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我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv73faA68b
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOMhkEz3Fh
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptE7DEZSBL
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM1kFeO7kD
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGgw1UzrD0
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1vxja6FZL
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgpod5qEaj
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jqC7VH68y
壓力似乎一併消散。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVigV6myV7X
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QTvFXBCUw
茶盡。我再續杯。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbRQ7rVP8G
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZePZGWnfs
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq7SrkBHvR
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiSXKWDEH3
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUR4eBqLP1n
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FM5zTiQcP
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOxTplNVs7
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ssJKcrDSQ
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1hqmkX6VW
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8pWqeLXen
夢醒一場空。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVYlD0lh0Z
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvp0J2iwLT
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohOYDScTKF
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuntZ4oWfzm
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnHUWgoCO5
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVY4aJPytg
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIjAWwzOkR
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZzgrQulv8
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlP6E4OcmjU
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtgWfEk8rS
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThBsFazTfo
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUtg6nAfia
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CeemZZt17
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRC97qDKRL
我沾沾自喜。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQ04iRXBGi
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5Ew615CGq
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE6El2gj7c
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFIz12mR6e
但我沒有向同學們坦白。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXcZxbWhnx
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡag4rWO2EHQ
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0GJzM7jyX
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VL1TVkRky
努力，努力，努力。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYR4iiOSmRN
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuClhiyecA
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJOnYdkYYF
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDAeSLbmLL
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIP7nsaKg5S
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6Buf3HD9J
以為。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDnTf6c3ux
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRjycIueUq
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30Qy6fUH9b
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bmLwXuRyM
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQj8NvlV28
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvy0r2WDosx
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoG74FU01MM
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrmbXtAuRT
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7NFVRplSJ
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtp4V3pMaK
我的作品感動了我。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5i9ZhgjXU
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQNkMgVuqe
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OJmTmaoW4
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaC6BTm7kA
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBgHfMXbqY
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkL81zPKVGj
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVIKkvI0UD
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuh7BGPuiN2
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpGAm0Nwwa
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrK95e1XwE8
熱茶又涼了。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxqZsaki7u
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkKJLTGq2J
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1qikljMIt
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrlHZTa83f
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu65bcSEvKt
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwFhvlSG6c
我的作品只感動了我。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9oWpbLXKz
529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSxdfqXabC
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwITfGK0Bd
