I'm a horrible person.170Please respect copyright.PENANAQO50bVF7wD
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.170Please respect copyright.PENANAKa35FmRX67
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.170Please respect copyright.PENANA7vK1Fb5xev
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.170Please respect copyright.PENANABlBZS1tChI
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.170Please respect copyright.PENANAK2exBnXcYx
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.170Please respect copyright.PENANAfbW3sGAZDM
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.170Please respect copyright.PENANAk097SU5rl7
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.170Please respect copyright.PENANAZBtptvg8Mv
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.170Please respect copyright.PENANApPYByK6XXt
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.170Please respect copyright.PENANAT2UcAj5tm8
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.170Please respect copyright.PENANAuM9RbD2rIs
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.170Please respect copyright.PENANA43ty43FD0X
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.170Please respect copyright.PENANAYaB2wMp8v7
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.170Please respect copyright.PENANA2DLUsBYCXH
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.170Please respect copyright.PENANAQonZe1nnBv
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?170Please respect copyright.PENANAOuiog5mDui
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.170Please respect copyright.PENANAOVxssNRBi0
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.170Please respect copyright.PENANALQ1jhBPLqj
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.170Please respect copyright.PENANAe8bnsF4rcH
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.170Please respect copyright.PENANA6N62WgAq9t
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.170Please respect copyright.PENANAdCefPNCH7W
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.170Please respect copyright.PENANAVip4S2cg34
Of being lonely.170Please respect copyright.PENANAI3cRPgFMI8
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.170Please respect copyright.PENANAFLPZlmK4XZ
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So I take comfort in my own world.170Please respect copyright.PENANAYQEv4qgu7R
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.170Please respect copyright.PENANApawg5V4VsG
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.170Please respect copyright.PENANASRSR5dn7Pm
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.170Please respect copyright.PENANAb0BEiZrkkW
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.170Please respect copyright.PENANAr6Ig4mjHEs
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.170Please respect copyright.PENANAw9PjBNqKzJ
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I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.170Please respect copyright.PENANAD0aRtkzMtS
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?170Please respect copyright.PENANAC8iCUTjInq
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.170Please respect copyright.PENANADtVPr9VPbz
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What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.170Please respect copyright.PENANA4TAwe7WBZj
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.170Please respect copyright.PENANABNo4yOSPdD
I shouldn't even have been born.170Please respect copyright.PENANAURB2OdalGv
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.170Please respect copyright.PENANAE8weK2Eqz4
....170Please respect copyright.PENANAZjNWCjQmji
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