ZAIRA’S POV
The sunlight streamed through the glass walls, softened his face, and made his emerald eyes look like gems. It was hard to resist him even more. His hand reached for mine at the tabletop and as much I wanted to hold that hand of his, I resisted because I knew I’d be doing wrong to Z.
Hurt and the pain of rejection flashed in those gemstone-like eyes and I wanted to blame myself for this.
I slowly retreated my hand back to my thighs and took a deep breath and prepared to say the next words very well knowing that they are going to hurt him even more. I am going to curse myself for letting go of this last chance I have with him and also for the hurt I will be causing him with my words.
Here goes nothing.
“Dean, I perfectly understand what you mean and I should have known better that you were also going through stuff before burdening you with my shit. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Jared slipped off of my mind completely; I know how much he meant to you..”
My words trailed off.
“Why do I feel a but coming?” he spoke softly, not meeting my eyes. His words screamed that he doesn’t want to hear what’s going to come out of my mouth next.
“It is.” At this point, my voice was barely audible and I started to feel sick in my stomach. Tears were threatening to spill from the corner of my eyes. I have put both of us through this for Z.
“I’m so sorry Dean but I’m in a relationship and he’s a great guy and I cannot hurt him by getting back together with you. People have always abandoned him, I shouldn’t”
I didn’t realize that hot tears that were brimming seconds ago were now streaming down my face. Why were goodbyes so hard? I wasn’t able to put an end to my tears and breathing got difficult as more hurt consumed me.
I looked up for a split second to realize that Dean was sobbing silent tears too. That was like a bullet to the heart and I knew that if I stayed even a second long, I’d regret my decisions. I abruptly got up from my seat and headed for the door. My eyes remained shut because I was not ready to see things that were unfolding in front of my eyes.
I heard the bells in the background as I left the diner. Seconds later there was a faint sound of those same bells of the diner, and I knew it was Dean who was coming. My body betrayed me and my footsteps slowed down automatically.
His familiar palms circled my wrist and turned me around and this time I gave in to his touch. I didn’t revolt.
“Zaira look at me,” he demanded. He didn’t seem like the vulnerable guy which I saw mere minutes ago. His voice was firm, and I was perfectly well aware of what it meant. Determination.
He was determined to make me stay.
“You said he was a great guy, agreed. But does he make you happy the way I do? You said you shouldn’t betray and abandon him, but are you planning to marry him? Does he give you the feelings which I am giving you just by holding your hand?”
His tear-stained face and wide eyes with fire within were staring at me, threatening me to answer him. He knew me too well. He knew how I felt, and he was using that against me. He knew that all the answers were him, and I did too if I kept Z aside.
His face inched closer, and I stayed in my tracks. My body refused to move on my command.
I could feel his hot breath on top of my lips and there was no part that I was regretting. His chapped lips collided with mine and I let them. My body relaxed under his touch and suddenly it felt like home. I melted under the hold of his arms and clutched onto him knowing that there is no going back now and it’s okay.
I’m so sorry Z.
Forgive me, but he is what I need.
He is my first love after all.
Z’s POV
Zaira left early cause of pending work and I was left alone in my noisy loft. Today was Sunday. Zaira came over and I forgot about my chocolate chip pancake treat to myself.
That was the one thing I am willing to spend money without second thoughts.
After watching three episodes of Haikyuu! I decided to go and devour my heavenly pancakes. I grabbed my hoodie and keys and closed the door behind me. Like always, I walked to the diner. Taking a peaceful stroll through the city. The whole city was busy as always.
As I was nearing the diner, I was whistling the melody of the anime intro.
Every time I came to the Diner, I always looked back at the time when I met Zaira there with that ex-boyfriend of hers, where he bumped into the door. I found myself snickering at Dean. People who went past me gave me weird looks for laughing out loud alone. Pft who cares, it was funny.
I was meters away for the door of the diner when saw a girl with awfully similar physique and clothes that Zaira was wearing today, kissing a guy. My laughter died in my stomach as I went over the possibility of that girl being my Zaira.
My instant reaction was to hide behind the walls of the building beside the diner. I watched their movements like a hawk and waited for them to confirm my suspicion.
The two proceeded to hug each other and the moment they did, the girl's face was clearly visible. It was tear-strained and puffy and it was my Zaira, with possibly Dean.
What were the chances of me walking into her happy reunion with Dean? Yet it happened.
Anger surged inside me and my fists were balled shut hard to the point where my nails dug holes in my palms.
She shouldn't have let me find out that she cheated on me. Does that mean she's going to abandon me for him? I won't let that happen. Not again. No one is leaving me ever again. If she does, I won't let her get away with it.
I need to make sure she comes clean to me before I do anything.
Tomorrow is our one month anniversary.
I walked away from there because it was breaking my heart and also making me pissed.
Zaira, you shouldn't leave me for your own sake.
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