Mason POV175Please respect copyright.PENANAga1pswQdVo
175Please respect copyright.PENANA592QKaLKFm
Today we were going to the cemetery where Izzy was buried. Delilah seemed uneasy on the ride to the cemetery so I put my hand in hers and kissed hers reassuring her that I was there if she needed me. In which I knew that she did. When we got out of the car I thought that she was going to walk with me but I didn't see her by my side. I stopped walking and looked back to see that she was in tears still standing at the car door. I walked back to her and hugged her as her head was buried into my jacket.
"It's okay baby," I said, kissing her head.
"I don't know if I can do this. I'm not ready to face her. I don't know what I was thinking coming here"
"We both know that we need closure. We can't move on if we don't face what we have been hiding from." I explained as I tried not to cry as well. If she doesn't realize it, it's more difficult for me than her. I just wanted to grieve with her, that's all I ever wanted to do from the beginning. I let her cry it out then I convinced her "If you go then I will. I promise I will never leave your side."
She wiped her tears minutes later "Okay. Let's go" she locked my hand in her and we walked to Izzy's grave which was right next to demi's grandparents. We stood in front of her grave and I said "If you aren't ready I can go"
"No baby I got this" she squeezed my hand and I can feel her trembling to give her words up. I just said for her to take her time"
She took a shuddering breath as if she was trying not to break down saying her prayer "Hey baby girl..... Mommy misses you every day and night. I know it has been hard for me this past year but I'm trying to get back to normal. It-its difficult-without you." her voice began to crack.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to save you. I wish I could have given you my breath of life just so you can live another day and see the future that you will create for yourself." she broke down crying as she continued "often at night you and your older sibling are always on my mind. I just think 'what if y'all were here with me will my life be better?' but then I think maybe god made this happen for a reason. You both were my happiness....and now I can't find myself without y'all." She took a deep breath and finished "But I know that daddy and I will get through this. Mami will always love you sweetheart" I took her into my embrace and let her cry it out. I had tears in my eyes hearing her heartbreaking prayer. I sniffled and reassured her, "It will be okay, my love." She wrapped her arms around me by my side as I began to say my prayer
"Hey Izzy....I know you can be mad at me for messing up. But I will never go a day without thinking about you. I still hear that beautiful laugh. I still see that beautiful smile that reminds me so much of your mom.
I can't believe it has been a year. But it felt like an eternity. Just know that Mami and daddy will be waiting for you princess. You will always be daddy's little girl." I hugged Demi as we grieved our loss together. When we got home we took off our jackets and just as I was going to go upstairs to change she said "Wait Mason, come here." I came to her and she pulled me into a tight hug and started to cry. I sat us down and held her. She looked up at me with red eyes "I love you Wilmer...you know that?"
"And I love you too baby" I lifted her head and kissed her lips.
"I know this might sound crazy but ...I want a new start"
"What did you mean?"
"With us. I know it sounds crazy but...I want to move back to L.A to our old house." I know why she doesn't want to have to be reminded of what happened to Izzy. I felt the same way.
"I'm on board with whatever you would like to do. I understand why"
"Yeah"
We just sat on the couch talking most of the day. It was blissful and very helpful. We laughed and cried and just had a good time remembering the good old times. I had just come home when Delilah was just watching TV. When she saw me at the door she smiled and greeted me.
"Hi baby"
"Hey, you look very comfortable with my pillow"
"It smells like you, you've been gone all day"
"Que linda" I said going up to her, giving her a greeted kiss. "What are you watching?"
"Binge watching Supernatural"
"Cool" I said going to the staircase.
"Where are you going?" she asked as she watched my movement.
"Just going to go take a shower"
"Okay but come back down I want my snuggle bear"
"Okay" before I walked away "Wait baby...you can have this back" she handed me my pillow. I took it and said "gee thanks"
She laughed and apologized. "No it's fine love but quit taking my shirts"
"I return most of them"
"And you also burn me for most of them"
"Oops"
"Its fine im just playin have whatever you want"
"I'll pick this one" she said tugging onto the shirt.
When I came downstairs in just ball shorts and my glasses she said "Come here my hubby nerd"
"Hey you were a nerd to"
"Not anymore"
"But you were a blind bat"
"And you aren't?" I said snuggling next to her. I kissed her cheek and we turned our heads to the TV. After a while something came to my mind when I glanced at Delilah's wedding ring. I said "baby..."
"Hum?"
"We need to talk" She turned her attention to me and asked "about what?"
"I think we need marriage counseling
"What-no"
"I feel like if we-"
"No we are fine, we- we just have complications and we can talk them out"
"But it's hard to do that if we keep having arguments so early in our marriage we are almost a year into our marriage and we had more problems than an average couple"
"No no that's what we do. That's just us we love and we break up to make up its been like that for almost seven years"
"Don't you think it's time to change. I want to fix us"
"No there is nothing to fix!" she said in frustration.
"Yes there is. Then tell me why for five months you blocked me out completely?"
"You know why, don't even bring that up. I'm done with this conversation. Can we just watch TV like a normal married couple?"
"That's the thing, we aren't normal there will never be such thing as the perfect marriage and I want to open up you but with help to help express our feelings"
"I don't want to put our business out there to a stranger that don't know our situation"
"please I know that you know that we need it, quit being stubborn and let's do this...please?" After a while of thinking she said "fine but if it makes things worse than what it is I'm going to punch you."
"Thank you so much. We won't regret this. I promise you. I just want to get us back to where we were before we lost our daughter. We have somehow been in the midst of depression, lost our emotional connection and I wanted to feel that again."
"When you know what it feels like to-never mind"
"To what? Lost two children that you never got the chance to have a year to love? Yeah I know what it feels like and I know that it's affecting you just as much as I" She stood silent. "So, baby please can we do this, What's the worst that can happen?"
"Fine but I highly doubt that it will work"
Three months later….
Delilah POV
A few months go by and he proved me wrong, the therapy worked. It helped us get closer and back to the way we used to before we got married. So now we are days away from our one year anniversary of being married. I had some plans for Mason when he came back from Atlanta. While he was doing his job, I went to the factory to talk to managers about my next cosmetic product for my line. But while at the factory trying to talk to one of the production I suddenly felt nauseated. I ran to the bathroom as fast as possible. I made it just in time to empty my stomach content in the porcelain toilet bowl. When I was done, I wiped my mouth with a paper towel and washed my hands. Then I took a deep breath looking in the mirror. I wanted to deny it so bad. But I knew that it was. So I decided to go get a pregnancy test. When I took it I sat there praying that I wasn't pregnant. I still have this fear of losing another kid that's why I never really wanted Mason and I to get intimate again but then again wanted to have a chance to love another child. The timer went off and I checked the stick.
My eyes almost popped out of my head as I saw the '+'. My heart started to pound. I was so scared. So, before I jumped the gun I took the two other different tests. They came back positive. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I was going to call Mason but he was going to wonder why I was scared so instead I called our therapist.
"Hello, Susan speaking" I hear at the end of the phone.
"Susan I need your help" my voice cracked.
"Woow what's going on baby?"
I was freaking out and I didn't want to tell Mason and I can't tell any of my family members so the last person I had to confide in was Susan. So I just decided to tell her.
"I-I'm pregnant" I busted into tears.
"Congrats" she joyfully said
"No. This is bad." I started to feel like the air was getting thicker "I can't breathe please help me" I managed to say in a panting tone.
"Okay...it'll be fine. Just breath in and out. Don't focus on anything else but breathing and my voice is okay" I did as she instructed. When I had a steady breath and stopped crying after a bit I asked her "What do I do?"
"Did you tell your husband?"
"No. I'm scared."
"Don't be dear. Look on the bright side of this. Think of it as another chance for you and your husband. Who knows, it might make y'all marriage better too"
"But I'm scared I might lose this one too. I already lost two, I don't think I can handle another. It's hard for me"
"If you want to make things better for you and Mason this can be the first step to open up to him about this fear"
"Alright thanks for everything"
"No problem."
"When do you think I should tell him"
"I would tell him sooner than later because you know what happened when you did that"
"You're right. Thanks, I'll just tell him tonight."
"That's fantastic. Well I have another patient in a minute I have to let you go"
"Okay thanks again"
"You welcome and congratulate you both. See you and Mason next week"
When I got home later that night around five I saw making himself ham and cheese sandwiches. I walked up to the island in the kitchen and said "Hey baby how was your trip?"
"Good, a bit stressful though but how was your day?"
"Okay"
"I have an important question. What do you want for dinner tonight?"
"I'm thinkin Chinese"
"Wait. You only want Chinese when you're-" I smiled big from ear to ear and shook my head to let him know he was right.
"Seriously?" he said, dropping his sandwich to lift me up off the ground. Then he showered me with kisses after every word "I. can't. believe. this. I'm. so. happy." I blushed at his cuteness. He started crying tears of joy as he sat me down "I can't believe we have another chance baby"
I cupped his cheek with the palm of my hand and used my thumbs to wipe off the tears that streamed down his cheeks. I gave him another kiss and I started crying because he thought how I was thinking. "Yes we do baby. And we will do this together, okay?" I said as I considered his brown glared eyes that were surrounded by redness and tears.
"I promise you. I won't let you down." he said as his voice cracked. We celebrated together with a romantic dinner at one of my favorite Chinese restaurants while I can keep the food down. I know my morning sickness is just around the corner and I'm only on day one. We didn't tell anyone because we had to get through the next few weeks and confirm it with the doctor.
///
A month later….
When I woke up this morning next to Mason "Are you okay?" he asked.
"It's just my neck I kinda slept the wrong way"
"Here let me help" I turned to where my back was facing him and he put his hands on the napes of my neck and started massaging the back of my neck with his thumbs. Then his hands spread on my shoulders. I rolled my head "Mmm this feels nice. Thank you, baby," I moaned enjoying the massage then just so happen came to my mind to tell him something "Baby I had a bad dream"
"Oh yeah what happened?"
"I watched a guy kill a bunch of people and I hid because I didn't want to get caught. But then when I tried to move my position he found me and he went after me. But then I woke up"
"Awe it was just a nightmare"
"But baby it felt so real and I feel like the more I stay asleep the worse it gets."
"Just wake me up whenever you have another"
"Okay...Now let's go take a shower."
"Okay" we got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. As we stepped into the shower being covered by the warm water soaking through our hair dropping down our bodies. I cocked my head back, closing my eyes while I ran my fingers through my long brown locks. Suddenly I felt Mason's warm hand go on my small barely showing baby bump. I opened my eyes and smiled at him. His other hand pulled me close to him and I smiled at him. He kissed me and said "I can't wait to find out in a few months if it's a boy or girl."
"Me too, what do you think it is?"
"I feel like it's a boy"
"Me too but who knows it might be another girl" When I went downstairs to get myself a glass of ice water then I came back upstairs to see that Jay had just fixed the sheets for us. After dressing the bed, Mason and I got into bed. I snuggled close to him as he wrapped his strong arms around me as we spooned under the warm sheet. I locked my fingers with his and kissed the surface of it and said "I love you. Night"
"I love you to baby girl good night" he kissed the back of my neck then turned off the light. Minutes later I drifted off into a deep slumber. I was tickling Izzy one minutes then another and she vanished. I looked around me and it was pitch black. Then I saw a light from a door and I walked to it. It was Izzy 's old room.
I took a look inside of it for the first time in forever and heard her crying. I went to her crib quickly and I saw nothing but her bear. I don't know why but I felt nervous. I still heard her crying but I couldn't find her. I ran out the house to see if Mason's car was there but it wasn't there. I looked down the street and saw a car accident...one of the cars was his. I ran up to the car and saw him knocked unconscious. As for Izzy....she was already dead in the back seat. All I did was scream "no". I woke up gasping for air as sweat and tears dripped down my face. I got up and tapped Mason. He woke up instantly and asked "What happened?"
"I had a nightmare"
"It'll be okay baby"
"No it's not, it's worse than the last. It was about you and Izzy" I exclaimed while crying into his shirt.
"It was just a dream. It will be okay" he reassured me.
"But it felt so real. I found you and Izzy in a car accident. I'm so scared I don't even know what that means. I'm so scared to lose you"
"You're not going to lose me. I'm staying right here with you. I'm not going anywhere I promise. You're just shaken up right now. Now just tell me more about this nightmare in the morning okay?"
"Okay... I love you"
"I love you too"
All through the night I kept waking up because I was so uncomfortable. So, I kept switching positions. Before I knew it, it was around ten in the morning. I really couldn't sleep so I woke up cranky. I cracked my back and asked him "Can you give me a back massage?"
"Yeah" so he gave me a nice one before we went to take a shower and went to our doctor's appointment for a check up on the baby. Then he asked me "I've been having bad dreams lately and I don't even eat sweets before bed. But these dreams are more like nightmares. I feel like they are trying to tell me something but what do they mean?"
"What kinds of dreams are you having?"
"They aren't too bad or anything like that but they are very vivid and every time I go to sleep the next dream is always worse than the last"
"Well did you happen to drink and fluids before bed?"
"Yes I just had a glass of ice water"
"Ah I see there is your problem. You see a woman can not drink any fluids before she goes to bed or else your mind will play tricks on you."
"Also another thing I've been having non-stop back pain"
"Here's a tip Hun, sleep on your side with your knees bent. Sleeping on your sides will relieve that back pain and prevent shortness of breath."
"Thank you Dr. Carson"
"You welcome. Now that I know that you are sure with the procedure, I'm a need you to pee in this cup and we will have to take some test"
"Meaning?"
"In the course of three days you will have to take the six tests."
"Wow that's a lot"
"I know but I will make it quick and less painful...for the most part."
"Uh....okay" I was unsure of myself but I had these tests done before twice so I'm sure it won't be that bad.
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