惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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我不是那種「一般」的孩子379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U3qFgWAQH
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRITwC6axRZ
但特殊得來，又不叫人驕傲的特別379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdYnnk989H
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童年、成長、至今，我深知自己和其他人的不同，正因如此，我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
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不是我害怕379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDSpdngzoN
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGzoKvU1us
是害怕自身
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379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUTTq8Jt14
世界很奇怪，只是不一樣的，所謂之「特別」，往往引人恐懼，危險的出現379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ133O9XJVSG
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FM8Mt1KxP
因為不同，意味改變379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcz044wvtXt
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJhfQvVYBT
縱然沒人希望遇上困難，但又想克服，就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgnruXoYSI
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPBbDTwRPj
卻現實中，是沒有可能發生此種事，萬物不由己生，正如沒有不勞而獲，其之獲的勞，純粹不是由自己付出而已379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EZqdKbyfC
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzcUteUyqh
這道理379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjVRCLeEWf
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGt56PexXK
我是明白的379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8t9Bhicpn
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgupl86etbz
但又現實中，我做不了什麼，我無法展現自己在這方面的認知379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUB9sklMcQ
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyYj68FIjZ
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE86A9AVMrw
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNre6dcCV3Y
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8E3eUJSGAx
—— 啪喇 ——379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10idWZoNFU
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeb8O00aELM
「廢物！」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITuM26KzYm
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎？！」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHYHKnvRDb
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJIkz5bCHq
見玻璃零碎散落，深紅沾在純黑的地毯，清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發，暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地，儘管而言並非直對此方，隱約可見利片刺中了自己379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh5cZlEGVV
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7vzrzyU1I
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了，作反了哦？！」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDE2VeL3jM
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦？！」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj97d2s4GaX
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuiQ0UJEdH
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名？」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1LJNPsgI0
「該死⋯」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1igfUCB3X2
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使力擦著額，短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子，「咻」一聲扯開櫃門，反手便伸入其中，撥開文具，翻走書本，往當中內最深處伸去379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVfkPKoqvk
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamm4sovOhs
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞，還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門，女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCirrwcDMqg
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0Y28nZ1Nb
象牙製煙斗
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勾在嘴裏，同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒，像口紅的造型，倒是金屬製，畢竟說到底才非打份用379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mBsEzr89f
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvaEE8jU1V
熟練地扭開蓋鎖，拇指彈上開蓋，倒轉在煙斗的填裝位，一滴379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoSVsF65Sl
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBfPYlrg09
「⋯呼⋯⋯」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ652YFqnVY6
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGUbrq0uUq
雜草味，燒靑草的氣味，少許攻鼻，但並不濃，再者也未到刺激的程度，單純是蠻有葉綠味而已，連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在，室內散佈最強烈的，唯有植物的味道
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379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi62mDfaq6L
背對自己，她抽著煙斗，看往窗外
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379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUICKvwALM
不是特別高樓層，當然整座大廈也是己業前提，地方必是自己選址選樓層
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379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4j65hX04hv
若是較高的位置，是可以看到海景，朝向東邊的海藍天，以及遠方一帶沿海的密集，高樓大廈又有，不起眼的小方塊亦有，熊本縣的各沿海城市，整個一起，掃望而入眼內379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkxp7n42Gj
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtN0dQ0k1t
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ43yrIT3GA
但她不同，她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人，自己所想的奇怪，然而又有其論點，要說的話，就是她擁有著不同自己，過於複雜而與別不同的想法379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tLzofJbzk
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdps6KTi1sE
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9l6ZMev7Wp
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDodU8Jl3WM
作風不一，思考的模式不一樣
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379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjr8Jb8cpu
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面，而是這兒，這層，剛好不高於窗戶所面向，商店街的頂蓋，的一層
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3ttPPcc3g
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIVSdGOB8a
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口，各種
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiPFqJ6eOn
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonVPeAZU3E
因為她要真正的「全景」
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYKMmNKoZC
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeANzNTDHqX
我真的搞不清楚，嘛，無法理解
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379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW2vvVI8Gc
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
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379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8R5zuz2QG6
我知道，我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了，不但引起了刑警的注意，還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動，現在回望，嘛，還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACBs3PBV0y
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugdcqCJ7Zc
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhT1KvqbUn
抑或說，是我一直以來，低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCSS0MGUZ5
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZZp317FBe
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Y6vbMpAcP
山松組的力量379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLhHYu5nH8
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapFmsjqrxA
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀？混帳⋯」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaONrZbVB0
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQMkZHlcCC
回神過來，她已經坐了在那辦工椅上，左腳放右腳膝頭，口中濃吐淡煙，即使口氣稍安定，放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0eiffWLTd
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANWm9FbiiN
她是我的姐姐379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0J3Rq1BmGo
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHSUBLWfEz
山松組的老大379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxJ57x6vva
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcGa97Y1YS
大和英加379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfaXKIDVQT
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbv4b6E9TV
「說話啊」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlSeTtucEZ
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1O5rCmduX
央百花379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsIVWd8jvp
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXh7Lgi8LO6
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOuObLRGjk
我努力地站在原處，就這樣一聲不吭，但是視線一交上，就看不了更多，看不到，尋找不到視線可聚落之處，可是呢，她可還生氣著，直對自己379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfSOKKEVLN
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkz8NvkAjX2
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolkwhXcMAb
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzwzQfu16s
「就讓我倆在這，一直⋯一直在這」
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmN02Qtzya
「在這一起浪費時間，反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVJXCPMRrJ
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqzSlzGi4L
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaw4xZb2Gbl
「⋯⋯」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5nprWegpV
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZf6gRsmLw
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出，曾有再多的話，希望反駁、說理，又說不出，不在她面前379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjfxCt9OoF
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLVBns3pmg
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSNUITAt7w
我不只是害怕，畢竟目前為止，一生中最敬重，亦最不喜歡的，也是她，我的姐姐379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Nr0fxnzMm
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4M9BgAQkcA
她為我做了很多，太多，甚至我了解，自己所認知的，只是整幅拼圖的一小塊379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlMsCfhEB3
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTa7qOHBI7U
理應我該做好自己就好了，對她來說是最好了379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWYaOye6Gq
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0Bj0w0h4m
所以說，我到底做了什麼？379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNlPGD6xZC
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36FVGjOGeE
我在反叛嗎？可能379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRm39Nyvcf1
為了什麼？
為了什麼⋯？
成為些什麼的身分？
為了她的認同？
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgz0yfbae6
讓困難自己解決379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIvO3owhSC
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyv4B0bP9gm
但困難就是自己379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RNKQN3sLj
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyT00ndEy8
所以才裝模作樣，卻又成了反效果，或是說，我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情，而衝進去做379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4r5ionyQS
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvK19TodV98
我做事沒腦根、理性，是後來的事情，日益嚴重，動不動就動氣，感性行事，這樣子便不用想了，不用想太多了379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9wO6rKXVS
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不用去想更多平時的負面了379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmX9eyAOxoA
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqSEcOFy16
單憑感覺行事379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNYA69MW0Q
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這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法，自己的得失，將來的後果，麻煩的各種379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDwcfmgEkj
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmSULrHPSN
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdz4H435IyP
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wDEYWoRzG
確實地問我，是不是很想孤立自己？379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWeZws8yYn
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別開玩笑379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UBOs694Av
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但我有選擇嗎？379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2dpr5m65e
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注定無法「正常」地生活的我，注定混混噩噩過日子的自己，大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧？379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsW2CMlAt63
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不過單是自己也是379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhvBcY7TN3
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我不想這樣子379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UX8kpUHtw
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLamPC4fSww
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我不希望這樣子的「特別」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvlMEEmy1b
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ27CCoLbcZ
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdEqqcP9Uk
但對自己來說，所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天，也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎？
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxx06ni8c9
當初的命運已經被注定，因為自己是大和氏，因為和那混帳有關係，因為⋯因為379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdEjnXJAaf
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我根本沒有能力去保護自己379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlgZzdbyMD
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沒有能力379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJqVZuxlIg
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一直以來也是379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcNyKFN5oW
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我⋯⋯379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNxiPVj2Qk
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我379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeU0ZCeJbz
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我根本沒有選擇379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZpfLNtjoB
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現在的話，選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaX0Lw32Te
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算啦⋯379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3hgQIFbSI
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7r9E2PLs5
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定，一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
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「⋯」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduDBj57jXO
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379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ332QzXeTm4
怎也沒所謂了379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSKTRukSqQ
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbI78qGEAq
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVv6wTMsrk
「⋯算了」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvufIoKpLmA
「我要出去食晚飯了」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOdl9a9bpU
「你打算怎樣子呢」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4APutWDkI
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZGy3lGwKC
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0Dn3Wxbq8
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavBP9EIV25
「⋯⋯嗯」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDB62GUAne
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynenI5o0z2
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rj4gAXRbZ
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcQKW1o02e
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0GWfkvRBy
沒所謂了379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtFknCTqbX
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZPGCPx54h
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMs7Du11zkp
「⋯⋯」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Fyg4CfeJG
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLi7H90DDE
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYWaAUlcgt
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hgHDmwg5p
反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWh2PemfM3
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcF0dPGTcVP
反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZutfiAwu6
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztCF4OsiN9
反正379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiq1Hj7K03
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOskJyusGw
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJopgrgxf8a
「⋯」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYo0DVA6R4
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U8sUG00q5
「笨蛋」379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWUX7W4Aae
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNp2hpefCP
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