
天亮,上班。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAfJSgYiLQFc
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAqW3o49EsQu
擠進人山人海的車廂,心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物,我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟,好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAEDe0EMA6WH
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAcRIRxAhGqp
車廂一如往常,平穩中帶輕微搖晃,教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲,繼續進食,令人側目。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAcW02WTqNbc
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAmXl9LtlZX3
食物的細碎,像沙子一樣,在人們毫不注意的情況下,悄然掉在地上,再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站,人們再肆意加以踐踏,令碎粉再度粉碎。1005Please respect copyright.PENANACAeXpfE8yJ
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAIpO5Td40am
到站了,我有意無意地繞過人羣,「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉,心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上,我回頭望進車廂,想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉,但列車經已開駛。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAuZYfQLSIih
1005Please respect copyright.PENANATZkdwkPaCN
看不見,罷。
天黑,下班。1005Please respect copyright.PENANA2EKkZ6eugt
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAJycDR4xRT8
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂,繼續講上司的壞話。1005Please respect copyright.PENANADkb1csPLka
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAFOvRsVxC1w
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAaMdKW81s7i
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAI4VR8LnrIW
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不!有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰?我看不見……我不想看見……1005Please respect copyright.PENANAiWgYBt4U9X
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAw3UOBvnIEr
「啪」的一聲,男同事一手拍在我的小腿上,那隻螞蟻——扁了。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAfw0poytfxM
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAzLYmJrpHen
「沒事了!」他笑了笑,問我:「你很怕小昆蟲?」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAYSTlAx4oc3
1005Please respect copyright.PENANADg94br4N3y
「不,只是怕蟻。」我感覺到,我的唇還在顫抖,但卻仍勉力一笑。
公司,午飯時間。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAeXjkzuicXe
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA8UXbeTKL6X
甲小姐正在上網看劇;乙先生在打盹;丙小姐外出吃飯去;丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒;戊小姐……1005Please respect copyright.PENANAaVVKzasIFF
1005Please respect copyright.PENANABCgVbs4bw3
看著同事們的百態,我突然覺得自己和他們一樣,都是很渺小的生命體,小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事,尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌,不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎?那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別?1005Please respect copyright.PENANAA8rzRhzP2Y
1005Please respect copyright.PENANASyBU0LRKWh
驀地,我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過,卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上,讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失,我感到自己也消失了似的。
其實,真正的我只是一隻螞蟻,不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己變成人類,過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活,是有目的的付出,有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑,多奢侈!無他,這就是意義。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAjSi6PsXjgm
1005Please respect copyright.PENANALzwtNwvAO5
還是……1005Please respect copyright.PENANAy4j2FI5IJy
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAjiz6R6Mr1j
其實,真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢,幻想自己是一隻蟻,過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味,只懂一味尋找食物。無他,這就是生存!
公司,工作。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAuFOLuv39rt
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAzb6Lv2dmp2
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAszyUlFe1TK
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAnHeZqIbi0M
大家心知犯錯的不是我,奈何人是怕事的,只好把我推上斷頭台。事後,一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。1005Please respect copyright.PENANA25hp2askq5
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAC2MY3PGERi
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAKHUyzBWwjc
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAwMVln9fhak
剛巧,一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAaDAfd25GZN
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAMS4JapvbM8
快意,笑了。
酒吧,喝酒。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAVq7mcu8FvZ
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA9w4O5oneF9
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎?為何現在也怕酒起來?」男同事笑問。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAo74QtzjIRs
1005Please respect copyright.PENANACqYGxAgSxY
「其實,我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAOHe5bVSYaI
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAcsVivBki19
「還是……你根本不會喝酒?」他哈哈大笑。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAZlkXOCaE8m
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAqgWCyPXLtb
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲,我突然變得不大抗拒,乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAi87lpXyQ3X
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA2ARu6WvJnW
醉倒。1005Please respect copyright.PENANABu6KdYyP94
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAnj6zgMX4yZ
迷糊間,我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體,不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲,想要到它的洞穴去……1005Please respect copyright.PENANA9m6peNv2xv
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA59w6qjU0QF
「上天取走你的一扇門,定會留給你一扇窗。」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAVC8L2Ordkc
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA8xKvID55jC
今趟,上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。
假期,醫院。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAFwXzXusUb0
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAKL5QdH99DC
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病,還未明確,因為報告要待下星期才會完成。1005Please respect copyright.PENANABl2slab1Wr
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAhDkOI5XDWT
看見媽的時候,家中各人都是淚眼漣漣,很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。1005Please respect copyright.PENANA4VUKqTWMKM
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAThoFuj4eRs
「我覺得……」近幾天,媽的話都變得斷斷續續:「自己……」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAWW9JD2HGyL
1005Please respect copyright.PENANALOui8vEdte
大家都屏息靜氣,深怕這是她的最後一句話。1005Please respect copyright.PENANALhpVLbUOFZ
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA0KpPGyvdNA
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音,輕如柔絲,但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAPPq4mYYhud
1005Please respect copyright.PENANARPpipfRSg2
死寂。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAjA28yrTMOP
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAm0ScPSmiDT
出乎我意料,這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話,不論是肉體還是心靈上。
回家,晚飯。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAVma17x5fyp
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAfVqWeQr3n0
一枱六椅,異常的沉默。電視的聲浪,掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意,繼續吃。1005Please respect copyright.PENANA9jNGXcjlft
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA7siIHl7qzK
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子:「不如外出吃飯。」1005Please respect copyright.PENANA3sSe02kmVX
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA4CXE4qTuGD
妹放下筷子衝進房內,甩門;姨低下頭來,但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見;婆呆了,眼眶紅潤;我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAiUbUrDR9St
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAJagEa3CeuK
我心想:世界末日來臨後,地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻?
每次望著媽,心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣,彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAnloT3GBtqo
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAfZEnoy58ZP
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑!就是因為她是一隻螞蟻,所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭,去減輕她的負擔。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAeeUUjMOXFG
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAU1qDYPJiQC
久而久之,我每次一見到她,便會掉頭走。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAOTphdawzRB
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAfBuNQ3b93w
但我知道,我永沒能走遠。
男友家,床上。1005Please respect copyright.PENANA70eaCRmv5a
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAOCbyaO8gW9
前奏後,男友進入極度興奮狀態,沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時,我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。1005Please respect copyright.PENANACWurBrg0OM
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAzROoWF3diL
産房內有一張床,床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了,是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示,她要生産了。不消一會,整張床上都是幼蟻,恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAFSlrgOR2vb
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAAGNvx8195W
我驚恐萬分之際,耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音:「他朝君體也相同!」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAJpgtDq0Fg7
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAAIu9lQ6Xwk
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮,於是更用力……
舊生聚會,內地某酒家。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAK7jB6qSshY
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAPPdPu0xWQE
說也奇怪,舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意,說會給我們驚喜。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAsiPXLPpiVy
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAFNJTQUJUUB
「蟻宴?」我呆了,但逃不了。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAyJWxvhktym
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAPieRBQAWCc
「你有收看《天與地》嗎?」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAJX6JanR7uM
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA2BMRyfplvf
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼!」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAbbl9OUb2Hp
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAWYdPDCnbqb
「結局何如?」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAX2RkXWBbMA
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA9giS70rgc8
「沒好下場!」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。1005Please respect copyright.PENANADtjst6qQDs
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAe05jATykmg
「對!沒好下場!」我在心裡重覆著,衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。
男友有很多恐怖的寵物:蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時,他都會放一些寵物在床邊,以增加他的性趣。1005Please respect copyright.PENANACYjj1E3LO6
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAYDl8783GMM
今趟,床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後,我不經意的問道:「你的寵物呢?」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAzTE0eHq7eB
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAoaK3WApYNO
「在你體內。」1005Please respect copyright.PENANADYnQg5wa66
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA2kgboYdyNA
「甚麼?」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAM3fiwpneEC
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAXs99prTndD
「蟻。」
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAQJCmh9MhFv
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAxXvPZKsn3g
它平常會做甚麼?做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯,它會做的事真的很多,但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活!它最好立刻消失!1005Please respect copyright.PENANA1P3KCbJgCh
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA5zOUnJt0jk
結果,我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。
靈堂上,我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。1005Please respect copyright.PENANATWNrNz2k5E
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAhRNjwJuRaQ
「她真的死了嗎?」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊,但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAvUhcEuWpu5
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAGrwddQlz52
「誰?」另一聲音反問。1005Please respect copyright.PENANANqXaPjaStz
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAHqYLmsYgx1
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道:「她……」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAm5uIPLT1Xc
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA2Fh9EhjMKJ
靜。1005Please respect copyright.PENANAwj0Aq5NuB2
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAvSZoPKIJU1
我回過神來,低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。
我:「我的耳朵有毛病嗎?為何會聽到螞蟻講話?」1005Please respect copyright.PENANALMs1EugDP1
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAixf3qqIuYD
醫:「不。是你的壓力過大,導致有幻聽。」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAfa3LkG3oWn
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAuG0Rl90ym2
我:「我有精神病?」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAb4aw2TARN4
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAj52iK5hNQO
醫:「是情緒病。」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAdnweF5Oeol
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAl5f7yFKR5S
我:「怎麼辦?」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAIslCSzUQnm
1005Please respect copyright.PENANALvNwrg5Yz7
醫:「我會處方一些藥物,你要按時服用;另外,你也要多休息……」1005Please respect copyright.PENANA28WRwr3xMW
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAhxXv2ib3ZB
我:「謝謝醫生。」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAm4A9r2Gs8W
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAy5yilMOr7c
醫:「不用謝。」1005Please respect copyright.PENANAvKMnF2joYD
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAJKJbXCWd8R
離開診所時,我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。1005Please respect copyright.PENANA0hMbb1iKAh
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAMleEMDM2A3
不,我走近細看,是「虫馬虫義」專科。
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻?1005Please respect copyright.PENANAskD5wCxKRh
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAUldl6FPbLe
醫生替我作身體檢查,一切正常;1005Please respect copyright.PENANAkmWdcHDqgC
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAhaXuLu0zgd
男友向我解釋,螞蟻之說,純粹幽默;1005Please respect copyright.PENANAqIesLugLmj
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAWwDT5T0OOG
同事都勸我休息,減少工作量;1005Please respect copyright.PENANA85klNWCIEV
1005Please respect copyright.PENANAbHF1rfyhK5
……1005Please respect copyright.PENANA2HuMB2cfPv
1005Please respect copyright.PENANALDQswOvTXC
「真的有蟻在我體內!」我尖叫,奪門而出,從天台一躍而下,肝腦塗地。1005Please respect copyright.PENANA4eAMjDMDFS
1005Please respect copyright.PENANA3VOUDU4HpE
臨死前,我看見那東西了——不是蟻,是……