Late in the morning, Tamyn went to see Kazia. She hadn't resumed work yet, so he found her in her apartment, still having breakfast. When she opened the door to him, she smiled lightly, but then gave him a sharp look and her smile widened into a beatific grin.
“I'm sorry to disturb your breakfast, Lady Kazia,” he said hesitantly. I can come back later.”
“No, no,” she said, still smiling widely. “Please sit, and have some tea.”
As he poured a cup for himself, Kazia sat staring at him with a strangely joyous expression.
“Lady Kazia, was there something you wanted to talk about?” he asked, returning her smile.
She coughed lightly and pursed her lips together, dropping her gaze.
“No,” she said. “It's nothing, nothing. How can I help you?”
“Mistress Amelys will be coming to speak to you as well, but I thought we should talk privately first.” He took a bracing deep breath. “Abrizhen wants to defect. I intend to petition the Queen on his behalf, and I'm hoping to enlist your help as well.”
“That is not what I expected you to say,” Kazia said, taken aback. She looked closely at him. “You've spoken with him then?”
“Last night... he requested a meeting.” Tamyn glanced at her shyly. “With me.”
“And it went well?” she asked, smiling again. “Clearly.”
“Lady Kazia, you seem to have already known... How do you know? Abrizhen told me...”
“What did he say?” Kazia asked. She stopped smiling and seemed a bit panicked.
Tamyn sighed heavily. “He said that you are a witch, and that you know things somehow. But he was very drunk that time.”
“That-” Kazia said crossly, but she then laughed bitterly. “Well, I am not a witch,” she asserted. She looked at him with dire seriousness. “Tamyn, can I confide a secret and rely on your discretion?”
“Of course,” he answered. “Just as I know I have yours.”
Kazia folded her arms around herself in a protective gesture and breathed deeply.
“I am an Empath.”
It was Tamyn's turn to be shocked.
“That is not what I expected you to say,” he echoed her. “But-” he looked at her with a sense of curious scrutiny. “There are no more Empaths. No one has heard of one in ages.”
Kazia shrugged. “My mother was the only other one I've known. As far as I know I may be the last, or there may others hiding their natures as I do. I would know right away if I met another, but I never have.”
Tamyn looked at her in silence for a long moment. As incredible as this revelation was, it made sense, and explained some of the mysteries surrounding Kazia.
“Do you mind if I ask,” he asked tentatively, “what is that like? I guess this is your condition? Why you seclude yourself?”
Kazia nodded. “It can become very unpleasant very easily. Most of the time, it's just like any other sense, or just another layer of communication, like your tone of voice. But when I'm around too many people, or even one person having very strong emotions, it can become like someone screaming in your ear. It's painful, and makes me ill.”
“But the medication that you take helps it? I'm sorry I'm so curious. Mistress Amelys makes that for you, so she must know all about this?”
“She and Madame Brandra are the only ones here who know,” Kazia answered. “Tamyn, you don't seem... most people are very uncomfortable with me when they learn of this.”
“Well...” Tamyn said, thinking for a moment of how to be tactful. Then realizing that she could tell whatever he felt anyway, he smiled ruefully. “It is unusual. I'll admit that I'm a bit embarrassed at what you must know. But I don't think any ill of you. It's really a bit fascinating. Not that I mean to examine you like some sort of...”
He blushed, then fell silent as he saw Kazia's expression withdraw and become unsettled.
“It's alright,” she said quietly. “I'm glad you're not afraid of me.”
“The Queen doesn't know?” he asked.
Kazia shook her head. “I will have to tell her soon, I know. Especially... Tamyn, I tell you this now because while I can feel that you are happy to be reunited with Abrizhen, I can also tell that you're skeptical, that you doubt him.”
“No, I...”
“It's alright. You should. He can be very unpredictable. Only because Gorvan's hold on him is... it muddles his mind.”
Tamyn looked at her sadly. “I know,” he whispered.
“You probably know better than I do,” she said. “The truth is that I never really got to spend much time with Abrizhen, to know him well. But I know Gorvan's methods, and what they do to a person. I can see it in him.”
“Kazia,” Tamyn spoke softly. “I'm aware of how Zhen has been treated.” He hesitated. “Was it the same for you?”
Kazia's expression darkened, and her eyes began to tear.
“No,” Tamyn said hurriedly. “You needn't answer. I'm sorry.”
“If you have doubts about his motives,” she continued, “I can help. If I can speak with him, I'll know.”
“That seems...”
“Intrusive,” Kazia said, nodding. “Indecorous. He would of course know exactly what was happening, so it at least wouldn't be dishonest. But if the Queen is to grant him shelter, she'll want assurances.”
“Kazia, did you plan this?” Tamyn asked. “When you mentioned me to him, you would already have known my feelings. Is this why you did it?”
Kazia looked at him evenly. “To say 'planned' is giving me too much credit. I saw an opportunity and gambled on it. And only for his good, Tamyn, please believe me.” She smiled bitterly. “I would never like to feel that I was using anyone. But if I can get him out of there, I have to, by any means. I love him, Tamyn. I think that we are in agreement.”
“Yes,” he said quietly.
“I apologize for the turn this has taken,” Kazia said. “When you came in, you were just... radiant.” She smiled. “You were like a sunrise. I've spoiled it.”
“This was never going to be an easy conversation,” he assured her.
He stood then and approached the fireplace in Kazia's sitting room to look at the objects on the mantel.
“He loves you too, you know,” he said over his shoulder. He took the pencil drawing of the horse farm in his hands and turned around.
Kazia had turned in her chair, and now looked at him with her face alight in surprise.
“You drew that!” she exclaimed.
He examined the drawing closely, smiling. “A requested gift for you,” he said happily.
“I always thought he had done it,” she said. “He didn't say that, but he had a number of drawings hung in his room at the Manor, and I always just thought he'd done them. I didn't know where else they would have come from.”
“He kept them all?”
“Will you tell me...?" she asked hesitantly.
“Yes?”
“You were together, yes, I haven't misunderstood that?”
“Five years.”
“That long?” Kazia exclaimed.
“Six if you count that first year of skirting around it.”
He replaced the drawing on the mantel and returned to the table.
“What was he like back then?” she asked with a curious smile. “How did you meet? He was so rarely at home. When he was home, he was always so good to me until... until something changed and then he wasn't.”
Tamyn smiled and took a deep breath before speaking, and Kazia refilled their tea cups as he began.
“He and I entered the University in the same year, both eighteen, and we were in a literature course together. He was very attractive, so of course I noticed him, but I was even more shy then than I still am, and didn't make friends easily, and he always had a flock of girls following him around-”
“Yes, the same was true at home,” Kazia laughed.
“So many girls that people called him 'The Rooster.'”
“Thats-”
“Crude, yes. Young people are crude.”
“I've noticed,” Kazia said, remembering the students at the University lectures she'd attended.
“And so I thought, even if it weren't for all the girls, he would never look at me anyway, and I gave it no more thought than a distant admiration.”
“Oh...” Kazia said sympathetically.
“Our literature professor would ask us to pair up with reading partners for some assignments,” he continued, “and of course one of the girls would always snag Zhen right away, and I'd always end up with whoever else was left at the end. But there was another boy in our class who was gaining a reputation as a bully. He liked to prank people in often cruel ways. I don't know how I attracted his attention, but he began to target me regularly. One day our professor handed down a new assignment, and when he instructed us to pair up, that boy shouted my name across the lecture hall and began walking toward me with this chilling grin on his face, and as he passed by, Zhen put his foot out and tripped him.”
“Oh, dear!” Kazia said.
“The boy sprawled on the ground cursing, and Zhen just ignored him and walked around him to me, and asked me to partner with him. The first time we met to study, he said that we should partner permanently, so that if anything like that happened again I'd have an excuse.”
“And did the bully leave you alone after that?”
“No, he doubled down until, two weeks later, Zhen beat him senseless, which he was almost expelled for.”
“Oh, no!”
“That's what he was like then,” Tamyn said with a wistful sigh. “He carried a deeply hidden anger, and could be quite bellicose, but he only ever unleashed it on those who truly deserved it, like that miscreant. He would always step in if he saw a man harassing a woman, or an upperclassman picking on younger students. He hated to see anyone being mistreated.”
Kazia was quiet for a moment, but then asked, “So, you were together then?”
Tamyn shook his head. “That took longer, almost to the end of that first year.” He became very thoughtful. “When you are like us... you have to be careful. Most people in our glorious Five Nations are accepting and even welcoming of differences, but everyone isn't. Sometimes men can be very insecure in their identities, and that can make them dangerous. They can become violent if they feel they've been insulted. So if you like someone, you have to tread cautiously, feel them out slowly. You want to be sure of them before you confess anything. It can take some time. Back then, I was far too timid to even try it.
“So, we were just study partners for a long time, but I really liked him, and I was a flustered wreck around him all the time, clumsy and dropping things, and I was sure that he must think me the most ridiculous character. Until one night, we were studying in his dorm room. There were four to a room, so being alone was impossible, but somehow that night all of his roommates were out. He was reading a poem aloud, and I was taking notes as he read. It was a love poem, and some of the imagery was quite...” Tamyn blushed and coughed slightly. “I'm sorry, I've just realized I'm talking about your brother.”
“No, no, it's fine,” Kazia said with a delighted laugh, her face beaming. “It's quite thrilling. Please, go on!”
Tamyn found her smile infectious, and returned it although he was blushing deeply now.
“As I listened to his voice saying these things, my heart just went into absolute panic, and I broke my pencil pressing it to the page so hard. Then, without once looking away from the book, he handed me a fresh pencil and very casually said, 'You needn't be so nervous. I like you too.'”
“Ah!” Kazia exclaimed, clapping both hands over her mouth.
“And in the next breath he started talking about the author's homeland and its impact on the imagery, or something, I really don't remember what. My brain froze. We just continued studying, somehow, and I was starting to think I'd misheard him, but then just as I was leaving, he kissed me. Then we were together, for the rest of our University years.”
Tamyn's voice died off, and his face fell.
“I don't understand,” Kazia said sadly. “You clearly love him so much. I don't understand how he could just walk away from that.”
“Those last two years were difficult,” Tamyn said. “We'd both stayed on to do a post-graduate, but your father was opposed to it and wanted him to go home. He put some pressure on Zhen, restricting his money, among other things. The summer after that first year of post-grad, he went home and was gone longer than he said he'd be. When he came back, he'd been injured. He wouldn't let me see it, or tell me what happened. He wouldn't talk to me much at all.”
Kazia's face was stricken with a horrified expression, but Tamyn continued in a rush.
“Except that he started to talk a lot about the responsibilities of leaders, and his obligations to his people. Reminding me constantly that he was the Prince Heir of Devratha. He became sullen and irritable. His temper would flare up out of nowhere.”
“He didn't hurt you?”
“No. Never. But halfway through that last year he started making excuses to avoid me. When we would have a rare night together, he would seem angry with himself afterward, and I wouldn't see him again for some time. Then at the end of the year, he told me that he had to go home, and that I should find someone who could give me a life. Then he just disappeared. I don't even know if he attended our graduation ceremony. I didn't see him there. He was just gone.”
Kazia's head was lowered, her face pale and alarmed, but her eyes darted around as if she were trying to remember something.
“Kazia, are you alright?” Tamyn asked. “Am I too morose?”
“I think I know what happened,” she said quietly. “That summer.” She was silent for a long moment. “Gorvan was...” her lips trembled and her eyes were gathering tears “...training me,” she said harshly. “I suppose you know...”
“I do,” Tamyn said softly.
“Zhenzhi came in and he threw himself between us, covering me. Gorvan just kept... it was so bad...”
Her tears were flowing freely now and her breath caught in a choking gasp.
“He was unconscious, and there was so much blood. He was in bed for weeks.” She looked up at Tamyn, her face twisted in anguish.
“It was my fault,” she whispered.
“No!” he said. “No, please don't think that.” He reached a hand toward her, but she jumped back.
“Don't-” she said hurriedly, but gave him a weak smile. “Touching is... not good.”
“Oh...” he said, retracting his hand and nodding. His own eyes were glistening now as well. “He said something last night. He summoned me to ask after you in the first place. He knew that you were in the University. He was afraid that you were dead.”
Kazia's eyes widened.
“He told me last night that he had given everything up for you. Kazia, I think he went home to protect you.”
Kazia shook her head. “But he didn't,” she said. “He became Gorvan's lap dog and went along with everything.”
“I think... he thought that he could. But your father just overpowered him. Those first years that we were together, he was always so confident, and sure of himself, but I always suspected that he was just testing his freedom, wearing a mask of youthful bravado. In time I learned how fragile that mask really was. Seeing how he is now... he's just broken.”
Kazia nodded. “That is Gorvan's method. He wants to dismantle you so that he can rebuild you into what he wants you to be. I've spent these past years trying to rebuild myself into what I want to be. I want the same opportunity for Zhenzhi. It seems that Gorvan hasn't completely pushed him into his own mold yet. But if he doesn't find another way, he'll just be broken and then left like that.”
“I won't let that happen,” Tamyn said firmly. “We'll get him out.”
Kazia smiled and nodded resolutely.
“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “Tamyn, thank you for loving him. Thank you.” Her tears were coming again.
Tamyn smiled and began to reach a hand to her before remembering himself and drawing it back again.
“Well, I hope you don't mind me saying," he said briskly, picking up the teapot to refill their cups, "but I'm beginning to love you, too.”
Kazia laughed through a sob. “How could I ever mind that?”60Please respect copyright.PENANAXXHoAM7oZY
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