Pairings: Jensen X actress!Reader, Dean Winchester X hunter!Reader Ex!Jared X Reader
Warnings: a teeny bit of angst in the beginning, because of the sad! Reader and her confession, but the rest is just straight, pure fluff
Word Count: 2.3k
Everything blurs together, and you’re not sure what happened after the call. You only know that you ended up in a crumpled mess on the cold tile of the kitchen with Jensen’s phone on the floor next to your hands. Luckily, the phone is unarmed and scrape-free in the fall, but the same can’t be said for you and your heart as it thumps in a minute regret. Overall, you are satisfied with your decision to call her, but it doesn’t make the whole situation hurt any less.
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When you hear the click of the front door opening, your feet find their way to a standing despite your desire to remain on the floor for eternity. Wiping the tears from your face, you cautiously walk into the living room and prepare to face the aftermath.
Tugging mindlessly at your sleeves, your hands are covered and quivering. When he sees you, Jensen lets out a long breath and holds his arms out to you as if he already knows what is going through your mind without asking.
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You read the lines on his face like a book; one that tells the story of love, and sympathy. So many words jumping out at you and you read them as they come, or perhaps they buzz in your ears like whispers. Whatever the case may be, you find it to be calming and take gradual steps towards his open arms.
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Standing in front of him, he wraps his arms around you to pull you tightly against him, “it’s gonna be okay,” he whispers. “Everything is going to be just fine.” You can feel that he’s unsure of the words he’s speaking, but it warms your heart that he pushes aside his doubts to show security and strength to you.
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“I know,” you mumble into his chest. “I fixed it,” you choke, the tears pouring onto his shirt.
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Gently pulling you away, he scans your expression for answers to the questions in his mind. “What - what do you mean you ‘fixed it’?” he asks softly.
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You shrug faintly, “I - I called her,” you say, voice quivering along with the rest of you and finger shaking in a point at the kitchen - phone still on the floor. His confused eyes match your gaze. “I told her I lied about it.”
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Hiccuping now, the tears come quicker than your words can and his pressed face isn’t helping the bouncing in your stomach. He quickly relaxes his face and softens his voice, “why would you -” he starts. Bringing his hands to your arms, he dips his head down to your height. “What do you mean?” he says before pulling back up and looking around the room. “Here,” he says, guiding you towards the couch and plopping you onto the cushions before sitting next to you.
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You rest your knee up on the couch and face him, wiping your face with your sleeves. You take a deep breath and tell him everything; how you went in for a beer, but saw his phone and decided to call her.
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“I was angry when I told him to tell her. I didn’t think he would actually do it,” you say, shaking your head. “I - breaking them up is not what I wanted. That felt worse than I imagined it would. I don’t want drama. I don’t want to hurt her, I don’t want her to feel what I felt when I found out about them,” you breathe. “It’s painful, Jens,” you say, eyes back up at him as he nods. “It’s one of the worst feelings in the world; to be cheated on. And no matter how angry I was at them when it happened, I - I don’t want to hurt other people. Even if they hurt me.”
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Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes momentarily. He brings a hand to your arm and rubs lightly. “I’m over it now,” you say. “I just want all of this to be over. I don’t care about him, and I don’t care about her,” you shout, not realizing how loud you are talking until you stop for another breath. Lowering your voice, you bring a hand to his face and cup his cheek. “I just care about you,” you smile, tilting your head slightly.
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His eyes light up, a smile forming on his face. His hand lovingly tightens around your arm in response, not knowing what words to say. “You have been so, so amazing to me. Everything that you’ve done for me - I don’t even know how to begin in thanking you. You make me feel alive, something I haven’t felt in a long time, Jens. And - and it’s not even about any of that, really. I - “ saying the word, you let your mouth hang open. Your eyes move between his, and you watch the pink feel his smiling cheeks as you wonder if it’s too soon to tell him how you feel.
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“Jensen, I-” Crap, why is this so hard? You think, shaking your head. You grip onto his arms, holding him stable in front of you as if you’re preparing for him to flee. “You are so caring, and genuine. You are attractive, which is really just a plus,” you giggle. “You have been my savior, my hero, Jens, and I think that I might be-” you stop again.
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His face brightens, eyebrows no longer pressed together in confusion. Bringing his fingers to your face, he gently runs his thumb over your lips as a smile grows on his own. He watches your expression change as your head tips back just slightly. Slowly, he moves his hand to the side of your face. You close your eyes, letting him gently massage behind your ear, his hand caressing the side of your face.
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The couch creaks as he shuffles closer to you. Bringing his free hand to your face, he pulls you into him and kisses you softly. With eyes clenched tightly together, you grip onto the collar of his shirt. He pulls his lips from your plump lips but keeps his forehead pressed against you. “Me too,” he whispers softly.
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Keeping your hand on his shirt, your eyes shoot open as he pulls away. “Really?” you say it with an enthusiasm that makes him chuckle a bit.
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“Yes, really,” he smiles, kissing you once more. “I’ve been single for a long time, Y/N, and I wanted to keep it that way to focus on work, but you-” he laughs barely, the air coming out of his nose as he shakes his head once. “I wasn’t expecting to meet someone that could change my mind so quickly, but I’ve been drawn to you since your first day on set. You are so beautiful inside and out. You are smart and witty, and just incredible. You are brave and strong, and - and what you’ve just told me,” he shakes his head once more, almost in disbelief.
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You hold your breath as he speaks. “How you said you lied in order to get them back together despite everything they put you through. That’s not something I would have done, but… I commend that. I think it’s stupid to put yourself through that kind of pain, but I also think that it’s incredibly brave and - and it’s selfless.”
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A tear of relief finds a path down your cheek, and Jensen jumps to wipe it away. Your mind wanders off into a conversation from earlier before Jared barged in. You know now that you can trust Jensen, and you don’t know exactly why or what it is, but you’re ready to tell him your secret. If Jared had known all of these years and never made it public, why would Jensen?
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What feels like a wire in your jaw tenses and loosens as you search for a good starting ground for the topic, all the while Jensen has his hands on your arms. Your eyes are focused on your hands lying in your lap, “thank you,” you say, bringing your eyes to his.
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His lips fold down at the corners as he nods before pulling his hands away. He rotates around to stand, “dinner?” he asks, looking down at you.
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Before your mind has a chance to catch up, you throw your hand onto his arm and tug, “wait,” you say as he falls into the couch. “Sorry,” you laugh. “I just - I wanted to ask you something.”
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He nods again, this time with a warm smile, “anything.”
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“Have you ever-” you fidget with the sleeves of your shirt, twirling the cotton around your thumbs, accidentally pulling one of the threads out. When your eyes meet back up with his they suck you in, create a distraction. You focus on the string, using it to remind yourself of earlier. “You said ‘that’s my girl’ earlier, and I - I would like to bring that up again if we can.”
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His smile fades, the pink filling his cheeks once again. He nervously and embarrassingly chuckles again, head to the side as an awkward smile replaces the comfortable one, “aw, it’s just - just something that happens sometimes, I suppose.”
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“I actually - I want to talk about my experience with that kind of thing,” you say. His expression thaws, changing back into the sympathy from before now that the spotlight is off of him. “I struggle with… things.”
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Your mind is neither here nor there, you can’t seem to collect enough thoughts to form words and explain the things you are feeling. Where to start and where to end, you wonder. You continue to fidget with the shirt as he patiently waits for you to continue and it’s exactly the push that you need.
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“Jens, I have what some would call a problem,” you say confidently, looking back up at him. He only nods as he listens, “do you remember my second day on set, when Bell and Sam fought against the Djinn and Crowley came to save everyone?”
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He nods once more. You swallow your fears, pressing on. “Well, I - I didn’t pass out because of lack of food and water. I mean, that could have been a part of it, but I get really wrapped up in my characters. Maybe Jared already told you about this, I don’t know,” you say, rolling your eyes. You roll the sleeves up your arms and place your hands in his.
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“When I’m on set, I somehow diverge from myself. That day was especially difficult, and I don’t know the science behind it, but I was no longer Y/N for that take or any others for that matter. I become Bell. I was and am her and that day I was fighting for my life. It sounds really silly coming out of my mouth and hearing it out loud, but it’s true. I don’t know why it happens, but it does. The hands that I chopped off of the actress, I - I thought they were real for that moment. I was living it, Jens. It’s like reality is on one hand, and fiction is on the other, and I’m constantly holding my own hands,” you blurt out, looking down to realize your hands are folded together, Jensen’s covering the two.
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“Y/N,” he soothes. “That’s a lot more common than you might think,” he says softly. “I think that every actor deals with some form of that. You witnessed it from me earlier, and I’d be lying if I said that I never had to take a break in between heart-wrenching scenes because of how they affected me. I experience it, I know Jared has at one point. It’s not commonly talked about because I think like I imagine you are, most people are afraid of being judged for it. So we keep it to ourselves, we let it fester.” He pauses, looking to the side as he thinks.
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“You know what?” he says, lowering his head to catch your eyes. “I know someone who deals with it on the same level that you do.”
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Bringing your eyes up to his, you feel a wave of relief wash over you. While you are a bit angry that Jared has dealt with the thing he told you was an ‘issue’, the relief is too strong to care.
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“I can call her in the morning and set up a meeting if you’d like. For now, it’s late. Let’s try to get some sleep so we can be on time in the morning,” he smiles. “What do you say?”
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You nod as he stands, holding his hands out in front of him to help you to your feet. Hand in hand, you walk back to the one-room you haven’t set foot inside yet. He flips the light on and turns to face you, bringing his hands to the sides of your face.
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Somehow, each of his kisses is the same and different. Each one carries a different emotion, a different story. Each kiss is either a question or an answer, and this one is both. The question of whether you can trust him is proposed and answered in just a quick moment as his lips are pressed tightly against yours.
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Never have you felt so connected to a person and so quickly. You were never able to have non-verbal communication in this form with Jared, let alone have a rational conversation with him where you were on the same page. That was one of the areas you struggled most with him; communication.
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With Jensen, though, you feel like you’ve been together for years. It’s a dangerous yet secure feeling that can’t really be explained. It’s like visiting a new beach, unsure of the patterns of the tide but familiar with the heat of the sun and prickling of the sand. It’s like falling for someone every day at the same time as feeling like you’ve known them for your entire life. It’s getting to know the person you know. It’s home.
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And falling asleep in his arms is more than sleeping next to a person you care about. It’s being protected and cared for, knowing you feel the same way as the other person. No doubts, no insecurities, just comfort.
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