I felt someone pull me from the room by my sleeve, but I didn't even react. I was just in too much shock. The pure hatred that she-wolf seemed to harbor towards me didn't make any sense. What had I done?
"What did you do?" Asher asked, still with his hand on my arm.
"Nothing?" I replied though my answer sounded more like a question. I still hadn't taken my eye off the closed door.
"Wait here, okay?" Asher asked. I merely nodded and waited for him as he disappeared into her room. Standing there waiting in the hallway for Asher to return felt like forever, but it did give me time to think. Why had I assumed she was a male pup. Well, she was smaller than every other she-wolf I had ever encountered, and she had been so aggressive, not something I came across among female werewolves, I tried to reason.
Asher slowly slipped through the door closing it softly behind him.
"Well," He began scratching his head. "She's requested permission to leave and would appreciate it if you would keep away from her," He said sounding really uneasy.
"What?" I asked aloud more to myself than to him.
"She didn't seem this upset when I went in earlier to talk to her. She was very polite and friendly. Even thanked me for all my help."
"YOUR help?" I yelled a little riled up, taking a step toward him.
"Her words, not mine." He defended, putting both his hands up in surrender, his back against the door.
"Yeah, yeah," I said backing off. "Just tell her she is free to leave as soon as Doc clears her," I replied trying not to let my frustration get the better of me as I walked off. "Oh, and see if you can find out what pack she's from and why she was out in the woods alone."
What was with this darn she-wolf? How could she hate me so much when I had yet to utter even a single word to her? All I've done is try to help her. More importantly, why did I even care? Whatever, she would be gone in a day or so.
I wandered back towards the pack house without any apparent destination in mind, when I realized I had ended up in front of a room, I haven't entered in forever. It's not that I didn't want to enter the 'everything room', but it simply hurt too much. I would usually pause here when I walked past, but I could never get past my hand hovering over the doorknob. I was sure it still smelled of her. She spent all her free time in there.
"Finally going to go in there?" Griffin asked, startling me. I hadn't even realized he was behind me.
"Uh, no, maybe later," I said hesitantly. "I have a heap of work to do."
"Who are you trying to sell that lie to me or yourself?" He knew me too well. No one had been in there since Olivia's passing.
"You know, sometimes I wonder if she repainted it again since I was last in there. She seemed to be redoing it every other week," Griffin reminisced with a slight smile on his face. They were close, and sometimes I forget he lost one of his best friends not just his Luna.
"She was pregnant, you know," I blurted out after a long silence. I hadn't told anyone once the doctor confirmed it after doing her autopsy. I had ordered him not to tell anyone and to destroy any records of it. I know that wasn't the alpha thing to do, but I couldn't help the few tears that broke free and slipped down my cheek.
"But how?" He eventually managed to ask. I could see the pain and pity written on his face.
"She told me a few days before the attack, but she hadn't been certain. Doc Havers confirmed it after the autopsy." My words came out in a low whisper. I wasn't even sure Griffin heard me.
"You both would have been great parents." I nodded still standing facing the doorway. I just couldn't do it. Everything about that room was Olivia. No one ever went in there except to talk to Olivia or to view her latest masterpiece. I didn't want to contaminate it, to lose the last bit of her. The fact that I had not only lost her but my unborn child had made things so much worse.
We had spent nearly a yearly trying for a child. Olivia loved kids. Every time she saw a small baby she would get the gleam in her eyes and a dreamy smile on her face. I hadn't been so eager to have kids. I mean I knew I wanted one eventually, but I wasn't sure I was ready to be a dad just yet. Then when she had told me the knew that she might be pregnant it was like all my doubt vanished.
"Come on man, let's go train for a bit." Griffin started to steer me towards the training room. He truly was my saving grace. It was like he could sense when things became too much for me. As we walked downstairs, he kept looking at me like he wanted to say something.
"What? Spit it out already." I said.
"It's nothing. It's just I understand now why you cared so much about that pup."
"She's not a pup," I informed him.
"She? I thought you said the wolf was male." He seemed more than shocked.
"Yeah, well, I was wrong," I replied, feeling frustrated all over again. Why did the wolf detest me so much?
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