A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bi6UdHr7R
-:-870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVCSsQhsMY
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzRrA0QHRa
CHARACTERS870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIJOJGN1Nx
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBc9WzBUEj
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXTWIgzKZN
--870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYNE2TAYDo
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ173289mC0
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemmMKhgx9F
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8P7nBd8Q6
We don’t have much time.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmnSsOLIKV
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTH7zKo6Qw
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1Va1K2YkF
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v7IkMDipG
CECIL870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzemo8yC5vJ
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunrVvegkFy
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6cslKM30D
I understand you’re upset - 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QFst6YGev
CECIL870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMhh6W72WB
I damn well am! 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5TUp4NwkB
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsjtLhvCJV
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vWsjDrdiP
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdu4a93Piy
CECIL870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BZck0wqQW
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9XVPXZlzG
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYz7LeAqgnx
(slowly)870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMtiPwYmlQ
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CSMP11J3y
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3N9OsWgsb
CECIL870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAVdTXJPNK
What?870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqHLAlhgaG
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpbXpAjBCB
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JWbxNv1ZE
CECIL870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl2FubWDVM
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5ROvfS1wR
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFCjyeMtl9
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJ7eOZgRKV
CECIL870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsb5eLaUU0
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbt9YaO08m
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBUh4tN1AV
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7VQEFzz70
CECIL870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIt7qWf0Au
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2sixmszI0
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7sJlAOZen
That may be the case, but look at this.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4XaSUDggf
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVplIgm816K
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEGDfRSfjI
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8wADpjUGT
CECIL870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtrg84vrUB
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjTFIdk9T7
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34s8wii0XW
(grimly)870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLpW1U6swu
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjFIcz3Hj5
CECIL870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEe4fQ5vFW
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIu9qxRudZu
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uE1JzPNdt
XIUYING870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWBXBmMvux
Who said anything about paying them off?870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD881lO0f3
--870Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqt5SDb6qx
