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Dystopia
Sidewinder_Neon
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Writer Nelso555
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  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
PG-13
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Sidewinder_Neon
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A - A - A
Intro 1 3 4 5 6 7 8
#2
Chapter 2
Nelso555
Jan 11, 2020
1
2
70
5 Mins Read
Comments ( 2 )
C.M.F. Wright - You are an excellent writer and this story flows really well so far! It is clear you have carefully edited this, which is really refreshing in an online/free story. I'm not sure why there are [more?]s in some spots, but I'm guessing this is a typo. I'd love to see a bit more into Kelly's head - what she feels about the mission, what her other thoughts are, just sort of get more of a sense of her as a person. But seriously, well done!
4 months agoreply

Nelso555 - Thank you so much for the feedback! I am posting as I write so there are bound to be typos but I always go back an edit when I can (although I obviously forgot to edit out the [more?] notes. I definitely want to get into Kelly's head as much as I can - a major part of this story is going to be exploring the psychological implications of this mission for her, so including more of her thoughts is an excellent suggestion. Thanks again for commenting and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
4 months agoreply

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