席。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,新郎是小荷,老爺是小荷,奶奶是小荷,滿堂皆是小荷。芙兒帶醉喜極而泣,感激小荷前來祝福她。345Please respect copyright.PENANA8gWekv4AQE
345Please respect copyright.PENANAliG9rjBbOd
宴後,賓客散去。醉得幾近失去意識的芙兒被攙扶到新房去。滾燙的臉龐忽爾涼涼的。她知道有人為她用濕毛巾抹臉抹汗。345Please respect copyright.PENANArr8hSixXr5
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「謝謝你……小荷……」345Please respect copyright.PENANAOsVNCBmk1c
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「不用客氣……」345Please respect copyright.PENANAIjb9DoMK0v
345Please respect copyright.PENANAX0qvZJVLcN
說著說著,阿夏哭了。晶瑩淚水沿著胖白的臉頰下滑,水靈大眼楚楚可憐。像小荷。