This is a good chapter. Well, all of them are. So this is a great chapter, is what I mean. Well, all of them- you get the joke.
I like this chapter. Just like I liked the Elemental chapter of Book I. Remember that? That freaky mess? Don’t worry, this one isn’t like that one, there’s no ‘imagination’ element in this chapter. Get it? That was funny, and I wasn’t even trying! What, it wasn’t funny? alright fine whatever not like i wanted you to laugh or anything
So, the theme of this chapter is obviously Kickball. Yeah, really simple, huh? Well, it was a huge part of my Elementary School for everyone in the school.
That’s because of the 5th Grade Kickball Tournament.
Yeah, that’s right. Our school was pretty cool.
So, at the end of each year, the P.E. coaches sponsor a tournament where every 5th grader is randomly assigned to a kickball team. Each team, totalling up to 8, face off against each other in a… tournament… well, duh.
Anyway, so this was huge. Every kid, even the kindergarteners knew about this event, specifically because the announcements would talk about them every day the week before we got our teams. And then when the coaches released those…
On the first day of the tournament, in our P.E. classes, the coaches gave specific people pieces of paper which had everyone on each team. The specific people given the paper were eventually named the captains of those teams. The coaches said they were ‘randomly chosen’.
They weren’t. Everyone knew that.
Every single captain was one of the jocks or was one of the popular kids. Wow, coaches, aren’t you guys special?
Let’s just go through who they were. The first six captains don’t matter. Of course they don’t. It’s climacticy. Just the last two that are important. Course it’s like that, this is an unorig- I’m kidding.
Okay, whatever. Those guys are scrubs (except team 6- their team name was the Fire-Breathing Rubber Duckies- they were the main attraction of the Kickball Tournament (besides the obvious kickball games themselves) because there was always at least one team named this. That team, uh, never won. Maybe people should stop naming themselves the Fire-Breathing Rubber Duckies?), got it? Let’s move on to Team 7.
Now, this team, I was completely befuddled. Like, absolutely confused. Like, extremely destroyed in logic.
You don’t think it’s me, do you? You really thought I was a jock or a popular kid?
Course I was. I’m really popular (may or may not be telling the truth).
Team 7’s captain was Caitlyn.
Of course it was. I really, really hope I’m not on her team. I really, really, really hope I’m not. Haha it didn’t matter if I was worried or not cause then I found out who the captain of Team 8 was
One of the coaches walked up to me as a few other captains got their I was given a sheet of paper that said ‘Team 8 - Captain: Alan Waylon’.
(haha i was telling the truth back at the popular thing)
Yeah, I knew a lot of people. From the Infection games that sometimes got everyone involved, to being in classes with lots of different people, to the soccer games I always played (more on this later), it all led up to my huge popularity. Okay, maybe some of that isn’t true. Maybe it all was.
Okay, whatever. I do good in the Fitness Gram (I do not wanna make a chapter about the Fitness Gram, everyone hates the Fitness Gram, and I was no different), and I’m smart and get asked for help in homework, so maybe the coaches know that.
I’m just saying random stuff now. What I actually was thinking was why me? I definitely wasn’t the 8th most popular kid in the cl- wait, I’m more popular than Caitlyn- I definitely wasn’ the 7th most popular kid in the cl- actually, maybe I was?
It sounds like I’m stalling
“Caitlyn! We’re on the same team!”
“I know!”
“And you’re captain!”
“I know!!”
“It’s not that exciting.”
“Shut up, Becky, no one cares.”
Anna and Caitlyn were jumping up and down at recess because apparently they’re on the same team.
“I- ugh, well, Caitlyn, just to let you know, my team is going to win this tournament.”
She put her hands on her hips. Anna laughed.
“Really?”
“Yes, my team is leagues better than yours.”
Some of that might not be true.
“Becky, my team is going to kick your ass.”
WHOA BIG WORDS
“Wh- I will too!”
That doesn’t make sense… never mind.
So my team was a pretty above average team. Some of the popular kids who didn’t make captain were on my team, and I even had like two friends on the team as well. Sure, maybe some other teams were better than mine (and because I was captain) which made me think we didn’t have the best of chances of winning, but even with my probably low chances I just had to kick Caitlyn’s… you know what I mean.
The first game against Team 1 was sadly uneventful. I play baseball and soccer (at least at the time of this story- I won’t talk much about the sports I play, but my dad enlisted me into two neighborhood teams so I’ve been playing sports for a while), so I knew where to put people and how to kick the ball and everything.
Er, I guess uneventful means boring to watch, because my team…
Destroyed theirs.
It’s weird, cause like, shouldn’t Team 1 be the best team? And Team 8 be the worst?
Whatever, I cared so much about our game that I even totally definitely absolutely remember the name of their team. It was… uh… a secret.
Since we won, we were moving to the semi-finals. We won the game, wow, so cool. I looked up at the tournament bracket. Reminder: I was Team 8. Team 8 was on the right side (and was now moving on to the semi-finals), and on the other side of the bracket was Team 7. But their Team’s placement on the bracket was the weird part. Weirder than my team advancing.
Supposedly Caitlyn’s team moved on, which surprised (horrified) me. Anyway, this meant that if I wanted to kick Caitlyn’s, uh, ass, I’d have to beat the next team. She would have to too. Probably won’t.
“You know, if you want to beat me in a Kickball game, you’re going to actually have to actually be good at the game.”
“Becky, I’m better than you.”
“Pfft- no, not at all. Don’t even try saying you’re better at two combined sports that I-”
“I don’t care, Becky.”
“I-”
“You better be ready. You’re going up next, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, so what?”
“Don’t mess up.”
“Shut up.”
My team destroyed the other team. We got like 15 points higher than them, when last game it was just like 6 points ahead. I guess my team is above decent. Just like with Caitlyn. Let’s check on how she did in her game?
…she won.
“See, Becky?”
“Whatever. You got lucky, just like with the first game.”
“Uh huh, sure, Becky.”
“So, we’re going against each other next game?”
“Yeah, if I were you, I wouldn’t even show up.”
“If I were you, I’d tell your whole team that they shouldn’t even think of trying.”
“If I were both of you, I’d stop flirting.”
“ANNA!”
We both yelled at Anna for the next minute until Caitlyn went to get her team ready for the game. The game that our team is about to have.
“So, Becky, do you wanna make another bet?”
“Ugh, what?”
“If you lose, you like Caitlyn.”
“That’s not true, so no. What would happen if I won?”
“Then you like Caitlyn.”
“That doesn’t even- how about, I make the bet?”
“Okay.”
“If I win, you have to… do what I want. If I lose… I’ll do what you want.”
“No, it’s just not right. I don’t like it. If Caitlyn loses, I’ll kill you.”
“That’s not-”
“Good, right? And if you lose, you like Caitlyn.”
“No-”
“I’m on her team, so I should get going. Don’t suck, Becky.”
“Eh- what- uh- okay?”
I don’t know if that actually was a bet made. I guess I’ll find out by the results of the game.
And the game was starting.
Alright. The moment was finally arriving. Team 8 vs Team 7. My team vs. Caitlyn’s. Who’ll win?
Me, of course. There’s no way she’ll win.
My team walked out onto the field. There was a team already there, in positions spread around on a field. It was Caitlyn’s, being the home team. My team lined up behind the backboard fence, being the visitor team, and the game started.
Caitlyn was holding the ball on the pitcher’s mound. She rolled it with a high velocity straight down towards home plate, and my teammate swung and missed. Strike.
Oh, I forgot to mention, the captain is the pitcher, or the one that rolls the ball over the plate for the other team to kick. So Caitlyn was pitching for her team, and I was for mine. I… probably should have mentioned that earlier.
Anyway, the next batter went up and struck out. Same disaster fell onto the third one. I batted last, customary for the captain… and same for Caitlyn. I probably don’t need to describe that Caitlyn and I do the same thing for every single thing in this Kickball tournament. Eh. Maybe I should continue annoying you.
The teams switched sides. I picked up the ball, and was warming up to roll the ball to home plate. But I wasn’t ready for what was next.
...you shouldnt be either
“You’re up first?”
“Yeah! C’mon, throw the ball!”
“I’m- ugh, fine.”
Anna was up first. Of course.
I rolled the ball as fast as I could, desperately trying to strike her out, and…
The ball soared into the air. Straight over the second baseman’s head and into the outfield. I watched as it flew behind me, and proceeded to carry out the 20 kickball plays I had prepared.
I… didn’t have any kickball plays prepared. There’s no such thing. So what happened was just a group of kids all running for the same ball, colliding, while Anna made it all the way to third base. Yikes. Not good.
The second batter was up. I knocked them out, easily. I looked over at Anna and stuck out my tongue. She can try to make it home, but she won’t. My superior pitching skills will outmast her… running… skills.
In kickball, to get someone out, you either have to strike them out or you can knock them out, which means hitting them with the ball by throwing it at them. Alright. Easy. Let’s get Anna out that way.
I rolled the ball to the third batter, who almost touched the ball. It was a very weak kick and it rolled straight towards me. I looked to my right. I caught Anna’s eye and she made a run for it. I got ready to scoop up the ball, and…
I fumbled. My hands slipped when trying to grab the ball and I was late to snagging an easy-out opportunity. When I finally managed to grab the ball, I looked up to see Ava was halfway between third and home. Not a lot of room to attack (or defend, in this case), but I can probably make this work.
Fully standing up, I got ready to throw the ball. I aimed (not really), and fired (threw the ball).
nyeoooooom straight into the fence
Yeah, so, it missed Anna. I didn’t get her out and she ran all the way to home. Sure, I probably would’ve had a higher chance of getting the other person out, but c’mon, wouldn’t it have been cool?
Anna made it home. That was enough to make me mad. But then she started laughing. Oh, no.
“Nice shot, Becky!”
Anna started up some smack talk. Now I’m madder.
“It hit you!”
“Not even close. Don’t even try, Becky.”
“Literally it-”
“Hey, Becky, don’t speak to my precious teammate like that. If you have a problem, talk to the team capt-oh, wait, that’s me.”
Caitlyn joined in. I didn’t know we were allowed to waste two minutes of game time. We literally have an audience (some of the knocked out teams were watching our game- the other people were probably on the playground or something)!
“Caitlyn, you’re so annoying. You don’t think I hit her?”
“Not even close, Becky.”
“You two just- ugh.”
“You were saying?”
“Nothing. I’m gonna beat you, Caitlyn.”
“No, you won’t.”
“Yeah I will.”
I got another out, and the inning ended. The next couple of innings weren’t nearly as eventful, since Caitlyn and I both batted last. Because of that, it would be a WHILE before anything interesting happened.
Well, that’s not true, my team scored a lot of points in the third inning. My team was now winning 4 - 1.
Eventually, our team got up to bat. I was batting second. Caitlyn must’ve known this, because she barely tried to pitch the ball for the first batter. I was thinking it was probably so she could save her energy to target me. Or she was just weak.
“Becky, you ready?”
“For what?”
“For this!”
I was standing there, expecting her to keep having this elegant conversation with me, but she proceeded to roll the ball at a lightning speed straight towards the plate. She fell over, presumably because it was her strongest throw, but looked up to see how it would play out.
I held my ground, and prepared my leg. I pulled it back, getting ready to shoot it forwards. As the ball approached, my leg shot off.
It flew straight forwards - straight to the pitcher’s mound. Caitlyn managed to hop up and got ready to catch it - but I didn’t have any time to see what would happen. I started dashing towards first base, expecting Caitlyn to screw up and drop it, or throw it and miss, allowing me a free extra base.
I think that was how the play turned out, actually!
‘Out!’
what
“Haha, Becky!”
Anna was playing first base, and she was laughing. She pointed behind me, and I spun around to face the pitcher’s mound.
Caitlyn was holding the ball in one hand. She had caught the ball.
“What happened?”
I was well aware of what happened. Just, uh, making sure. Yeah.
“I caught it, Becky.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You don’t… I caught it.”
“No, you didn’t. Are you sure?”
Ha. How does she like being annoyed out of her mind?
“Becky, are you sure your team is winning?”
“Yeah, look a the scoreboa-”
there isn’t a scoreboard.
“Hmm?”
“I mean, yeah, we are.”
“Prove it.”
“Everyone, we’re winning, right?”
A collection of yes’s were heard, which made me feel all smuggy or whatever the word is, but a loud no was shouted out as well. I turned around and Anna was the one who had said so. I made a confused face, thinking she was out of her mind (or she was driving me out of mine) for randomly screaming, but then the rest of HER team started to say no as well. I looked over at Caitlyn. She was laughing and smiling. She loved seeing me suffer.
“NO! We’re winning! By 4 points!”
“Becky, no one likes a sore loser.”
“There’s still the bottom of this inning! The game isn’t over!”
“Exactly! You might still win, Becky!”
“No!”
“I guess you don’t wanna win?”
“STOP”
I walked off the field. I was tired. I was annoyed. I was frustrated. I was unrealistically angered. I was freaking pissed. I was
Caitlyn was up now. Our teams had switched sides, with my team being the defenders. It was the last inning. I had already gotten two outs. I was a pretty astute pitcher, if I say so myself. But now here comes the final point in this game.
Get it?
“You better be ready for my curveball.”
“You can throw a curveball?”
“Uh, yeah.”
No, I can’t.
“It won’t matter, Becky, cause I’ll get a home run anyway.”
No, she won’t. The fence is too far to hit a home run. At least for kickball.
“Wouldn’t that be a grand slam?”
She had three people on the bases, one for each base. If she got home, that meant that she had gotten a Grand Slam, which was 4 points in one turn. The score was still 4 - 1. If she did get one, it would make her win the game. Remember, she’s the home team?
“Oh, maybe. Then I’ll get that!”
“Wow. Oh my g- HERE I COME!”
I dashed forwards without giving her a warning.
I threw the ball. It curved in a straight line. Meaning it didn’t curve at all, but who’s to say what a curve ball is or isn’t? She probably got thrown off by this, because she fumbled a bit. She still managed to kick the ball, and it went straight towards third base. I saw her start running, and I knew what I had to do. I needed to take the ball from the third baseman and throw it across the entire field to hit her. For climactic sakes.
Okay. Breath in, breath out. I ran to where the ball was going and picked it up. I overheard a lot of my teammates screaming at me to step on a base, but ignored them. I turned and saw Caitlyn running, about halfway to the first base.
I ran towards her, while preparing my throw. I need to calculate… I should statistically throw it around… there. Got it. Powering up, throwing, watching the ball soar, and it made contact.
How’d the game go, you might be asking? Did I actually hit her, or was I making it up?
Here you go: I was standing by myself during recess. Just like literally every other chapter. You see how this has become a staple of the story? I’ll tell you now - recess won’t be that huge in 3 years. Wait that’s a spoi-
Anna walked up to me. We were both standing up.
“Hey, Becky.”
“Hey, Anna. Huh? What’re you doing? Why’re you-”
waitNODONTKICKMEIN-
~neug$ha|noUAH;GONE//Hhane’oa?/msl52@122nalm,e&anocle$$ansla%na;;v{]wn2l2la}}}+nl1mlm..k2l@n#malml””6lmm%m3`m#m2;amskk”:*
ow. ow.
shit. yeah. shit.
“ow-wHAT THE F-”
I fell to the ground. Anna just kicked me in the crotch. Really hard.
“Sorry, Becky, I didn’t me-”
“LIKE HELL- mmmmmmmmm”
I stood up. I endured it. I walked away.
I started to cry.
I walked around the entire track.
Not sure if I ever explained this, but for the sidewalk, it loops around the entire field, making a running track. None of that matters.
I walked over to the wall of the school building. I was wearing a gray jacket, and I pulled the hood over my head and stuck my hands in my pocket. I leaned on the wall, raised a leg in an arc position, and I was in a true ‘emo position’. We eventually named it the ‘Sad Wall Lean’. I held this position for a long time, and the people around me were very amused by this. I looked like a true emo boy.
I did this Sad Wall Lean multiple times throughout the year (probably just because I was bored or so I could camouflage during a game of Infection), but this, this event if I can call it that, was the start to why I started to do it. If you ever see me leaning against a wall looking depressed, start laughing at me and I’ll know.
I started walking around again, trying to ease the pain, and Anna approached me.
“What do you want?”
“You’re still walking around?”
It had been about 20 minutes. I was walking around and sulking for at least 20 minutes.
“Yeah?”
“Did it… hurt that much?”
“Ugh, yes, Anna.”
By now, Jaidon had walked up, too. Caitlyn was with him and saw that I was ‘limping’, and also walked over.
“Anna, now he can’t have any more kids with Caitlyn!”
Funny.
“Shut up, what happened to him?”
I lied down on the ground. I was groaning and kept rolling back and forth on my back.
“I told him that if he beat our team I’d kill him.”
“Wow, Anna, you’re ruthless! Oh, shit, there’s an ice cream thing over there!”
Jaidon ran away to go buy a popsicle or whatever. And I was here thinking maybe he could sympathize with me, because he has a… well, you know.
“Yeah, honestly, maybe I deserved it.”
I managed to speak more than 4 words that time.
“I know some things he’s done that deserved that.”
I- what’s she talking about?
Is she?
Oh my god.
I think my memory is coming back.
Or at least I’m having some kind of realization.
Is Caitlyn still mad about the whole… ‘Go to hell’ thing of last year?
Does she… want me to apologize for that?
“Ugh, thanks, Anna, just, can you go away?”
She laughed and walked away. I guess this whole this is just a joke to her, huh?
“So, you’re pretty weak, huh, Becky?”
I- I- no!
“She’s in freaking dance, it was like she kicked my balls through my entire stomach and into my brain!”
“So I’m right?”
“No.”
“Mhmm, sure.”
Caitlyn and I were alone. Ooh. Well, not really. There wasn’t any ‘awkwardness’ or ‘tension’. Just a normal conversation.
“...wanna make a bet?”
“Becky, you really like making those, huh.”
“Yeah, yeah, shut up. If I win the tournament final, can you… do something for me?”
“...yeah?”
“Okay, bet.”
“If you lose, you’ll have to do something for me.”
“Okay.”
I’m not telling you what I wanted to do with h- I mean do to her. It’s a secret.
Oh, right, I should explain that ‘tournament final’ thing. After a team wins the tournament, they go against the coaches. Yeah. 5th graders play a game of kickball against a team of fully-grown adults. Who do you think wins?
SURPRISE The children never win. Never. In the 6 years I’d been at the elementary school, never have the 5th graders won. But this year, I’m going to change that. My team is going to
Lose. We lost. What’d you expect, a team full of weak, half-able barely grown humans to go against a ton of 40 year old gorilla men?
Probably should’a worded that differently. Eh. It’s fine.
So. No. No, we lost. And that means I would have to do what Caitlyn wanted me to do. Oh, great. We know how that went last year. Dang it, that means I wouldn’t get to ask Caitlyn to k- nothing, never mind.
“Great job, Becky. You lost.”
“Thanks, Caitlyn.”
“So… now it’s time for me to ask you to do something right?”
“Oh, great. What?”
“Becky, I want you to…”
Freaking kill myself? Yeah, I figured, you sadis-
“Apologize.”
“Huh?”
“I want you to apologize.”
“For… what?”
“You don’t remember? Then you’re an…
I think I know what she’s talking about, cause I just realized it like two minutes ago, but… I need some kind of trip down memory lane, if she could provide one.
“Asshole.”
Oh, that works.
“Wait, hold on. You mean what happened… Last year?”
She was silent. She looked furious.
“Oh… you do mean that. Uh. I guess… sorry…?”
“Excuse me?”
“Sorry.”
“What’re you sorry for?”
“I- uh- mmmm. Can I…”
“Can what?”
“Can I think about this?”
Think about what?”
“Think about what?”
“I don’t know, I just… this is all too fast. Can I, like, think about how I want to apologize?”
“I- are you serious?”
“I am, I… I wanted to apologize to you. Really. But I wanted to do it at a better time than… this.”
My teammates were crying, wallowing, shrinking and lying down on the ground. I was pointing at some of them.
She kinda laughed.
“Fine, Becky, but you better apologize to me.”
“I- uh, I will, Caitlyn.”
She walked off.
That was… weird. I thought she’d, you know, ask me to be her cat or something like that. That was a little weird. I mean, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I only recently found out what she’s been so mad about, and now I have to apologize for it? That’s dumb! Er, I guess it isn’t. Maybe I’m the du- no, I’m not.
I gotta figure this out.
How do I apologize to her?
This is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life, which is saying a lot. Just thinking about how I want to apologize to her?
It’s gonna take me forever to come up with something to solve this!
Argh, and school’s almost over! I don’t have that much time to think, there’s the 5th grade musical performance coming up soon! I don’t- oh, shoot, should I have not spoiled that?
I don’t care, I’m thinking too hard to think about this! ARGH HOW DO I APOLOGIZE TO CAITLYN125Please respect copyright.PENANAntNA5nYmTE