
一九九二年,七月十三日,正午十二時正。450Please respect copyright.PENANAWn3VPX6Zy4
450Please respect copyright.PENANAQmkIV8KR6t
媽媽回娘家照顧患病婆婆,爸爸上午上班,家裡只有八歲的我。我沒有遵從爸爸叮囑先完成功課,反倒守在電視旁邊全神貫注盯著螢幕上的卡通美少女。美少女收到未來警官電話,與對方一起隔世查案,救下多條生命。美少女又漂亮又聰明又勇敢,如果我有她半點厲害,那可不得了!450Please respect copyright.PENANAF5NZ5VYDwh
450Please respect copyright.PENANAmZThsFdbiz
叮——叮——電話響起。450Please respect copyright.PENANAGp2RxVF7uN
450Please respect copyright.PENANAHtZq9kxk5M
我目光依然停在美少女身上,斜身踏著小碎步前往接聽電話:「喂!誰呀?」450Please respect copyright.PENANAsv9QrYCuYE
450Please respect copyright.PENANAACLKL4AqYe
「我是來自未來的你。」電話另端是一道成熟女聲。450Please respect copyright.PENANAryz3hUP0QB
450Please respect copyright.PENANAxv1JDUoYtS
「未來的我?你當了警官嗎?」我驚訝又興奮,沒想到會有幸收到未來來電,翌日可以向同學炫耀一番:「要找我一起查案嗎?」450Please respect copyright.PENANAUg49O6H1g7
450Please respect copyright.PENANAhgsEzWJWmx
「對!但我要先給你一個簡單小測試,看看你是否適合。」成熟女聲用上卡通未來警官口吻,講出那句交付任務前的經典對白:「比對時間!」450Please respect copyright.PENANAxucZ1d5MZd
450Please respect copyright.PENANAb77Wgsl3Z6
「正午十二時零二分!」我瞄瞄掛牆鐘,模仿卡通片美少女口吻確認時間。450Please respect copyright.PENANAkIR3lAXkcU
450Please respect copyright.PENANAHzEPM9xSkl
「好!待會兒,爸爸下班回來後,你要嚷著到火車站旁邊的公園去。你必須趕在三時二十七分前到達公園遊樂場電話亭,屆時我會再次致電予你。」成熟女聲聽來溫柔堅毅,想必是個精明幹探。450Please respect copyright.PENANAN8kjNZfkix
450Please respect copyright.PENANAwHh1JG1oG0
「犯人在那兒出現?」我的小腦袋已然盡入查案模式,幻想機智勇敢的自己如何拘捕窮凶極惡的歹徒。「不如我現在馬上前去!」450Please respect copyright.PENANAt9zjn9oNyY
450Please respect copyright.PENANAYWUqxzYIt0
「你知道如何前往?」成熟女聲十分了解我,知道我認不得路。450Please respect copyright.PENANA2o3MZp7r1N
450Please respect copyright.PENANAvktgZy6Ds0
「不知道……」我弱小心靈受到一次巨大衝擊。450Please respect copyright.PENANAUra9CTyKnE
450Please respect copyright.PENANACtdyBMWfiK
「所以你要跟著爸爸去。而且以父女姿態出現,歹徒才不易察覺。」成熟女聲解說得頭頭是道。450Please respect copyright.PENANAnOU2WAZyYG
450Please respect copyright.PENANAfuipWMrS6U
「很細心!很厲害!果然是當警官的材料!」我暗暗稱讚自己。450Please respect copyright.PENANApH1ltGm88R
450Please respect copyright.PENANACE1U3l4dej
「如果你沒有其他疑問,我現在就要掛線。」成熟女聲語速突然略快,似乎要處理甚麼突發事件。450Please respect copyright.PENANAxVJPeyrfdC
450Please respect copyright.PENANAl4O95oegut
「警官,我沒有疑問。請你放心。」我不期然立正,模仿卡通美少女那樣行禮致敬。450Please respect copyright.PENANAYc272gzifh
二零二四年,七月十三日,正午十二時零五分。450Please respect copyright.PENANA0MtLeQfAAp
450Please respect copyright.PENANA9Sdk3IYUqn
四十歲的我掛線了,眼角不由得流下一滴淚——原來曾經的自己是那麼討人歡喜。猶豫與後悔在心中萌生。真的要以此殘忍方式對待八歲的我嗎?450Please respect copyright.PENANApcshPw6chH
450Please respect copyright.PENANAfS7mAdYBsx
爸爸當年相約友人在公園遊樂場電話亭旁邊碰面,結果遭遇不測。媽媽認屍時沒有帶上我,只吩咐我在家中聽從婆婆吩咐。整個下午,婆婆在廚房忙著,一邊預備晚餐,一邊喃喃自語:「我老早要你不要下嫁這傢伙!看他面無半両肉,該不會有甚麼好福氣!他最大的福氣就是娶了你!他這薄命小子……」450Please respect copyright.PENANAMRUs7ugVUK
450Please respect copyright.PENANA2Keld8jEQ9
我頭腦不笨,馬上明白婆婆意指何事。婆婆疼愛媽媽,卻瞧不起爸爸,向來對他不太友善。如今爸爸離世,家中頓失經濟支拄,媽媽唯有母兼父職,過份勞累致使身體狀況急速變壞。愛女心切的婆婆因而無法繼續壓抑對爸爸的不滿,經常在眾人面前奚落他。媽媽為此與婆婆徹底鬧翻,至死不相往來。我知道媽媽是明白婆婆苦心。每次有不知袖裡的人提及婆婆時,媽媽面上總會泛起一抹似有還無的愧疚。不過在爸爸與婆婆兩者之間,媽媽最終選擇了爸爸。450Please respect copyright.PENANAagY0ZLKQwK
450Please respect copyright.PENANAWKhYCN8tsa
我十八歲生日那天,媽媽與我在家慶祝。吹蠟燭前許願時,我故意開口講出願望:「我希望媽媽能夠得到愛情和幸福。」450Please respect copyright.PENANAApl8GFkWAq
450Please respect copyright.PENANA4EZKKSp9lp
媽媽苦笑:「不擔心媽媽只顧拍拖耍樂,無暇照顧你嗎?」450Please respect copyright.PENANAV4lNBmIl6N
450Please respect copyright.PENANAo0iydCGJOt
「我長大了,能夠照顧自己。」我堅定點頭,順道勸說媽媽接受男同事追求:「大強哥似乎對你很不錯呢!」450Please respect copyright.PENANA6VgL34hsK5
450Please respect copyright.PENANACvNXzmnWfg
「傻瓜!媽媽自有分寸!」媽媽笑得開懷,緊皺多年的眉頭終於鬆開。450Please respect copyright.PENANA9nKMvbN11U
450Please respect copyright.PENANAbDB80eGrrL
以為媽媽終能解開心結,重過新生。誰料翌日發現被窩中的她早已氣絕。450Please respect copyright.PENANAmll9WOoLou
靈堂上,連日幫忙籌備喪禮的大強哥疲態盡現。素來剛強硬朗的他淚眼通紅,偏偏只能以朋友身份坐在靈堂一隅。反倒我表現冷靜——可能我的情感在發現屍體當刻已然花光耗盡。450Please respect copyright.PENANAUIln1g2ZG5
450Please respect copyright.PENANA1b7oejmOip
喪禮結束後,我的生活半回正軌。白天,我勤於學業。夜晚,我到大強哥工作的酒吧當拳手。450Please respect copyright.PENANA9FSh6aT9zC
450Please respect copyright.PENANAykXCetKvae
大強哥關心勸我:「不要繼續在這些品流複雜的地方打滾,正正經經當別的行業不是更好嗎?」450Please respect copyright.PENANAjRFroMyGQi
450Please respect copyright.PENANAWRbERxWNGC
「你認識我媽時不也是正正經經當文職,為何突然到酒吧工作?」我反唇相譏。450Please respect copyright.PENANA9TN2hNrnFg
450Please respect copyright.PENANAJvqZdtCfsY
「我是成人,你是孩子,怎能相提並論?」大強哥強詞奪理,避而不談。450Please respect copyright.PENANAOl4ihAE9dH
450Please respect copyright.PENANAs8ZokJViun
「我們不也是個人。」我笑。除了笑,我想不到其他更能夠表達苦的表情:「我們都回不了頭,只能選擇原地踏步抑或向前邁進。」450Please respect copyright.PENANA4jkDtiY78L
450Please respect copyright.PENANAqL1rnSXnXi
說罷,我再次混入紅男綠女當中賣酒,懶理留在吧枱後的大強哥。450Please respect copyright.PENANAed78kjla40
450Please respect copyright.PENANApTy8Js5TaL
這夜的我笑得豪邁、玩得奔放。賣了酒,又賣了自己——翌日早上,我在陌生男子身邊醒來。對方睡眼惺忪,隨手塞了幾張百元大鈔給我,命我先行離開。我不覺屈辱羞憤,亦沒有開心釋懷。純純粹粹的空白。450Please respect copyright.PENANAAYF0aUS8c4
450Please respect copyright.PENANAetFEvDhig8
離開酒店,重見天日,彷如隔世。人流如鯽,營營役役。身世各異,命運分岔,殊途同歸,難逃苦痛。爸爸、媽媽、婆婆、大強哥、我,無論選擇原地踏步抑或向前邁進,終究無分別。450Please respect copyright.PENANAAsAVaGB616
450Please respect copyright.PENANA6dYrfeZIPY
甘心嗎?不甘心。我比他們更努力、更堅強地活下去,然後同樣痛苦。對於這樣的結果,我完全接受不來。450Please respect copyright.PENANAt9ES1JhI5w
450Please respect copyright.PENANACPoBvnwvnL
我誓要活得更好!450Please respect copyright.PENANAUGtd5djd1j
辭職,專心學業,終以優異成績一級榮譽畢業,投身科學研究。工作十年,單身十年。新入職同事對我一見鍾情,熱烈追求我。我不愛他卻接受了他,與其結婚生子。生活美滿,羨煞旁人。450Please respect copyright.PENANA7YLFPLwX5q
450Please respect copyright.PENANARR0hnIiolh
書枱前的我有意無意瞄了瞄正在跟孩子嬉鬧玩耍的丈夫,開始明白媽媽為何不接受大強哥。不愛就是不愛,勉強不來,更何況心裡早已有人。是誰?我不肯定。爸爸?媽媽?婆婆?大強哥?也許是,也許不是,我說不清楚。450Please respect copyright.PENANAlTAhgK43XC
450Please respect copyright.PENANAyNF9Exj1Wj
直至某天公司老闆宣佈要研發時光機器。我如遭五雷轟頂,心底那個被壓抑多年的無底黑洞彷彿被重新敞開。我不假思索,毛遂自薦,加入研發小組,廢寢忘食,埋首工作。丈夫不理解,卻甘願身兼母職,代我照顧孩子。我感動,可恨無法放下執念。我討厭自己,不明白自己為何不珍惜身邊愛我的丈夫和孩子。動搖了,想要退出計劃。惟想及無論有沒有自己的參與,計劃依然會進行如儀,時光機總有面世的一天,屆時過去將會被使用時光機的人改變。若然如此,何解我要放棄成為使用時光機的人?為何我寧願被改變,而不是我主動改變一切?我狠心無視丈夫苦苦哀勸,再次埋首工作。450Please respect copyright.PENANA5ExPpWimKf
450Please respect copyright.PENANAEcwdCs3JKc
時光機雛型終於面世。與我預想不同,它沒有炫目宏偉的外觀,僅是一部貌似舊式電話的機器。小組首長解說時空架構複雜,為免發生難以預測的大規模連鎖效應與災禍,現在先小試牛刀,僅以電話通訊形式連繫過去。公司廣徵志願者參與計劃。應徵人士成千上萬,最後只選出百人參與實驗。我在實驗者名單中看見大強哥的名字。450Please respect copyright.PENANAF6cYrHLEG8
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私下約見聚舊。450Please respect copyright.PENANAelM6ROm4Tm
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「你依然單身?」我仔細打量多年不沒見的大強哥。450Please respect copyright.PENANAjCjsT4SBif
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「是。」他苦笑。450Please respect copyright.PENANAvvNtJg1ZW4
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「因為我媽?」我內心揪痛。450Please respect copyright.PENANAlqIavmEYv1
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「不肯定。可能是,也可能僅是習慣使然。」他聳聳肩。450Please respect copyright.PENANAhp4EKc2cVA
450Please respect copyright.PENANAtqJ3pDaZ6G
「我不相信。」我開始按壓不住情緒,略顯激動。450Please respect copyright.PENANAPoz6qvRGyA
450Please respect copyright.PENANAmfucFIuPF2
「我理解你的不相信,因為你比我更執著。」他的目光充滿憐憫,令我不期然歪面避過。450Please respect copyright.PENANAKlup9Hh9bH
450Please respect copyright.PENANACbVLLw741r
「若然你不執著此事,你會在實驗當日致電予誰?會講甚麼內容?」執念使然,我查根究底,望能逼迫大強哥坦承執著。450Please respect copyright.PENANAioz5BfhMJr
450Please respect copyright.PENANA9S7wA7yZmj
「我會致電你爸,更改約見地點……」大強哥倏忽掩面痛哭:「其實我……就是約你爸到公園見面……的人,但我當日……遲到……」450Please respect copyright.PENANAQZGztCP7M9
450Please respect copyright.PENANABCve6gIvLK
我呆住。450Please respect copyright.PENANAoZP5NIkmNS
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「當年我和你媽素未謀面……多年後因工作認識……互有好感,想要深入了解時,才發現……」大強哥哭得像個孩子。我實在不知如何面對,或恨或放下?不,創傷過重,一切經已不由自主,輪不得我說執著或釋懷。450Please respect copyright.PENANAiiMyeZv807
450Please respect copyright.PENANAf9eLsR4LiV
那夜,我回家告訴丈夫自己未曾愛他。丈夫說早已察覺,只望我不要說穿,好讓他可以裝傻一輩子。我不明所以,他說也許是緣是命。我笑身為科研人員的他竟然信緣信命,他只道人生茫茫,總得要找到信念,哪管可靠不可靠。450Please respect copyright.PENANAOzqRPUwWUk
450Please respect copyright.PENANA9j2Bbl5FqG
翌日,丈夫繼續裝傻,我繼續在工作中尋找信念。450Please respect copyright.PENANATP4x8Pnt2R
首十一個志願者皆成功聯繫過去的人,或哄或騙令對方在某燈柱上刻畫記號,或是在海濱石壆裂縫插入指定物件,成功驗證時光機理論確實可行。450Please respect copyright.PENANA1Ko7ozUrte
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大強哥是第十二個進行實驗的志願者。450Please respect copyright.PENANAPxlpr3cpaJ
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他在團隊眾人的見證下,撥通連接過去的電話。450Please respect copyright.PENANA9aB2GeuJxD
450Please respect copyright.PENANAFOkwMYJ5z4
「喂!誰呀?」電話另端是久違了的男聲,屬於我爸爸。450Please respect copyright.PENANAdgk0q98d1b
450Please respect copyright.PENANAaqtAZkJd9T
「是我呀!是大強呀!」大強哥難掩面上閃過的震撼:「想拜託你待會兒改為到月老廟後的大樹底埋下我上星期借你的銅錢劍,毋須前往公園。」450Please respect copyright.PENANAi54cGPPonR
450Please respect copyright.PENANAxFegc4FriQ
「男人老狗,別迷信!」爸爸笑聲豁然開朗,聽得我肝腸寸斷。450Please respect copyright.PENANAy9uH6VlcQa
450Please respect copyright.PENANAz8N98tbZ5r
「那很重要!聽聞可以增加女人緣!」大強哥語調輕鬆,眼眶偏偏不爭氣地發紅,惹起部份團隊人員懷疑。450Please respect copyright.PENANAdbK3aIyARP
450Please respect copyright.PENANAaVD2IiVyuH
「是嗎?那我就去吧!」爸爸是個老好人:「你呀!日後娶老婆時,切記要待她好好的,別欺負人家!」450Please respect copyright.PENANAxXKX0J0CMJ
450Please respect copyright.PENANAGSW3SzqPlR
「當然!我會把最好的一切留給喜歡的人!」大強哥的淚水奪眶而出,聲音隨即沙啞。450Please respect copyright.PENANAumgbN0CWgt
450Please respect copyright.PENANAv5VkRh5UgB
團隊人員意識到事態嚴重,連忙分頭行動,部份人衝向大強哥,部份人在電腦輸入密碼,企圖強行終止對話。450Please respect copyright.PENANAgxoO5JW9cr
450Please respect copyright.PENANAhDdzwbMQBp
大強哥匆匆趕在對話結束前補上最後一句:「再見!我的好兄弟!」450Please respect copyright.PENANAnjkHiCoVyT
450Please respect copyright.PENANAGq2Ciw1AOL
不出所料,大強哥被踢出時光機實驗計劃,並因違反協議內容而被公司控告,目前正被警方拘留問話。猶幸大強哥意志堅定,不發一言,免得我身份立馬曝光。公司高層商討後決定暫停時光機科研計劃,重新調查所有參與人士的背景。450Please respect copyright.PENANAKha3kf873J
450Please respect copyright.PENANA4o5c47fCIJ
我心慌意亂,因為目前有三大疑難必須解決:一,過去並沒有因為大強哥的干預而改變,我仍然記得爸爸死於火車出軌意外,舊報章上的死者名單亦清楚載有爸爸的名字;二,團隊人員在月老廟大樹下發現刻有大強哥名字的銅錢劍,證明爸爸生前確有按照大強哥意思前往月老廟,間接表明爸爸尚有其他前往公園的不知名動機;三,我必須趕在公司發現我與大強哥及爸爸的關係前再次行動。450Please respect copyright.PENANAcSUYZt8qpH
450Please respect copyright.PENANAKDlWUzvlE3
我輾轉反側,徹夜未眠,畢竟這是我最後一次機會——若果失敗,我必會被公司開除,永遠無法接觸時光機。我苦苦思量如何令到年僅八歲的自己有能力臨場解決爸爸前往公園的不知名動機……450Please respect copyright.PENANArnlET9VNbs
450Please respect copyright.PENANATweQXkDir8
冷不防丈夫在旁夢囈,打斷我思緒。「我真的很愛你……」450Please respect copyright.PENANAXMYxwkEOju
450Please respect copyright.PENANArd0Zf0p3Qv
「傻瓜……怎麼會愛上我這種鐵石心腸的女人……」我心頭一軟,愧疚萬分。奈何愧疚終歸只是愧疚,沒能化為愛情。「找其他愛你的女人當妻,好好活下去,不是更好嗎?」450Please respect copyright.PENANAnh0Y576zVW
450Please respect copyright.PENANAmX9u0Ld9y3
「我真的很愛你……老婆……」丈夫無意識的喃喃引出我淚。450Please respect copyright.PENANAiLwW3mLoOh
450Please respect copyright.PENANAXAPfjHqTqy
我輕掃他短髮,像是爸媽昔日溫柔撫掃我長髮。「試問世上誰可真正無情?遺憾是大家執著要把情愛投放在不合適的對象身上。婆婆和大強哥愛媽媽,媽媽愛爸爸,我愛他們,你和孩子愛我……記得你曾用『緣』和『命』去解釋『愛』。我現在告訴你,那是錯愛!是孽緣!是不該存在的……」450Please respect copyright.PENANAZggWaYrmNA
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咦?我剛剛說甚麼?450Please respect copyright.PENANAG7RbdUP5Oo
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不該存在的……450Please respect copyright.PENANAr8tQqUxeva
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命?450Please respect copyright.PENANAwMxPDXkQcV
憑藉在公司打滾十多年建立的「工作狂」形象,我成功騙過保安人員,得以獨自進入暫時停運的實驗室。我小心翼翼啟動時光機,準時於二零二四年七月十三日下午二時正撥通連接過去的電話。450Please respect copyright.PENANAeu9Vb28Exb
450Please respect copyright.PENANAK5Naf2LAtG
「喂!誰呀?」八歲的我,口吻像極爸爸。450Please respect copyright.PENANAKvtwTFWkL9
450Please respect copyright.PENANAGEHKaGIvSu
「我是來自未來的你。」我主意已決,內心再無波瀾,語調反倒輕鬆得可怕。450Please respect copyright.PENANAcsnx0n6HgF
450Please respect copyright.PENANAOEoM8jqyIU
「未來的我?你當了警官嗎?」八歲的我驚訝又興奮,不察覺自身記憶正被我回憶著。「要找我一起查案嗎?」450Please respect copyright.PENANA8U71rZffZZ
450Please respect copyright.PENANAt6d5cILCwH
「對!但我要先給你一個簡單小測試,看看你是否適合。」我一心二用,一邊唸出預先準備好的對白,一邊仔細觀察記憶如何生變。我發現回憶內容前後茅盾——上一秒沒有任何來電,我仍然痴痴守在電視前,下一秒卻是我與「未來的我」正在通電話。舊回憶正在隨著分秒流逝而被新回憶逐漸取代。450Please respect copyright.PENANAnj74j05Zqq
450Please respect copyright.PENANAWgX5KwxKOQ
靈機一觸,我想出如何計算距離意外發生尚有多少時間,馬上以卡通未來警官的口吻,講出那句交付任務前的經典對白:「比對時間!」450Please respect copyright.PENANA9MydRbHGUf
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「正午十二時零二分!」八歲的我模仿卡通片美少女的口吻確認時間。450Please respect copyright.PENANAoziADbqMUq
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「好!待會兒,爸爸下班回來後,你要嚷著到火車站旁邊的公園去。你必須趕在三時二十七分前到達公園遊樂場電話亭,屆時我會再次致電予你。」我名副其實的自欺欺人——我根本沒法再次致電。450Please respect copyright.PENANAKQ5Q2QGsDe
450Please respect copyright.PENANA1lFVnr4d1P
「犯人在那兒出現?」八歲的我興奮極了,不知自己將要面對何等殘酷的事。「不如我現在馬上前去!」450Please respect copyright.PENANAKzFVGkMMcQ
450Please respect copyright.PENANAldg61Hn3MJ
「你知道如何前往?」我記得自己是個路痴,差點兒大笑出來。450Please respect copyright.PENANA4rVoZMwGMQ
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「不知道……」八歲的我心靈弱小,因為未經風雨磨練。450Please respect copyright.PENANAUSclPN1XsY
450Please respect copyright.PENANAJqeRWC4QP2
「所以你要跟著爸爸去。而且以父女姿態出現,歹徒才不易察覺。」我邊笑邊流淚,痛心曾經的我不曾有過幸福的將來。450Please respect copyright.PENANAn9Mt8HO06k
450Please respect copyright.PENANAGm8PUIUtqC
「很細心!很厲害!果然是當警官的材料!」八歲的我對未來充滿幻想與期望。可憐。450Please respect copyright.PENANApVlxIRiH05
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「如果你沒有其他疑問,我現在就要掛線。」我驀地發現有人從保安室駭入時光機系統,想必是保安人員發現異樣。450Please respect copyright.PENANAjKlFGE2SWO
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「警官,我沒有疑問。請你放心。」八歲的我模仿卡通美少女對未來警官行禮致敬。450Please respect copyright.PENANAYd3wHyIyhb
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我放下電話筒,行禮,對將要被「意外離世」的我致敬。450Please respect copyright.PENANA3KS6LdtkJk
二零二四年,七月十三日,下午三時正。現今的我尚餘二十七分鐘壽命。450Please respect copyright.PENANAntRx3SvGkc
450Please respect copyright.PENANAhgtEpmyDgJ
我不發一言,毫不搭理負責問話的警員,默默觀察回憶的推進。舊回憶被取替以後,我絞盡腦汁亦無法憶起分毫,新回憶反倒異常清晰細緻……450Please respect copyright.PENANAxSoCydF2zQ
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八歲的我與爸爸走在離開月老廟的路上。剛才爸爸提及收到好友來電,特意提早回家,騰出時間為對方埋下銅錢劍。途中,湊巧遇見女鄰提著數個沉甸甸的大袋子。女鄰說是約了別的媽媽在公園交換孩子舊衣。爸爸主動幫忙……450Please respect copyright.PENANAvOoMmdhPOw
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原來如此。我記得當年除了爸爸外,還有幾位鄰居遭遇不測,包括這位女鄰。450Please respect copyright.PENANAloRQnM0yq7
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哀嘆一聲,有感命運既定,凡人即便掙扎再多亦枉然。若然爸爸注定要死,本來無恙的我是否注定逃過死劫?希望不會。450Please respect copyright.PENANAPgA8BCQCM3
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緊抓太多的執著,承受太多的痛苦,辜負太多愛我的人。這樣的我,為何要活下來……450Please respect copyright.PENANASuJEfAFMYP
450Please respect copyright.PENANAceJKRv6SPQ
下午三時二十分,回憶中的我已進入公園遊樂場範圍,痴痴守在在電話亭旁邊,想要跟別的孩子耍玩去,卻又不敢離開半步。450Please respect copyright.PENANAt29b14DG4k
450Please respect copyright.PENANAA5Q1woKev6
下午三時二十七分。一聲巨響貫徹半個城市,八歲的我來不及掩耳就看見爸爸和多名途人被出軌火車車身砸成肉醬。我害怕得動彈不能,不期然望向傾斜的電話亭,期望未來的我現身施援。誰料,予我希望的電話亭突然被重物砸中,往我這邊傾跌……450Please respect copyright.PENANAsa72dfFdO6
450Please respect copyright.PENANAHcClwXBbtZ
頃刻間,新舊回憶同時重疊、混合。我頭痛欲裂,全身乏力,不受操控往後傾躺於不知何時出現的一張床上。周遭人和物越變半透明,問話室隱去,貌似醫院病房的場景則越益實在。回憶未完全更新,但我已然意識到自己將會面對甚麼下場——我將要在病床上度餘生,眼白白看著曾經曇花一現的快樂記憶被苦痛代替……450Please respect copyright.PENANAPUkxAhD4M1
是日一九九七年七月十三日,慘劇發生已五年,我成為植物人已然五年——前來探望的婆婆在床邊如此說。450Please respect copyright.PENANA4M7d94aVf2
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我無法確定婆婆說的是否真確——我剛剛才恢復意識。450Please respect copyright.PENANATj4uCafih4
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睜不開眼。身體沉重如石,無法動彈。但我頭腦無疑是清醒的——我清楚記得爸爸慘死畫面和自己被電話亭砸中時的痛楚——一切像是一秒前發生的事情而已。450Please respect copyright.PENANAMnnHDo2tWg
450Please respect copyright.PENANApK29UnvPmU
婆婆仍在床邊絮絮唸,唸爸爸是如何拖累了她寶貝女兒,唸媽媽是如何不懂珍惜她的好,唸半死不活的我是如何成為媽媽包袱。450Please respect copyright.PENANAF4FgBaBybK
450Please respect copyright.PENANAEMgCk8PRvY
我欲哭無淚——為何我一覺醒來就發現世界變了樣?我成為植物人,爸爸離世,媽媽受累,婆婆對我惡言相向……450Please respect copyright.PENANAEkz2uJrzDC
450Please respect copyright.PENANAIUL07JFbIF
「你為何會在這裡?我不是吩咐過護士不讓你進來嗎?」門把手扭動聲傳來,媽媽暴怒聲音隨即響起:「快走!不然我親手趕走你!」450Please respect copyright.PENANA7XN2s21lpQ
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「我只想你活得好……」婆婆語帶不忿,但更多的是冤屈和無力。450Please respect copyright.PENANAZTqA1c7FKG
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媽媽沒有回話。沉默良久才放緩聲線勸走婆婆:「我也希望你活得好,也希望我女兒活得好。」450Please respect copyright.PENANAfXl8SrFrX5
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「醫生說她沒可能好起來……」婆婆哭腔中夾雜著醒鼻微響。450Please respect copyright.PENANAHYUj8sjgjk
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「我亦沒可能放棄她。」媽媽堅定不移。450Please respect copyright.PENANAMg1R3g6nGR
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「哈。」婆婆苦笑一聲,沒再多話,黯然離開病房。450Please respect copyright.PENANARen6I0hgc3
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門關。媽媽立馬撲前翻動我的身體,檢查有沒有異樣。450Please respect copyright.PENANAeO66Nxa32l
450Please respect copyright.PENANASikOdesC3m
「你毋須理會婆婆那些話喔!她就是個甚麼都抱怨的老人家!老人家都是這樣的!媽媽日後老掉也會這樣表現!哈哈哈!」媽媽笑得牽強,聽得我心痛。450Please respect copyright.PENANAPLnHJHbU1K
450Please respect copyright.PENANAOayWJxXka7
媽媽每天前來探望,風雨不改,甚至試過帶病現身。我多麼想回應她的關愛!尤在她口中得悉婆婆逝世當刻,我是如何想要緊擁嚎哭不止的她,安慰她、照顧她。450Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZEJ6A9Oki
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沒能。450Please respect copyright.PENANA9QJdAYqdy8
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某天,一名陌生男子前來探望我。他自我介紹說是媽媽的同事,大家都稱他「大強哥」。他本有意追求媽媽,奈何其後得知媽媽的亡夫竟是自己的故友。450Please respect copyright.PENANAQKuwpWGw70
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「我告訴她,當年就是我約他到公園那邊見面的……她沒有恨我,但也沒法勸服自己接受我……」大強哥態度淡然,層層深度壓抑卻不言而喻。「我今天到來找你……哈,其實沒甚麼特別要事。我只是需要一個傾訴對象。在街上走著走著時,突然想起你的存在,也就到這裡來……哈,真的沒甚麼特別要事……打擾了……」說罷,這個名為「大強哥」的奇怪男子默默離開病房,沒有在我身邊出現過。450Please respect copyright.PENANAUzq8fq3xAq
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五年後,媽媽因病離世。醫院因我無法支付醫藥費而將我轉介至療養院。450Please respect copyright.PENANANI3dNbXgkd
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靜。世界似乎遺忘了我、放棄了我。我回憶很多、掛念很多、疑惑很多。450Please respect copyright.PENANAsvp5W1Ud8s
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當年那通未來警官的來電是否惡作劇一椿?抑或是我在意外當日不小心犯下錯誤,導致未來被打亂,最終落得如斯下場?450Please respect copyright.PENANAvRrBSeaBCR
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哈——我驀地想起婆婆、媽媽、大強哥的笑聲。我這才明白他們的笑聲有多苦。450Please respect copyright.PENANAe7JH9Th9if
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苦得想死。450Please respect copyright.PENANACQdHvZ2Ycc