
二十年前——627Please respect copyright.PENANAO9WBTuFbco
627Please respect copyright.PENANAj3wk8JWKVb
小荷是個人見人愛的六歲小女孩,胖胖白白的臉配上一雙水靈大眼。她每天穿著荷媽親手做的一雙由彩色布碎拼湊而成的小鞋子到處玩耍,有時會跟同村的孩子們跑上山頭採菇,有時會為獨居老人送上新鮮採摘的漂亮花朵,有時會在湖邊遊蕩。627Please respect copyright.PENANAYh8Wq3gu6a
627Please respect copyright.PENANAxVnSEWVeQy
荷媽曾多次提醒她切勿走近湖邊,但小荷偏偏喜歡看蓮花,說蓮花是仙女的化身。荷媽忙著預備晚餐,不甚耐煩地反譏小荷幼稚。小荷不堪被譏諷,激動嚷著會帶蓮花仙女回家,然後頭也不回衝出家門。627Please respect copyright.PENANA5kwqpGW2St
627Please respect copyright.PENANAx60Z1FAkpJ
傍晚,晚餐備好了,小荷還沒有回家。荷媽心緒不寧,深怕小荷遇上意外。她挑燈外出,急步走往湖邊。627Please respect copyright.PENANAFrAgM6esGS
627Please respect copyright.PENANAnjNQjqOrzq
小荷不在。627Please respect copyright.PENANA9sriVLWZl0
627Please respect copyright.PENANAtG6VyvSAfZ
荷媽的心頭涼了大截,連忙前去村長家求助。沒多久,大伙兒在湖邊叢林間搜索。627Please respect copyright.PENANAMhfgxpsQxj
627Please respect copyright.PENANA9YWN7JBCzl
無發現。627Please respect copyright.PENANAJN8ZLwIlSt
627Please respect copyright.PENANAtg7X3pkdNp
村長打算重新部署搜索行動之際,有人指著湖中央的一朵蓮花大叫:「看!湖中那朵蓮花上有一隻鞋!」627Please respect copyright.PENANAeXC1m0bllx
627Please respect copyright.PENANAAT8JluAGxI
大伙兒定睛細看,卻因光線不足而未能確定那是否一隻鞋。荷媽救女心切,不理眾人勸阻跳入湖中游向那朵蓮花。游著、游著,她的身影突然消失了。627Please respect copyright.PENANAURc1uB3ihw
627Please respect copyright.PENANAGrYLEa0UfJ
為免有更多人命犧牲,村民只得待天亮才落水找荷媽。不出所料,荷媽的腳踝被水草纏住,溺斃湖底。村民認得蓮花上的鞋子確是屬於小荷,但找遍湖底亦找不到她的身影。唯有繼續在林間搜索。無果。個多月後,眾人認為找到小荷的機會渺茫,於是停止搜索。627Please respect copyright.PENANAgLLLTyjksg
627Please respect copyright.PENANAwGXAACQ2C0
村裡開始流傳蓮花仙女帶走小荷的傳聞……627Please respect copyright.PENANA9mFhCaGStb
627Please respect copyright.PENANA3LZzoJ9F0w
「那是在你出生前發生的事情?」阿夏一邊聽得著迷,一邊望著車窗外的油油綠草地,驚嘆著這寧靜山村背後竟有這種可怕事。627Please respect copyright.PENANAEdkAM4hQCb
627Please respect copyright.PENANAuOgjP5L0CV
「不。當年我十歲,和小荷挺熟絡。」芙兒沒心情欣賞風景,逕自倚著椅背,微微仰首凝視車廂天花那色調偏冷的米光燈。627Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4hTKw2vl4
627Please respect copyright.PENANA2O7HLOewxd
「小荷失蹤一事是你當警察的原因嗎?」阿夏與芙兒作伴數年,不難看出芙兒心事重重,尤其今趟「回鄉之旅」是離鄉別井十多年的芙兒主動提出,可見其別具意義。627Please respect copyright.PENANAFownwDZHso
627Please respect copyright.PENANAo3La7dhBlB
「嗯……一部份吧。不能說是完全因為她,也不能說是與這事情毫無關係。」芙兒苦笑,些許後悔無故主動提及這大煞風景的陳年往事。回鄉目的不是向各位鄉親苦老宣佈自己與阿夏的婚訊和設喜宴嗎?不是要歡天喜地、眉開眼笑嗎?627Please respect copyright.PENANAeCmBZ0ooj0
627Please respect copyright.PENANAbCS5tryYyl
「不管如何……」阿夏是個聰明人,明明對案件內容細節有興趣,但也知道要適可宜止。他輕拍芙兒的手背,安慰道:「事情已然過去,多想無益。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAyqrrjHdxmA
627Please respect copyright.PENANAG1GSiKRndW
「是的。過去了。」芙兒吁一口氣,似是釋懷,奈何揪心的感覺難以單憑幾句安慰說話連根拔起。627Please respect copyright.PENANA4sn6U8MjP7
627Please respect copyright.PENANAAG7NieUl01
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?627Please respect copyright.PENANAvAEfdGn9Hh
627Please respect copyright.PENANAD0hK3DhA0s
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。627Please respect copyright.PENANAYKR1d8YUbP
627Please respect copyright.PENANASflAT2mBGt
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAtPPt2U2fvg
627Please respect copyright.PENANAgSnfXXURMM
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。627Please respect copyright.PENANAhKdjmRhK6v
627Please respect copyright.PENANASHdANuoPj3
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。時間彷彿隨著步伐逆行,日落月出,瞬間回到二十年前那個夜晚……627Please respect copyright.PENANALaaSneiuHd
627Please respect copyright.PENANA0kCxVpGPV7
「我帶芙兒外出散步散心。」晚飯後,芙爸病懨懨地對妻子說。627Please respect copyright.PENANA6ioyZY1MuT
627Please respect copyright.PENANADHqWVUs6N8
「嗯。」芙媽忙於照顧病兒,分身不暇。627Please respect copyright.PENANA4pB8RJod6E
627Please respect copyright.PENANAGsgHZw7kzt
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上,芙爸眉頭鎖得更深。芙兒乖乖不作聲,默默尾隨他快步走。627Please respect copyright.PENANAJRk1l4jeKL
627Please respect copyright.PENANAX0thi9F8Hq
「芙兒,你愛媽媽嗎?」627Please respect copyright.PENANAKKrJ50jwA4
627Please respect copyright.PENANAaDqd4Q5UWC
「愛。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAxlogQGCz60
627Please respect copyright.PENANAVK4Qs4UH2V
「你愛爸爸嗎?」627Please respect copyright.PENANAkAiRmfxSPl
627Please respect copyright.PENANAheNn7k1nnS
「愛。」627Please respect copyright.PENANA4W1bd0wArS
627Please respect copyright.PENANABilZaqcrgX
「你愛哥哥嗎?」627Please respect copyright.PENANAJdQ5ylHY2t
627Please respect copyright.PENANAkZhXa46FZW
芙兒心裡一寒,不自已停下腳步——她早前無意間發現爸爸向前任村長秘密查詢有關人口販子的事。難道爸爸為了替哥哥籌措醫藥費而打算賣掉她?627Please respect copyright.PENANAnX1DlWV23g
627Please respect copyright.PENANAwbYlGRFDMl
「你愛我嗎?」芙兒無力反問。627Please respect copyright.PENANALIR9Xlx5he
627Please respect copyright.PENANAgVrjhD0JXB
芙爸沒有回答,繼續低頭開步走。627Please respect copyright.PENANARnRmiycU4Z
627Please respect copyright.PENANAYYcANeruVO
芙兒想要跑回家去,雙腳卻不由自主隨著爸爸走,縱然明知那是不歸路。627Please respect copyright.PENANAGLQ1WTTV8o
627Please respect copyright.PENANAwhQjC7BDpT
途經蓮花池,巧遇小荷。芙爸倏忽衝前打昏小荷。芙兒明白爸爸的意圖,連忙拉住他。627Please respect copyright.PENANASgyj7ROdF2
627Please respect copyright.PENANAKVuQTU3PKg
「小荷是無辜的!」627Please respect copyright.PENANAI5ec90PqnW
627Please respect copyright.PENANAKjM41zSyN0
「但我捨不得你啊!」627Please respect copyright.PENANAJdVDXSI4gj
627Please respect copyright.PENANAKDJBVfHt5a
芙兒不期然鬆開了手——她聽得出話裡的割捨與堅決。爸爸向來善良老實,日子艱難亦不會做鼠竊狗偷的勾當。奈何今次關乎兒子的生命安危和女兒的命運!他寧可割捨良知,亦要保住家人。627Please respect copyright.PENANAqgPvdnEpO2
627Please respect copyright.PENANAcgaBmZcesH
芙兒理解了、妥協了,芙爸眼神反倒更為悲憤不安。他脫下小荷的一隻鞋,使勁拋向蓮花池。鞋子剛好不偏不倚落在池中央的一朵大蓮花上。627Please respect copyright.PENANA0RwXjNJpNv
627Please respect copyright.PENANAoyAhJX2amF
父女兩人不約而同望向那朵大蓮花。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。627Please respect copyright.PENANAPMZkhGQHZu
627Please respect copyright.PENANAPUtnETFDAG
小黑點,人生裡的大污點。627Please respect copyright.PENANARN5kArlygx
627Please respect copyright.PENANAoHfQm0PuDW
來到約定的地方。人口販子沒有芙兒想像中的鼠頭獐目。他相貌平凡,打扮平凡,舉止平凡,有如田裡的一顆穀粒,獨一無二卻平凡普通。627Please respect copyright.PENANAmSkQXzJDOA
627Please respect copyright.PENANA0CCnbWaBIv
二人無聲的奉上小荷,默默的收下金錢,不能見光的交易在無光的樹林中順利完成。627Please respect copyright.PENANAYnbGWF5sKE
627Please respect copyright.PENANArYPWaDkd6i
芙兒自此在這夜池邊中無限輪迴。627Please respect copyright.PENANA1iUMBJVTNK
627Please respect copyright.PENANAlgCP5lrDSQ
晝如夜,夜是夜。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,異裝同臉。池中有蓮,家中有蓮,路中有蓮,蓮上有鞋。627Please respect copyright.PENANAVAfaWXP7Ly
627Please respect copyright.PENANATxPP8zgPpc
瘋了。芙兒的世界瘋了。627Please respect copyright.PENANAqiVLZA2vwT
627Please respect copyright.PENANAd6K52iwaEm
需要救贖。無人能救。只得自救。627Please respect copyright.PENANAzOzx6NYJte
627Please respect copyright.PENANAyBXaq5iEum
救哥哥,犧牲小荷。救自己,犧牲誰?627Please respect copyright.PENANA0O65IwkO49
627Please respect copyright.PENANAStLkcdAY5A
「記住,賣掉小荷的人是我,不是你。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAJUXrJgxFak
627Please respect copyright.PENANA0sNwrjvKGj
「我沒有阻止你。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAuOhNx4Bewp
627Please respect copyright.PENANAgWti5d3nKk
「阻止得了麼?」627Please respect copyright.PENANAMbqPrewXAS
627Please respect copyright.PENANAeiHR4JC0wd
「至少,我該要嘗試。」627Please respect copyright.PENANACRYxGqlUwx
627Please respect copyright.PENANA9pVeQJDws9
「嘗試有用麼?」627Please respect copyright.PENANAQsLZ8iIUGz
627Please respect copyright.PENANAVljvCniBSS
芙兒如夢初醒——芙爸企圖獨自扛起一切責任,救贖芙兒。她不自控笑著流淚,內心得到救贖的同時又跌落另一深淵——自己得救,爸爸犧牲。627Please respect copyright.PENANAu8ryH916nL
627Please respect copyright.PENANATLsyBvUWOb
真的得到了救贖嗎?不肯定。627Please respect copyright.PENANAlMYA4usIwF
627Please respect copyright.PENANARJN8eHK7qm
她離鄉到城市尋找工作,輾轉當上警察。對失蹤案尤感興趣。找人,找救贖。找到人,找不到救贖。627Please respect copyright.PENANAnGiRbktawX
627Please respect copyright.PENANAUAaRXnoMlH
收到來自家鄉的信,提及哥哥病逝。她丟掉信件,假裝未曾收到。根本沒意義,根本誰也沒能得救,無論犧牲多大。627Please respect copyright.PENANAD3J3gLGZiU
627Please respect copyright.PENANAvckCLPAK9p
芙媽來了,問芙兒為何不出席哥哥的喪禮。她說不知道哥哥逝世一事。芙媽低頭掩面大笑,笑了很久,然後哭了很久。「你爸說你不會為此回來,我說你不是狠心的人。原來我們都錯了——你根本不知情。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAW6tGyif1Te
627Please respect copyright.PENANAmZR8b6B5YX
有甚麼值得笑或哭?芙兒不明白。或許媽媽也不明白,純粹為笑而笑、為哭而哭,無謂卻有為。至少她的情緒得以紓緩,面容不再繃緊。627Please respect copyright.PENANAR2W5Uj6jPJ
627Please respect copyright.PENANAlXUJQ6NqyX
數年後,芙媽死了。芙兒同樣沒有出席喪禮。她向上司請假數天,躲在家裡,足不出戶。不斷憶起媽媽當日又哭又笑的癲狂模樣。真羨慕。沒有隱藏,沒有秘密。627Please respect copyright.PENANAxMnSw7VOb5
627Please respect copyright.PENANALe4Jx31PVr
假期完結後,芙兒重投工作。警局來了一個新丁,名叫阿夏,比芙兒年輕數載。他長有一張孩子臉,胖胖白白,水靈大眼,像小荷。芙兒的目光離不開阿夏,主動接近他、勾搭他。二人由相識至同睡一床,僅是三天內的事。627Please respect copyright.PENANAplqa7Um9mB
627Please respect copyright.PENANAe7l1sA6i7y
阿夏不解。627Please respect copyright.PENANA5yABSbk6ve
627Please respect copyright.PENANAWClxF8yR4i
「你不似是水性楊花的女人。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAScHB41Qohi
627Please respect copyright.PENANAxvvF9pNN2l
「你不似是諸事八卦的男人。」627Please respect copyright.PENANA0vc8JE6Ma9
627Please respect copyright.PENANAKkTB4GzfHa
阿夏開始追求芙兒。芙兒不接受,卻偶爾與他同睡。為何不愛他卻會與他睡?是發洩,是鬱悶,或是對往事的情感投射?芙兒解釋不了,亦不想解釋——找到解釋之時,另一個問題就會隨即出現。627Please respect copyright.PENANAi2y5OJYZnv
627Please respect copyright.PENANA0VMgkBbcGD
繼續同睡,繼續被追求,繼續找人找救贖。生活不過如此,平平凡凡,無無謂謂。627Please respect copyright.PENANAJry05d4TAl
627Please respect copyright.PENANAcSB72CFFSp
數年後的某天,芙兒收到來自兒時鄰居的一通電話。對方說芙爸病重,行將就木,希望她回鄉探望。627Please respect copyright.PENANAskhL1DS2tr
627Please respect copyright.PENANAhTkeIZtwMw
「是他希望我回去,或是大家希望我回去探望他?」627Please respect copyright.PENANAIJuhxH8vhE
627Please respect copyright.PENANAUrTuaBcxLR
「他堅持不要通知你,但大家還是決定要告訴你。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAMgZbSfScw3
627Please respect copyright.PENANAtQyXhF6JLP
「我明白了。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAf2WWvwgg5q
627Please respect copyright.PENANA2MiqMRzgeo
當晚,芙兒跟阿夏說要盡快回鄉宣佈婚訊、設喜宴。627Please respect copyright.PENANAsWMllLR4g0
627Please respect copyright.PENANAFk0BXT6Vjx
「你跟誰結婚?」阿夏詫異。627Please respect copyright.PENANAXAsWYD974c
627Please respect copyright.PENANAuUqnVnC0Ls
「你。」芙兒明白阿夏的不明白。627Please respect copyright.PENANAiusKoD48pW
627Please respect copyright.PENANABImkwQB7Up
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?627Please respect copyright.PENANASGPSRtALrX
627Please respect copyright.PENANAj6jC1v6QUS
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。627Please respect copyright.PENANA95NXCOkPWY
627Please respect copyright.PENANAvCLems6j3S
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAGnqJlOOIwD
627Please respect copyright.PENANAvq6LZWrQDE
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。627Please respect copyright.PENANAI3eJ2P9Is5
627Please respect copyright.PENANAfgp2C164nD
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。踱踱踱,時間有可能隨著步伐逆轉,帶她回到二十年前的那個晚上嗎?若明知結果,她還是會不阻止爸爸賣掉小荷嗎?627Please respect copyright.PENANANhTafn2H1N
627Please respect copyright.PENANAx0orDE7fON
老家陋宅裡,趁著阿夏上廁所的空檔,芙兒湊近芙爸耳邊直接問:「若明知結果,你還是會賣掉小荷嗎?」627Please respect copyright.PENANAJQUUp4O4Q1
627Please respect copyright.PENANAiok43xUujj
「會。」氣若柔絲的芙爸斬釘截鐵:「因為我是當爸的。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAThQI1lYHYO
627Please respect copyright.PENANA8bGqrcGkd2
「若沒有遇上小荷,你會賣掉我嗎?」627Please respect copyright.PENANA9HarmRHipX
627Please respect copyright.PENANAcX1YBJOEJP
「會。因為你們兄妹倆都會活著。活著才會有希望。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAPkRxjCT9Zh
627Please respect copyright.PENANAjNT7ObNukO
芙兒大受刺激,轉身奪門而出。627Please respect copyright.PENANAHB0r2QQjq9
627Please respect copyright.PENANAWCtaUSHUlX
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上行人疏落,卻異裝同臉,小荷的臉。路中倏忽生出白蓮朵朵,蓮上皆有小彩鞋一隻。芙兒知道自己瘋了,眼前盡是幻覺。理智脫軌,她不再恐懼,像個十歲的少女那樣跳脫輕盈,一步踏一蓮,來到池邊。627Please respect copyright.PENANALf07C7kv2v
627Please respect copyright.PENANAbwRa67xG4h
池邊有人,像小荷,像芙爸,像人口販子,像阿夏。她握著一隻彩色小鞋,木無表情直盯池中那朵大蓮花。芙兒走近女子,女子報以微笑,遞上手中小鞋。627Please respect copyright.PENANA6h9nZzRCEF
627Please respect copyright.PENANAAAYXZNPF9v
芙兒接過它,模仿爸爸當晚的姿勢,以完美的拋物線弧度拋出小鞋。小鞋不偏不倚剛好落在池中央的蓮花上,有如二十年前的那夜。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。627Please respect copyright.PENANAxU0NjdJJLu
627Please respect copyright.PENANAtpJW4UTiKE
女人哈哈大笑起來,笑聲豁然開朗。芙兒腳下的白蓮和小鞋驀地消失隱去,唯獨女子依然完好站在面前。笑過以後,女子轉身離開,身影沒入林間不復見。627Please respect copyright.PENANAXsbdBUc2T7
627Please respect copyright.PENANA6HAWeRu9Dr
芙兒惘然——她不肯定對方是幻覺或是確切存在的真人。627Please respect copyright.PENANAES7MbzR2rs
627Please respect copyright.PENANA0pX9UtRmXD
數日後,芙爸與世長辭。627Please respect copyright.PENANAEorsNB1jJs
627Please respect copyright.PENANAWvQvC9RSxl
「既然不需要沖喜,你還會跟我結婚嗎?」627Please respect copyright.PENANA1de31Urkbx
627Please respect copyright.PENANAOBaPkdoSf3
「你想跟我結婚嗎?」627Please respect copyright.PENANAkY6UiK7xzI
627Please respect copyright.PENANAJbby9eoSpU
「想。我愛你。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAZJgDp8k6l2
627Please respect copyright.PENANAGGCihetxdG
「那就繼續吧。」627Please respect copyright.PENANAVmPYtG8PFK
627Please respect copyright.PENANAdctUXK3W6j
喜慶夜,大排筵席。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,新郎是小荷,老爺是小荷,奶奶是小荷,滿堂皆是小荷。芙兒帶醉喜極而泣,感激小荷前來祝福她。627Please respect copyright.PENANAqlF2xkWVzz
627Please respect copyright.PENANADc7bvDTUdg
宴後,賓客散去。醉得幾近失去意識的芙兒被攙扶到新房去。滾燙的臉龐忽爾涼涼的。她知道有人為她用濕毛巾抹臉抹汗。627Please respect copyright.PENANAsC7vVMU7Gy
627Please respect copyright.PENANApsxNA5wu6j
「謝謝你……小荷……」627Please respect copyright.PENANAvo2blxdgTf
627Please respect copyright.PENANAVAo5OHMmsQ
「不用客氣……」627Please respect copyright.PENANAVhPEKeMZXP
627Please respect copyright.PENANAlxIk18vQ4K
說著說著,阿夏哭了。晶瑩淚水沿著胖白的臉頰下滑,水靈大眼楚楚可憐。像小荷。