The following is an entry from Harry Belson's diary, marked August 10th, 2019, and titled 'My Final Grad Party'.
Today was Jane's grad party. It was fun. I didn't really know what to do most of the time. It was a weird experience. I'm taking it back, it wasn't fun. There were certainly some enjoyable portions of it, but for the most part, I would not call it a fun experience. That's nothing against Jane or her parents' party-throwing ability. It was just one of the less enjoyable grad parties I went to. For simple reasons. I was exhausted. I couldn't sleep the night before. Partially out of excitement to see Jane again, partially because there was a frog in my room and it scared me, partially because I was reading The Study in Scarlet. Damn, that is a good fucking book. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is a writer for sure. What a twist it was to find out that the entire Mormon religion was the true villain of the story. I didn't know Mormons even existed when this book was written, let alone people in the U.K. knew about them.
Anyway, there was a frog in my room. I don't really know how it got there, but it was neat. Frogs are cool. I was laying in bed when I looked up from my book with hazy, reading-to-long vision and saw something climbing up my wall. thought it was a frog, or a toad or something and so I got out of my room and went to the kitchen to grab a mason jar. Where do mason jars come from, by the way? I don't think I've ever bought one. I don't think my parents have ever come home with mason jars, and I don't think I've ever seen a mason jar at a friends house. Do my parents make mason jars? We may never know.
So I grabbed a mason jar, and I took back to my room to put the frog in it, but the frog was gone. Had I made the climbing creature up? Not a chance. I looked to the ground and regretted doing that almost instantly because all I could see was a cluttered mess. I really have to clean my room, but I don't to. Which is fine most of the time, but not when searching for a dime-sized creature I could have made up. I certainly couldn't sleep without finding out if the creature was real, and there was no way of knowing unless it was and I found it. Because if it wasn't real I wouldn't be able to find it, and there was a chance I would have missed it, and it's still loose in my room.
I am adding quite a bit more to this story than necessary, because truthfully I moved one article of clothing and I saw the frog.
I got him in the mason jar, and didn't really know what to do with him anymore. I couldn't open doors to let him outside. That would make the dogs bark, and would wake up my parents. I don't want to deal with that. It doesn't matter that tomorrow is Saturday. It's 3 AM. Fuck that. I also didn't want to drop him out the window, because he might get hurt. I decided to just pop a couple holes in the top of the mason jar and just go to bed. That was the best bet.
I decided then it would be best to go to bed. The conclusion to the Sherlock Holmes story I was reading could wait. I had to get to a grad party by 11 AM tomorrow. I guess I didn't really have to, best Jane is my best friend and that's the start out of it. I'd like to be there the whole time if I could.
At about 5 AM, after two full hours of tossing and turning, I realized I wasn't going to be able to sleep. I tried reading Sherlock Holmes again but my eyes couldn't focus on it, and even if they could, it's an old-ass book. I don't know that I would be able to decipher the book into a modern text. Not that it's too difficult, just I was way too tired to get what it was saying. I think. Again, I couldn't focus on the words anyway. So then I tried to watch something, but nothing jumped out at me. I don't like watching low-quality garbage, but nothing fits better for that level of sleep-deprivation. I can't really take anything that I either haven't seen a hundred times, or I actually have to focus on.
So I put on one of my mom's favorites: My Strange Addiction. That show is truly garbage. Especially the first couple episodes, because the addictions aren't even interesting, or dangerous and the show is trying to make them seem like they are. Eating toilet paper is weird, but no one cares, and it's not that bad for you. The doctor in the show was saying something like "You'll probably be fine, but too much of anything that fibrous could block you up, and eventually kill you." Okay, stupid doctor. Paid dumbass. It's not going to kill you. In the off-chance that you eat so much, that it blocks your stomach, I'm sure you can get it removed in time before your stomach explodes, or whatever happens when it overfills.
By 10 AM, still laying in bed, I decided it was time to get up. I had gotten my much-needed 0 hours of sleep, and was officially ready to drive. I looked to the left of me, and saw the mason jar frog, and decided to take him with me. I didn't have any grad party money to give Jane, so I decided it would be best to give her a frog instead of annoying my mom with a request for 20 dollars and dealing with all of that.
I grabbed the frog, placed it gently in the passenger seat of my mothers car, buckled it in, and drove to Jane's house. When I finally got there, I was glad that I did not doze off, and did not crash. I grabbed the frog and walked around back where I heard all of the party ruckus coming from. No surprise, there was everyone. I walked over to a collage of photos of Jane and looked at a couple, trying to find me. I looked down at the table it was sitting on and notice a box that said "CARDS". I set the frog down next to it. I realized it wasn't fair to just keep this frog locked in a glass prison it's whole life, looking out at everything it wants to be in, so I pulled some grass out of the ground and dropped it in the mason jar.
Then I looked at the food. Nothing appetizing. That might've been because I felt slightly sick, and that was definitely because I was exhausted. I did walk over to the cooler and pick out a soda. I was in desperate need of sugar and caffeine. really anything that would keep me awake. I felt I was going to pass out at any moment. I probably wasn't though. I've felt like that since 4 AM. It sucked. I downed a Dr. Pepper, and grabbed another. I felt like Forrest Gump. Then I went over to Jane for the first time and said hi. She was talking to guests the entire time, which isn't crazy, but I wanted to have a conversation with my friend. For most of the party I sat in a chair, not really able to talk to anyone, because there was no one that there I knew on a level where I wouldn't have to put in some effort to talk to them besides Jane. Jane's definitely my best friend, but that doesn't mean we run in the same circles.
One thing that sucked about the Jane's grad party is it was definitely the last one I'm going to. I don't think anymore are happening, and my body sort of ruined it for myself by refusing to fall asleep. So that sucked.
But what really sucked was that's probably the last time I'm really going to be able to see Jane before she goes off to college. We didn't talk a lot, but one thing we did bring up was her schedule is fucking packed until she leaves. She has to pack, she has to meet up with her roommate because she doesn't want to find out later on that this person is psycho or something of that nature. She also promised her family they'd be able to have one more movie night, something they've done for years, and they really don't welcome outsiders to that. I've tried to get in before, and they would not invite me.
When I drove home I saw I had a text asking me about the frog, but I wasn't able to respond. I passed out immediately after opening it, and slept for about 5 hours. I woke up about 30 minutes ago, and now I'm about to go get a glass of water and go back to sleep. Goodnight.41Please respect copyright.PENANAXHCJ6ycNm7