20Please respect copyright.PENANAVLfaNdMcNl
▌類型 短文20Please respect copyright.PENANA2WDAukfIRp
▌作者 氦氣
▌第3篇
20Please respect copyright.PENANAijlicG1F4b
末篇,以年邁的疾病纏身刻畫出女孩的不離不棄,更是難得可貴看出,通篇都是女孩無謂犧牲的偉大辛勞。20Please respect copyright.PENANAjXqiOzbrQs
20Please respect copyright.PENANAMTegRkzF5w
冬戀湖的廟神,將兩人緣分再次相繫相聯,雖牽起了忘記了自己的那名男人的手,卻仍堅定自己的內心的想法。以冬,再次畫下落幕。20Please respect copyright.PENANAF6C8Bj1843
20Please respect copyright.PENANAPJHyamp6ct
20Please respect copyright.PENANAm7H3ukeNwc
點評至此處,實在不忍想碎嘴一番。那男孩,丟下一句拋棄人家,然後一場大病要女孩照顧終生,這更多的是惡劣龍傲天男主嗎🤧20Please respect copyright.PENANA2LrKUESFoU
20Please respect copyright.PENANAum3Q4fGM7s
20Please respect copyright.PENANA2iF2aD1Hyd
20Please respect copyright.PENANAQW7DizJcK8
另外就是有幾點建議:20Please respect copyright.PENANAND2g3NQysR
20Please respect copyright.PENANAtKOmiS4dDB
1.三篇區分,上、中、下,建議別分成第三人稱、第一人稱混用寫文,容易造成讀者混亂。20Please respect copyright.PENANAIjcbBxoQ4c
20Please respect copyright.PENANAGu8xq3hmcS
(對!!那個讀者正是我!!)20Please respect copyright.PENANAzp1CGayQey
20Please respect copyright.PENANAmO1wkh4FPz
2.形容某個特定的景物時候,冗字稍多,仍有改進空間,有時候這部分是需要一些適當的點綴即可的,因為你故事的主角不是它們。20Please respect copyright.PENANABKZr7Tc2Bj
20Please respect copyright.PENANACemR4uGous
3.女主角的思維可以再更細膩些,如多上一些自己的小脾氣等等,畢竟,上中下篇以三篇為起承轉合,應當可以更好發揮。20Please respect copyright.PENANAiBMxey6E2T
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以上。