
我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。525Please respect copyright.PENANAN6zUSGoIDF
525Please respect copyright.PENANAQIKYugwVAD
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。525Please respect copyright.PENANA2m7CNJ1UA2
525Please respect copyright.PENANAYOTCc568HC
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。525Please respect copyright.PENANAuRz3c89ei6
525Please respect copyright.PENANAUvrZA5nA6I
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。525Please respect copyright.PENANAArSfJR1vhw
525Please respect copyright.PENANAn3lvlyqUPY
壓力似乎一併消散。525Please respect copyright.PENANAUShPKT9bKt
525Please respect copyright.PENANApIXTpDIUKS
茶盡。我再續杯。525Please respect copyright.PENANA1K3jSjRbBk
525Please respect copyright.PENANAxVkt8ZqYza
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。525Please respect copyright.PENANAEnuc3IKVMH
525Please respect copyright.PENANADO77ttLXG7
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。525Please respect copyright.PENANAD2QZ2D7U0b
525Please respect copyright.PENANA8XKxxmPfld
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。525Please respect copyright.PENANALWOPcav94y
525Please respect copyright.PENANAikb4KEAm5B
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。525Please respect copyright.PENANATtCYNHeClL
525Please respect copyright.PENANA01l6D6FzLb
夢醒一場空。525Please respect copyright.PENANAnTUFlLBq4u
525Please respect copyright.PENANAhLhUAEaJtO
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。525Please respect copyright.PENANAslnaSFXSHg
525Please respect copyright.PENANAhYRisRPy4b
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……525Please respect copyright.PENANAFdzoDjYJkZ
525Please respect copyright.PENANAFf0UxIbuk7
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。525Please respect copyright.PENANAdX5ijLxbNu
525Please respect copyright.PENANAjzjljJKQlf
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。525Please respect copyright.PENANA1fcC6EOPXX
525Please respect copyright.PENANAKNJHXXTtoc
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。525Please respect copyright.PENANA3RT8YdVeYU
525Please respect copyright.PENANAqCdnP5bDE7
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。525Please respect copyright.PENANAkz6pwkEJUF
525Please respect copyright.PENANAyKK87kV81X
我沾沾自喜。525Please respect copyright.PENANASqBUwR77I3
525Please respect copyright.PENANA2xGHEnAudX
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。525Please respect copyright.PENANAchXYrpkXRg
525Please respect copyright.PENANA8F1nwVK0jt
但我沒有向同學們坦白。525Please respect copyright.PENANAmd1NtwhJih
525Please respect copyright.PENANAK3qUSv9JAz
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。525Please respect copyright.PENANASpiweCc3b2
525Please respect copyright.PENANAjbm33zqC1U
努力,努力,努力。525Please respect copyright.PENANAIoIbFEyYiH
525Please respect copyright.PENANAUd0pu0pTi5
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。525Please respect copyright.PENANA4nYDMpFFS6
525Please respect copyright.PENANA0bhURSBqnp
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。525Please respect copyright.PENANAi1AAtyb9ay
525Please respect copyright.PENANAqT1XTiLlCA
以為。525Please respect copyright.PENANAhzJEOt5U2v
525Please respect copyright.PENANASMztB53A58
告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。525Please respect copyright.PENANA8zxEoSn8tC
525Please respect copyright.PENANAjRozgEDD2M
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。525Please respect copyright.PENANApFv7HV5gdS
525Please respect copyright.PENANAuxRtJcTyGX
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!525Please respect copyright.PENANAfPbHClHJT8
525Please respect copyright.PENANAx8dUOOLhLD
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。525Please respect copyright.PENANAfPtXh3XsSt
525Please respect copyright.PENANAvd8HzpNse1
我的作品感動了我。525Please respect copyright.PENANAgx5ydVMvFb
525Please respect copyright.PENANA8otOHihkQD
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。525Please respect copyright.PENANAJy2WiXIKs0
525Please respect copyright.PENANAnfyBJ5oxM5
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。525Please respect copyright.PENANAH6rK7dUwjn
525Please respect copyright.PENANAWf31wMWk7D
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。525Please respect copyright.PENANAAFZOdk4p0l
525Please respect copyright.PENANAB0oaL8bqcN
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……525Please respect copyright.PENANAKZgSW56w0w
525Please respect copyright.PENANAHdlpr2dhWU
熱茶又涼了。525Please respect copyright.PENANAqnPNnpuJGO
525Please respect copyright.PENANA6dnMrYSGhj
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。525Please respect copyright.PENANAaLngKyZwMY
525Please respect copyright.PENANAvVt0GJo7gl
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。525Please respect copyright.PENANAi2yKv9ZKm4
525Please respect copyright.PENANAU7GjLBoEA7
我的作品只感動了我。525Please respect copyright.PENANAKgSR98Olpz
525Please respect copyright.PENANA0Js2tgpQab
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。525Please respect copyright.PENANAsuGx26Ohrd