Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.516Please respect copyright.PENANAmPm7L5H4e6
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.516Please respect copyright.PENANAE4ok3sY5P7
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.516Please respect copyright.PENANATi0RwqcPez
516Please respect copyright.PENANAP5IbJW5yPf
“I love you,” he said.516Please respect copyright.PENANAmPgiulpJJW
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”516Please respect copyright.PENANAvonaLix9KF
516Please respect copyright.PENANAJNiVtXtHKa
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.516Please respect copyright.PENANA9N7ArcsF0Q
516Please respect copyright.PENANAu1cPftxqvR
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”516Please respect copyright.PENANAoTyKrwT1Wb
516Please respect copyright.PENANAdjMefMY6HS
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.516Please respect copyright.PENANAh0jFm24L8Y
516Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5OHMYIeL6
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”516Please respect copyright.PENANAvg7dUdb19e
516Please respect copyright.PENANA3lANYTiZlZ
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.516Please respect copyright.PENANAY1LfPSmQAR
516Please respect copyright.PENANAhAAFAQHBHB
She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”516Please respect copyright.PENANAVxdp3KvyBL
516Please respect copyright.PENANAxYCbd5X13Q
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.516Please respect copyright.PENANAMl1feeN2ev
516Please respect copyright.PENANA2W8HkVDCh7
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.516Please respect copyright.PENANAHFtZ1neRQu
516Please respect copyright.PENANAwno60jeNqU
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.516Please respect copyright.PENANAYfUBW4uRXh
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She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”516Please respect copyright.PENANAnUliuWKCdw
516Please respect copyright.PENANA4Elgt1n7Za
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.516Please respect copyright.PENANA0xWAj8qZ4A
516Please respect copyright.PENANADvckOeq98q
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.516Please respect copyright.PENANA3UXa4JD8uX
516Please respect copyright.PENANAgEq7Jf136M
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.516Please respect copyright.PENANAPfboVD4TMj
516Please respect copyright.PENANAaMncYGwPk0
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.516Please respect copyright.PENANAhWEfHjd9xw
516Please respect copyright.PENANAqEdxCUw08h
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.516Please respect copyright.PENANAMf0Hfd8sVg
516Please respect copyright.PENANARTbcCPAK9N
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.516Please respect copyright.PENANAE3CKBI6Nzx
516Please respect copyright.PENANA7RxKkYVYmo
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.516Please respect copyright.PENANAvsx1NXebew
516Please respect copyright.PENANAeNyGxvuXbW
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.516Please respect copyright.PENANA21xfps8XxP
516Please respect copyright.PENANAivG0Xl7DYu
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.516Please respect copyright.PENANAZtHXxacRlE
516Please respect copyright.PENANAPGBcsASaH7
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.516Please respect copyright.PENANA9IpDMESZsp
516Please respect copyright.PENANA1Tz7U0ws4U
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”516Please respect copyright.PENANArdXkYm1DHF
516Please respect copyright.PENANAiUTxC1gB6x
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.516Please respect copyright.PENANANoqCztRi5L
516Please respect copyright.PENANAykV9Ea5bkd
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.516Please respect copyright.PENANANapTWACKfC
516Please respect copyright.PENANAfnfBRU9kuQ
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.516Please respect copyright.PENANAN2ykiIlLOr
516Please respect copyright.PENANAg2V3HXkKSR
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.516Please respect copyright.PENANAUIiRUwMc1r
516Please respect copyright.PENANAv4ScBYlP3E
“Oh, Master’s then?” 516Please respect copyright.PENANAOV2uYuALDu
516Please respect copyright.PENANAezQ5zKxjiT
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.516Please respect copyright.PENANAcnTncSsU1h
516Please respect copyright.PENANAhITAlP7UXt
“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”516Please respect copyright.PENANAO4vpsdgOIR
516Please respect copyright.PENANAkz43hHu1hs
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.516Please respect copyright.PENANAttAL7bMN3o
516Please respect copyright.PENANAU7UdzZt1F8
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”516Please respect copyright.PENANAMeBQykceyp
516Please respect copyright.PENANABVoD0Jx8if
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.516Please respect copyright.PENANAuwk9uxXnZJ
516Please respect copyright.PENANAtgC4qQo7bN
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 516Please respect copyright.PENANAhJ5EGujMQd
516Please respect copyright.PENANAGzyB8knXlZ
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 516Please respect copyright.PENANAo95UR37j52
516Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5kab6CDlp
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.516Please respect copyright.PENANAMR5CkAOlT2
516Please respect copyright.PENANABoJxKMDkXA
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.516Please respect copyright.PENANA9OayEqD4gs
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It isn’t possible.516Please respect copyright.PENANAmcMbAja7Bh
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.516Please respect copyright.PENANArEJUZ8pSMt
516Please respect copyright.PENANAsvkgpfXmZb
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.516Please respect copyright.PENANACRbsuxIwQK
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Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.516Please respect copyright.PENANALhx6trSYem
516Please respect copyright.PENANA8KifplpYsJ
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.516Please respect copyright.PENANANdsqd8ePkL
516Please respect copyright.PENANAK4NyC3MpDi
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.516Please respect copyright.PENANAQVzTW5vEdA
516Please respect copyright.PENANAVekxNddLiy
Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.516Please respect copyright.PENANAkqDki1728t
516Please respect copyright.PENANANoURlIj0gn
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”516Please respect copyright.PENANAR8GoF0EDYU
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“Like what?” he said.516Please respect copyright.PENANAESuvOL9Y7c
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.516Please respect copyright.PENANAEWV2Cfv66D
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”516Please respect copyright.PENANAxx0ttNjxaL
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“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”516Please respect copyright.PENANA8Lrh0Cx4Q6
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Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.516Please respect copyright.PENANANajOgfKK5m
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“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.516Please respect copyright.PENANArIHFi59J0d
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Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.516Please respect copyright.PENANA4LyhSamIEJ
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“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”516Please respect copyright.PENANATmhmBYggZU
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This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.516Please respect copyright.PENANAti2nXsFAnK
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Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.516Please respect copyright.PENANAiYyFv70Tot
516Please respect copyright.PENANAI1MVJ8nTbA
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.516Please respect copyright.PENANAsDUqdomQaE
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“Who are you?” she murmurs.516Please respect copyright.PENANA06ssE5EAge
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He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”516Please respect copyright.PENANAaQTx5tzC6n
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“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.516Please respect copyright.PENANAQEx6ciX512
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“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”516Please respect copyright.PENANAP0cWoyQMsl
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He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.516Please respect copyright.PENANAed29MKO5N0
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“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.516Please respect copyright.PENANAj5Xrgagy1b
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He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.516Please respect copyright.PENANADjoUfriIhg