Jane sat in her childhood bedroom staring into the eyes of her stuffed golden retriever, which was placed on top of her dresser. She sat on her made, twin-sized, childhood bed, decorated with pink sheets, a pink Disney princess comforter, and a matching pink pillowcase with Princess Jasmine on the top, and Ariel on the bottom (the pillowcase was actually reversible, so it could've been Snow White and Cinderella).
Jane jumped when the door to her old room opened.
"Ope. Didn't mean to scare you, sweetie." Her mom laughed.
"Why didn't you knock?" Jane asked.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I needed to knock on every door in my own house now." Jane's mom said.
"Why does my room look like this, Mom?"
"Oh, I need to ask your opinion on my decorating choices too? Okay. Hold on." Jane's mom left the room, leaving the door open.
"No- Mom!" she shouted, but Jane's mom already had a plan in motion. A few seconds went by before Jane's mom re-entered the room, this time not staying at the door, but walking in and placing a crown on Jane's head.
"If you were just wearing your crown, I would've known you were the queen of the fucking castle."
"I think queens wear tiaras, Mom." Jane said taking the crown off her head.
"Well, you would know."
"Where did you get this?" Jane asked lifting the tiara up.
"I also have to tell you my purchase history? Am I being audited?"
"Fine. Don't tell me." Jane said, "I don't care. It's just weird that you redecorated my room as if a child lived here."
"A child did live here."
"Yup, but then a teenager did, and then a grown woman for a short period of time."
"You'll always be my baby." Jane's mom countered.
"What do you want, Mom?"
"What is with all your hostility?" Jane's mom asked, "Can a mom not just want to have a conversation with her daughter she hasn't seen for 4 years."
"You saw me every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Summer."
"I just wanted to let you know, that your little friend, Harry is in town."
"Harry Belson? I don't think he ever left."
"Did you think about maybe going to say hi to him at all? I'm sure he would appreciate it."
"Why would he care?" Jane questioned.
"Because he's your friend." Jane's mom quickly answered.
"I mean, he was my friend." Jane started, "I haven't really talked to him since I left for college."
"Alright. Well if you change your mind he has an ad in the paper." Jane's mom started to leave the room.
"Alright." Jane said before what her mom said really sank in "What?"
Jane's mom stopped in the doorway and turned around "He has an ad in the paper."
"Why would Harry need an ad in the paper?"
"You don't have any clues?" Jane's mom said before giggling.
"What's so funny?" Jane said.
"If you knew what he was in the paper for you would be laughing too."
"If I knew what he was in the paper for we wouldn't be having this conversation."
Jane's mom frowned "I guess not."
The two just looked at each other, Mother continuing to frown, while daughter looked almost expressionless, almost annoyed, almost bitchy.
"You gonna tell me what he has an ad in the paper for?" Jane finally asked.
"Why don't you just come look?"
Jane rolled her eyes and followed her mother into the living room.
"Here it is!" Jane's mom excitedly pointed to a framed newspaper clipping roughly the size of a credit card.
"Why did you frame this?" Jane asked.
"We were just so proud of your little friend."
"Why do you keep calling him little? He is larger than me, both in height, and width." Jane stated, prompting her mother to knock her on the back of her head "What the fuck was that for?!"
"He has really slimmed down quite a bit since you last saw him."
"Alright." Jane said, even more annoyed.
"You would know that if you bothered to talk to him."
"Alright."
"I think he lost like 60 pounds in the last 4 years."
"Alright."
"I'm not positive about that though. Frank!" Jane's mom shrieked "Frank!"
"Yes, my dear?" Frank responded at least 3 rooms away.
"How much weight has Harry lost!?" She shouted back.
"Who?"
"Mom! I get it!" Jane interrupted, "Can you please just fucking drop it now?"
"I'm just trying to say you should go see him. Or at the very least you should call him. You two went together like two peas in a pod. Plus he was a very nice boy."
Jane took a look at the newspaper advertisement "He's an escort? You're proud of the escort?"
"Not exactly."
"Is that why he lost all the weight? No one wanted a chunky whore?"
Jane's mom slapped the back of her head again "Knock it off! What a horrible word whore is. Don't say that again."
" Alright! 'The escort'" Jane finger-quoted "Why are you defending him so relentlessly anyway? You know I'm you're offspring, right? Not him?"
"You're being mean to your friend for no reason. I would hit him too if he were here making off-color remarks about you."
"He couldn't."
Jane's mom gave her a dirty look, "Oh yeah, I'm sure the friend that you all but abandoned for 4 years has nothing negative to say about you."
"Alright." Jane took her phone out of her pocket and took a picture of the framed ad "Now I have his office address, and I have his phone number. I will go visit him if you leave me alone."
"Done."
Harry sat in his old as-shit spinning office chair, sitting across from a weeping woman.
"I just know he's cheating on me!" She screamed.
"Alright." Harry began looking around on his desk, in his desk, around his office, until he finally found a box of tissues sitting directly in front of him "Calm down." He said handing them to her. He stared at her hand as she quickly yanked one, two, three, four fucking tissues out of the box, and started patting them against her eyes. "Jesus." He mumbled under his breath.
"But he's cheating on me!"
"I don't really know what you want me to say. If that's the case, then he sucks." The woman started to reach for more tissues, but Harry quickly snatched them away. "No fucking way."
"What?" The woman asked, "Do you expect me to use my sleeve?"
"I was thinking maybe you could use one of the four you took the first time."
"But those are used."
"By you."
"I need new ones."
"You need to learn the value of the dollar." Harry said, "These cost money, money that I currently do not have, so unless you want to buy me a new box of tissues, you can use one of the four you took."
The woman takes the box of tissues back from Harry's hand. "I'm paying you to find out if my husband is cheating on me." She said, "What you do with the money is your business."
"So is what I do with my tissues, you entitled bitch." Harry took them back.
"What?!?!" The woman shouted.
"I said leave my fucking tissues alone." Harry snapped. In response, the woman snatched another tissue out of the box and started to move it up to her eye. Harry ripped half of it out of her hand, and threw it, along with the entire box of tissues clear across the room.
"How dare you!" The woman exclaimed.
"Get the fuck out of my office." Harry said.
"Will you still investigate my husband?" The woman asked. She had known that she pushed the boundaries with the person she was planning on employing, and was worried he wouldn't be willing to take the job anymore.
"If you get the fuck out of my office, right now." Harry said calmly, little did she know Harry didn't have much money and needed it desperately. He's honestly been thinking of becoming a real private escort.
"Okay." The woman reciprocated the tone and left.
As the woman left the office building, beginning a more steady stream of sobs, Jane entered and took note of the beautiful weeping woman exiting her old friend, the Private Escort, Harry Belson's office. Concerned, she asked her joint-lighting friend "What did you do to her?"
Harry looked up, squinting "Do I know you?"
"Ha ha very funny." Jane said sarcastically before she realized the blank expression that sat upon Harry's face. "Do you seriously not recognize me?"
"No, no, I do recognize you." Harry said causing Jane to have a momentary sigh of relief as she sat down across from him "I just can't quite put my finger on where I know you from. But rest assured, I do know I knew you."
"So you don't recognize me."
"Well, I guess it all depends on what your definition of recognize is. I know I know your face, I knew I knew your voice the second I heard it, but I don't know where I used to hear that voice, or when I used to see that face. I know I know I knew you."
"But you don't know me now?" Jane confirmed.
"Well if I knew you now, I would know who you were."
"And you don't?"
"Honestly I lost myself in there, but I think the answer is no." Harry answered, "But you seem to know me."
"I do. Or I guess I did."
"You did?"
"Well if it's been so long that you can't put a name to my face or voice, that probably should've happened to me too, and it's just chance, that I still remember you."
"That makes sense." Harry said, "Well, I'm Harry." He reached his hand out for a shake.
"Jane." She said grabbing his hand.
"That's a nice name."
"You've always thought that."
"It always has been."
The two stare at each other for a moment in silence, before Jane breaks it with "What did you do to that woman?"
"Huh?"
"No wonder you don't remember me." Jane laughed awkwardly, hoping to get a laugh out of Harry, who didn't seem to get the joke. "The woman who was leaving as I came in. Her mascara was streaming heavily down her face."
"Oh. Diane. She thinks her husband is cheating on her."
"That's a bit hypocritical."
"How so?"
Jane was baffled that Harry didn't see the irony in the idea of crying to your "escort" about your husband cheating on you, maybe he hit his head or something since High School. He hasn't always been this slow. "Well," She began "not to be crude, but you are a whore."
Harry sat appalled for a moment, and then laughed "Are you talking about my ad in the paper?"
"Well, yeah."
"I'm not an escort. I'm a private detective."
"Why do-"
"I don't have a private investigators license, and I don't want to put in the effort of getting one, which makes my practice illegal." Harry explained.
"So you went the prostitute route?"
"Yeah."
"You realize that's not the same thing. Right?"
Harry was confused by the question. "Yes, I'm aware that a hooker and a private investigator aren't quite the same thing."
"No, that's not what I mean." Jane said, "If you're a prostitute and you go out as an escort you're not getting paid for sex, because that's illegal, you're getting paid for spending time with your client, and if you just so happen to end up with boning your client, then that's your's and their provocative. But with you, you're a private detective. You're not spending time with your client. They're sending you to somewhere away from."
"I get what you're saying, but the cops leave me alone because of it. So I don't mind."
"You don't mind breaking the law?"
"I mean, by no means was it my intentions, but if that's the way it is, I'm okay with it."
"Did you say the cops leave you alone because of it?"
"Yeah." Harry said.
"The cops allow you to be a private detective because you're pretending to be a prostitute?"
"No, the cops don't know about me being a private detective, because I'm pretending to be an escort. Keyword being escort and not prostitute. There's not really anything they can do against an escort that doesn't want to nor has ever wanted to have sex with any of his clients." Although Harry was getting pretty close.
"Asexual?"
"Professional."
"Asexual."
"Professional."
"You're telling me you don't want to have sex with that woman?" Jane pointed to the door.
"Diane? Hell no! She's fucking nuts. I haven't done any investigating yet and I know the husband is cheating. I wouldn't be able to fucking stand her."
"That's mean."
"She was insanely rude and entitled during our entire conversation."
"I'd still fuck her."
"Be my guest."
"I'm straight by the way."
"Okay."
"I have a boyfriend."
"Neat."
"And I'd fuck that woman."
"Jesus Christ."
"Because she's insanely hot."
"Yeah, I fucking get it."
"No, you don't, because you're asexual."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"Being asexual is by no means a bad thing. But lying to yourself and the people around you about it is unhealthy." Jane said, "Open up. Let it out. Be who you are deep down upfront. Be asexual."
"Actually just fuck off now please."
Jane could see that she'd actually struck a chord now, and not wanting to sour Harry to her on his second-first interaction with her, she decided to let the bickering go and be the bigger person "Alright. I'm sorry."
"Alright."
She couldn't help herself, but to do one more."Asexual."
"Stop it."
"I didn't say anything."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry."
"What? No. I'm asking you if you're busy right now."
"Uh, no. Not really."
"Do you want to go investigate Diane's cheating husband with me?"
Jane wasn't sure what to say. It seemed really exerting to hang out with someone right now, let alone actually doing something, but this was her friend who she hadn't seen in a while. So long that he doesn't even remember her, which was also more odd than she realized at first. She wasn't just some girl that went to his High School, they were best friends throughout Junior and Senior year, yet he had no real recollection of her. Why was that?
"Do you want to hang out or not?" Harry asked impatiently.
On the other hand, she's never taken part in an investigation, and that did sound intriguing, and it could be enjoyable catching up with a friend that has no recollection of her. She could tell him all the stories she told him in high school since he had no memory. She could also tell him all the stories from college since she hadn't spoken to him in years. She could also probably get away without telling him any stories, and just have a conversation. The point she decided she was overcomplicating in her mind was that she would undoubtedly have things to talk about if she went.
"Alright," Harry put the roach of his in an ashtray and stood up. "I'm gonna go. If you could, please just lock the door behind you, whenever you exit your daze." Harry started to exit the office.
"Wait. I'll go with you." Jane said from her seated position.
Harry waited a moment for her to stand up "Then let's go."
"But I need you to do something for me."
Harry thought about it for less than a second before answering "Nope." and headed towards the door again.
"I just need you to answer a question."
Harry stopped. "Fine." He turned around and watched Jane stand up, and face him. She walked right up to him to attempt to see into his eyes and pierce his soul.
"Do you really not know who I am?"
"I know your Jane." Harry said, "If you're asking if I remember you from my past, the answer is a resounding no."
"Alright." Jane frowned.
"Are you coming?"
"Yeah."
"Alright. Let's go."
Jane followed Harry out the door. Outside there were two cars. One beat-up, and rusted Bronco from the 80s with two flashlights taped to the hood right above. the headlights. With all the rust discoloration, and paint that's chipped off, there's no way of knowing what color it ever was. Next to it, a comparatively brand new-looking 2010, light blue, Sedan.
"We're taking your car." Harry said
"What? Why?"
"I don't have that kind of gas money."
"I don't either."
"I'm sure you'll be able to recoup this investment in whatever job you get with your college diploma," Harry said. "Plus, I drive a fucking Bronco. That shit eats gas when it's off. You're driving."
"Damn straight I'm driving. No fucking way I'm letting you drive my car."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just get in the car."
"No."
"Get in the car."
"No. I want to drive now."
"Will you just get in the fucking car?"
"Will you just give me the fucking keys?"
"Not a fucking chance."
Harry checked his watch "Shit. We're gonna be late. Fine, you drive." They got in the car.
"We're not going to be late," Jane said. "You just didn't want to argue anymore, because you knew you were going to lose."
The idea that Harry would give up on an argument for the sole reason that he could see it was a losing battle was ridiculous to him. Harry does not stop arguing because he's going to lose, Harry rarely stops arguing because he lost. Harry would fight his entire life in a losing battle over which Cheez-it was better. Harry preferred the toasted Cheez-Its. Harry was, of course, very wrong. "Of course I was going to lose! It's your fucking car!" Harry shouted "I didn't have a fucking chance! I didn't give up because I was going to lose, if I wanted to win I could've taken my car. I gave up because we have to get somewhere now." Jane reached the end of the parking lot.
"Yeah. Sure." Jane said in a tone of voice, clearly just trying to fuck with Harry.
"Don't fucking do that."
"Which way?"
"Uhhhhhh. Fuck. I don't know. Left?"
"Left?"
"Sure."
"Where are we going?"
"Just go left."
Jane took the keys out of the ignition "No. Where are we going?"
"Mega Coney Island."
"That is right."
"Bullshit."
"Nope." Jane put the keys back in the ignition and started up the car. She turned right.
"Alright."
There's silence for a moment as they drive when suddenly Jane has a realization thinking about the conversation from earlier "Did you say something about me having a college diploma earlier?"
"I don't know." Harry said "Maybe."
"I think you did," Jane said, growing suspicious of Harry.
"Okay?" Harry said, "And?"
"I don't think I ever told you I graduated college. I don't think I ever even told you I was in college."
"Nope. I don't think you did." Harry said. He could tell she was going somewhere with all of this, but couldn't tell quite where.
"Then how did you know?"
Harry laughed, as he figured out what Jane was getting at. "Do you think I'm lying about not remembering you?" He asked, "I'm a detective, Jane. I fucking deduced that shit, just like I deduced that's where you were going with your whole spiel."
Jane, embarrassed, decided to not say anything. Harry was onto her, there was no denying it, and there was no point in denying what they both knew, especially since he got it so quick. Or maybe he figured it out so quick, not because he was a genius, but because he was lying and he knew the truth the whole time. That actually seemed so much more likely. She couldn't believe she thought the first thing for a second. Or maybe he really didn't recognize her, and it was just her own narcissism making her think he secretly did. Ego? She wasn't sure which word sounded better, but both fit pretty well. Narcissistic ego fits best. It doesn't matter. It's her own head no one will ever know what she's thinking, and she knew the second she stopped thinking about this no one would ever know what she thought. Yeah, narcissistic ego. That's the best way to say it.
"You passed it." Harry interrupted her thoughts.
"What?" Jane asked just as tuned out as she was when she passed it.
"Mega." Harry responded, "You drove straight passed it."
Jane snapped out of it. "Oh shit." Jane quickly pulled into the high school parking lot on her right, allowing herself to turn around.
"Hey, did you lock the office door?" Harry asked.
"...No? Why would I have locked the door? It's your office."
"Because I asked you to."
"No, I don't think you did."
"I did." Harry knew he did. He knew it. He fucking knew he asked her, and he knew she heard him, but she refused to do it because she thought he still knew her from long ago. Harry knew this to be true, there wasn't a shadow of doubt, that she thought he knew he knew her, even though he said he didn't, she didn't believe him.
"No, you didn't." 'He's just making shit up now, for the sake of arguing' Jane thought to herself. 'What the fuck is up with this guy?'
"I did. No time to argue now though. We're here."
Jane pulled into Mega Coney Island's parking lot. 'No shit we're here.' Jane thought,. 'I know that. He doesn't need to tell me that. I fucking drove. He's just trying to get out of another argument he knows he's going to lose. Why can't he just argue and lose, like a real man.'
"That wasn't because I was going to lose," Harry said, making Jane feel for less than a second that he could read her mind. "I asked you to lock the door. I know I did, but it doesn't matter now. We have work to do."
"What now?" Jane asked.
"Lunchtime."
Harry and Jane entered the restaurant and were seated at a booth, at first, on request of Harry and Jane, and later on demand, when they were told that "All the booths are meant for parties of 3 or more." Harry nor Jane, would be willing to demand if it weren't for the fact the restaurant was basically empty, and if a party of 3 or more came in. they're were plenty of booths for them. Seriously though, it was 2 PM on a Tuesday. Who the fuck would go eat at a diner at 2 PM on a Tuesday? Besides Harry, Jane, the workers, Diane's cheating husband, and his unnamed mistress, and maybe a couple low-lives with nothing better to do 'we're all low-lives with nothing better to do.' Harry supposes, and Harry was sort of right. Harry was nothing more than an illegitimate snoop, Jane was just a tag-along for his unlawful job, and Diane's husband is an adulterer. The only person who may have been clear of this title was the mistress, as it was unclear at the time if she knew what was happening, but honestly, who is free at 2 PM on a Tuesday besides low-lives and the lucky few.
"There's no one useful in this diner," Harry said.
"What?" Jane questioned. That was a really out of nowhere statement. "Do you mean for the case? Do we need to go somewhere else?"
"No, that's not what I mean." Harry explained, "I mean there's no one here useful to society. No one useful to the grand scheme of things. No one even useful to this fucking town. If we all disappeared there wouldn't be any specific names that stood out to anyone besides family and friends."
"No one famous, you mean?"
"Well... No? Kind of?" Harry stammered.
"Well, what do you mean?"
"I don't know how to explain it," Harry said.
"Can you try?" Jane asked as the young waitress the duo verbally battered to get a booth walked over.
"What do you want to drink?"
"Nothing." Jane responded.
"No soda, no water, no coffee?" The waitress asked, "You don't want anything to drink?"
"No."
"Well, do you know what you want to eat?"
"Nothing." Jane said.
"Well, what do you wa-"
Jane cut the waitress off, "He doesn't want anything either."
"And why is that?"
"Because you're still annoyed with us. We fought you for a booth." Jane said.
"So?" The waitress asked.
"You're going to fuck up our order, or spit in it, or do something fucking gross like that."
"I wouldn't do that."
"Yes, you fucking would. Anyone who's worked in the service industry knows how easy it is to hock a quick loogie into a drink. Do you know how they know that? Because everyone that's worked in the service industry has hocked a quick loogie in a fuckin' drink. We don't fucking want anything." Jane turns her attention back to Harry, "Can you explain... Whatever the fuck you were talking about?"
"Everyone here is useless." Harry responded.
"Right." Jane said, "Where were you going with that?"
The waitress turns to walk away when Harry stops her in her tracks. "Take her for instance."
"Me?" The waitress asked.
"You're including the staff in your statement?" Jane asked.
"I'm sure the staff provides a betterment to society more than you or I, but yes, overall these people are useless."
"Excuse me?" The waitress interrupted.
"In the grand scheme of things, she- she- what's your name?" Harry asked the waitress.
"Izzy." The waitress pointed to her nametag.
"Okay, so let's say Izzy, disappears, just like that, off the face of the earth. Right?" Harry said.
"I'm following" Jane responded.
"Okay, so obviously her family is going to miss her, right?" Harry confirmed, "You got a living family, right?"
"Immediate family?" Izzy the waitress asked. Harry nodded. "I got my mom and my son."
"Okay so her-" Harry cut himself off from the conversation he was having with Jane to focus on Izzy again "Son?"
Izzy nods "Yup. Little Derrick."
"Derrick?" Jane questioned. "Shit name."
"How old is he?" Harry asked Izzy.
"Eleven."
"I know a Derrick around that age. He's a fucking dickhead."
"Eleven?" Harry was baffled choosing to go along with the waitress and ignore his rude counterpart. He looked the young waitress up and down. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-four."
"So you-" Jane started.
"Yup." Izzy answered before Jane could finish the question. "When I was thirteen."
"Jesus Christ!" Harry exclaimed without even thinking. He instantly covered his mouth.
"So where were you going with all that?" Jane asked.
"No."
"No?"
"I don't want to have this conversation anymore." Harry said, hoping that Jane would just shut the fuck up. Harry really didn't want to shit on this woman. She had enough on her plate and didn't deserve a lecture on how she was completely useless to the world. Then again she's probably already thought about that. If she's even had the time to think about that.
"No. You were just going on this big long spiel about how everyone in this restaurant is useless and doesn't matter."
"No. I'm done."
"Fine."
"So you guys don't want anything?" Izzy the waitress asked.
"Can I get a Coke?" Harry asked the waitress.
"Pepsi products." The waitress responded.
"Nevermind." Harry said.
"Alright." The waitress said, "But if you guys plan on staying for a while, you're going to have to order something. Otherwise, my boss is going to get pissed."
"We shouldn't be too long." Harry said.
"Alright." The waitress walked away.
"Why do you have to undermine me like that?" Jane asked.
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked back.
"I said we didn't want anything. She was going to spit in it. You tried to get a Coke."
"But I didn't get a Coke."
"Because they didn't have it." Jane said, "Don't pretend you did that because you changed your mind. You clearly have a misguided Coke preference."
"Are you fucking nuts? Coke is so much better than Pepsi."
"I agree."
"You just said my preferences are misguided."
"Not the preference itself, but the tenacity at which you hold your opinion is much too extreme."
Harry stared at Jane for a moment, with his mouth slightly open "Hey, college grad. We don't all know big words."
"You refused to get a Pepsi when you found out they didn't have Coke. Coke is better, but sometimes you gotta cut your losses and take what you can get."
"But I don't want what I can get. I want what I can't."
"But why sit there and cry about it?"
"I fucking wasn't!" Harry said, starting to get pissed off "I chose not to order it and left it at that! If I was going to whine about it, I'd say something like 'Aww man. I really wanted a Coke. Are you sure all you have is Pepsi?'" Harry whined, with a pouty face.
"See. You're doing it right now."
"Fuck you."
"Shouldn't we be looking for this guy?" Jane asked and started to look around the restaurant.
"I already saw where-"
"Oh my God!" Jane exclaimed.
"What?"
"That's my boyfriend!" Jane pointed to a guy across the restaurant. The guy was in his 20s in a blue button-up shirt with a barely receding hairline, and an empty seat across from him that he angstily looked at, occasionally moving his head to get a view of the door, and constantly taking sips of water out of his straw.
"No, it's not." Harry said.
"Yes, it is." Jane said, "I wonder what he's doing in Fenton."
"He lives here."
"What are you talking about?"
Harry gave Jane a look that said it all.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
Harry thought he gave Jane a look that said it all. He tried again.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Jane asked.
"Jane." Harry said, giving Jane a one-word response that said it all.
"What?" Fuck. It didn't work
"Jane." Harry tried again.
"Harry."
"Jane."
"Spit it out!"
"Who are we here for?"
"That hot girl's husband."
"Yup." Harry said, "and that's him." Harry pointed to the receding hairline man.
"Nope." Jane said, looking back at him "That's my boyfriend."
"Bryce." Harry said.
Jane looked back at Harry. Looked back at Bryce. Back at Harry. Back at Bryce. "That piece of shit." Jane stood up quick and marched over to Bryce.
"Fuck." Harry said.
"Hey! Asshole!" She yelled, gaining all six of the customers' attention. Bryce looked to her, and immediately looked away trying to ignore her. "I know you fucking hear me!" He looked back, probably realizing that was the stupidest plan he could've ever came up with. He knew it only made him look even more suspicious, even though he didn't know what was happening.
"Oh, hey Jane." Bryce squeezed out of his vocal cords.
"Fuck you."
"What?" Came out with even more challenged.
"You're fucking MARRIED!?!?!" Jane shouted with perfect diction
"Uh... No?" Nearly inaudible.
"Your wife knows you're cheating on her, and now I know too. You fucking piece of shit."
"I-I-I don't understand."
"I bet you don't you stupid fuck!" Jane pointed to Harry "You see that guy over there?" Harry began shaking his head violently.
"Jane, no-" Harry said before:
"That guy is a PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR!" Harry slammed his head on the table. It sounded as if she screamed PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR more enunciated and louder than everything else "Your wife hired him to find out if YOU were cheating, and of course, you're a fucking pig."
"Fuck!" Harry shouted, forcing the entire restaurant to avert their eyes (for just a moment) and watch Harry walk out. Just barely through the walls, most of the audience could hear a faint "GOD DAMMIT!", as they saw Harry run his fist into a wall. Then he shook his fist off and screamed.
A few moments later Jane exited Mega Coney Island. She walked to her car to see Harry with a bleeding hand, sitting on the ground, leaning on her car.
"Why aren't you in the car?"
"Locked."
"Oh. Okay." Jane double-pressed a button on her car keys and the car beeped.
"People aren't supposed to know I'm a private investigator."
"Oh. I'm sorry I ruined your cover." Jane said in a tone that told Harry she didn't give a shit.
"You fucking should be." Harry was legitimately angry, and Jane could feel it. This wasn't just some manufactured anger for the sake of a fun nonsensical argument, Harry was legitimately pissed off, something Jane isn't sure she'd ever seen, and never really wanted to see. "You could've cost me, not only my only source of income but my dream job. Maybe you don't remember, but I'm not supposed to be doing this. Now I'm going to have to become a real escort."
Jane looked to the ground. Silent. Slowly, water began to drop from her face.
1 drop.
2 drops.
3 drops.
4 drops.
5 drops. 6 drops. 7 drops. 8 drops. Jane was full-on crying.
"It's okay." Harry said, trying to retcon his attitude about his job. Jane sat down next to him.
"It's not that." Jane sobbed.
"I feel like it should be a little bit. If it's not that then what is it?" Harry asked. Jane gave Harry a look that said it all. "Oh right." Harry said "It's not even a little bit the me thing? I feel like it should be a little bit. You may have taken my only career from me."
Jane laughed.
"I didn't realize this was so funny to you," Harry said. "I'm sorry he was cheating on you, but you should not be this upset. You could not have been that close to him."
"What makes you think that?" Jane inquisited.
"You didn't even know he lived in Fenton."
Jane laughed again, still crying.
Harry and Jane sat next to each other for a moment, Harry looking at his fist, and Jane thinking about her own shit. Jane took a look at Harry's hand.
"Jesus Christ." She said.
"Huh? Oh, yeah." Harry said.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. It'll be fine." Harry said. "I'd go to the hospital, but my employer doesn't provide health insurance."
They spent another moment sitting in silence.
"I knew who you were this whole time." Harry said.
"What?"
"I knew who you were this whole time," Harry repeated. "To be honest, I didn't want to. I wanted to have forgotten you."
"Why?"
"You didn't need me. You still don't need me. Which, I mean, I guess is fine. I don't someone to need me, but you dropped me the day you went to college. You didn't even want me. I wanted to show you I didn't need you either. I'm fine without you."
"So you pretended to have no memory of me."
"Yeah."
"You're such a dick."
"You didn't talk to me for 4 fucking years."
"I had homework."
"Fuck you."
"I'm sorry, Harry. You're right. I should've stayed in contact with you. At least during breaks, when I was in town."
"All the time," Harry said, "You had my phone number, my Snapchat, my Instagram, you could've sent me a fucking letter. You had every chance to keep in contact with me."
Jane said. "I'm sorry, Harry."
"Why didn't you?"
"I left everything I've ever known as my life behind. I needed a clean cut, or I wouldn't be able to handle leaving anything behind."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry that it hurt you, Harry. It's what I needed to feel okay."
Harry was silent for a moment. "I'm going to forgive you." Harry said. "It's in my nature. But I don't want to. You've done nothing to make up for it, until spending time with me today. So I need a couple of days before I forgive you."
"That's fair."
"Can you take me back to my office?" Harry asked.
"Can you drive?" Jane asked, wiping her eyes.
Harry lifted up his bloodied hand and flipped Jane off.102Please respect copyright.PENANAafIKn5JElO